Bath Break – Newly Installed Pipes

After we finished our barbecue party with Cosmos, we ended up not camping out and returned to Neptunopolis. Their group stayed at the beach and camped for the night. We wanted to deliver the shells to Rondalan as soon as possible, but the bigger reason was that we were simply tired. Rium would normally be soaring above us on her flying disc right now, but she had no more juice in her, so I was currently giving her a piggyback ride.

I was disappointed that we ended up not playing at the beach, but there would still be some time until the ship was complete. We could go back another day—just to play this time.

In any case, we still had too much of this lobster-ish meat remaining. I was at a loss as to what to do, but then Roni made a salt water brine and pickled them. This was apparently the first step to smoking them. When the girls were gathering information from the fishermen the other day, they also found a shop that would smoke meats for us. Honestly, I couldn’t have more reliable comrades.

We fortunately didn’t run into any monsters and returned to Neptunopolis safe and sound. After delivering the shells to Rondalan, we took a wagon full of nautilus meat out from the Unlimited Bath and brought it to a shop, whose staff were absolutely stunned by the sheer volume of meat. They were professionals, though. They quickly contacted their fellow tradesmen, distributed the volume between a few shops, and helped us smoke the meat. According to a shopkeeper who had been in the business for over thirty years, nautiluses were a luxury food here and he had never seen anyone bring in such a large haul before. After we told him it was due to bait Rondalan made for us, he immediately understood and even sympathized with us. You sure do have an established negative reputation in this city, Rondalan. Anyway, now that the nautilus issue was resolved, we had one more issue to take care of.

“So where should we stay for tonight?” Rulitora asked.

Yes, we had yet to decide on our lodgings for the night. We had been staying in the inn by the riverbank until now, but because we had expected to take several days to hunt the nautiluses, we’d already checked out. We could stay inside the Unlimited Bath as a last resort, but then we’d have to cook our own dinner. I wanted to find an inn that served food.

“How about the auction house, then?”

“Ugh, why do we have to climb all the way up there?” Mark objected to Clena’s suggestion.

To Clena’s dismay, I agreed. The auction house that Pardoe and Shakova were staying at right now was halfway across the city. If we started walking right now, we wouldn’t arrive until after sunset.

“Um, Touya. How about that inn over there?” Rakti was pointing toward a tall building with lights scattered all around it, looming in the evening sky. That was the “Maiden of the Roaring Waves” that Cosmos’ party was staying in.

“That sure is close... but it looks expensive,” Roni commented. She was expressing the sentiments of a middle-class citizen, and I agreed. I got nervous just looking at it, since it was clearly both high-class and pricey.

But after fighting such a hard battle today, it wouldn’t hurt to splurge a little. I wanted to rest up for a few days.

“Alright, let’s stay there. The princess is staying there too, so they must have some pretty good room service.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just let me take responsibility at times like these.”

And thus we picked the Maiden of the Roaring Waves for our stay. Roni, Rakti, and Crissa would normally start preparing our dinner around now, but I wanted to give them a break tonight.

The closer we got to the building, the more extravagant it seemed. The Maiden of the Roaring Waves was an elaborate building five stories tall, sporting a design reminiscent of the inns back in my old world. No, I should call them hotels.

The sun had already set, so the lights spilling from the windows made the building look like a giant tree bearing fruits of light. The architecture inside wasn’t as grand as the auction house, but still plenty refined. Several guests were inside the lobby when we entered. There was an elite and his bodyguards. He might have been a tradesman visiting this country.

I was worried that they wouldn’t have any more rooms left, but we managed to book a suite. It wasn’t exactly a VIP suite, but it was still a classy one with several amenities. The room was actually for 10 people, but better roomy than cramped. There was a sofa and table in the center of the spacious room. The whole place was very ornate, as flower-themed decorations were installed all around. There was a scenic window at the far side of the room, which looked out to both the ocean and the city. The room was worth the price for this view alone.

“Wow, what a wonderful room! This reminds me of a noble family’s mansion!” Clena exclaimed.

“Oh yeah, you were the daughter of a noble. Though you entered a haggling war with the old man at the smoked meat shop earlier...”

“S-So what?”

“Nothing. You’re reliable, and you scored some points with me for that.”

“...I see.” She grew silent, then looked away from me with her cheeks red. How cute.

I wasn’t teasing her, of course. That really was what I thought of her.

In situations like these, Rakti would jump on to me and have me baby her. Roni would start grinning and act a little more boldly around me than usual. Rium’s expression would remain unchanged, but she would cling on to me and not let go. However, Clena was never honest with herself and put on a tough act. She was oddly demanding in that sense. She found it too embarrassing to be pampered, so her actions would start leaning in the opposite direction.

“Hurry up and change, Touya! Restaurants around here are strict with their dress code! This country isn’t so bad about it, but you can’t go around looking all slovenly like that, either! Come on, I’m picking your outfit!”

Yeah, she would start acting like this. She was trying to hide it, but her cheeks were still red. According to Roni, she had always been like this. In any case, I hadn’t learned about formal dress etiquette yet, so for now I should just follow her orders. I opened the door to the Unlimited Bath and stepped inside, then immediately felt that something was off.

“Um, Sir Touya? Has it gotten bigger in here?” Roni murmured as she peered inside from behind me.

Yes, the Unlimited Bath had gotten even larger. The sensation just now was due to the longer distance between the door beside me and the door that lead into the actual building inside. I looked to my left and right and noticed that the space inside had grown larger overall.

“Well, we did kill 300 monsters...” Rulitora said thoughtfully as he looked over my head.

Oh yeah, the Bath must have leveled up again after fighting off the swarm of nautiluses. That was only natural after defeating over 300 of them. I wasn’t the only one who had fought them, but my Blazing Dance alone must have killed about 100 of them.

“...Hey everyone, I know you’re tired, but let’s check up on everything inside.”

“I’ll check out the fire altar.”

“I’ll go with you, Marky.”

“I’ll inspect the building’s surroundings.”

Mark and Crissa went left, then Rulitora went right. I’d leave the garden area to them.

The rest of us opened the sliding door with a rattle to check inside. The building itself appeared to have grown larger. I could tell since the items inside never moved even though the walls would. For example, there was now some space between the magic bookshelf and the wall it had been set against. Rium ran to the sink on the right, turned the faucet, and made sure water was flowing from it.

“...We have hot water.”

“I’ll go check the washa masheen.”

“Nothing seems to be wrong in the kitchen.”

Roni went to look at the washing machine, and then Rakti trotted back to report on the Goddess of Fire’s kitchen. Alright, I should check inside the tatami-floored room and the cedar wood bath.

“Wait, what’s that?” Then I noticed something strange right before my eyes.

“Hey, Touya. What’s that door...?”

In between the two doors I was able to check was a brand new door. A plain-looking doorknob was attached to it. On its right was a sliding door that led to the tatami-floored room, and on its left was a frosted glass door that led to the changing room. So where did this door in the center lead to?

“I can detect sister Light’s powers from beyond there.”

“The Goddess of Light, huh...” I opened the door and found something nostalgic, in a sense.

“...What’s this?”

“It’s a toilet...”

“Wait, really?”

Yes, behind this new door was a toilet. It was even one of the modern-style ones with a Western design. The toilet sat inside a room that was neither too narrow nor too spacious.

This world did have a plumbing system, but the toilets themselves were very different. The standard ones were stone benches with a hole in the middle. They came in ceramic too, but the designs were largely the same. Clena and the others must have been astonished at this comparatively simple yet efficient design.

“Er, so even if this is a toilet, why are the Goddess of Light’s powers emanating from it?” Clena asked, unable to reason her way through it.

“Huh? Is that weird?” However, Rakti cocked her head with a blank stare in reply. Well, I had to take Clena’s side here...

But then Rakti swept our suspicions away with her next words.

“But aren’t the essences of sister Light purity and cleanliness? All her powers up until now have helped keep you clean and tidy.”

“Clean and tidy...” I looked around us.

Clean and tidy. A bath, a sink, a washing machine, and now, a toilet. Oh, she was right.

“So does sending stuff down the drain count as purification, then...?”

Why was the Goddess of Light’s gift a bath? That was indeed a question I had harbored in the past. But now I understood—her true intent wasn’t to grant me hot water, but to wash impurities away. Thinking about it that way, all the new features of my gift complied with the Goddess of Light’s true essence. In other words, all the features of her gift had to do with hygiene.

“I-Is the Goddess of Light fine with just that?” It looked like Clena was still dubious. She might have been thinking about this in the context of this world’s toilets.

I looked inside and found a control panel lined with buttons beside the toilet, as I expected. They were buttons to control the bidet, as well as a few other neat features.

“Clena, Rakti, look at this.”

“Look at what?”

“Huh? The buttons?”

Neither of them knew what the buttons were for, but they were familiar with the control panel inside the bathing room, so they could at least tell that this was something similar.

“This is from my world, so let me teach you how to use it.”

“...In that case, let’s get the others over here.”

And so I explained to Clena, Rakti, Roni, and Rium how to use a bidet toilet. Of course I only explained orally—they would have to figure out the rest themselves.

“...And that’s about it. Do you all understand?”

“Uhhh...”

“I don’t really get it, but... maybe?”

The girls only gave me confused stares after my brief lesson. Rium was the sole girl with her eyes glistening. This might have been one of the few things that I couldn’t explain in words.

“...I guess we have no choice but to try it out for real. This bidet toilet, I mean.”

“W-Will you be okay, Lady Clena?”

“Don’t worry, Roni. I trust Touya about this.”

“I trust him too, but...”

“Er, it’s not going to kill you or anything.” They ignored my remark, wallowing in a somehow tragic aura.

“In that case, I’ll...”

“No, Rium. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Let me handle it.”

It was nothing to be so afraid of, but I guess that was another culture gap between our two worlds. I glanced over at Rakti, who returned me a troubled smile. As the Goddess of Darkness, she could tell that it was nothing dangerous, but she also had yet to understand it enough to declare that everything would be fine. I had no choice, then. I might as well shut my mouth and let the girls figure this one out. Clena ended up being the one to test it first. She entered the room by herself.

“Hyaan?!” She closed the door, and not a minute later, let out a bewildered yelp that we could hear from outside.

A moment later, she slammed the door open and jumped out with her panties still halfway down her legs. Or rather, she’d failed to pull them back up in her frenzied state.

“T-T-T-T-T-T-Touya! What in the world?! What the heck is that?! It surprised me!!”

“I wouldn’t know how to describe it... a purifier, I suppose?”

“Don’t get smart with me!!”

“P-Please calm down, Lady Clena! You haven’t pulled them back up yet! You’re exposing yourself!”

“Yeah, just calm down and pull your panties back up.”

After Roni and I finally pointed it out, Clena went back inside the room red-faced, rearranged herself, and came back out.

“W-Well, I at least know that this thing has some powerful purification effects!” She said in a shrill voice, her face red to her ears.

“...Can I try it or not?” Rium stared at her and asked.

“...Go ahead, I guess.” Clena turned her head away in embarrassment and replied.

It looked like the girls finally accepted the Unlimited Bath’s latest feature. Maybe there were still a few things left to point out, but I decided not to think too hard about it. The Bath became more convenient—that was all.

According to Rulitora’s report later, a building resembling a public restroom had popped up at the back side of the outer garden. The toilets in there ranged in size from big enough for a sand lizardman to use, and small enough for the ketolts. The Goddess of Light had even taken my companions into consideration. I’d better offer her my gratitude when I meet her in my dreams tonight.