Pre-Bath – Prologue

You know the ‘kapon’ sound effect you see in manga, when people plunk down the stool? Who came up with that? That’s the kind of minutiae I was thinking about as I sat in the bath.

I tried looking around, but thick steam prevented me from seeing anything around or above me. Just how big is this place?

I had bigger problems at hand, though. You see, there were these figures around me – oh, I’ll just come out and say it. Women. As I sat in the spacious bath, I was surrounded by countless women. Naked women.

When I looked to the right, I saw a girl with preposterously perfect proportions, and when I looked to the left, I saw a slightly plump girl-next-door type. Around them stood five other women with a mystical air to them. No, wait, there were six. The sixth one, a petite girl with long black hair, was hiding in the shadow of another woman as she stared at me. Standing nearby her was a woman who looked like someone’s older sister, and another who looked like someone’s little sister. One girl had beast ears and a tail, while another was a little devil girl who looked small enough to sit on someone’s shoulder.

There were many other women in the bath, and I could even see a giant in the distance who was easily twice as big as me, and ‘mega-sized’ in more ways than one. No matter what they looked like, for some reason, every last woman was creeping toward me with a happy grin on her face.

Wait... Is this a trap?

Any normal, healthy man would probably feel overjoyed in a situation like this, but it all seemed too good to be true, and my suspicion steadily increased. The problem was, I found myself completely surrounded on all sides, so I had no way to escape.

As I heard laughter echo out, the skin-colored siege net instantly closed in on me. A blonde-haired girl was the first to touch me, but her hand was quickly followed by many others.

In a matter of seconds, I was swallowed up into a wall of flesh. If they had been trying to rip me apart, I probably would have felt scared, but all they did was gently caress me. It felt good, if a bit ticklish, so I was at a loss for words. As I started to marvel at the variety and profundity of human skin color, I spotted a lone girl beyond all the fleshly crevices.

She calmly stood up in the water, then began wading toward me. Instantly, the curtain of skin parted, creating a path for her. She stared at me, extended her arms, and then, with a benevolent smile–

“Waaaahh!” I shouted as I awoke with a start. “A dream? What a... dream...” I muttered, trying to catch my breath. My pajamas were caked in sweat.

Incidentally, in between ‘what a’ and ‘dream,’ I had probably meant to stick in an adjective like ‘awesome,’ ‘fun,’ ‘amazing,’ or even ‘totally excellent.’ The too-good-to-be-true developments within the dream had surprised me so much that I’d ended up awaking and ruining it all, so I found myself wishing I had stayed asleep just a bit longer.

But even if I go back to sleep now, I probably won’t be able to see the exact same dream, I thought, as I looked around my room. It didn’t exactly feel like home, but it was the desolate room I’d been assigned to.

My name was Touya Houjou. I used to be your average everyday junior in high school – until a week ago, when I was summoned to another world filled with swords and sorcery, where I was blessed with a miraculous ‘gift’ by a being called the Goddess of Light. Apparently, gifts can only be given to people who are summoned from another world, which is why they called us here.

“But why did they have to give me this gift...”

You see, the gift I had acquired was the ‘Unlimited Bath,’ which allowed me to take a bath anytime, anywhere. It didn’t just create a bath, though – since it was my gift, I knew what it was capable of. It also created a fragrant, gentle soap that could cleanse and soften anyone’s skin to a beautiful degree. It even came with shampoo, conditioner, and treatment products that could help restore damaged hair and improve scalp health.

Basically, I also had the power to beautify anyone’s hair. Oh, and how could I forget to mention the foaming face wash? Skin care is super important.

The bath was also equipped with towels soft enough for a baby’s skin. It was capable of materializing everything one would need for the perfect bath experience. The Unlimited Bath is incredible, and will also give your hair and skin that clean sheen you’ve always dreamed of!

“How am I gonna beat the demon lord with this?!” My shout echoed inside the Unlimited Bath.

It’s not like I had just given up from the get-go, you know. I mean, this power came from the Goddess of Light, so I figured it had some secret to it. I believed in it, and researched it to the best of my abilities. That’s why I was still hanging out in the temple, despite the fact that I’d awakened my gift.

I know, some of you probably think you’ve already figured it all out. ‘I got it! The bathwater has some sacred quality that deals damage to monsters! Or maybe it heals humans, or maybe it can enhance magic. Wait no, maybe every monster in this world, including the demon lord himself, is weak to water!’

Sorry, but no. All wrong. It was just clean, warm water. I thought the wash bowls that came with the bath might have anti-evil powers hidden within them, but no, they were just normal bowls as well. All my research taught me was that the Unlimited Bath only allowed someone to take a bath whenever and wherever they wanted, which was absolutely useless in a fight.

How do they expect me to fight the demon lord with this? There’s just no way...

Letting out a defeated sigh, I stared blankly up at the moist ceiling of the Unlimited Bath.