Chapter 79: Cowardice

Chapter 79: Cowardice

The room was dimly lit as Chen Li opened the door and came in, her face etched with exhaustion.

"Xitong?" She left her high heels at the door, her heels were rubbed raw and blistered, limping as she walked.

"Xitong, are you home?" Ignoring the pain in her feet, she pulled open the curtains, then pushed open the bedroom door, where she saw a figure curled up on the windowsill with his arms wrapped around his knees, as if she weren't even there.

Chen Li walked over: "If you're home, why aren't you answering? I sent you so many messages, and you haven't replied to a single one. Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

Chen Xitong rested his head against the window, staring out at the sky, saying nothing.

Chen Li was silent for a moment, then sat wearily on the bed: "Gu Hansheng pulled his investment from Tuotu. The damage is incalculable. I finally found a foreign company willing to work with us, negotiated for days, and yesterday they suddenly backed out. If things don't turn around within a month, we might have to file for bankruptcy."

Only then did Chen Xitong turn to look at her, not the least bit surprised. Back then, Gu Hansheng had only taken over Chen Li's mess because of Zhao Yu. Since he knew Chen Li had treated Zhao Yu badly, he naturally pulled out.

What he'd gained by using Zhao Yu, he ultimately lost because of Zhao Yu. After all that running around, it all came to nothing in the end.

"Are we going to be in debt?" he asked.

Chen Li nodded.

Once you're buried in debt, it's hard to make a comeback.

"Are you still in contact with Xiao Yu?" Chen Li hesitated for a moment: "Could he maybe put in a good word for us?"

"He's already had a falling out with Mr. Gu."

Chen Li fell silent. She'd held onto a faint hope when she said that, but deep down she knew that even if he could help, Zhao Yu would absolutely never help her again.

In the past, she had countless times forced Zhao Yu to submit to Gu Hansheng, burning through the last shred of affection between them, until mother and son became enemies. Zhao Yu hated her—maybe hated her to the bone.

Chen Xitong added: "Zhao Lianfeng is back in the country."

Chen Li froze, then immediately stood up and asked nervously: "Did he go after you?"

"He went to see my brother."

"How is he?"

"He got stabbed. He's in the hospital."

"Which hospital?!"

"Yikang Hospital."

Chen Xitong watched her hurry off with a hint of envy. Knowing full well that Zhao Yu despised her, she still had the guts to go see him, while he couldn't even bring himself to pick up Zhao Yu's calls.

He looked at the phone on the table—there were several missed calls, all from Zhao Yu.

...

Zhao Yu couldn't get through to Chen Xitong, so he had to ask Zhou Lan, only to find out Zhou Lan had quit a while back and didn't know what was going on either.

He chatted with Zhou Lan a bit longer and found out he'd switched to another company.

Zhao Yu didn't tell Zhou Lan about his injury because he didn't want to worry him. They hadn't been talking long before Fang Yuming's voice cut in, asking why he still wasn't off the phone.

Zhou Lan covered the receiver and mumbled something vague, then sighed and said: "I'll ask Director Chen's new assistant about Xitong and get back to you."

"Thanks."

Every time Zhao Yu met Zhou Lan or called him, Fang Yuming was always right there, like he was glued to Zhou Lan's side. He sometimes worried Zhou Lan couldn't handle that almost obsessive clinging, but things between them were better than he'd imagined.

Was Fang Yuming a good guy? Somehow, Zhao Yu found himself worrying about Zhou Lan.

Before long, two police officers arrived to ask Zhao Yu about the incident. Zhao Lianfeng's case had been officially filed, and facing the officers' questions, Zhao Yu's answers were watertight.

Zhao Lianfeng claimed he hadn't stabbed anyone, but his fingerprints were all over the knife, and surveillance showed him lunging at Zhao Yu and grabbing his throat first—the odds were stacked against him.

Meanwhile, at the service desk on the first floor, Chen Li was desperately begging the nurse to tell her Zhao Yu's room number, but since Zhao Yu had refused visitors, the nurse could only ask her to leave.

The two officers came downstairs, chatting: "A father trying to kill his own son—who does that..."

Chen Li immediately caught the tail end of their conversation and hurried after them: "Excuse me! Are you talking about Zhao Lianfeng?"

The officer asked: "And who might you be?"

"I'm Zhao Lianfeng's ex-wife, Zhao Yu's mother. Is Zhao Yu okay? How is he?"

"Zhao Yu is fine, nothing serious. What do you know about the case? Do you have any information to provide?"

Chen Li shook her head. No one had told her that Zhao Lianfeng had returned. Such a huge thing had happened, and even Chen Xitong had kept it from her.

The two officers exchanged a glance, seemingly puzzled that she, as Zhao Yu's mother, knew nothing at all.

They didn't reveal more information to Chen Li, so she could only go back to the nurse at the service desk. The nurse had to call upstairs to confirm again, only to receive the same answer: visitation refused.

"I'm really sorry, but the patient still refuses. Please go back."

Chen Li grew anxious: "But I'm his mother! How can a mother be barred from visiting her own child?"

"It's not that we're stopping you—it's that the patient doesn't want to see you."

"Give me the phone—I have something to say to him!"

"I'm sorry, I really can't..."

A woman waiting nearby to ask a question couldn't help but chime in: "Don't you have your own son's number? Why are you making things hard for this young nurse? Your son is hospitalized and doesn't even want to see you—that's a pretty failed mother."

Chen Li's blood rushed to her face, and she turned red with anger: "And who are you? What right do you have to judge me? Don't spout opinions when you don't know the full story! It's not your place to evaluate me!"

"Oh my! What more is there to know? My son would never treat me like that!"

"You—!" Chen Li, struck where it hurt, flew into a rage.

Seeing the conflict escalate, the nurse quickly stepped in to mediate, and after much persuasion, managed to calm both women down.

Chen Li's chest heaved as she walked out of the hospital gate, and she couldn't hold back her tears.

That woman was right—she had failed too miserably. If she had been kinder to Zhao Yu from the start, she wouldn't be barred from even entering his hospital room, with not a single caring word she could say to him.

...

Knowing that Chen Li had come, Zhao Yu couldn't be bothered to acknowledge her, but not being able to reach Chen Xitong by phone worried him. Fortunately, Zhou Lan said Chen Xitong was fine and had been at home all along.

When Zhuang Shubai came to his room that evening, he said: "Dr. Zhuang, lend me your phone."

Zhuang Shubai handed him the phone, and just then a message popped up: "Good big brother, when are we grabbing a meal? My treat."

Zhao Yu awkwardly handed the phone back to him: "I accidentally saw your message. You should go ahead and reply first."

Zhuang Shubai glanced at it. "It's my sister."

"Oh, I thought..."

"You thought I was a player?" Zhuang Shubai chuckled.

"Nah, I just didn't wanna hold you up." Zhao Yu forced a laugh.

After that kiss, neither of them brought it up again. Knowing Gu Hansheng was right outside the door, Zhao Yu couldn't focus, and afterward he felt really guilty toward Zhuang Shubai.

If Zhuang Shubai had asked to take things further, or even put a label on it, Zhao Yu might not have known how to say no.

But Zhuang Shubai never brought it up. Zhao Yu hadn't pushed him away, but he hadn't kissed him back either. You can't fake your heart racing, and you can't fake it not racing either.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed. Zhuang Shubai wasn't the type to blame anyone for his own feelings. He was stubbornly perfectionistic about his feelings for Zhao Yu—no pity, no settling, only real affection.

If he couldn't have that affection, he'd keep doing everything he could, hoping that one day Zhao Yu's heart might lean toward his.

After texting Zhuang Peiying back, Zhao Yu called Chen Xitong.

"...Hello? Who's this?"

Hearing Chen Xitong's voice, Zhao Yu perked up. "It's me. Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

Chen Xitong was silent.

Zhao Yu said, "What's wrong? Did what happened that day scare you? I wasn't seriously hurt, just lost some blood. Don't worry. What Zhao Lianfeng did has nothing to do with you."

"Brother, I..." Chen Xitong hesitated. He'd assumed Zhao Yu already knew everything he'd done, but it didn't sound like he was mad.

Should he just come clean?

Chen Xitong hesitated again—he still didn't have the guts. If only Zhao Yu never found out the truth. He was willing to live with the guilt, spending the rest of his life making up for what he'd done.

An hour after the call, someone finally knocked on the door. Zhao Yu looked up. "You finally decided to... Assistant Wu?"

He'd been expecting Chen Xitong, but it was Assistant Wu who walked in.

"Mr. Zhao, sorry to bother you." Assistant Wu stepped into the ward and handed him a document: "Mr. Gu asked me to hand this to you."

"What is it?"

"You'll see when you read it."

"Stop being cryptic. What does Gu Hansheng want? Just say it."

"Mr. Gu doesn't have any ulterior motives. He just thinks this involves you, so you have the right to know. Whatever you decide after reading it, he won't interfere."

Zhao Yu took the document with skepticism and opened the first page. His fingers went still.

...

Chen Xitong paced downstairs for a long time. Only when it got late did he finally pull himself together and head up.

The hospital ward was quiet, and Zhao Yu's room was silent too—he seemed to be asleep. Chen Xitong slipped in quietly, only to find Zhao Yu wasn't actually asleep. He opened his eyes when he heard him.

When Zhao Yu's gaze cut into him, Chen Xitong's heart suddenly skipped a beat.

"Brother, you're still up." He set a gift bag by the bed. "I got you some American ginseng, and some other stuff you might like..."

"Is there anything you want to say to me?" Zhao Yu cut him off.

"Oh." Chen Xitong's eyes darted away. "I told Mom you're at this hospital. She seems to have come to find you."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

Zhao Yu looked at Chen Xitong. That short haircut had been for him. He still remembered the determined look on Chen Xitong's face that day—it had been kind of cute.

He suddenly felt deeply disappointed in himself. He'd been fooled by Chen Xitong once, and still managed to fall for the same trick again.

He tossed the document onto the table in front of Chen Xitong. "Since you've got nothing to say, read this yourself."

Chen Xitong opened the document, and his face went pale instantly.

Zhao Yu continued, "Having someone tail me, bringing Zhao Lianfeng back to the country, and egging him on to extort money from Gu Hansheng—did you do all of that?"

Chen Xitong trembled, dropping the document to the floor. When he looked up and met those ice-cold eyes, panic hit him. He stammered, "Brother... I-I was wrong. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It was just... because... I was scared... but I know I was wrong now..."

"You know you were wrong but said nothing. Do you think I'm that easy to fool?" Zhao Yu laughed bitterly. "If I'd known this would happen, I never would have opened the door for you that day."

They had lived together, spent every day in each other's company for so long. Chen Xitong could have confessed at any time, but he had hidden it from start to finish—worming his way in, playing the innocent.

The thought that he had laughed and joked with Chen Xitong made Zhao Yu sick to his stomach.

The irony was that even this morning, he had been worried about Chen Xitong not answering his calls.

Chen Xitong hung his head, trembling with red-rimmed eyes, tears the size of beans falling one after another onto his shoe tips.

"Leave. Don't come find me again. I don't want to see you." Zhao Yu's heart ached with a dull soreness. After he had begun to care about Chen Xitong again, discovering the betrayal hurt far more than if he'd known from the start.

But life had taught him the most painful lesson: don't linger for people who aren't worth it. Even if it hurt, he had to clean this false affection out of his life.

Chen Xitong choked out, "I'm sorry, brother. I'm really sorry..."

No matter how many times he said sorry, Zhao Yu wouldn't respond with a single word.

He had had so many chances to tell the truth. Even just now, Zhao Yu had given him one last opportunity. Yet he had still chosen to hide it.

Zhao Yu turned his back, unwilling to even hear his crying.