Volume 2, Chapter 103 – Unwilling to Wake Up

Song Shiyuan was immersed in a stretch of darkness.

An indescribable dull pain came from all over her body.

Song Shiyuan felt as if she had been torn to pieces, then reassembled again.

Her entire body didn’t feel like her own.

However, this was merely physical pain. How could it compare to even one ten-thousandth of her mental anguish?

Drowning in this darkness at this moment, Song Shiyuan even hoped she would never wake up again, that she would simply drown like this in the darkness.

As long as her divine consciousness scattered, as long as her will completely perished, she would no longer feel pain.

Just like the little fox demon at that time, forgetting everything, severing the past. That way, she could stop suffering.

But… but…

At that time, the little fox demon hadn’t truly forgotten the past either.

“Little fox demon…”

Thinking of this, Song Shiyuan felt her heart twist with pain again.

Could a person truly choose to forget all the past themselves, letting twilight’s weeping rain wash away all suffering?

Perhaps only death’s eternal sleep could bury everything.

Thinking this, Song Shiyuan no longer resisted the darkness, allowing that boundless silence to envelop her, sliding bit by bit down into the abyss of void and extinction.

Letting the darkness dismantle her soul, letting her consciousness slowly fade away in the void.

Song Shiyuan, once again, chose to escape.

In the silent darkness, Song Shiyuan’s self-mocking laughter echoed.

“Song Shiyuan… you really are a coward.”

“Timid and pathetic… you don’t even have the courage to face death directly!”

No… it’s not like that…

Song Shiyuan could completely face her own death calmly.

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As a living being, fearing death was instinct.

As a sword cultivator, riding the wind on a sword, eliminating demons throughout the land, life and death were impermanent, extinction and rebirth flowing in cycles.

Facing life and death, though there was reverence, there was no fear.

How could Song Shiyuan possibly be so cowardly as to lack even the courage to face death?

She just…

“You cannot accept her death, so you chose to escape… isn’t that right? Coward.”

Song Shiyuan couldn’t refute it.

As a sword cultivator, her sect had already taught her to learn to accept death.

Song Shiyuan’s comprehension, talent, and temperament had always satisfied her sect greatly.

She was the kind of talented disciple that every sword sect most hoped to see.

However, her sect had only taught her how to calmly face and accept death. They had never taught her how to face the helplessness of a loved one dying miserably before her, how to accept the pain of feeling as if her heart had been hollowed out.

Song Shiyuan had always thought that among her peers, her temperament was acceptable.

But until the little fox demon used the Pure Heart Sword to end herself right in front of her…

Until… the little fox demon’s final body was shattered to pieces before her eyes.

Not even bones remained. The little fox demon left nothing behind.

Only then did she discover how weak she truly was.

The temperament she thought acceptable was laughably fragile.

When facing all of this, she discovered she could do nothing.

“I can’t do anything…”

“I couldn’t save her…”

“I don’t even have the ability to avenge her…”

“I can’t kill Song Shixuan…”

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“I can’t change the sword sect’s attitude toward fox demons either…”

“To the sword sect… fox demons are evil beings that bring chaos to the world and must be eliminated…”

“But… the truth clearly isn’t like that…”

“The sword sect has never truly understood fox demons.”

“What should I do?”

“What can I even do…”

“I tried… I risked my life… but still couldn’t accomplish anything…”

“I’ve wronged her… I couldn’t save her… I even lied to her…”

“I was the one who pushed her toward the abyss of death…”

“I… don’t have the face to see her…”

It would be better to… just end it all here.

After all… death was now the simplest choice she could make.

Soul self-destruction, consciousness self-annihilation. Everything about Song Shiyuan would disappear along with the past she was unwilling to face.

“So… Song Shiyuan truly is a coward.”

So what if she was?

“The little fox demon… actually gave everything for a coward.”

“How lamentable…”

“Song Shiyuan, you’re not just a coward… you’re an extremely selfish coward!”

“You didn’t just choose to escape!”

“Your choice also completely abandons everything the little fox demon fought for with her life.”

“She could sacrifice the fox clan for you, sacrifice righteousness, sacrifice her life…”

“And you just huddle in the darkness, feeling sorry for yourself.”

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“Are you worthy of her sacrifice?”

I’m not worthy.

“Are you worthy of her devotion, worthy of her love for you?”

I’m not worthy.

“Song Shiyuan, you chose to escape, unwilling to face her death, unwilling to bear the pain… yet you trampled her devotion, trampled her feelings for you, beneath your feet.”

“Song Shiyuan… is this your love for her?”

Self-righteous, self-satisfied, and selfish love.

Could this… be called love?

This wasn’t love at all!

This was enmity! This was hatred!

This was betrayal!

“So… Song Shiyuan, how long will you keep escaping?”

“To what degree must you trample her love and devotion for you before you’re satisfied?”

Song Shiyuan, when will you finally wake up?

I…

…

“Song Shiyuan?! Song Shiyuan?!”

“Can you hear me?!”

Song Shiyuan vaguely heard a familiar voice by her ear.

This voice kept repeatedly calling her name.

Song Shiyuan furrowed her brow.

A bit… noisy.

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“What’s going on… I clearly just saw her finger move?”

“Her pulse and breathing have clearly returned to completely normal…”

“Normally speaking, she should have already woken up by now?”

“Immortal Venerable… what do you think?”

Immortal Venerable? Who?

Song Shiyuan was puzzled.

She felt her eyelids were very heavy, and not a single part of her body was comfortable.

Especially her internal organs and meridians. The spiritual power within her meridians was a complete tangled mess.

Uncontrolled spiritual power ran wild through her riddled meridians.

Moreover, Song Shiyuan felt that her internal organs and meridians had inexplicably opened up many unfamiliar areas.

In those unfamiliar meridians, there was a refined and stable spiritual energy slowly flowing along routes completely foreign to Song Shiyuan.

Even without Song Shiyuan’s control, this spiritual energy was circulating on its own, gradually increasing her cultivation.

Song Shiyuan didn’t understand what was happening.

What she sensed had already exceeded her understanding. This was a blind spot in her knowledge.

At this moment, Song Shiyuan heard another familiar voice.

Not the chattering noise from just before, but a clear, cold yet gentle voice.

The voice was very pleasant. Just hearing it, Song Shiyuan could imagine how stunningly beautiful the woman speaking must be.

“Little Shiyuan’s body has indeed completely returned to normal. Yet she keeps refusing to wake up… it seems more like she herself is unwilling to wake.”

“Just what has happened?”

Song Shiyuan recognized this voice.

“It’s… Master!”