Volume 1, Chapter 41 – She’s Avoiding Me

Song Shiyuan crouched in the corner, arms wrapped around her knees.

She no longer remembered how long she had maintained this position.

One day, two days? Or three days?

She had no energy to care about such trivial details.

She only felt very tired. From the inside out, physically and mentally exhausted.

She didn’t remember how long she had cried.

Her eyes were sore. Perhaps already swollen from crying.

The constant pain emanating from her heart left her with no capacity to worry about time.

Had she cried for a day and a night? Or perhaps for two days and two nights?

Even now, Song Shiyuan didn’t understand why she was in such agony.

Was it merely because of guilt? Merely because of remorse?

Why did thinking of the little fox demon suffering such humiliation make her heart ache so much?

Why did thinking of the little fox demon’s miserable future life make her feel so distressed?

Whenever she recalled the little fox demon’s resolute yet agonized gaze as she left, Song Shiyuan felt her heart being cut by knives.

“Is it because… I like her?”

In the cold, lonely night, Song Shiyuan questioned herself.

She had always believed she could never fall for a fox demon, fall for someone of the same sex.

Strictly speaking, Song Shiyuan didn’t truly understand what it felt like to like someone.

Toward her elder brother Song Shixuan, she only had a vague, girlish sort of affection.

She had been able to confirm this affection only because the storybooks she’d read described the feelings of a sworn sister developing fondness for her good brother, and those descriptions matched her own feelings at the time.

Thus, she had confirmed that she had developed a trace of innocent feelings for her elder brother Song Shixuan that went against propriety.

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After becoming aware of this trace of emotion, she had always buried this feeling deep in her heart, something she could never speak of to others.

She didn’t know why she had developed such feelings. Even though her elder brother Song Shixuan was so outstanding, she shouldn’t have developed such emotions.

But from some unknown point in time, this trace of feeling had simply been born.

This sensation came without reason. Just like the male and female leads in storybooks, two completely mismatched people who would fall in love at first sight the moment they met.

Illogical, unreasonable, yet it had indeed been born.

But…

Only now did Song Shiyuan discover that the vague, bittersweet feelings she’d had paled in comparison to this pain that seemed to pierce through her heart meridians.

“If we go by the descriptions in those angst romance novels… when I feel this way, I’ve already fallen in love with that little fox demon without realizing it.”

Song Shiyuan’s face was bitter.

Storybooks were merely storybooks, mostly the fantasies of frustrated scholars.

But…

When the little fox demon resolutely turned and left.

When Song Shiyuan realized the little fox demon had confessed to her.

Song Shiyuan finally understood that she truly did like that little fox demon.

This was indisputable.

The surroundings were dark, yet before her eyes, the little fox demon’s sweet face seemed to appear.

The courtyard was silent, yet in her ears, she seemed to hear the little fox demon sweetly calling her “Sister.”

Clearly imprisoned, confined in this cold Fox Palace, yet what occupied Song Shiyuan’s heart was not her own freedom and safety, but that pure and sweet little fox demon.

Thinking of her voice and smile, thinking of her sweet pheromone scent, thinking of everything about her…

Thinking of her, wondering where she would go from here.

Yes, what could a little fox demon who could never bear children again, never cultivate again, do in the future?

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Would that cold and heartless World-Ending Fox Monarch continue to shelter her?

The little fox demon had said from the beginning that the Fox Monarch was sheltering her to give her as a female consort to a sword cultivator surnamed “Song.”

But the little fox demon had already been eternally marked. She had no way to dual cultivate with a pure yang sword cultivator anymore.

Then, having lost her usefulness, would that cruel Fox Monarch still keep the little fox demon?

The best outcome Song Shiyuan could imagine for the little fox demon was to leave the Fox Palace and go to the mortal world.

To live as an ordinary person, slowly raising her only child.

But as a fox demon with only early Qi Refining cultivation, could she protect herself in the mortal world?

All fox demons were beautiful, and the little fox demon possessed beauty that could topple cities. Even Song Shiyuan, a woman herself, had been moved by her.

However, in this cruel world, without the power to protect oneself, beauty was a sin.

The eternal mark repelled yang energy, preventing the little fox demon from dual cultivating with cultivator dao companions, but it couldn’t protect her from violation by mortals.

Song Shiyuan could almost imagine the little fox demon in the mortal world, coveted because of her beauty.

She would be bound by villains, her child killed, sold into a brothel, serving as the top courtesan receiving clients day and night.

Fallen into the dust, infected with serious disease.

Her whole body covered in red rashes, her skin festering, with no one caring about her.

Finally, wrapped in a worn straw mat, ending her lonely and miserable life.

Thinking of this, Song Shiyuan’s heart throbbed with pain, and a voice cried out in her mind.

No! Song Shiyuan, you can’t let her end up like this!!

A cracking sound startled Song Shiyuan awake.

The metal collar around her neck was reminding her that the restriction sealing the courtyard had been lifted.

“So I’ve been sitting here in a daze for seven days?”

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Song Shiyuan belatedly realized.

She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror across from her.

Dispirited and disheveled, like a ghost.

Where was even half the demeanor of a talented disciple of Lingxiao Sword Sect?

Becoming like this was her own fault.

But compared to the little fox demon’s suffering, her bedraggled appearance seemed extremely laughable.

“It’s all my fault. I should go find her and apologize properly.”

Song Shiyuan got up and left the house, heading straight for the little fox demon’s courtyard.

The courtyard where the little fox demon lived was directly across from Song Shiyuan’s, not far away.

However, when Song Shiyuan arrived at the courtyard entrance, she found the little fox demon’s courtyard gate tightly locked.

Inside the courtyard was quiet, as if no one was there.

Not seeing the little fox demon, Song Shiyuan felt dejected.

“Even if I saw her and apologized, what good would it do, Song Shiyuan?”

Song Shiyuan questioned herself in her heart.

“Would apologizing undo the consequences? Would apologizing save the little fox demon’s ruined life?”

The answer was no.

“Your so-called apology is just seeking self-comfort.”

“Seeking her forgiveness is just looking for an excuse to console yourself morally.”

“Song Shiyuan, you’re truly hypocritical, fake and affected.”

Song Shiyuan left in a daze.

…

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The next day, Song Shiyuan came to the little fox demon’s courtyard again.

The courtyard gate remained tightly closed.

“At the very least, I must see her once.”

“Even if she can’t forgive me, it’s what I deserve.”

Song Shiyuan stood outside the little fox demon’s courtyard, guarding the gate.

Sunrise, sunset.

A whole day passed, and the gate remained closed.

Song Shiyuan left in a daze again.

“The little fox demon really doesn’t want to see me…”

…

The third day.

When Song Shiyuan came to the courtyard again, she discovered that the courtyard gate was open, and many unfamiliar fox demons were moving things inside.

“What’s going on? Doesn’t this courtyard have an owner?”

Song Shiyuan stepped forward to ask.

One of the fox demons looked Song Shiyuan up and down.

“You’re Her Majesty’s female consort?”

“The fox demon who lived in this courtyard moved out last night.”

“Didn’t she tell you?”

Song Shiyuan felt lost.

“The little fox demon… she’s avoiding me.”