Prologue: A Chance Meeting in the Forest

Prologue:
A Chance Meeting in the Forest

 

“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!” A hulking monster blocked my way through the dense, overgrown forest. “Dang, you’re a huge one, aintcha?”

The monster’s body was covered in thick black hair. It had to be twice my size, maybe more. Assuming that bulk wasn’t just for show, this toothy furball could probably pack a powerful punch.

I just couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from curving into a grin. I’d spent over ten years in this deadly forest, and I could tell the monster in front of me was a top-tier nasty-strong son of a gun.

Nice.

Going all out in a death match with something that powerful? I was so happy I could hardly stand it!

“GRAAAHH!”

Seeing me smile—which, okay, was maybe a little inappropriate—the monster let out a roar and flew into a rage. Giving in to its violent fury, it rushed straight at me. Its movements were quick, its huge body belying a hidden agility. Um, nice? Rad as hell?

“Come on, let’s go! Hooah!”

I swung my fist at the oncoming mass of shaggy death. In the next instant, my fist and the monster’s claws collided. With a satisfying snap the monsters claws shattered and went flying.

The monster couldn’t hide its shock at this setback. When in a battle to the death, that kind of pause is fatal. Without losing an ounce of focus, I swung my fist again with the same force.

Crack! I connected directly with the monster’s abdomen and it sailed several hundred miles through the air. In the distance, trees tumbled and collapsed as the monster’s bulk careened into the depths of the forest.

The last thing I heard was a thunderous roar reverberating through the dark. When I tracked the monster down, all I found was its lifeless body.

“Welp,” I said with a shrug, looking over the mass of fallen trees and the cratered ground. “I’ve seen better.”

 

***

 

“Whew, what a catch! This is going to fill me right up!”

A lone man made his way home, looking in high spirits. That guy just so happened to be me, and I was strolling through the lush forest to my little cottage while I lugged my massive, freshly slain monster.

Though when I stopped and thought about it, I realized I’d better wash before I got back. I’d gotten a little scuffed in that last battle, after all. I stopped by the lake on the way to clean myself up.

When I looked into the water’s surface, I saw the reflection of blue sky and white clouds above, and beneath? Yours truly. Black eyes in the front, black hair up top, all rippling in the lake. Pretty unusual color combination, or so I’ve read. I’m, oh, around five seven—average, you know?—though I’m a bit beefier than your average joe. That’s what the books I’d found indicated, at least.

As for the name, it’s Yuri. Since I didn’t really have any parent-types around, I decided on the name for myself. Came in second place behind “Beefcake.” I think I was probably around eighteen years old.

I say “probably” because I don’t remember exactly when I wound up in that forest. By the time I was really aware of things, I was just…there, by myself. So yeah, no certain age and a name I had to pick all on my own, but it was what it was. Honestly, aside from the whole “living in a secluded forest” thing, I was probably a normal sort of guy you’d find anywhere.

“All right. Time to head home.”

After getting myself all squeaky clean, I once again started back toward my cottage.

“Still, gotta say, I sure was lucky to run into such a hefty monster.”

Aw yeah, I’d be livin’ it up for a while after a good hunt like that. I puffed out my chest, envisioning the rich meals in store. Heck, if I fried it on up, I could stuff my face with it right quick.

Just as I was thinking about getting the proper fixings together for a good fry, I felt something strange. The air around me was tense. It’s difficult to put into words, but it clearly felt different from the usually peaceful atmosphere of my forest home. When I searched for signs of what might be off, I found indications that there was someone or something in the area near my cottage.

Another monster?

“Now that’s what you call luck!” I exclaimed. Another battle already!

Heart pounding, I broke into a run, my soon-to-be-fried prey still slung over my shoulder. Fortunately for me, my little abode was just a stone’s throw away.

Now then, what kinda monster was this new one going to be? The stronger the better, if you asked me. I was still jonesing for a rampage. Blood pumping, ready to punch, I finally skidded to a stop in the clearing before my front door.

Except the prey I’d been dreaming of wasn’t there. It was just…some strange girl standing out front.

“This is a house, isn’t it?” she muttered to herself, staring at my little forest home. It seemed like she hadn’t noticed me yet because she was in a daze. Thinking to herself, apparently. I took the opportunity to cautiously assess her.

Silver hair, silver eyes, and long, pointed ears. She didn’t seem to be a human like me, more like she was a different race entirely. The feature that really drew me in was her face—she was beautiful! She was cute, lovely, and just elegant, ya know? It was like her face was molded into the embodiment of all the world’s beauty, and for a few moments, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Above the waist, she wore a form-fitting white top that showed off her curves, and below the waist she wore a loose, flowing skirt.

Even at a glance, her style floored me. She looked about one fist shorter than me, and her waist was long and slender. Although her chest wasn’t the biggest, so what? She was basically an exquisite work of art, a masterpiece.

I could barely believe she was just here in front of my house. Though more startling than her beauty was the fact that anyone was here. All this time living in the forest and I’d rarely ever actually seen another person. I definitely never thought someone else would wander this deep into the savage, untamed woods…

Ohhhh, no, that had to be it. I wasn’t suffering from some kind of head-over-heels love-at-first-sight thing, I just couldn’t control the throbbing of my heart because I hadn’t met another person in such a long time. That was what was going on. Yeah, definitely.

While my mind was bouncing all over the place, the mysterious beauty was lost in thought, her finger on her chin and a pensive look on her face.

“Why is there a cottage here of all places? Should I try and…go inside? No, this isn’t the time to hesitate.”

It seemed she still hadn’t noticed me. In that case, I had to try get her attention. I calmed down—deep breath, come on, Yuri—and called out to the lady. “Hail, stranger. What, uh, business do you have at my humble abode?”

“Whaa?!” She let out a shriek that seemed unbefitting of an elegant woman like herself. The look she gave me was completely shocked. “I-I’m sorry. You surprised me…”

“Oh, no, no, I’m sorry for surprising you like that. It’s just, uh, this is the first time I’ve met someone else in the forest. What are you even doing here, though?”

“I just wanted directions. Can you help me get out of here?”

She explained that her name was Filia Windia, and she was a seventeen-year-old elf. (And you know, I’d read that elves were famously beautiful, but I never imagined they could be as goddess-level gorgeous as Filia.) A-anyway, from the sound of it, she’d wandered into the forest and now she didn’t know how to get back home.

As I listened to her story, I crossed my arms and frowned contemplatively at the elf standing in front of me.

She tilted her head up at me as if trying to guess what I was thinking. Her long eyelashes fluttered so prettily when she blinked.

“I see, I see,” I said, nodding sagely. “So, in short…um, say, what’s your name again?”

“Didn’t I introduce myself to you a minute ago? My name is Filia, Fi-li-a. Ah, however, if you wish to call me ‘the transcendentally beautiful elf Miss Filia,’ I wouldn’t be opposed. How do you like the sound of that, hm?” Filia beamed, pressing a finger to her chin.

All right, all right! Sure, she was cute, but there was no need to get carried away. Still…

“Well, all right, I guess. So, in short, oh, transcendentally beautiful elf Miss Filia—”

“Ah! No, I’m sorry! Please just call me Filia, that’s fine!”

“But…you just told me yourself you wanted me to call you that.”

“Yeah, yeah, but hearing it out loud is way more embarrassing than I expected it to be…”

Filia averted her eyes as if to avoid my gaze. Her light cheeks, so pale as to almost be transparent, reddened with a blush.

“Well, let me see if I’ve got this—you’re Filia, you’re an elf, and after leaving your elf village for the first time, you were feeling confident. You charged headfirst into this unfamiliar forest and found yourself unable to find your way home. Is that right?” I asked.

“That sums it up.”

“Hm.”

I squinted at this so-called elf before me. Weren’t elves supposed to have a certain level of awareness of the dangers of a forest? I would’ve thought even a happy-go-lucky toddler wouldn’t blithely rush into my monster-infested woods.

Perhaps it was because she noticed my scrutiny, but Filia spoke up again, more words wandering from her pink lips. “I’m kind of a careless girl sometimes. But even that part of me is cute, don’t you think?”

“You sure call yourself cute a lot.” Cute on the outside, kinda conceited on the inside. “That’s beside the point, I guess. What matters is that you’re lost.”

“No, no. Lost is such a, ah, perilous word. I’ve never been lost in my life. I just…don’t know where I am in this specific forest.”

“That is what the word ‘lost’ means, yes.”

Filia hung her head low. “Ugh! So mean! Here I am, struggling to escape from my harsh reality, but you bring me crashing down into despair with your offhanded remarks? The humanity! The horror!”

What was with this lady? The words you use to describe reality don’t change reality. I didn’t understand a lick of what she wanted. This incomprehensible girl covered her chest with one hand and pointed accusingly at me with her other.

“To take such pleasure in plunging me into despair…is that your kink? You’ve scandalized me! The raw nerve!”

“Find your way out yourself, then.”

“I—oh goodness, I’m ever-so-sorry! Please forgive me, Mr. Forest Man, I’m begging you!” Filia bowed.

If someone else had happened upon us at that moment, I was sure I was the one who’d look like the bad guy. At least there was no one for miles and miles to lay eyes on our mess.

Still… I peered at Filia as she stood before me, bowing low. Were all elves this weird? Or no, were they all just full of themselves? To think just that morning I’d thought of elves as prancing pictures of perfection. How utterly disappointing. Then again, that sort of elf sounded stiff and uptight.

On the other hand, maybe the reason I was nursing this odd interest in Filia, the reason she’d instantly caught my attention, was because she wasn’t just the first person I’d met in a long time, she also felt…I don’t know, easy to talk to?

We connected with each other.

All right, then. My task? To lead Filia out of the forest. I could at least help her with that. And I’d be happy to, even! Just one itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny tiny problem…

“Okay, let’s do this. Maybe we can find the way out together.”

“Find the way out toge—excuse me? You just said ‘I’m not going to tell you the way’ all high and mighty and you didn’t know it to begin with? Are you serious?”

Ah, yeah, I’d said that earlier, huh? Oops.

“Sorry. No worries though, forget about it.”

“The barbarity! The cruelty! Trampling upon a maiden’s pure, innocent heart! There shall be consequences! Reparations!” Filia glared at me.

Buuuut she was pretty tiny, so it was like being menaced by a kitten.

“Cool. First, though, I think we gotta handle that.” I pointed behind Filia.

Filia followed my finger and there it was: a carnivorous plant-monster with writhing purple tentacles. The thing had crept up while we were talking; I hadn’t even sensed the little sneak till right then.

“Yeeeeaagh?!” Filia, once again letting out another very un-elven cry, immediately put distance between herself and the monster. Now she stood beside me, her body trembling at the sight of the writhing tentacles.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Filia moaned. “A…a tentacle monster? Gross, gross, grosssss! I’ve never seen anything so…squirming? Ohhh it’s so bad to see… Let’s get out of here as fast and far as possible! Please?”

I snorted. “C’mon, have you never eaten one of those tentacles? They’re delicious!”

Filia, who’d been slowly but surely backing away in retreat, stopped in her tracks. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

When you roasted the tentacles, they gave off a unique aroma. Just delicious eatin’. Even in this forest full of tasty monsters, you could really get addicted to these guys. I’d give it second place in tastiness. No, first. Argh, it’s so hard to decide!

Filia nodded slowly at first, then with more certitude. “Let’s fight it then, shall we? If we run away, I will bring shame to the name of elves.”

Filia-now was completely different from Filia-before. She looked ready to fight—calm and calculating, even.

Still, I stood in front of her. “It just so happens I’ve had a craving for this guy. Lemme handle it.”

Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t really eaten anything in a while. I was so hungry I felt like I was gonna die. Nah, I’d kill the monster quick and get it in my belly pronto. Meal solved, starvation avoided.

“Are you going to be okay? That monster seems pretty strong,” said Filia.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sure, just leave it to me.” I turned behind me to where Filia stood. As I did, Filia’s expression changed from one of unease to straight-up panic, like she’d been cornered.

“Watch out! In front of you! Yuri, in front!”

“Yeah?”

I pivoted back around just as she said to and got a face-full of wind spell for my troubles. The monster’s sharp blades of air slammed into my body, kicking up clouds of dust.

“N-no!” Filia shouted, her voice trembling.

Maybe she thought I was dead? Understandable, I guess. No worries, though. With my well-trained leg muscles, I shot out of the dust cloud and landed right up close to the monster.

“Let’s go!”

I closed the distance with a lunge, spun, and delivered a light punch to the dumbstruck monster’s belly. The monster let out a pained cry and collapsed. Its tentacles wiggled and writhed for a bit, but it wasn’t long before they too went still.

“Whew…”

With the beastie taken care of, I dragged its corpse back to where Filia stood.

“Wh-what just happened?” For some reason, Filia’s silver eyes were wide open and her mouth hung agape. Something must have given her quite a shock.

“Ah, right, so, magic doesn’t really have an effect on me. Because of my training and all.”

That training was the reason why I could live alone in this monster-ific forest. At this point, my body was so toned that I hadn’t met any kind of magic that could so much as dent it. So, you know, spells didn’t really concern me. Fire magic, water magic, lightning magic, wind magic, or earth magic, you-name-the-magic, it all just poofed into nothin’ against my ripped bod. There was no advantage quite like it, especially in mortal combat. It was the foundation of my survival.

That’s muscles for you. Muscles are strong, and beautiful. Sacred. All things come down to muscle.

“Magic has little effect…? Because you’ve trained…? That sounds like…like complete nonsense…right?” Filia mumbled, seemingly astonished. Some weird elf stuff, I guess.

“Look, whatever, the point is, my rad muscles block magic. Facts are facts.”

Filia folded her arms. “That’s soooo unfair!”

“What’re you, a child?” I let out an involuntary laugh at her pettiness. “C’mon, let’s chow down before we leave the forest. You’re gonna eat too, right?”

“Hmph. I will accept your offer. I…suppose I’m eager to see what those tentacles might taste like. Yes, I’m excited to try!”

“Well, come on, then, let’s head on inside.”

And so the first visitor to my humble cottage in the deadly-as-heck forest was Filia, the weird and kinda spoiled elf.

 

***

 

“Phew, I really pigged out…” I leaned back in my chair and admired the pile of empty wooden plates piled on the little table between me and my house guest. Not a scrap of purple tentacle remained.

“Yeah,” said Filia, rubbing her belly, “I couldn’t take another bite.”

“You thought it would taste awful,” I mused, “but look at you now!”

Filia’s cheeks flushed red. “W-well, that’s because those tentacles let out that weird whistling sound while you were frying them!”

“Yeah, that happens.”

“And then after biting into them, they let out that horrid death cry and started casting wind magic!”

“Yep, kinda what they do.”

“So,” she said, very slowly, “anyone with common sense would think that it definitely wouldn’t qualify as a tasty experience then, wouldn’t you agree?”

I mean, I got where she was coming from, I guess. “But, how was it, really? Was it gross?”

Given how close we both were to food-coma territory, I didn’t even need to hear her answer.

Filia responded in a quiet voice, as if admitting defeat herself. “It was…delicious. Positively delectable. Thank you so very much for the meal.”

“Welp, hey, no problem. My pleasure, matter-of-fact.”

“Ugh…” She gave me an odd look. “This feels somewhat humiliating, for some reason.…”

Filia was glaring at me now, embarrassed, but I didn’t pay it any mind. Honestly, I was kind of stuck on the amount of food she’d stuffed down her gullet. As full as she said she was, she’d eaten barely a tenth of what I had.

“I sorta thought you were gonna be the kind of glutton who eats like a horse,” I admitted. “But you didn’t actually eat that much at all.”

Even though she kept going on about how delicious the food was, how much she couldn’t get enough of it, all of that stuff—it seemed like she was at an impasse with her tiny elf stomach.

“I do want to eat more, but I get full really quickly.” Filia sighed. “I’m jealous of people like you who can eat as much as their heart desires, Yuri.”

“You know, you do look really thin. Wouldn’t it be better if you put on a few pounds?” I asked, examining Filia’s body once more.

Even though she said her belly was packed, her slender figure remained unchanged. When I stared at Filia like that though, she crossed her arms as if to hide herself from view.

“The humanity! The insensitivity! Taking advantage of the lull after a meal to defile me in your mind! Horrid.”

“Don’t just accuse me of being a creep!”

“What? Am I wrong? Oh, well, that’s nice, then,” she replied with a light, teasing laugh. Then she stood, stretched, and let out a satisfied post-meal grunt. “Thank you ever-so-much for the meal, Yuri. It really was marvelous, I hope you know, and certainly I should know. That being said, it seems about time for me to go. The road goes ever on or whatever.”

“Wait.” I called out to Filia just as she set foot outside my door.

She tilted her head to the side as if to say “What’s the matter?”

“Honestly?” I scratched the back of my head. “I want to leave the forest, too. Is it okay if I go with you? It doesn’t have to be any farther than the outskirts.”

I’d never felt lonely living on my own…not until that moment. Unnameable dissatisfaction didn’t haunt me or anything like that. There was even a sense of achievement in being able to eat what I hunted with my own two hands. But now…now I knew somebody. I knew Filia. And yeah, she was strange, but she didn’t seem bad. She was, I don’t know, likeable.

I hadn’t even thought about leaving the forest before. Maybe I had been unconsciously avoiding entertaining the thought. But after just a few hours with Filia, my suppressed interest in the outside world was overflowing.

I wanted to know more about all kinds of things.

I wanted to go to all kinds of places.

I wanted to meet all kinds of people.

And, above all else, I wanted to become stronger. For the sake of Muscle Itself.

In an instant, those feelings filled my heart and spilled out into my enormous and totally ripped pecs. How ripped was I, really? What dangerous wonders could this body—this positively shredded body with its tree-trunk limbs and glistening rock-hard abs—withstand? The burning desire of this totally cut bod could not, would not be quenched!

So, uh, also to note, I’d apparently been saying most of this out loud. Filia, after listening to me wax on for a bit, looked up for a moment, like she was hesitating.

“Well, then,” she said, “yes, how about we go together? I just left my home village too, so I’m feeling a little anxious. In fact, I believe I find your…bigness reassuring, Yuri.”

“Whoo! Thanks for having me along! You will not regret it!”

And just like that, I decided to leave my forest home. I’d spent nearly my entire life in the trees, so I was feeling a bit emotional. But the other rush of emotion was so much better: excitement and joy and hot-blooded anticipation! We were going out to see a world filled to bursting with new adventures!