Chapter 2: With Lightning Speed

Chapter 2:
With Lightning Speed

 

INSIDE THE INN, the air in the room was stagnant—all the windows and doors closed. Filia wasn’t looking at me at all, either. She kept staring at the floor. An unusual tension hung in the air.

“So, this is the end, huh…?” Filia muttered, gazing down.

“Can’t we just…start all over again?” I knew that was impossible, but I couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m…sorry, Yuri,” Filia replied in a detached, matter-of-fact way, like an admonishment. “This was what we’d decided in the beginning, right? So, I have no choice…tsk!”

She wanted to be detached, but every word grew more intense, as if her emotions were overflowing.

“But, this is too much—”

“I’m sure you knew the end would come someday too, Yuri. You knew that, and still we’ve continued on with this together until now. Am I wrong?”

That was a good argument. Too good for a comeback.

“Ugh. No, you…aren’t wrong. All right, I get it. Let’s get this over with,” I said.

She nodded. “Yes,” she said. Smiled gently. “Let’s finish this.” And—

She tossed the dice, they went tumbling, and boom—she got a six. With a diabolical grin, Filia tapped her piece across the gameboard. “Goal! I win!” she exclaimed. Filia threw both of her arms up in the air in a victorious cheer.

I’d lost our game of backgammon. “Impossible… Tch! I, an intellectual muscle man…lost?”

“I’ll hold you to your promise now. How about we take on the simple request today?” Filia grinned triumphantly.

A simple request or a difficult request? Filia and I hadn’t been able to decide which one to accept, so we decided to leave the decision up to whoever won this great game of wits.

“I lost…” I moaned into the void. “I lost…”

Filia grimaced. “Yuri, seriously, just how depressed are you?”

“I lost to Filia, of all people…” The horror!

“Hey, hold on just a second, you lost t—what exactly is that supposed to mean, Yuri?!”

“All is lost…”

“Hello? Earth to Spaceman Yuri? What was that supposed to mean?!”

After some deep reflection, I finally acknowledged my defeat, and we prepared to go out and handle the request.

“By the way,” I said, “you are incredibly good at backgammon.” I felt like she only ever rolled sixes when we played.

“There’s a trick to it,” replied Filia with a proud chuckle.

I couldn’t really imagine there was anything like a trick to it, but that was probably just sore loser talk.

“Now, shall we be going?” she said.

“Sure, let’s go.”

With that, we left the inn and went out into the city of Mussen Morgeth.

 

***

 

We’d accepted a request from someone who wanted a monster nest removed from their house. Requests within the city were pretty low-difficulty and boring, but I’d lost the game, so I didn’t have a choice.

Filia and I headed to the client’s house in the residential area on the outskirts of the city. The subject of the request was apparently some bee-like monster called a “monbee.” They’re considered invasive, just flying on in and setting up shop wherever they feel like it. They’re also about the size of a person’s palm, which makes them quite large compared to a regular bee but pretty much a small fry when it comes to actual monsters.

As an intellectual muscle man, I naturally acquired this valuable intel well before we made contact with the enemy.

“Hold on, Yuri, isn’t that all information I collected?” asked Filia.

“Whoa, hey, don’t go peeking around in my head! Besides, Filia, here’s the thing: Did you research the information? Definitely. But now that I understand the information, I officially qualify as a Certified Intellectual Muscle Man.” I released the muscles in my arm and clenched my fist. Ah, the beauty of these muscles! And every single one of them, intellectual as hell.

Filia blinked. “If that’s what ‘intellectual’ means, I feel like that’s a fairly low hurdle for—”

“Hey, we’re here.”

“Well, okay.”

The client’s residence was a single building home in a residential district where about thirty feet separated each home. Pretty tranquil, I’d say.

The client stood in front of the house, waiting for us to arrive. “I’ve been expecting you. Thank you very much for coming.”

“No prob.”

“No prob indeed. I’m Filia, and this is Yuri. Thank you very much for offering us this job.”

After a brief greeting, the client led us to the monbee nest.

“It’s in the garden?” Filia confirmed.

“Yes. Unfortunately, they’ve settled in a corner furnished with magic stones,” said the man, pointing toward the back of the garden. “Think so, anyway.”

There, a hive about the size of a storeroom encroached on the wall, and disgustingly huge monbees hovered all around it.

“Whaauughhh?!” Filia shrieked unintelligibly…but it wasn’t hard to decode that one.

“Jeez,” I mumbled, “they’re huge…”

They were so huge, in fact, that they didn’t even resemble normal bees anymore. They must’ve been a foot long, easy. On top of that, their wings and bodies were all out of proportion.

The horde of monbees made a loud, abrasive buzzing sound as they went about their bzzzness, which was pretty nerve-wracking. Just one look at them definitely spiked my blood pressure.

“Magical energy is food for a monbee,” explained Filia, looking a little less pale now. “After feeding on all the energy of the abundant magic stones around here, they’ve become…this.”

So because they could eat way more magical energy here than they normally did in the wild, and because they had none of their natural predators around, they’d grown huge.

(By the way, a magic stone is actually an organ from inside a monster’s body, kind of like their storehouse of magical energy. They’re widely used as a power source for magic tools because they can hold magical energy. Cool, eh?)

“Well, we can’t really do anything about them anymore, it’s all so much, and…” The client trailed off, voice shaking.

Understandable. With monsters that size in your garden, you could hardly go about your daily life. We needed to assuage our client’s worries.

I pounded my chest with a big ol’ confident, vigorous smack! “Leave it to us. Now that we’re here, you can relax. Right, Filia?”

“Indeed. Please relax and evacuate from the area for the time being. I believe we should have this taken care of in roughly an hour,” announced Filia. She had a smug look on her face, as if she were bursting with self-confidence.

“Really? Thank you so much!” the client exclaimed. He looked so happy as he went back into his house—I guess our good vibes were contagious!

 

***

 

“Yuri…” said Filia, once the client was completely out of sight. “Yuri!”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“We couldn’t possibly, um, just not exterminate them, right?” Her smug look was now a distant memory. Filia’s cheeks were twitching, and she made a couple attempts to smile that collapsed on her face. Yeah, I guess we couldn’t afford to look anxious in front of our client.

“Depends. Are you about to go up to that guy and say something like, ‘I tried to act cool, but in the end I couldn’t do it?’ Because then, sure, we could just get outta here.”

“Ah, cruel fate,” said Filia with a little, possibly fake, sniffle. “We have no choice but to exterminate these awful beasts, I suppose. The transcendentally beautiful elf Filia could never permit such a thing to live!” she cried, holding her small fist in front of her chest.

“Yeah, sure. I mean, I can do this on my own, if this is really that big a problem. You just sit this out.”

When it comes to fighting, it’s fun for me even if I’m going it alone. Even if things look bad, I can usually just finish it myself.

But Filia shook her head. “As long as I’m getting paid, then… I am bound by professional obligation.”

I could respect that answer, but she looked downright unwell now.

“Hey, you okay…?”

“If I die,” she whispered, “please scatter my ashes to the winds…”

“Hey, c’mon, let’s not get all doom and gloom before we start, ya know?”

At last, Filia and I decided to exterminate the monbees.

 

***

 

“Hooah!”

When I attacked the mega-hive with my Pistol Punch, the monbees sensed the danger. They swooped out from the hive, one after another. Must’ve been something like sixty—no—seventy of them, I’d say. Honestly, it was a pretty freaky sight, and that’s coming from me. Sure, I could handle these guys, but I wasn’t particularly psyched about it.

Filia groaned, trembling with fear. “There’s so many…”

“I mean, yeah, they’re gonna keep coming. We just gotta do our best.” It wasn’t like the monsters were going to wait for us to get ready either. “C’mon, Filia. They’re coming!”

I blasted my Pistol Punch right at the center of the monbee swarm. Some of them fell to the ground. The rest of the swarm spread out over a wide area and surrounded us.

“Don’t come near me!” Filia shrieked. “Don’t! Doooon’t!”

She blasted magic spells at the monbees as they swooped down on us, one spell after another, pretty much all around her. The monbees weren’t even able to get near her, with how hard she was going. Surprisingly, her method of fighting—not thinking at all and completely ignoring efficient use of magical energy—actually sped up our monster-killin’ rate.

Being calm at all times isn’t always the optimal choice. It’s moments like this that make fighting interesting. At this rate, I could see Filia carrying out the request well enough even on her own.

All right, now that wouldn’t do. I’d let myself get distracted by Filia, but now I was ready to rock on this monbee swarm.

“Awesome work, Filia, but I ain’t gonna lose to you!”

I mean, at this rate, I wasn’t gonna get any credit for myself, and I couldn’t have that. I fearlessly charged headfirst into the swarm of monbees.

 

***

 

A few minutes later, after punching the last monbee into chunks, I confirmed that we’d completed the request.

“All done,” I said aloud.

“I-I can’t do this anymore…” Filia wheezed, slumping down to ground on the spot.

Guess she’d pushed herself too hard and been overwhelmed. Not that she couldn’t handle a little exertion at her level. If I had to guess, I’d say the cause of this collapse was the mental anguish induced by all those buzzy little dudes.

“Hey, yo, Filia, you okay?” I held out my hand.

Filia grabbed it (man, she was soft!) and pulled herself back up. “S-somehow, I live. Forget about me, though. I mean, I saw you get stung several times over. Yuri, are you all right? It’s hard to imagine you’d lose to those monbees, but…”

“Oh, that? I kinda wanted to see what it felt like to be stabbed by their stingers, heh.”

“You what? Y-you let them sting you on purpose?!”

“No, I tried to let them sting me. But my skin was just too tough for ’em. Their stingers snapped clean off.” I picked up one of the stingers on the ground and sighed. I thought it would’ve made for good training, but I guess a monster of monbee caliber wasn’t a good training partner, no matter how big it got.

Filia blinked. “Yuri, is your skin made of metal or something?”

“Metal?” I shook my head. “Don’t be ridiculous, Filia. My muscles are way tougher than metal!”

Come on, check out these babies! Well-developed muscles like this wouldn’t get pierced by a wee little needle. I’ve got natural armor—the supreme armor of muscles!

“I see,” said Filia flatly. “Delightful.”

“Hey, that’s not even specific. You usually, uh… What’s up?”

“I’m tired of being surprised. I’ve had enough. There’s no point in thinking too deeply about you, Yuri.”

Oh. I see. “Got it. You’re adopting that old saying: ‘Feel, don’t think!’ Not bad, Filia.”

“What I think,” said Filia with a deep, defeated sigh, “is that we’re done here.”

Heck yeah! We’d completed the request, and our client was ecstatic. It didn’t really serve as training for me at all, but it’s great to have a happy customer.

 

***

 

With our request done, we walked back to the city center of Mussen Morgeth. The sun hung high in the sky, shining down on our backs. Filia wiped her brow. “Whew, that request sure was exhausting, wasn’t it?”

“Hold on, you’re saying you’re tired?”

“And you’re not? You must have endless stamina, Yuri. You’re like a machine. Seriously, they should put you to work dredging a never-ending swamp or something.”

“Hey, wait a second. That’s a kinda off-putting way to say it, don’t you think?”

“Pfffbt,” replied ever-elegant Filia, raising her arms and bending her knees. What was that? Wait, was she imitating what it would be like if someone jumped into a swamp?

Anyway, uh… I suppose it would have been fine if we just continued on back to the inn, but it was still midday. We easily had enough time to stop off somewhere. Just as I was thinking that, Filia turned toward me.

“Oh, how about we get our fortune told? It’s free, apparently!”

Filia pointed toward a pyramid-shaped tent that had a sign with the words “Manor of Divination” written on it and, below, a “free offer.” A…manor? This tent was a manor? It also looked conspicuous surrounded by buildings on the street. Creeped me out, all of that.

Oh, and I guess it also emitted strange purple light in broad daylight, which seemed a little questionable.

“I’ve always wanted to have my fortune told at least once,” said Filia. “It’s fine if you just come along and watch, Yuri. Will you come with me?”

“Sure. Let’s go.” I’d lost to Filia today, so that made her the boss.

With that in mind, we walked into the tent. Upon entering, we met a plump woman, maybe in her late thirties, with purple hair done up in curls. It was a little hard to see inside because of all the purple light, so for a second I thought she was some kinda muscle lady. Alas, it turned out she was just kinda plump. Ah well.

“Welcome, I am Madam Inferno” said the fortune-teller woman in exactly the kind of voice you’d expect. She gestured grandly at Filia. “Do you wish to have your fortune told?”

“Yes, please. I’m Filia.” My companion sat across the table from the fortune-teller, facing her.

“Ah, yes… Filia, what kind of fortune would you like me to read for you today?”

“Um, let’s see… Can you read my luck fortune, maybe? I want to see what kind of luck I’ll have in the future.” Filia bounced cheerfully, her shoulders shaking as she bobbed up and down.

The fortune-teller shook her head. “The future? Alas, I’m afraid I cannot. I can only read the past.”

“I see…” Filia mused.

A fortune-teller…who could only read the past? Did that even count?

“Hmm. Well, in that case, what kind of fortune can you read?” Filia asked.

Yeah, I wouldn’t know what to ask for either after being told this lady could only read our past. But the woman seemed used to reactions like Filia’s.

“Ah, allow me to explain,” she said in a calm, fortune-tellery voice. “The majority of the requests I receive are from souls wishing for more insight on their own personality. One may notice more things about oneself if those things are pointed out by another person.”

So it was a personality test? I guess that was a kind of astrology…

“Okay, then,” said Filia, “let’s do that!”

At that, the fortune-teller produced a fist-sized crystal ball from beneath the table and began to look into it. I detected a change in the atmosphere as she did so. She was no phony. My muscles could sense it.

After silently gazing into the crystal ball for a few moments, she let out a light sigh and looked away from the ball. She stroked her plump chin once with the back of her plump hand, and then plump words began to pass through her plump lips.

“I see…I see that you have difficulty being honest about your feelings. I see, too, that while you appear to have the skills to take care of yourself, you are still a child in your heart of hearts. If you find someone with whom you can share those hidden parts of yourself, bringing them to the light, you will no longer have to push yourself so hard.”

Filia nodded in response, looking quite serious. “Hm. Hmm? Hmmm.”

The woman glanced over at me, then. “Although, young lady, you do seem to be quite compatible with him… Well, you’ve only known each other for a short time. You trust one another, but, girl, you appear to be hiding something.”

Filia nodded sagely. “I see. Because I’m so smart, I get along with Yuri despite the fact that he’s so different from me in every possible way?” She glanced back at me, looking self-satisfied.

I nodded sagely too. “What can I say? I’m an intellectual muscle man.”

At that, Filia slumped her shoulders in apparent exasperation and made a little snort. Hmph.

As for the fortune-teller’s last ominous little line? Ehh, no big. Everyone has a thing or two to hide. That was nothing to be particularly concerned about.

“The matter hidden within you is rooted deep. I’m not sure if it’s my place to say anything, but… You have some new little secret today, don’t you?” The fortune-teller raised her eyebrow slightly, shifting her gaze away from the crystal ball and toward Filia with wide, fortune-tellery eyes.

Filia looked utterly bewildered. “Today? I can’t really remember anything in particular…”

“Oh my, is that so? It seems like quite a small thing. I’m sure it will be fine if you tell him.”

Filia shrugged. “I’m sorry. I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I wasn’t planning on pressing Filia for any secrets or whatever—she was free to tell me or not tell me anything. But I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t curious. If she was willing to let me hear whatever this was, I’d happily listen. I perked up my ears and focused so I didn’t miss a word.

“I can see dice,” the fortune-teller warbled dramatically. “And also, magic…wind magic. I don’t know what that means, but I pray that it proves helpful. And so ends our session.”

Wait. Dice? Wind magic? Could that mean that, in our game of backgammon, Filia—

“Y-y-yes, that was so very helpful,” said Filia, smiling tightly. “Thank you ever so much. All right, let’s get going.”

The minute Filia finished bowing to the fortune teller, she was already pulling me by the hand out of the tent and, from there, she speed-walked us through town.

“M-man, what in the world was she talking about huh?” said Filia. “Total nonsense, completely forgettable, yep. Wouldn’t you say, Yuri?”

“Hey, Filia?”

“Oh, now I suppose she was right on the mark until about halfway, but she was way off with that last part! Fortune-telling is more of an art than a science, of course! So that’s fine, and normal, and also very good.”

“Hey, Filia…”

“Wh-what is it?”

Filia suddenly stopped her rapid-fire babble. She slowly turned around, a look of fear on her face. Sweat poured down her forehead.

There was no doubt in my mind: She was completely guilty. Filia had cheated in our game of backgammon…which meant she’d gotten to plan the day.

Absolutely unforgivable. I tilted my head and cracked my knuckles. “Spill it. All of it.”

“Blorgh!”

“Not THAT.” Jeez, obviously I wasn’t asking her to puke! “You cheated, didn’t you?”

“He. He he. He he he he…” Filia averted her gaze, all the while waterfalling sweat from her forehead.

“Nope. No way am I gonna let you just laugh this one off.”

“Well, I guess you could say I cheated, or you could say it was just a sudden impulse…” Filia lightly stuck out her tongue mischievously. “T-tee hee!”

I gave her a look. “Filiaaaa…”

“S-soooorrry?” And lightning-fast, just as I moved, she bolted. Sheesh, she moved quick as a flash when she wanted to. Talk about staying on your toes.