DAY 22: NIGHT

DAY 22

NIGHT

They’d passed an event horizon of idiocy, where the very physics of stupidity broke down.

THE FOREST

 

AS SOON AS I GOT into the forest, I ran into an orc. Hey, it’s been a hot second! With one swing of my staff, the orc toppled into a useless heap.

The orcs were usually much farther upriver. This was too many, too close to town. Did someone accidentally tell the orcs about all the options for adult entertainment in town? Is that why they all came rushing here? Those imposter bandits were as ugly as orcs, so I doubted that anyone would notice if orcs visited that nameless town. Though they definitely wouldn’t be going into town now—I killed them all. Sucks to be them.

They were probably happier not going. Life in a big town like that was tough. The whole society revolved around money, but there was no money to be made. Unemployment was rampant. Even striking it rich didn’t work—all the money I made short-selling spellstones was confiscated by the Class Rep! And as a final twist of the knife, I was still scolded about money every single day! The whole place left a bad taste in my mouth. Towns are crueler than the wilderness!

The forest was overflowing with goblins, as usual. Every once in a while, there was a solitary orc. Was it going for a relaxing constitutional, perhaps? Was the town a popular monster destination?

Killing orcs was easier than before, even though I was the same level.

The equipment I bought at the suspicious junk shop was more effective than I had anticipated. It may have cost me 8 million ele, but the equipment was proving its worth. I bet that Pheromone Ring would’ve worked like a charm.

Even attacking them head-on was no problem at all. I couldn’t be too careless, but I didn’t need to slow myself down by sneaking. Monsters also became significantly more powerful at certain tiers, level 10 being one of them. Even so, taking those tougher monsters down was no problem.

I still preferred to kill them via ambush instead of facing them head-on. I still didn’t have any weapon techniques, but as far as I was concerned, those were only good for making someone scream and do cardio until they collapsed, so no complaints here. Weapon techniques made no sense!

Before, I couldn’t fight level 10+ goblins face-to-face. Even with a higher power stat, I still couldn’t kill them with my attacks. Was that the real purpose of weapon techniques? That would explain the significance of the level wall. While I was able to dodge all of the bandit spies’ weapon techniques, if I had tried to block them with my staff, I would have died.

When I brought the Mistletoe Sprig near my Sylvan Staff, it leapt from my hand and entwined itself around the staff. The description of the sprig changed, too: “Mistletoe Sprig: A wooden stick. Staff power-up. ? ? Spell absorption.” That new effect must have been absorbing the monster’s weapon techniques, too. Finding a real counter against weapon techniques was a matter of life or death for me. I didn’t expect spell absorption to solve all my problems, but I didn’t want to die testing it out, either.

I couldn’t tell if that effect came from the Mistletoe Sprig or the Sylvan Staff, but if it meant that I could absorb unblockable weapon techniques, I wouldn’t have to depend only on my ability to dodge.

The delinquents, and even the ordinary boys from my class, were all probably over level 10. They might be level 20…maybe even level 30.

If their stats developed anything like the girls’ stats, they would be way more powerful than the commoners of this world without even accounting for their cheat skills. Forget the level wall, I thought. Their stats and skills had to be way past anything I could deal with.

Of course, I was still assuming I’d die in the forest at some point. If that happened, I wouldn’t have to worry about anybody’s stats or skills.

Anyway, the delinquents couldn’t be allowed to leave the forest. Not just for sake of the girls and the nerds, but for all the ordinary people in this world. If they got to town, I was at risk, too. I was the only guy with black hair and eyes in the whole city, so I’d be extremely easy to track down. And if the delinquents made it here, I knew they’d be up to no good.

I’d be able to breathe a little easier if the jocks and nerds were around to give the girls their support.

The town was at least ten days away from where I’d last seen the delinquents. That meant that I could buy some time if I didn’t let them past my cave. The Class Rep and her friends would have time to power level. They had the full support and resources of the Adventurers’ Guild, and I was sure the duke would grant me a favor if I asked. If the nerds came back in the meantime, we would have enough muscle to deal with them.

The nerds were probably the strongest out of everyone. They may have wasted their time nerding about, but they were undeniably powerful. Class Rep and some of the other girls were almost as strong. As long as they had time to prepare, they’d be fine. I’ll worry about what happens next when it actually happens.

The delinquents’ strength lay in the fact that they were unscrupulous, nasty, and brutish. It didn’t matter how strong the girls got. It didn’t even matter if the nerds became the strongest people in this entire world. No one was truly safe from the delinquents. They would exploit the naive goodness of their classmates.

I was the only person who could see through their skulduggery. The others knew who they were. They might forgive the delinquents for the sake of their shared past. Me? I didn’t even know their names. They were just nobodies from my class. They’d get no sympathy from me.

I didn’t have the level, the skills, the stats, or the equipment. The new gear I got made me way stronger, but I didn’t know if it measured up to the combined cheat skills and weapons of the delinquents. I had Luck on my side, but that was it. I was confident that I had more luck than anyone else in the entire world, yet I had no clue if it made any difference.

My only hope of victory was through superior tactics and judgment. If I stayed in the forest, I’d be able to hone my tactics.

If I managed to kill them, problem solved. If neither side could win, that still benefitted me. Time was on our side.

In the unlikely worst-case scenario where I died, the nerds and Class Rep wouldn’t hesitate to kill the delinquents.

With my death, the nerds and the Class Rep would win.

Not that I wanted things to turn out that way. I wanted to live; I just had to find a way to do it…

The delinquents might have decided to stay in the forest, or they might’ve gone elsewhere—away from town. That was the best-case scenario, but I couldn’t just hope for that. If I stayed in town waiting for something to happen, that still left the jocks in danger.

Neither the jocks nor the delinquents had left the forest yet.

That must have meant that the meathead jocks were holding the delinquents off. After abandoning the nerds and the girls, the meatheads had said they wanted to repay their debt, so they stayed behind to stall the delinquents.

That’s a stupid reason. Leave it to meatheads to come up with something that idiotic.

The meatheads were too committed to sportsmanship. On the other hand, I probably had fewer scruples and more dirty tricks than the delinquents.

The jocks were strong, even without fantasy skills and stats. They just couldn’t let go of pesky concepts like honor. It’d get them killed one day.

I just needed to power up by killing as many monsters as I could. If I was lucky, maybe I could even get to level 10.

My staff had turned into a weapon with powers beyond my comprehension, but I could still use it as a regular staff. No matter how far I was from an opponent, my swings always connected. As long as I was faster, I couldn’t be outnumbered. I could force back ten monsters with a hundred attacks or incinerate a hundred monsters with a thousand spells. I could outlast my opponents in a melee battle, like I did with the bandit spies. I can do it.

I had to move quicker than my enemies—attack faster, dodge faster. So long as I was the fastest, I could survive.

 

I got back to the cave late at night. I eradicated all the monsters in the forest, picked up plenty of mushrooms…and I still hadn’t leveled up! No fair!

At least all my ideas, tactics, and strategies had been tested and verified. That was enough for me.

And then, there they were, a bunch of half-dead idiots propped up against the mouth of the cave.

“What’s up? You all look like you’ve seen better days. I thought you dummies were supposed to be strong. Are you guys even alive?”

Tentatively, I prodded one of the jocks with my boot. Something squelched, and he fell on his side, leaving a bloody smear on the cave wall. Many of them were missing limbs, and some had even lost an eye. Their clothes were caked with their own blood.

Holding my nose against that fungal aroma, I doused them with my best potions. The general store lady told me that these were potent enough to grow back missing limbs. These were beyond simple healing potions: they were top-of-the-line regeneration potions. Whatever this potion touched healed immediately. Wounds knit closed, limbs grew back, and eyes popped into once-hollow sockets. I had tested these potions out on the soldiers earlier today, and besides the baldness, they had totally recovered. Why aren’t these idiots saying something stupid yet?

A jock, fully healed, jumped up and shouted, “Yooo! Haruka, what is up?!”

I sneered, “You idiots are in no position to be asking that so casually. How stupid can you get? Didn’t I tell you to just stay safe and get to town? How—what kind of idiotic things did you get yourselves involved in?”

“Well, we weren’t about to wuss out again after we abandoned everyone once before, y’know?”

One of the other meatheads added, “Seemed like you were going to come back, so we decided to kick back and chill out here.”

Another jock rubbed his limbs and started to stretch. “Thanks for the shrooms, bro. They’re really starting to kick in, dude. We’d be dead for real if you didn’t show up.”

“We knew it’d work out in the end. And we were right!”

Just how stupid can you get?

“What are you talking about?! If I hadn’t shown up when I did, you’d all be dead! And if I didn’t happen to have these powerful potions, what did you even expect me to do? You should’ve just come to town! You can’t risk everything and just assume you won’t die! Idiots!”

They’d found new levels of stupidity I believed were only theoretically possible.

“For real?!” they shouted.

I yelled in response, “Why did you keep fighting after losing your arms and legs? Why didn’t you stop when your eyes were gouged and your bodies torn to shreds? How did you even get here without totally bleeding out?! Do you have any idea how stupid that is?”

I took a deep breath and calmed myself before continuing, “I don’t need to remind you how stupid you were. Please, just get some sleep.”

They’d passed an event horizon of idiocy, where the very physics of stupidity broke down.

I should’ve known this would happen. I knew their personalities, and I knew something was off when no one came out of the woods. I should’ve known.

I was the real idiot.