DAY 20: AFTERNOON

DAY 20

AFTERNOON

It was pretty terrible that high school girls, during such a sensitive period in their lives, were given such a weird nickname.

OMUI GUILD

 

I SCANNED THE LIST of guild jobs again. I thought, We’re in a fantasy world, right? And I’m in a fantasy guild where people put their lives on the line, right? So why are all of the jobs so…mundane? These were all reliable, boring jobs! Didn’t anyone want to live a little? Where was all the ambition and fantasy?! This was basically the public employment office! The greatest nemesis of any NEET!

Construction work: I didn’t mind the idea, but it didn’t pay much.

Same problem with shipping work.

Security assignments had long hours but still didn’t pay much.

Monster hunting: goblins and wolves were worth the least. Should I just go kill as many as I could?

All the tasks seemed…too normal. There were no legendary dragons, demonic monstrosities, or any get-rich-quick quests at all. It was as lame as could be. They even listed the working hours for each job.

“Haruka-san, why have you been staring at the classifieds for so long?”

The receptionist really did know how to do her job. Someone who got scolded, instead of delivering the reprimands! Receptionist, you’re nothing like Class Rep!

“I’ve got no money, so I was thinking…could I kill some monsters on the down low to earn some cash?”

No! How can this be? Even the receptionist is glaring at me! She’s evolved into the Class Rep-ceptionist!

I got morning glares from the Class Rep, afternoon glares from the receptionist. What awaited me tonight? Could I find some sketchy nightlife? Maybe I would get the kind of adult glares that really got me going? That old spear guy still had to deliver on his promise.

“Don’t say that so loud! We would prefer that you act with a bit more subtlety overall,” said the receptionist dryly. “You just keep looking at the job board without a care if anyone sees you.”

“Huh? No one here looks at me in the first place, so I figured no one would notice?”

I scanned the hall, and just as I expected, no one met my gaze. There was obviously no problem!

“Didn’t we just give you 8 million ele yesterday? Were you mugged?”

“Oh, that? The spear dude took me to this really weird shop, but I had such a great time that I ended up staying way too late into the night. It wasn’t at all what I expected, but I learned so many new things there. It looked really unsavory on the outside, but it was the kind of place where I just couldn’t stop myself from spending all the money I had, you know?”

Weirdly, just as I was wrapping up telling the receptionist about that suspicious shop, the spear dude walked in, went bright red, and quickly dragged her away to explain something. Was there something going on between them?

 

If I left town, I could only get back in with identification papers. I wasn’t an adventurer or a business owner, so I couldn’t get any kind of guild card, and I wasn’t a resident, so I didn’t have residency papers. What’s a NEET to do?

Without identification, I’d have to pay to enter, but I was flat broke for some reason. I wanted to go hunting to earn some money, but I couldn’t get paid without paying the entry fee I couldn’t afford! Being a NEET is a catch-22! I should’ve guessed how hard town life would be.

My only option was to sneak out and sneak back in. The whole town was surrounded by a two-meter-high wall, which I could easily leap over with Airwalk. However, if I was caught, everyone would lecture me. The Class Rep would take over when the gatekeeper got tired; they’d tag-team me. I wouldn’t be able to smooth things over with dried fruit souvenir bribes.

I was wearing my Cloak? (Seven Slots) with the stored effect of Invisibility Cloak: Others less likely to notice you. I still had five more slots to fill.

I wasn’t sure how it worked. My body didn’t disappear or anything, but it seemed like people had more trouble noticing me. Maybe my shadow was paler? As long as I was careful, no one would spot me. Just think sneaky. No one will know I was ever gone if I come back right away. This was like a longer version of the five second rule. I activated Presence Concealment and Stealth, put on my “Black Hat: Stealth bonus. Defense +30. Presence Concealment” and pulled my hood over it. The only thing left was—

A hand grabbed me by the collar. Another girl stepped from around a corner and said, “Are you some sort of criminal? Why are you trying to sneak out of town? Just report that you’re leaving.”

I nearly jumped out of my cloak. “Uh! Febreze Dancer! Nothing! Don’t surprise me like that!”

It was the athletic girls A and B. Nudist Girl from the swim team wasn’t with them, even though she was one of the Four Sports Queens. Since she was the weakest member, was she also the first defeated?

“That’s not her name! And don’t even think about calling us the Twin Telephone Poles.”

They had a fiery glint in their eyes as they glared at something. Did they still have a chip on their shoulder about the nickname the school gave them, the Twin Telephone Poles? To be fair, it was pretty terrible that high school girls, during such a sensitive period in their lives, were given such a weird nickname.

Wait a second. Were they glaring at me?

“Where’s Nudist Girl?” I asked. “Did she finally get arrested for public indecency?”

“No, we’re actually trying to find her, too. Besides, she wouldn’t get naked in the middle of the town, so she definitely hasn’t been arrested.”

Presence Sense had leveled up enough that I could easily detect all the other girls in town, but I couldn’t tell any of them apart. Someone is nearby…who is that again?

“Found her,” I said. “She’s not naked yet, but it looks like she’s ready to tear her clothes off.”

We tracked her to a nearby clothing shop where she was dashing down the aisles, grabbing everything she could. Was there a fire sale or something? So far, she was sensible enough not to get changed in the middle of the store. So why doesn’t she have enough sense to not take her clothes off in front of a sensitive teenaged boy?

We entered the shop.

“Nudist Girl,” I called. “Why do you need to buy clothes? You’ll just end up taking them off anyway.”

“Don’t ruin my sterling reputation! I’m not a…nudist,” she responded, apparently flashing back to some past trauma. “I’m wearing…clothes… I’m wearing…”

Maybe she was a repeat offender. Had she been arrested for public indecency before?

“Those clothes look cute though,” I said. “They suit you.”

I wanted to snap her out of whatever dead-eyed depressive mood she was in, but I was also telling the truth—there were some seriously cute clothes in this world. She had two outfits in hand, and both were adorable.

“Y-you r-really mean it? Really? I don’t know…”

Now I saw what was happening. We got here just in time! She had found the clothes she wanted to try but the changing rooms must have all been full. She was rushing around in a panic, and she was about to give up and change in front of everyone!

“I think they’re both good,” I said. “Are you having trouble deciding?”

“I can’t afford both outfits, but I really like them and they’re just the right size. I wanted to try them on, but none of the changing rooms are open!”

She knew they fit, but she still wanted to try them on? I really don’t get girls.

“Why don’t you just buy them both?” I said. “I can lend you the money. Just agree to a 1000 percent daily interest rate, okay?”

“No one could ever pay that back! Who would ever take a loan from you?!” She shivered. “D-don’t tell me that you want me to pay with my body if I can’t get enough money! I knew you were after my body!”

“I was joking. I’ll lend it to you with no interest.”

“O-of course. W-why…would anyone be interested…in my body…”

Why does she look like she was stabbed in a tragic betrayal?! I gave her a silver coin so she could pay. The other athletic girls rushed to the racks, and I ended up lending them money, too.

I turned to them after they finished paying. “Now I’ll have you pay back your debt with labor!”

“We knew it!” they wailed. “You’re after our bodies! You can’t make us work in a brothel!”

“That wasn’t my plan at all,” I said. “Besides, having Nudist Girl with you makes you suspicious enough, you don’t have to go anywhere near a brothel.”

“Whenever you tell us to not worry about something, I start to worry extra!” protested Nudist Girl. “And I’m not a nudist! Look, I’m buying clothes now, aren’t I?”

That made it sound like she’d arrived at the clothing shop naked. It was amazing that no one tried to arrest her then.

I got the four of them to leave town, which was no problem since they had their guild cards. I snuck out behind them, which was no problem since I was being super sneaky.

“How did they not notice you?” shouted the girls as soon as we got away from the gate.

“Uh, couldn’t you tell I was being sneaky?”

“You were literally walking like you always do!”

I needed to search for some more pocket change, preferably a few pockets full of change, or a few buckets. The best method was to instigate a quick goblin massacre.

I spotted a level two goblin—hell yeah!—and began my massacre. My first prey dropped with a thud—kerplunk. Its club was only worth a measly 500 ele. I had to find juicier targets; this walking chump change wasn’t even worth testing my new weapons on. Where are you, sweet pocket change?

Kerplunk, kerplunk.

I want to see what these new weapons do, but these goblins are too weak for me to even tell. (Kerplunk, shaboom, gyaaah!)

I tore a bloody swath through the forest, leaving hardly anything for the Four Sports Queens to fight. At this rate, they’d never be able to pay me back. Still, split between five people, our earnings couldn’t even be called chump change.

Gyaaaargle!

Besides the weak goblins, we only found ultra-low-level howling wolves. They yowled and fell in packs as I continued my massacre.

Awoo—grrch!

The stench of goblin and wolf was pervasive and overwhelming. Ew, blech.

The Sylvan Staff had a few open slots, so I stored the Void Staff in it. The Mana Cutter also fused with my staff even though I was way below the minimum required level for it. It’s so loud in here, why do wolves and goblins have to cause such a racket when they die?

The dead goblins piled up as high as a telephone pole.

I wondered if I could activate the Mana Cutter’s effect with my staff. As an experiment, I infused it with some magic and gave an experimental slice in the air. A wave of energy arced blade-like across the length of my staff—now it was really slashing like a sword!

I ran through a horde of goblins, cutting them to shreds. Apparently, I could use the Mana Cutter’s effect when it was in the Sylvan Staff because the staff itself had no level requirements. The Void Staff’s effect didn’t seem to do anything, though…

“These goblins are way too puny,” I muttered to myself. “Are there any beefier monsters who want to volunteer for an experiment?”

“Hey! Stop talking to yourself! We’re trying to kill monsters over here! Besides, those spellstones won’t collect themselves!”

What did I do this time? I knew I should’ve bought that Pheromone Ring. Never underestimate the importance of sex appeal. 2.6 million ele was a lot, but maybe I could’ve haggled it down?

We ended up collecting loot worth a scant 20,000 ele each. Could I haggle it all the way down to 20,000?

The monsters were too weak to level anything up at all. The Four Sports Queens were able to pay me back that same day, so they didn’t need to sell their bodies at a brothel, either. Not that I had any interest in a place like that. Does anyone know where I can find one?