Volume 3, Chapter 207 – Don’t Push Your Luck, Little Sister

Chi Xiyan took a simple glance and roughly understood what had happened.

This little girl, like her, didn’t like being touched by others.

Chi Xiyan could understand that feeling.

However, looking at the girl shrinking in the bedding, trembling, her rejection was expressed far more intensely than Chi Xiyan’s.

Chi Xiyan felt disgust and aversion, but this girl was clearly closer to fear.

She feared other people’s approach, feared the maids’ service?

Why?

Last night, when Chi Xiyan helped this girl clean her body, she hadn’t shown such resistance.

This girl was delicate and frail, with no unsightly defects on her body.

Not only that, as a fellow woman, Chi Xiyan couldn’t find any fault with this girl’s body.

She was beautiful, whether dressed or undressed.

The only regret was the hideous wound on her neck, which destroyed the original aesthetic.

The fear and rejection she showed toward strangers couldn’t be innate. It could only be acquired.

From the bits of information this girl revealed last night, she had become this way because a woman from an aristocratic family had severely hurt her.

Chi Xiyan couldn’t deduce what this girl had experienced, but she could see that woman had left scars in her heart that were difficult to erase.

“…” Chi Xiyan lowered her eyes, then looked into the room again.

“Zhizhi…”

“You need to get used to being served by maids.” Chi Xiyan gently persuaded Lu Zhuxin. “I don’t know what happened to you.”

“Perhaps someone left an indelible shadow on you, making you feel afraid.”

“But you can’t keep deliberately avoiding this sort of thing because of that…”

“Escaping is useless. It won’t help you at all.”

“Zhizhi, you should learn to overcome it.”

“I believe you can do it.”

Chi Xiyan didn’t think Yu Lizhi was a timid, weak girl.

On the contrary, she was very strong. Stronger than Chi Xiyan had imagined.

An ordinary person who’d had their throat slashed by an assassin would have been scared out of their wits long ago.

But this girl’s performance exceeded Chi Xiyan’s expectations.

Two consecutive assassination attempts hadn’t made her scared of being assassinated

In fact, aside from her fear of other people’s contact, this girl showed no other abnormal behavior.

Her performance was unexpectedly calm. As if she hadn’t taken being attacked to heart at all.

However, one thing puzzled Chi Xiyan.

All women under heaven loved beauty, and Chi Xiyan was no exception.

If Chi Xiyan’s own neck had been slashed open with such a large cut, she absolutely couldn’t have remained this calm.

But the girl before her seemed to completely disregard this matter.

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From beginning to end, she had never asked Chi Xiyan whether the wound on her neck would leave a scar.

The wound’s position was extremely tricky, difficult to conceal on the neck.

For ordinary people, such a serious scar was unlikely to completely fade.

However, Chi Xiyan vaguely felt this girl didn’t care at all whether that ugly scar would remain on her neck.

Was it because this girl completely trusted Chi Xiyan’s medical skills, or did she truly not care about the potential scarring on her neck?

“Sister.” Lu Zhuxin poked her head out from the bedding. She looked at Chi Xiyan from afar, pursing her lips. “Sister… I’m sorry… I don’t want to disappoint you…”

“But I… can’t do it…”

“I’m sorry.”

Chi Xiyan frowned. “You did it last night, didn’t you? Why is it different when the maids are here?”

“Because…” Lu Zhuxin’s eyes wandered. “Because the one who helped me last night was you, sister.”

After hearing this, Chi Xiyan’s brows knit even tighter.

She couldn’t understand the difference between herself and others. Why could this girl accept her but not accept others?

Could it be that it really was as she’d speculated last night?

This girl had other thoughts about her?

Thinking of this, Chi Xiyan immediately shook her head. “No, I can’t help you every time.”

“Sister.” Lu Zhuxin said, “I don’t want to trouble you every time either…”

“But sister, if you want me to adapt immediately, I really can’t do it…”

“Sister, can you let me adapt slowly…”

“Starting with you first, then gradually accepting others.”

Chi Xiyan frowned and asked, “You want to take it step by step?”

“No… this won’t work.” Chi Xiyan shook her head.

“Sister, why not?” Lu Zhuxin asked.

Why? Chi Xiyan also wanted to know why.

Previously, Chi Xiyan’s unwillingness to be touched by others stemmed solely from her obsession with cleanliness.

But after helping this girl bathe last night, Chi Xiyan kept feeling this girl had impure intentions.

Initially, it was because of martial artist Lin Xiu’s two warnings.

But Chi Xiyan hadn’t detected any disturbance from the Dao contract.

This indicated this girl truly hadn’t developed treacherous thoughts toward her.

Then where did that faint unease in Chi Xiyan’s heart come from?

Was it really as this girl said, that because Chi Xiyan knew Yu Lizhi had once liked girls, she instinctively felt repulsed?

Last night in the bath, this girl asked Chi Xiyan to help wash her front.

Had Chi Xiyan been overthinking, or had this girl deliberately said that?

Chi Xiyan couldn’t be certain.

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Only after thinking about this girl’s psychological orientation being different from that of ordinary people did Chi Xiyan subconsciously interpret this girl’s words and actions in that direction.

Then Chi Xiyan fled in panic.

Thinking back afterward, Chi Xiyan felt she might have overreacted.

Perhaps this girl didn’t have such thoughts?

After all, she was injured. If she moved her arms carelessly, it would inevitably pull at her wound. So making such a request was also reasonable and proper.

These thoughts, Chi Xiyan naturally wouldn’t say aloud.

“Zhizhi… I told you last night, too.” Chi Xiyan’s eyes flickered slightly. She paused before saying, “I have my own difficulties too.”

Lu Zhuxin looked at the changing expressions on Chi Xiyan’s face from afar.

She understood the emotions showing on Chi Xiyan’s face.

It seemed her efforts last night had been effective.

Chi Xiyan, this straight woman, had already begun deliberately avoiding Yu Lizhi, this girl who liked the same sex.

Presumably, Lu Zhuxin’s behavior last night had frightened Chi Xiyan, this straight woman.

However, this was precisely the effect Lu Zhuxin wanted.

This deliberate avoidance could more effectively draw Chi Xiyan’s attention to Yu Lizhi.

Deliberate avoidance would make Chi Xiyan constantly mindful of her distance from Yu Lizhi. Every interaction with Yu Lizhi would make her think about whether her previous actions had crossed the line.

At the same time, it would also make her continuously pay attention to Yu Lizhi’s reactions, making her care, making her recall, speculating whether Yu Lizhi had developed improper thoughts about her.

This was exactly what Lu Zhuxin wanted. She would deliberately control the distance between Yu Lizhi and Chi Xiyan.

Maintaining a sense of elusive closeness, keeping this relationship at a boundary that could easily lead to misunderstandings, yet was actually quite normal.

This way, every time Chi Xiyan became suspicious of Yu Lizhi’s intentions, she could naturally overthrow her previous suspicions.

If she could keep their relationship in this state of elusive closeness for a long time, gaining Chi Xiyan’s attention beyond that given to others, Lu Zhuxin could, like boiling a frog in warm water, imperceptibly carve the mark she wanted into Chi Xiyan’s heart.

The so-called “love grows over time” was exactly like this.

Of course, this was the most ideal situation Lu Zhuxin could imagine.

After all, when she actually began implementing it, Lu Zhuxin herself couldn’t predict all the variables.

After silently chuckling to herself, Lu Zhuxin continued speaking.

“Sister, I don’t quite understand.”

“Sister dislikes contact with me, is it the same reason I dislike contact with the maids?”

This question was actually asked knowingly.

Of course, Chi Xiyan didn’t know how much Lu Zhuxin understood of her.

So she didn’t think in that direction either.

“Zhizhi, it’s not what you think…” Chi Xiyan said. “Although I also don’t like others getting close, it’s not because of them, but because of me.”

Lu Zhuxin laughed inwardly as she continued pressing. “Then, sister…”

“Are you also like Zhizhi, trying hard to overcome this psychological rejection?”

Chi Xiyan was at a loss for words.

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Overcome her cleanliness obsession?

She had never thought about such a thing.

Helping this girl bathe last night was because of how circumstances unfolded, and in the end she had no choice.

But now, faced with Yu Lizhi’s question, Chi Xiyan couldn’t say this directly.

As the elder sister, she should set an example.

If she herself hadn’t done something, how could she demand her younger sister do it?

“Yes.” Chi Xiyan said. “It’s precisely because of this that I discovered, as long as you try hard, it’s not impossible.”

This was the truth. Last night, Chi Xiyan indeed thought she couldn’t do it.

The discomfort in her psyche had escalated to its peak.

But in the end, Chi Xiyan still persevered.

After smelling the fresh fragrance from the young girl’s body, Chi Xiyan discovered this matter wasn’t as difficult as she’d imagined.

Moreover, because of that pleasant scent, Chi Xiyan found it quite enjoyable.

Persisting to the end, Chi Xiyan discovered not only did she not have that instinctive repulsion that had troubled her for so long, but she even felt refreshed and comfortable in body and mind.

Like a long-blocked passage suddenly being cleared, it felt refreshing.

After finishing, Chi Xiyan returned to her own room, and having always been a light sleeper, she even had a pleasant, happy dream.

Only the content of that dream was rather unspeakable.

Chi Xiyan comforted Lu Zhuxin, “Zhizhi, when you successfully break through a boundary you originally couldn’t break through, you’ll feel very happy, comfortable in body and mind.”

“Sister.” The young woman sitting on the bed’s bright eyes flickered slightly. “Since you’ve already done it with me,”

“Then why are you still so resistant to contact with me?”

Chi Xiyan was stumped again. She paused briefly, then said again, “I was just making an analogy, just an analogy!”

“So…” Lu Zhuxin tilted her head slightly. “Sister hasn’t done it either?”

Chi Xiyan couldn’t help but hold her forehead. “Sister, I really can’t win against you…”

This matter wasn’t at all what this girl thought.

Her unwillingness to be in contact with this girl wasn’t entirely because of her cleanliness obsession.

She was clearly worried about other things. These were fundamentally two different matters.

She was worried Yu Lizhi had other thoughts. She was worried Yu Lizhi, this girl who liked women, had developed some improper intentions toward her.

But if she truly said this reason aloud, it would make Chi Xiyan seem somewhat narcissistic and presumptuous.

After all, although Yu Lizhi had liked girls before, she truly hadn’t shown Chi Xiyan any outrageous intentions.

When Chi Xiyan helped Yu Lizhi bathe last night, Yu Lizhi hadn’t shown any abnormal reaction to her actions.

From beginning to end, Yu Lizhi behaved very normally.

If Yu Lizhi, this girl with problematic sexual orientation, truly had thoughts about her, how could she be so indifferent to her touch?

Liking someone might be easily denied verbally.

But heartbeat, breathing, these natural bodily reactions were very difficult to control.

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Moreover, Yu Lizhi was still an ordinary person without any cultivation.

Thinking carefully, everything was just Chi Xiyan’s excessive self-consciousness.

Chi Xiyan, perhaps she shouldn’t be so narcissistic as to misunderstand others liking her.

Moreover, this girl was a younger sister with blood ties to her.

Perhaps she shouldn’t overthink it.

Then having such suspicions, without evidence, she shouldn’t jump to conclusions.

Thinking of this, Chi Xiyan smiled helplessly.

She lifted her foot and walked into Yu Lizhi’s room.

Lu Zhuxin noticed Chi Xiyan’s subtle movement. Chi Xiyan’s thoughts and choices were basically as expected.

Chi Xiyan initially only willing to stand at the doorway, unwilling to enter, was because she was avoiding Yu Lizhi.

She worried Yu Lizhi truly had some thoughts about her.

And now, Chi Xiyan’s willingness to walk into Yu Lizhi’s room represented that she had temporarily convinced herself.

Hehe!

Lu Zhuxin laughed lightly in her heart, though her face still wore that innocent expression.

“Sister?”

“Zhizhi.” Chi Xiyan walked to Lu Zhuxin’s bedside.

She waved her hand, dismissing the two maids behind her. “Then let’s do as you said and take it step by step.”

“Really? Sister.” The young woman hiding in the bedding, a gleam of light passed through her eyes.

The fear and rejection she’d shown the two maids earlier also dissipated considerably at this moment.

Chi Xiyan watched this girl’s expression.

Her expression grew slightly solemn as she took in all the girl’s emotional changes.

She could clearly feel this girl’s emotions.

Last night, Chi Xiyan herself had retreated early. She had made assumptions beforehand.

What she observed couldn’t let her determine what Yu Lizhi’s thoughts about her were.

However, it didn’t matter.

More contact, more observation.

She could make new inferences.

If Yu Lizhi truly had improper thoughts about her.

Then she would need to reconsider her relationship with Yu Lizhi.

A sweet, shallow smile appeared on Chi Xiyan’s face.

“However.”

“Don’t push your luck.”

“Little sister.”