Chapter 13: Filia’s Resolve

Chapter 13:
Filia’s Resolve

 

(Filia’s POV)

MOTHER AND FATHER sat across from me. I had just finished eating dinner and still sat at the table with them, but Yuri wasn’t beside me. It had to be like that, though. I mean, if I couldn’t open up to my parents about my abilities, I would never be able to continue on my journey.

“Father. Mother.” I spoke slowly, trying to calm my racing mind. My heart thudded in my chest, but…I needed to say something. I had to say something. That was why I’d returned to the village. “I have something I would like to ask of you. No, I gotta ask.”

If I spoke so stiffly and unnaturally, I’d never reach them. I stopped using such formal language, and…went back to how I used to talk, before I was ignored. The two of them listened with serious faces. I guess they could tell I was about to be truly earnest. I forced my lips to stop quivering through sheer willpower and opened my mouth:

“I came back to the village to get my abilities back. Fa—Dad. Mom? I want you guys to come with me to help me convince the village chief.”

Their eyes widened in surprise, just like I’d expected. I’d said something rather astounding right out of the blue.

“Your abilities?!” Mom started.

“Lia, the village chief says the ‘Wind God’ ability is an affront to Almighty Wind God—”

“Even so!” I shouted, interrupting them. “Even so,” I repeated firmly, “I need them. ‘Wind God,’ and ‘Clairvoyance’ too.”

At that, my dad let out a small sigh. “To be frank, I had a sneaking suspicion this was the reason you came back. Your mother and I, we would like to…to…but we can’t. Please understand, Lia, we want you to be happy.”

Oh. So my own dad disagreed with me. “How is taking away my abilities supposed to make me happy?”

“Because when you have power, you get caught up in dangerous things. Rather than have a pointlessly strong ability, wouldn’t it be better to not have it at all?”

“No, Dad. That’s not even true!” I fired back.

Fired back? Huh. Looking back, that might’ve been the first time I’d ever argued with my dad directly. I considered taking a peek into their minds, too, but—no, it still didn’t work. When they’d found out that I had the ‘Wind God’ ability, ever since they started ignoring me, I hadn’t been able to see into their hearts.

My Telepathy only allowed me to read the minds of those whose minds were open to me. If I couldn’t read their minds, then their minds were closed. As nice as they’d been acting after I returned to the village, did they… Did they really hate me deep down, after all? If I got the Wind God back, would they ignore me again? Would they stop talking to me? Ugh, I…I could barely think about it. It felt like my heart was trembling in my ribs, on the verge of shattering and cutting up my insides.

“Now, Elgis, she…”

“Fira, you be quiet,” he said. “Filia…I’m not in favor of getting your abilities back.”

Dad only ever called me “Filia” when he was being serious. It was almost nostalgic, hearing that after such a long time, but it was all soured with his distrust.

“Dad, are you even thinking of me when you say that?” No. No, they weren’t at all. They were thinking of themselves, of their cozy little lives in the village, of how scared they were of being ostracized. I wanted to spit the words at them, but I managed to swallow that venom.

“Of course we are,” said Dad. “Isn’t it obvious? Oh, Filia, you’ve always been the most important thing to your mother and me! I’d give my life for you!”

“Yes, Filia…there’s…there’s nothing in this world that matters to us more than you!”

I mattered to them more than anything, huh? But for all that, they didn’t want to return my abilities after all. My thoughts weren’t reaching them. To be honest, it was…it was hard not to cry. They’d both been so kind to me since I returned that I’d really believed they might understand. Really begun to hope, you know? But that bright hope collapsed into a black hole of disappointment.

“That’s exactly why your mother and I are opposed to you getting your abilities back,” my father said adamantly. I supposed I couldn’t change his feelings on the matter so soon or so easily.

Well, fine. No getting around it. I hadn’t wanted to worry them, so I’d kept quiet about it, but if things were going to end like this? I wasn’t going to hide the truth of my motives. I’d just tell them. “Do you know about the Elf Hunting incidents happening outside the forest?”

“Yes. The village chief told us about them earlier…” my dad answered. I could tell the sudden shift in topic made him suspicious, but he answered anyway.

“Some time ago,” I said, “I was kidnapped by some lowlifes involved in the matter.”

“Wh-what?!” Their eyes widened in shock and they leaned in closer to me, looking exceedingly concerned.

I paid them no mind. Just kept talking. “If I had more power, then maybe I’d be able to carry on without worrying Yuri. Maybe I could’ve handled myself better in a fight… So you see, I want that power back. I need it.”

“But, ah, Lia,” said Mom, “do you suppose you could just stay here, now that you’ve come back? If you did that, you wouldn’t have to endure such horrible dangers. You’d be safe.”

She wasn’t all wrong. This village was safer than the outside world, for sure. Elves were often targeted outside our woods, and maybe I couldn’t ever live safely out there, but…

“I refuse,” I said without hesitation, shaking my head. “When I left the forest and got to know the wide world outside, I was so moved. The world is so much freer than you know, and so welcoming to me. There have been hardships and pain—of course there have—but in a way, that makes it all the more rewarding. Even fun, sometimes. The world inside me is expanding.”

Memories of my travels came flooding into my mind. None of those things would have been possible if I stayed holed up inside this forest, growing stale and sad.

“I’m sorry to tell you this,” I said, “but I don’t plan to stay in this forest. Never again.”

“Hmph. Is that all you want to say?” said my dad, glaring at me. I managed not to look away, somehow. If I couldn’t talk back here and now, I wasn’t much of an elf.

No, I’d say whatever came to mind. And maybe it came out awkward, but I’d go with it. “Maybe you both think I’ll be safe if I stay in this village and don’t get my abilities back, but a threat like the Elf Hunts might still come here. You can tell me—you can tell yourselves—that there’s some perfectly safe place, but it’s not this one. I don’t think it really exists. And I’m not going to waste my time pretending it does. This is my life.”

When I was a child, my dad and mom had kept me safe. Now Yuri had been protecting me, but could I accept that? I couldn’t expect Yuri to protect me forever. My heart ached merely imagining Yuri getting hurt for my sake. No, I had to become strong—strong in battle, yeah, but strong in spirit too.

“Hey, Dad. Mom. I’m seventeen. I know I might look like a child to you, but I’m an adult, and I want to choose my own path. No, I will choose my own path.” And I would be my own protector. The thought burned in my heart, good and true. “Mom, Dad…now you’ve got to choose: your faith, or your daughter?”

Ugh, no, what had I done? That was too far for sure! I mean, their faith was obviously more important to the both of them, right? They’d just ignore me now. Ignore me again… I…I could feel my breathing getting ragged.

“Elgis, don’t you think that’s enough?” said Mom, breaking a silence that seemed to last an eternity. She had a warm, gentle smile on her face, a face that hadn’t changed a bit since my childhood.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Then…Dad smiled warmly too?

“Eh? Um. What’s going on?” What did those smiles mean?

“If we appeal to the village chief directly about restoring your ‘Wind God’ ability, we’ll most likely be chased out of the village. We just put on a little show to know for sure…to see if this was really what you wanted.”

“Mmhm. And I feel you’re so serious that it’s almost painful. You’ve really grown up.”

The two of them looked at me so tenderly now. The mood in the air had completely transformed from a few moments ago. I couldn’t grasp what was happening.

I just stared at them in bewilderment. “Huh? But your faith? Your faith has to be…more important to the two of you than…than me, right?”

“More important than our daughter? No, Lia. Never.”

What was happening right now? My mind raced like crazy inside my head. I was more important to them than their faith? Me? But that…but…

“We were wrong,” said mom. “We thought we had to protect you, Lia, at all costs, no matter the sacrifice. But before we even realized it, you started making your own way. You’ve grown up, Lia.”

“Your mother and I support your choice, Lia. We’ll go with you to talk to the village chief.”

“It looks like it’s time for us to let our daughter go.”

Mom and Dad came in and hugged me tight.

“Elgis and I will always be with you,” said Mom. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Lia. You’re more than important to us than anything. Our pride and joy.”

“D-Dad… M-Mom…”

My parents’ words flowed gently into my heart as they hugged me. Some knot of darkness inside me melted away in their warmth and their words. Then, after maybe ten seconds, twenty seconds, maybe more—after hugging me for a long time, at any rate—the two of them stood back up.

“Lia. We’re sorry. We were truly horrible to you.”

“Yes, we…we’re failures as parents. An apology won’t make up for what happened, but we are truly very sorry.”

And Dad and Mom, they…bowed to me. Deeply. It was the first time they’d ever bowed to me like this, and I was shocked. Suddenly the two of them looked so small. Somehow, I understood that—and I don’t mean this in a bad way—that the two of them weren’t gods or anything. They were just ordinary elves. Just other people, like me.

At the same time, I was surprised, because…I could see into their minds now. I paid no attention to the dryness of my mouth. I swallowed some spit, felt my throat moving up and down. Now I could know what they thought of me. What they really thought of me. In order to take a step forward, with my own will…I’d use my ability.

And.

“What’s wrong?!”

“Lia! Are you okay?!”

My eyes got hot. I couldn’t help but look straight up. Their hearts, they brimmed with repentance and a love that surpassed even that. My dad and mom had loved me. Loved me then, and loved me now. It wasn’t disgust clouding their hearts, it wasn’t anger…it was the overwhelming tides of guilt for ignoring me.

“Yes…I…” I looked forward, holding back my tears. “I’m okay. I am.”

They’d agreed to let me regain my abilities and to go on traveling. It was so sudden, such a shock, that I might suddenly die. I’d wondered if I wasn’t showing my parents the daughterly respect they deserved, but they were still graciously sending me on my way, even as they were worried about me.

So I smiled at them both. “Dad. Mom. Thank you for giving me life. I-I’m so happy to be your daughter!”

They burst into tears. They stared at me, faces wet, smiles wavering and disheveled from crying, sniffling.

“You, ah, oh, you’ve turned into such a fine young lady before we even realized it!”

Thank you, Dad. I was too embarrassed to actually say it, but when I was a goofy kid, I really did think dumb stuff like “I wanna marry my daddy.”

“She’s our daughter, Elgis… Ah, of course she would be, right?”

Thank you, Mom. I’d never imagined my mom, who was always so tough, thought so much of me that her voice would quiver as she spoke of me. I hoped she’d forgive me for being so rebellious.

And now there was Yuri to think about. To fight together with. To stand beside. When I got my abilities back, I’d help him just as much as he’d helped me until now.

With that in mind, I raced to go tell Yuri that I’d finished my conversation with my parents.

“Oh, Filia, how’d it go?”

“Great! They agreed to go with me!”

“Right on, Filia, you did it!” he shouted happily, as if just hearing it was sunshine for him.

That made me happy, too. Looking at his face, I felt my shoulders getting lighter, my mood brighter. I held up one finger in front of Yuri’s face.

“Yes, well, of course I did it. But there’s just one problem…”

“Problem? What?”

“I’m terribly exhausted after telling my parents my true feelings and having a general personal revelation—all that stuff. So how about, for a nice change of pace, I look at you with my eyes rolled back so you can only see the whites of my eyes?”

At that, Yuri’s cheeks suddenly twitched. Jeez, how rude! Here I was, giving him an exceedingly rare view of the transcendentally beautiful elf Filia with her eyes rolled all the way back, and that was his reaction? I—

All right, I just wanted to see him smile. I wanted Yuri to know some of the happiness I felt when I was together with him.

“Um, Filia? I really wish you’d stop doing that, if you could.”

“On whose authority, Yuri? Eh? Ehh?”

“Didn’t you just ask me if it was okay?”

“Ta-da!” Without answering his question, I widened my rolled-back eyes and leaned in close.

“That’s not a change of pace. That’s terrifying!”

At that moment, I realized two vital things:

First, when I rolled my eyes back like that, I couldn’t actually see Yuri’s face to know if he was smiling. Second, judging from the tone of his voice, Yuri wasn’t happy about it. If anything, he was seriously skeeved out.

Mission…failed…

Oh well. It was already getting late, so it was about time to get to bed. All in one night, I’d grown up a little and learned that everyone’s a critic.