DAY 23: MORNING — THE FOREST
DAY 23
MORNING
Getting more sex appeal would’ve been the wrong move.
THE FOREST
MY NEW TRAINING REGIME was beyond hard. At first, I regretted getting so carried away with the new one-hit move. Every time I did it, I had to build up speed over a long distance just to have the power to pull it off. But after a while, I started to master it. It didn’t use up any MP, which I guess was pretty responsible on my part—and after a while, I could do it in a single clean slash.
In principle, the attack worked because I transferred all my instantaneous acceleration into my attack. Through trial and error, I worked out how much of that explosive burst of speed to retain as momentum and how to move my body to minimize any loss of speed. I weaved the possible variations together and polished the technique to perfection.
Finally, after finishing off countless monsters, I reached level 10. On my list of combat techniques, Life or Death Lv1 appeared. All that practice finally paid off. Not much, but a little.
Did this mean that I could invent my own skills in this world? It was literally called Life or Death, which was how I’d started thinking of it while I made it up. Maybe there were rules and requirements for what could become a skill. I’d come up with plenty of my own techniques before, after all—Human Cannonball, Human Missile, Human Traffic Accident… Okay, I’m glad I didn’t get those skills! But nothing like this had ever happened before. I had to be careful not to come up with any new special attacks unless I was absolutely sure. They might turn into skills. I remembered Flame Whorl, which had been a total disaster. Although maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I made sure to only come up with cool names. Mach 1 Body Slam? I should workshop that. It still sounded like a traffic accident. What would be a cool name… Collective Wolf Crash wasn’t much better. I shouldn’t waste my time thinking about this.
At long last, I was Level 10. I must’ve killed a thousand monsters to get there. If everyone had to kill a thousand monsters just to get to level 10, it would’ve caused a mass monster extinction.
It probably wasn’t just the quantity of monsters, but the quality. Did I level up because I started fighting goblin kings? I fought plenty of regular goblins too, and it still took ages. But this is no time to check my stats!
I noticed that my level had gone up and, while I was celebrating, forgot that I was still in the depths of the forest. Before me stood not just any goblin, not even a goblin king, but a full-blown goblin emperor. I was wrong—they weren’t playing a giant game of King of the Hill, it was Emperor of the Hill all along!
But here I was, overjoyed at reaching level 10, finding myself face-to-face with a level 50 monster. It didn’t just rain on my parade—it dumped a whole hurricane on it! As soon as I’d scaled one level wall, I faced a monster that had scaled four more. A deflation crisis in town and now an inflation crisis in the woods! This world needs an economist! Level 10 seemed totally worthless now. I’d been so happy, so excited. How about showing some more consideration for others, emperor!
If one of those attacks even grazed me, I’d be smashed into a bloody mass of broken bits.
So, I dodged and I parried. I riposted—slashing, stabbing, and bashing seemed to have no effect.
It swung its club in a wide arc, leaving no openings. The club flew in every direction, totally unpredictable. The emperor hemmed me in, giving me nowhere to retreat to.
I had to evade everything.
I did get a few attacks in when I wasn’t dodging and weaving, but they did nothing, even if I built up momentum beforehand. Freezing it, incinerating it, none of it worked. They didn’t even slow it down. And Flame Whorl wasn’t even worth trying—the monster was already bald. I appraised it while I had the chance.
Goblin Emperor A
RACE: Goblin
LV: 50
HP: 456
MP: 97
VIT: 517
POW: 553
SPE: 94
DEX: 38
RES: 19
INT: 11
LUK: 41
COMBAT SKILLS: Hammer Mastery MAX, Great Strike MAX, Body Slam Lv9, Iron Wall Lv 8, Herculean Strength Lv9, Adamantine Lv7, Pulverize Lv7, Barrage Lv7
SKILLS: Super Horny MAX, Daunt MAX, Terror Lv7, Regeneration Lv5, Magic Resistance Lv5
EQUIPMENT: Club
Even though it was a goblin, its speed nearly matched my own. That’s not fair! And no wonder my attacks weren’t doing any damage—it had Regeneration!
I felt a pang of despair as I started to run out of MP. Even if I exhausted all my magical might, it would just regenerate. Spells did nothing more than drain my MP.
I should have been able to freeze its legs in place with Ice Magic or paralyze it with Lightning Magic, but it resisted everything I threw at it.
I would’ve died if it wasn’t for the Evasion Cloak: Spe +20% Evasion Bonus (small) I bought. In hindsight, I was lucky I hadn’t gone for the buffs to my sex appeal like I’d wanted. Is this the cosmos telling me I don’t deserve it? I…I think I might cry!
Shit! I narrowly dodged a swing that would’ve taken off my head—I could smell my hair burning! I can’t afford to go bald!
That swing left the emperor wide open for a counterattack, if only I could reach it. If I never attacked, I’d never win.
All this fighting was making me hungry! I somersaulted past a heavy swing and yanked some dried mushrooms out of my bag. I didn’t have enough time to sprinkle soy sauce on them, so I just shoved fistfuls of them in my mouth as I evaded blows.
This is the end.
The club was coming right at me, and I didn’t have time to get out of the way. I couldn’t deflect the blow either.
With no other options, I stepped forward. The emperor adjusted his swing, but it was too late. The momentum carried his club crashing straight into his own face.
I dodged back and repeated the trick. If I can’t damage the emperor with my staff, I’ll let the emperor do the dirty work himself. Once he started swinging, he couldn’t control it. Again and again, I baited him into attacks so that he’d lose control of his club and hurt himself.
But no matter how often I did that, the goblin emperor didn’t even stumble.
Desperate, I forced an opening. I took a half-step forward, too close to the stinking monster. Trying to keep his eyes on me, he tripped over his own feet. This is my only chance.
“Life or Death!” I shouted, and my staff opened a gash across the emperor’s barrel chest.
It wasn’t enough. It didn’t even do serious damage. Nothing would stop the goblin from regenerating. The bloody wound clotted as I watched. Wasting no time, I used Appraisal once more.
Goblin Emperor A
HP: 282/456
MP: 56/97
I’d drained half of my MP so far. If I didn’t land consecutive attacks, I’d never outpace the goblin’s regeneration. One Life or Death attack wasn’t enough. I needed speed more than power. As I evaded attacks, I knocked him off-balance, used the Life or Death technique, and backed away before he could retaliate. The shadows cast by trees grew longer as our battle raged on.
By now, I knew that my luck was the only thing keeping me alive. I should’ve died 999 times out of a thousand. I’m sorry for every doubting you, Lady Luck; you’ve been pulling your weight this whole time! Thank you for all you have done, Noble Lady Luck! But why did everyone blame me for every problem even when I was innocent? Why didn’t you help me out then, Luck? I wondered. Some mysteries could never be solved.
Without conscious thought, my legs moved of their own accord and my arms swung the staff. At last, the goblin emperor stopped moving. I won. I should’ve died a hundred times over.
I had no clue how much time had passed. My mind was consumed by battle; everything else was irrelevant. Well, except for my quick snack break.
There were still more goblins out there. It was hard to believe that, even though I could’ve died a thousand times—ten thousand times—I still had all my limbs, my eyes weren’t gouged out, and my torso wasn’t a mass of lacerations. At least, not yet.