Chapter 23

Wen Yi did not leave. He stood beside her and casually took up the work Qin Xi had dropped.

The kitchen was quiet. Only the chicken soup stewing on the stove gave off a dull bubbling sound.

After squeezing three or four meatballs, Qin Nanshan called her softly. “Wen Yi.”

Wen Yi’s anger was already gone, but her tone was still fierce. “What?”

He said, “Just now Dad asked whether we want to cash out part of the shares to use as everyday living expenses.”

“You decide yourself. Why ask me?”

Before the marriage Qin Nanshan had explained his assets to her. One day after the marriage he had spoken even more in detail and even given her his salary card and bank cards. Only then did she know that even without the shares and house Grandpa had given, this convenient husband of hers was far richer than she had imagined.

He basically had no large expenses. The money from his doctoral studies and work had all been saved. The settling-in allowance was also a large sum. He also managed investments. The investment returns he had mentioned before the marriage that could cover daily life were not false at all.

But apart from living expenses and joint spending, she had not wanted to use his money. The cards just sat in the nightstand drawer.

Qin Nanshan: “Mom and Dad plan to transfer half of those shares to us. Of course you have the right to dispose of them.”

“Do you have no thoughts of your own?”

“Aunt is actually not very satisfied with our 20 percent controlling stake, and the furniture business has not been easy these past two years. I was thinking of taking half out to use for other investments.”

“I cannot invest.”

“I will.”

Wen Yi kept her head down. The corners of her eyes gently curved. “All right then.”

Qin Nanshan was half a head taller than her. At this moment his gaze dropped and he saw the faint smile in her eyes. For some reason he felt a breath of relief in his heart.

He took the last bit of meat from her hands. While squeezing meatballs he continued, “There is one more thing. There is a vacancy for deputy director in our department. The university vice president and Dad both want me to take it. I am asking your opinion.”

Wen Yi looked up at him. “Such a big matter, and you ask my opinion. If I tell you not to do it, will you not do it?”

“Mm.”

The answer came too fast. Wen Yi froze.

He said, “A deputy director has to manage many complicated things. I still have a project. Next the baby will be born. I have no time to look after too much. I was thinking of putting it off for now.”

A woman’s recovery period after giving birth of more than a year is a pause button for her career. Men are different. At most they need to spend ten days of paternity leave. Some people have not even accompanied their wives for a single day.

Wen Yi thought for a few moments and asked him, “What about your plans for the future?”

“Too many plans are not useful. The people and things in front of you are the most important.” Qin Nanshan said, “A career that requires giving up the family is not worth earning.”

Wen Yi thought of what Xuan Ying had said earlier and of his childhood. She stayed quiet.

Career and family really seemed impossible to balance. Back then Xuan Ying and Qin Heng had chosen career. Now he chose family and the child.

If she were a bit more selfish she would naturally be happy. With him taking care of the child she could do more.

After a long while Wen Yi scooped the cooked meatballs out of the pot and said calmly, “You decide yourself. If you take this deputy director post I will support you. But you cannot be absent from the child’s growth. That also means you will be even busier from now on.”

“If you want to put it off, you have to be prepared that the chance may not come again. That is the consequence of this choice.”

Qin Nanshan’s expression loosened. “All right.”

Wen Yi glanced at him. “All right what?”

“I will not do it.”

Wen Yi found it funny. “How can you have no ambition at all!”

The corners of Qin Nanshan’s mouth lifted. “Once I finish the project in my hands, being evaluated as a professor will no longer be a problem. Then I can apply for the Four Youths and become the youngest young backbone in the department. There will always be chances.”

“And now you are even getting smug.”

Qin Nanshan moved a little closer to her and laughed softly. “It just means you will have to wait a little longer to become the deputy director’s wife.”

Wen Yi glanced at him with no good temper and turned to leave.

Qin Nanshan quickly caught her. His voice softened. “There is one more thing.”

“How can there be so many things.”

The man stared into her eyes. His clear eyes were warm. He asked slowly, “Are you still angry?”

Wen Yi was stunned, then said furiously, “I am so angry I could die! If you dare look down on me I will definitely with you…”

She cut herself off. Wen Yi did not say those two words. She glared at him and walked out.

Behind her the man’s smile was deep.

This meant she was no longer angry.

…

At dinner Qin Nanshan did his utmost to please her, putting food in her bowl, pouring water, adding rice. He was so enthusiastic that the family of three kept looking toward the two of them.

Wen Yi could not stand it. Under the table her hand fiercely pinched the flesh on his thigh and warned him with her eyes. Only then did he stop.

Xuan Ying watched the sweet interaction between her son and daughter-in-law and was extremely happy. “Yiyi, eat more. Right now you are the most important person in our family.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

At the table they spoke of matters at Uncle’s house. Zhong Lan wanted the idle Qin Kan to go help at the company. Qin Yong refused. Husband and wife had a huge fight. In the end Qin Yong compromised and gave Qin Kan a small post. Qin Kan had only just come of age and had not gone to school. How would he know any proper work? After going for a few days he ran off directly. Qin Yong and Zhong Lan started fighting again. Sure enough it was chaos.

Listening, Wen Yi actually had other thoughts. Qin Nanshan’s family could not intervene in company affairs, and the only company was this kind of family enterprise. In the future it would inevitably have to be handed to Qin Kan.

If Qin Kan kept being this sloppy, that 20 percent of shares would probably not yield a single cent in the end.

But she was still a new daughter-in-law and it was not good to intervene too much. Later when it was appropriate she would mention it to Qin Nanshan. This was all her daughter’s milk powder money.

After the meal Qin Nanshan helped Xuan Ying tidy up. Qin Xi was arranged to keep Wen Yi company watching television.

Qin Xi leaned close to her and asked in a small gossipy voice, “Sister-in-law, can I ask you something?”

“Mm?”

“A person like my brother, besides being a bit handsome, what do you like about him?”

Qin Xi had figured it out. Earlier in the kitchen it had not been a quarrel at all. It was clearly flirtatious banter. Quarreling was the secret to warming up feelings. Look, just now at the dinner table her brother had that bootlicking look. How could the two of them quarrel?

The family melodrama on television had reached its climax, but Wen Yi’s heart jumped. She immediately withdrew her eyes and asked in surprise, “Where did you see that I like your brother?” Afraid she would misunderstand, she patched it. “I cannot even say clearly what I like about him.”

Qin Xi shrugged. “I do not know. A feeling, I guess. Otherwise why would you go listen to his lecture? And go to his school for recruitment today?”

The corners of Wen Yi’s mouth tugged. “That counts as liking?”

She had just been idle and bored. Going to recruitment was not some difficult job. It just so happened he could also drive them together. How convenient.

Besides, they had just quietly quarreled in their hearts…

“Is it not?” Qin Xi seemed determined to prove her liking. “Then sister-in-law, tell me. When you see my brother, do you have that feeling of your heartbeat speeding up?”

“It is all right. Lately the baby sometimes moves. My heartbeat is a bit faster than before.”

“Aiya, that is not what I mean.” Qin Xi asked again, “Then have you had the impulse to push my brother down?”

That she had always had, but she was too embarrassed to say it too clearly to a young girl. She muddled past it and attributed it to physical need.

Qin Xi asked several questions in a row and could not get the answer she wanted. She was very discouraged. “Sister-in-law, does this mean you do not like my brother?”

Wen Yi could not stop laughing and comforted her. “I like him. If I did not like him, how would I have married him?”

“That is true. Marriage is a woman’s grave. Sister-in-law, you are so outstanding and yet you are having a child for my brother. You must love him to death. My brother is truly lucky.”

Wen Yi pressed her lips together and did not pick up that sentence.

Qin Xi came over to hug her and sighed. “Sister-in-law, you two must be well.”

“All right.”

…

After showering, Wen Yi lay on the bed looking at her phone. After replying to some messages she scrolled Moments.

Qin Tan had posted something, very vaguely wishing herself a happy birthday. Looking at the location, she was in the dormitory.

Wen Yi stayed on the Moments interface for a while. Qin Nanshan came in. She asked, “Is today Qin Tan’s birthday?”

Qin Nanshan shook his head. “I am not very sure, but it seems to be around this time.”

Wen Yi thought of Qin Xi. They were both daughters of the same family. When Qin Xi found a job the whole family wanted to celebrate for her, while Qin Tan could only secretly spend her birthday by herself. Wen Yi felt endless heartache.

“Do you think I should send her a gift?”

“As you like.”

Wen Yi switched to the chat window, sent her birthday wishes, and asked whether there was any gift she wanted. Of course Qin Tan said no. Wen Yi decided herself: [I will buy it and send it to you in a couple of days. Happy birthday, Xiao Tan.]

When she put down her phone Qin Nanshan had already finished showering and come out, a towel in his hand wiping his hair. After wiping it half dry he walked over.

Wen Yi’s gaze followed, watching him lift the quilt and lie on the bed.

The shower gel on this eastern suburb side was not the brand at home. It should have been bought by Xuan Ying. Wen Yi remembered four words written on the bottle, “Enchanting Floral Fragrance.” Now both of them smelled of a sweet floral scent. It was cloying.

He asked, “Not asleep?”

“No.”

Only after answering did he pick up his phone and type, as if he were still working.

Wen Yi asked as if casually, “What have you been busy with these past few days?”

He replied while typing, “The preliminary review result of the project came out. Our project passed. Now we are preparing for the second review. Professor Li fell ill at the beginning of the year. The two graduate students under him were pushed to me. There are a few too many things.”

Wen Yi’s heart eased. “Then is it finished?”

On WeChat it was the newly assigned graduate student asking him about the direction of the proposal. After he replied he turned off the phone, turned to look at her, and asked gently, “More or less. What is it?”

“Next time tell me about these things.” Otherwise it made her overthink. Wen Yi reached out and turned off the light on her side. The bedroom dimmed a few degrees. “The baby moves more and more frequently now. We have to do language prenatal education. You cannot always be this busy.”

Qin Nanshan was stunned, then smiled. “All right.”

By now he was more and more skilled at lifting her clothes, but only as far as below her chest.

When the warm palm covered her belly the baby seemed to sense it and moved lightly.

Qin Nanshan glanced at her sideways, a trace of delight in his eyes. “It moved.”

“Mm. I felt it.”

He withdrew his hand, picked up his phone to look for music. Soon a low, soft, slow piano piece flowed out. At first the two of them had argued about prenatal education music, but right now Wen Yi gladly agreed with his choice.

If the one in her belly was a little daughter she needed to listen more to piano and violin. Rock and that sort of thing were absolutely not allowed.

The music was soothing. Husband and wife were rarely this harmonious. Qin Nanshan looked over, as if he had found a good time to talk, and said seriously, “I thought about today’s matter. I still have to make it clear to you.”

The man’s voice was light and clear. “Wen Yi, I do not look down on you. I still hold to my view. What I give is not in order to get something. Including the cooking and dishwashing you mentioned today, these are things I should do and must do. Do not overthink.”

“You are right. Cooking and dishwashing compared with your pregnancy and giving birth are truly not worth mentioning. So in this relationship I am the one who has the advantage.”

Wen Yi looked at him and said nothing.

It was not the first time she knew what kind of person he was. The environments they grew up in were different. His childhood often forced or left him no choice but to become the one who gave. Her life required her to calculate and see clearly every person around her.

Seek common ground while reserving differences. He held to his. She believed hers. Everyone had their own principles for handling affairs. There was no need, just because they were husband and wife, to copy even their brains.

She had been willing to marry him and had long prepared herself to accept him. After these few hours Wen Yi had figured it out in her heart. What she minded was not how he treated others, but how he treated her.

Wen Yi bit her lower lip, stared into his eyes, and asked it out. “Then why do you not touch me, and not kiss me either? We are husband and wife, not husband and wife playing house.”

The air suddenly went quiet. Breathing could be heard as it landed.

After a long while Qin Nanshan withdrew the gaze that met hers. A few seconds later he looked back and said gently, “That night before I drank a little and acted on impulse. We…”

His tone seemed difficult. He paused and thought for a while. “Wen Yi, perhaps our feelings have not yet reached the degree where we can break through the boundary. I hope to give you respect.”

Wen Yi understood. As expected, a block of wood.

In other words if he did not love he would not touch. They already had a child and he was still playing these empty games. How could there be someone so bound by rules?

Wen Yi sighed. So that meant to sleep with him they still had to love each other first? Then that night she had truly been “lucky.”

“According to what you say, if we never love each other in this lifetime, would that not mean a lifetime of a sexless marriage?”

Qin Nanshan looked straight at her. His brows and eyes were heavy like mist. When the mist scattered a faint smile rippled out. “It will not.”

Wen Yi did not quite understand, yet being looked at by him made the roots of her ears slightly hot. She lowered her eyes and muttered, “Tomorrow I will go buy a bottle of wine and get you drunk!”

Qin Nanshan heard it and laughed low. He picked up his phone again, found a prenatal story, and read it, dutifully being a good father.

The atmosphere lightened quite a bit. The just-right dim yellow light gathered overhead, like an undercurrent spinning beneath a calm surface, quietly containing everything and also swallowing everything.

Wen Yi half leaned against the head of the bed, her palm gently stroking her lower abdomen, and looked up at him.

“Qin Nanshan, have you seen the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith?”

He said, “No.”

Wen Yi said no more and did not introduce it to him either. She quietly listened to him gently reading the story. “In Flower Town there is a forest, strawberries, mushrooms, fresh flowers, and also a little lake and a little river. The puppy Huanhuan lives here…”

“Dad.”

Qin Nanshan was slightly stunned and turned to look.

Wen Yi lifted a smile. “You have to tell the baby you are her dad. Otherwise how will she know who you are?”

She often talked to the baby by herself, but Qin Nanshan rarely did. Before when he applied pregnancy oil he had only simply applied it. At this moment the man looked a bit at a loss and stopped for a long time without speaking.

Qin Nanshan truly did not know what to do. Over these few months the identity of “Dad” had been carved into his heart day by day, but these two words had never left his mouth. He felt he was not yet ready to bear the responsibility of a father.

After a stretch of silence he said low, “Baby, I am Dad.”

The little one in the belly immediately gave a response. Without even touching they could see it clearly. Husband and wife looked at each other in tacit understanding, then smiled. Wen Yi said, “You see. She heard it.”

“Mm.” He answered once. The story continued. “Puppy Huanhuan’s family has a dad and a mom, grandpa and grandma, and also a lovely little sister…”

Under the orange-yellow light the man’s sharply cut face was soft. The almost dry stray hair on his forehead was messy, contrary to his earlier rigorous and solemn presence, looking lazy and casual.

Her gaze moved down. Wen Yi looked at his eyes and actually saw from those pitch-black, deep pupils a sense of years at peace.

She did not know whether it was the story or the person that made one feel steady and calm. Wen Yi could not help thinking that the baby having him as a father was not a bad thing.

In life there were not those earth-shattering clashes and wars like in the movies, nor that burning love that could still fiercely play out a bedroom scene after bombing each other with heavy machine guns.

They only had the usual harmless little fights that added interest to life, understood each other better in the noise, returned to calm after the noise, and played their respective roles well in the marriage.

She gradually found a way to keep balance in this relationship. Sometimes she looked at that neat little home of seventy or eighty square meters and thought that living there for a lifetime would not be impossible.

As for those things Qin Xi had said, and the reason he kept the boundary…

Wen Yi closed her eyes.

“At night the little lake, the little hill, the forest, and the little grass all entered dreamland. Only the stars quietly blinked their eyes. Puppy Huanhuan happily ran back and forth on the grass…”