Bonus Chapter 1: Contradictions and Muscles
Bonus Chapter 1:
Contradictions and Muscles
“HEY YURI, can I ask you a small question?” asked Filia rather suddenly.
A few days had passed since the tournament and we’d picked up our brand-new clothes.
“A question? Oh, sure. You can ask an intellectual muscle man like myself anything, bring it on!” I replied. This was my chance to show off just how erudite I was! I was terribly eager.
“Yuri, you really are a musclehead, aren’t you?”
“H-hey. What’s this about? Don’t compliment me like that so suddenly.” It was making me downright bashful.
“No, I’m not complimenting you, I—well, whatever. Still, you are oddly intellectual, aren’t you?”
“Yep.” An intellectual muscle man, to be more precise. Though I guess you could, uh, just say “intellectual” and
get the point across. Eh, whatever! Wait, what were we talking about again?
Just as I started to spiral, Filia finally hit me with her question. “Simply put, Yuri…if you’re truly a musclehead, how could you be an intellectual? Aren’t those mutually exclusive?”
What, that was really it? Simple stuff. I released my muscles. “No, see, I’m a musclehead and an intellectual. Because I’ve trained.”
Oh yeah, check out these babies. Surely she could hear the muscles advocating together, every flex an unstoppable argument, echoing out across the room! Every single one of them an insightful intellectual!
“If you train,” I continued, “you can beat contradiction. That’s the amazing thing about muscles!”
“You can’t beat a rhetorical concept with muscles,” said Filia, “no matter how hard you train.”
Could she not hear the muscles sing? I guess I just hadn’t made enough effort yet. Even so…contradiction was an interesting word to use, huh?
“Filia, are you at that age where you want to use difficult words to show off? Did you just want to use the word ‘contradiction’ in a sentence?”
“But contradiction isn’t really a—oh, I get it. It a difficult word for you, Yuri, eh?”
Combo breaker and a counter! I’d intended to rile her up, but she turned it against me so effortlessly… What a blunder for an intellectual muscle man.
“Grr, w-well, that’s…”
When Filia saw me stammer, she grinned victoriously. She gently patted my head, then, with a look of overwrought affection on her face, said, “Aww, there, there, I’ll teach my little man how to study, okay?”
What a jerk! Acting so triumphant… “Ugh, whatever! I am too an intellectual muscle man! I don’t care what anyone says, because I am an intellectual muscle man!”
“Yep, yep, so amazing, so amazing. You’re a big stwong intellectual, aren’t you, Yuri? Wow, I wespect you soooo much!”
“Hey! Stop making fun of me!”
“Eh he he. Sorry, it’s just so irressistible sometimes.”
The sheer humiliation! What a loathsome personality…
Filia sighed. “Hmm, I suppose I did go a little too far there. As my way of apologizing, I’ll agree that you’re both a musclehead and an intellectual. You’ve convinced me, Yuri.”
“Really? Oh, thank you so so so so so much, Filia!”
I knew it all along, Filia really was a super great person after all!