DAY 13: MORNING

DAY 13

MORNING

♦

INSIDE THE CAVE

 

FOR THE SECOND MORNING in a row, I ate delicious fish.

Fish Girl woke me up. If her parents are fish, isn’t feeding me fish messed up? The girls were in high spirits again this morning, elated at the prospect of finding a town.

The nerds had acted like rowdy teen boys before leaving in search of a town, but the girls held so many girls-only meetings that I wondered what they were planning. Maybe they were like the nerds—planning to go after the wild beast guys that inevitably prowled in a fantasy world? Were some of them after the same shape-shifting raccoon dogs as the nerds? If any of them said they had a thing for cute young boys, I would have no choice but to file a police report all the same.

We set off, and after a while, we reached a deep part of the forest. Even the high-level goblins were no match for our group. Whenever they started to overwhelm us, I drove them back with a storm of fire bullets. No challenge, no excitement.

I prepared lunch while the rest finished off some goblins. I used Earth Magic to make a stone grill and cooked wild-caught fish with mushrooms using Fire Magic. The day I had dreamt of for so long had finally arrived. I wrapped the fish and mushrooms in herbs and let them poach in their own juices on the grill. The herbs mingled with the scent of the fish, giving it a refreshing and slightly astringent fragrance. With this flavor, I felt like I could fight for a whole year! There’s nothing wrong with liking fish! The girls had raved about the food too, after all. Well, the mushrooms. That was ridiculous—the fish was clearly the best part!

We decided to hunt kobolds after lunch. We needed more practice against fast monsters, and they granted more experience. I’m bored out of my mind!

We finished eating and began our hunt. Running into a bunch of high-level ones could be bad. Let’s stick to kobolds below level 10. During lunch, the girls came up with a strategy for defeating kobolds. I warned them that, unlike goblins, they were fast, had a mean bite, and howled when in danger.

Shortly after, we ran into a pack of kobolds—levels 6, 8, and 9. A perfect challenge to get the girls some practical experience. Okay, time to test out fighting in a group. Let’s do it!

Within seconds, agonizing screams echoed through the forest. Before we could test out our strategy, the kobolds had sunk their teeth into several of the girls.

The quick kobolds easily broke our formation. Three kobolds managed to outflank our much larger group. Is now a good time to panic?

These kobolds didn’t even have 40 speed. Just comparing stats, the girls should’ve been faster, but for some reason they couldn’t keep up. Eventually, the mean girls finished one off, uncannily calm again, but they still barely kept in formation. Everyone’s stats were fine; their lack of experience fighting wild monsters was the real problem. But that still doesn’t explain why this is going so badly. What’s going on?

“Waaa, it hurts! They—they—they bit me!”

“Wh-what do I do? Do I—aah, what should I do?!”

“I can’t do it! I can’t get them!”

“Ahh… Huh?” Vice Rep B whipped around. “What’s going on?”

Her sudden movements are too distracting. Uh, I’m definitely not looking, I’m focused on the kobolds! Flawless excuse!

I absolutely needed to step in, because I was worried about getting yelled at if I kept watching. Especially if my traitorous eyes kept focusing on the wrong features.

The level 9 kobold was the only one that had Pack Tactics. If not for that, the fight might have even been too easy. Okay, the Class Rep is glaring at me, time to act!

I had somehow gotten a skill called Parallel Thinking, presumably because I kept casting so many flame bullet spells at the same time. That would definitely not work here—the girls would be furious if I fired off a storm of bullets into this chaotic fray. I also needed to try out Four Elements magic and Movement magic since those skills had gone up several levels since I last used them. No need for Lightning Magic, though, since I’d practiced it plenty catching fish.

I hadn’t tried Movement Magic at full force in quite a while, and I was scared that my inner Klutzy Anime Girl would reemerge when I tried. Cannonballing uncontrollably was embarrassing enough when I was alone—it would’ve been way more mortifying with the girls watching.

Instead, I backstabbed Kobold A with my stick. Rather than counterattacking, the kobold ran away from me. I gave chase. Let’s see how you like being hunted! Whenever I caught up and stabbed the kobold, it started running faster and faster. Just how fast can this thing go? We ended up racing in circles around the group of girls.

Kobolds B and C couldn’t keep up and were defeated by the mean girls. I caught a glimpse of the mean girls’ eyes, empty and blood-curdling. I decided I’d pretend not to notice.

Without warning, Kobold A came to an immediate stop, swung around, and slashed with its claws. Stupid, so stupid! I couldn’t stop on a dime like that!

I didn’t have time to do anything at all. In other words, my momentum carried me safely past the claws and unsafely crashing headlong into the monster. We somersaulted across the undergrowth in a tangle of limbs and snarls. At the moment of impact, I managed to thrust my staff into its skull, killing it instantly. Compared to what the mean girls did to the other kobolds, it was a merciful death. I was exhausted.

We regrouped and resumed our strategy meeting. For some reason, they were all mad at me.

“Didn’t I tell you that they were fast?” I asked. “And that they bite and howl?”

“We can’t defeat monsters only knowing that!”

“Fast was a massive understatement!”

“How does saying ‘they bite’ count as giving good advice?!”

“And why were you running in circles with that kobold anyway?”

“What are we supposed to do with that info?”

What was this storm of criticism? Kobolds are fast and they bite. And they howl! What more do you want?!

“Well, all the nerds told me about them was that they’re blue, tall, slender, and have dog heads. That’s it! Saying that they’re fast and bite is way more help than I ever got! I even remembered to mention that they howl!”

They all shouted over each other in protest. Maybe furor was a more fitting term. Hell, you could even call it an uproar. An uproarious furor, definitely, I thought.

“The monsters upriver are weaker, but we might run into the guys there. Are any of you okay with that?”

Everyone fell quiet. Even the nerds had tried to get away from those guys.

Of course they’re not prepared for that encounter. I won’t make them go upstream.

Surely not all the guys had lost their minds, but there was no way of knowing or finding out which were still decent. It was safer to avoid them altogether and look for town. The guys wouldn’t be able to survive the deep reaches of the forest at their level; the only route they had left went past my cave.

If they found the cave, I could blockade it and stop them from getting to the nerds and the girls. That was a short-term solution, but I didn’t want to consider the long-term options. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of killing a person, but if it came down to it, I’d have to. From all I’d heard, they showed no signs of guilt, remorse, or regret. I would have to make them regret their actions.

Our meeting concluded with a new strategy: the girls should hunt pairs of low-level kobolds to start with. If there were three or more, or they were too strong, I was to jump in right away and help. I was banned from challenging them to footraces, playing tag, or engaging in any other shenanigans.

After spending the rest of the day hunting kobolds, the girls grew used to fighting. By dusk, one group could easily dispose of two kobolds by themselves. They all leveled up considerably, too.

Whenever we ran into goblins or kobolds on the way back, the girls handled them all on their own. They scanned their surroundings for threats, maintained defensive formations, and neutralized their foes. Soon, they’ll be strong enough that I can retire, I thought.

Back in the cave, I made beds and simple furniture for their rooms. They didn’t plan on staying for much longer, but I figured that I ought to be a good host until they left.

By the river, one of the girls taught me Ice Magic. As usual, I got the knack for it using Packing Magic. I ate dinner, took a bath, and the day was already over. I’d better make the tent gigantic, I thought. Not big enough for one…or four, or even eight. I’ll make it large enough for twelve people. It was practically a dome.

As soon as I set it up, the girls poured into it.

“Wow! Look at how, like, spacious it is!” said the Queen Bee.

“How is it a different size every time we visit?”

“It’s way bigger than before,” said Fish Girl.

“Hey, Haruka-kun,” said the Class Rep. “I kind of told everyone to check out how big the tent was now.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “There’s mushroom tea.”

Uh, why do they like mushroom tea this much? Did the tea start fermenting by accident or something? Are we about to have some sort of weird drunken rave? I decided to just observe from outside the tent. But when I tried to leave, they blocked the exit. Why not? Why can’t I just watch from a distance? There’s a bit too much skin in this tent for a high school guy to handle!

“Uhm, what’s going on?” I asked.

“We’re debriefing after the mission!”

For some reason, they all sat down in a circle. The Class Rep led the discussion, starting with an analysis of kobold stats. She sat so close to me that I could feel the warmth of her body. Next to her was Vice Rep A, sitting cross-legged in short shorts. Those legs! Have to look elsewhere! My gaze settled on Vice Rep B, nodding in agreement with Class Rep, and her assets nodding along with her… It’s a trap! Where am I supposed to look?! Sitting directly opposite me, Vice Rep C and Nudist Girl were goofing off, playfully shoving each other and rolling around. Their skirts kept flapping as they tumbled. What is happening?! I’m a pervert no matter where I look! It’s a trap!

Fish Girl and two others I didn’t know sat to my left. I soon recognized them; they were the two muscle-head chicks from the volleyball team. The mean girls crowded in behind them. Why do they always end up behind me? I’m totally hemmed in. The girls from the literature club squeezed in next to them. So cramped! A loner shouldn’t be in this situation! The Class Rep continued, “—and that’s why we need at least one person to slow enemies down.” Class Rep, did you really need to invite this many people to a debriefing? The girls rolling around aren’t even listening! “All right everyone, next up…” I’m supposed to be a loner…