Chapter 11: Is a Donut Hole a Donut?

Chapter 11:
Is a Donut Hole a Donut?

 

THE SECOND WE LEFT Ashley’s house, we were surrounded by the villagers. They all wanted to check in on their neighbor.

Moichi rushed forward from the crowd. “Hey Ashley, are you okay?!”

Ashley nodded. “I’m sorry for making you all worry. I’m all right. It’s okay.”

“I-I see, I’m glad, but…is that girl…is she okay to be around?” asked Moichi. “She’s not gonna…you know, go crazy or nothin’?”

“Me? Loli Loli? Loli Loli would never go crazy! I am way too incredibly intelligent for that!”

“She’s not a bad kid,” Ashley insisted. “She’s a majin, but she’s a cheerful, kind girl. So, everyone, I have a request. I…I’d like you to allow Loli Loli to join the festival. Is that okay?”

The crowd shifted their gazes to Loli Loli.

“Hm?” Loli Loli cocked her head to the side, puzzled.

Since she looked and acted just like any regular child, the villagers’ fears were visibly fading away. From the start, the villagers had been scared because of their assumptions about majin. Once they met Loli Loli, though, they seemed to quickly understand that she was a good person.

“Sorry for runnin’ away just as soon as we saw you,” said Moichi. “This might not make up for it, but please, have fun at the festival.”

The rest of the villagers agreed. I think it was probably a good thing that Ashley was the one to ask. An outsider like me or Filia couldn’t have argued that Loli Loli wasn’t a danger to them—they wouldn’t have believed us. But the villagers had absolute faith in Ashley. Still, I admit that I never imagined her request would be so easily accepted.

“Ashley, you really are quite popular, aren’t you?” said Filia.

“That’s ’cause Ashley’s the first S-Rank adventurer to come from these parts,” said Moichi. “She’s the pride of the village.”

Ahh. Well, they said there were fewer than a hundred S-Rank adventurers in the entire world, so it sure was something to be proud of. That also explained why Ashley had insisted on fighting alone yesterday. If people had that much faith in you, you’d want to live up to it.

“Okay, we got permission from the villagers,” said Ashley. “So now Loli Loli can see the festival!”

“Ah! Well done, Ashley! Loli Loli praises you!” said Loli Loli, standing up on her tiptoes and stretching her back to reach higher, rubbing Ashley’s head somewhat roughly. Ashley didn’t seem to mind having her hair ruffled.

“Listen up, okay?” said Ashley. “Festivals are meant to be fun. So, everyone, enjoy the festival to the fullest!”

“Understood!”

“Yes, I’m looking forward to it!”

“Yep.”

Loli Loli got permission to participate in the festival, but it wasn’t like all of our problems were solved yet.

“Hey, Moichi?”

“What’s up, Yuri?”

“Can I come by your shop? I wanted to ask you more about that threat you got,” I said with utmost seriousness. There was a possibility an attack would come in the middle of the night—tonight. If we didn’t do anything about it, we wouldn’t be able to truly enjoy the festival.

 

***

 

We headed over to Moichi’s shop. It was located in the exact middle of the village, immediately in front of the Fire God idol. As we entered the shop, a faintly sweet smell tickled our noses. The spacious store had a really relaxed feel; it was perfect for this tranquil village.

“This shop has such a nice atmosphere,” said Filia.

“Ya think so?” said Moichi, looking bashful at the praise. “Thanks, I really appreciate it!”

“I love Moichi’s shop too,” said Ashley. “His stuff is so yummy.”

“Ashley’s been a regular since my pop’s time. She really means a lot to me.”

“He he, true! You should be grateful,” said Ashley, puffing out her chest.

“Yes, yes, thank you for your patronage, Ashley,” Moichi teased. The sight was so heartwarming that it almost made me completely forget about the coming attack.

“What do you sell here anyway?” I asked.

“Oh, donuts. Donuts.”

“Donuts?” I asked as a certain man’s face popped up in my mind. That S-Rank adventurer…Javagiir was his name, right? He had been a pretty strange fellow. Where was he right now? I really wanted to trade blows with him sometime. And maybe give him a rousing lecture on muscle, since he had looked so unhealthy and all.

I was sure he’d get even stronger if I told him about muscle training. And when he got stronger, we’d fight again. Heh! This was the best idea ever. It’d be like, a perfect circle of fighty trainy punchy fighty!

“He just started smiling all of the sudden,” said Ashley. “Is he okay?”

“That’s just how Yuri is.”

“That’s what worries me.”

“Uh. Well, that’s a good point…”

“Hey, Yuri, Yuri!” Loli Loli piped in, tugging on my arm. “Maybe you’re not really a proper grown-up after all?” She said all that with an entirely straight face.

Jeez, while I was caught up in my fantasies, they were all just taking advantage of it to say whatever the heck they wanted!

“I am a proper adult. An intellectual muscle man! A gentle muscle man!” I argued, releasing my muscles as a sign of protest. My muscles swelled out with a forceful boom and my body was revealed in all its glory.

“Oh! That’s pretty amazing, Yuri! Respect!” Loli Loli cheered.

“Totally, right?” I responded by striking a series of poses.

In the meantime, Moichi and the others just continued their conversation. “Well, the donuts we sell here are different. They have a unique flavor.”

“Oh? What’re they like?”

“Well, they—you know what? It’d actually be easier to just make ’em for ya. Wait a minute.”

Moichi withdrew into the kitchen. Loli Loli stretched her neck out, trying to see just where Moichi had disappeared to. The second she realized donuts were on the table, her interest swung totally away from muscles.

“Donuts! I know what those are!” said Loli Loli. “They’re really yummy, aren’t they?! Loli Loli likes them too!”

“Oh, Loli Loli, you know about donuts?” I asked her.

She puffed out her cheeks and shot me a look. “Hmph! You always underestimate me! Of course I know about them!”

Was it that obvious? In my defense, she hadn’t known a thing about festivals. I wasn’t really sure how to predict what she did and didn’t know, honestly. Loli Loli let out an indignant snort.

“Moichi’s donuts are especially yummy,” Ashley interrupted, “so I hope you’re looking forward to them.”

“Really? In that case, we’ll just have to wait and see!” said Filia.

“You’re really talkin’ them up,” I said.

“Yep! Because they really are yummy.” Ashley’s eyes glazed over like she had been enchanted, and she looked vacantly off into empty space as if she were lost in donut memories. She was clearly trying not to drool. It wasn’t at all what you’d have expected from her.

Still, unless Ashley’s sense of taste was seriously screwed up, I supposed we really could expect some dynamite donuts. But I wasn’t the one looking forward to it the most—that was definitely Filia. Her passion for food was extraordinary.

“If you say so, then I’m positively swelling with anticipation—huh?!” Filia wore a look of pure goofy glee—the kind of look that might’ve ruined somebody’s image of a beautiful woman. The moment she noticed my gaze, she quickly reverted to her typical dignified expression. Was she embarrassed that I’d seen her looking all—

“Yuri, were you looking at my chest just now?! You perv—did the word ‘swelling’ set you off and get you ogling?! That’s so mean!”

“I wasn’t lookin’ there and wasn’t thinkin’ that!”

Filia squeezed herself, huddling her shoulders in, trembling with fear. Seriously, couldn’t she just read my mind to know there was no problem?

She sniffed. “Well then, at least say I’m cute.”

“What’re you talkin’ about?!”

“I’m talking about you repeating after me: Filia is super cute. There! Now, you try!”

Was she playing with me? Was she reading my mind, by chance? I shot her a narrow-eyed look.

“I-I’m not reading your mind. Okay?” said Filia.

She wasn’t, huh? But I hadn’t even said that out loud!

“Pwee-pfft-pshhh!” Filia whistled extremely badly in an attempt to change the subject.

“You know, you’re kind of unfortunate.”

“What are you talking about, Yuri?” asked Ashley, putting her hand on Filia’s shoulder.

I should’ve expected Ashley to back up her Big Sis. She always had been more attached to Filia than to me.

“A-Ashley!” Filia gasped, moved by the support. She was overjoyed to have Ashley standing beside her.

Eyes alight, Ashley declared, “Big Sis is the best kind of unfortunate!”

“Ashley?!” Filia reeled. She’d thought an ally had come to her aid in her darkest hour only to suffer a serious blow. Before my eyes, I saw Filia’s hit points reduced to zero.

As if to comfort her, Ashley put a hand on both of her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. “It’s all right, Big Sis. You know, I think you look better with smaller breasts!”

“Ack!” Filia crumpled to the floor from sheer mental anguish, as if her soul had left her body. Ashley had dealt her a decisive blow.

“Wow…that was surprisingly brutal, Ashley.”

“M-me? What was brutal about that?” She looked like a puzzled child.

She’d really unleashed a mortal blow by accident, huh? Amazing. She had a promising future ahead of her.

As for Filia, she shook her head and wobbled around on the floor for a little while, but she eventually managed to struggle back to her feet. Then, in a trembling voice, she made an announcement. “O-okay, listen here, everyone: I’m going to be going through a growth spurt real soon! I’m not giving up yet, you hear me?! I’m not giving up!”

At the sound of her voice, I was filled with a strange desire to get as far away as I could, as quickly as possible. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ashley felt the same. Yet the two of us stood there, paralyzed.

At last, a girl’s voice broke the silence. “Hey, do you have a minute?” said Loli Loli. “I have something I want to say.”

“Wh-what is it, Loli Loli?”

Loli Loli stood tall on her tiptoes and patted Filia lightly on the shoulder. “Love yourself as you are. You hear me?”

“That’s…a lot to hear from you,” said Filia. “I-I feel tears coming on…”

Fair, yeah. It was hard to imagine those words coming from the mouth of someone who looked like such a kid.

“Sorry to keep y’all waiting, they’re done,” said Moichi, coming back from the kitchen. He carefully held a tray in each arm, each with a number of circular baked goods on top of them. “They’re called ‘Donuts Sans Holes’! We’ve been makin’ them like this for generations now.” He held a tray out in front of us.

Sure enough, the pastries were all made of usual donut-type batter, but they didn’t have holes in their centers. Interesting…Donuts Sans Holes seemed like a weird way to put it, though.

“Whoa! We can really eat these?” asked Filia the minute the pastries were in front of her. And just like that, she’d recovered. Well, Filia was a foodie, so that wasn’t too surprising, especially with that delicious scent wafting right up to her nose.

“Yep, go ahead and eat up.”

“Well then, time to dig in…aaaaah, it’s so yummy!” Filia pressed her hands to her cheeks happily after just one bite.

Looked like it was tasty after all, huh? I decided to try it myself. I brought the donut up to my mouth, and a rich, full-bodied aroma gently tickled my nose. When I took a bite, the springy mouthfeel left me feeling utterly satisfied. Soft and springy.

“That’s good!”

“Yeah, it’s delicious like always! Moichi is really talented, after all.”

“I really am, aren’t I?” Moichi bowed happily, chef hat in hand.

“They’re wonderfully chewy. Super airy,” I said.

“They’re as soft as my marvelous elfy cheeks!” said Filia, beaming.

“Cheeks?” Ashley repeated. “I-I want to touch your cheeks, Big Sis!”

“Okay. Here.” Filia filled her cheeks with air, puffing them out. Ashley poked Filia’s cheek, her finger trembling with delight. At the touch, Ashley’s cheeks turned scarlet too, as she became even more delighted. Filia looked even happier at Ashley’s happiness, and—look, it was basically a perpetual motion machine of positivity.

“Hey, Yuri, I don’t get it,” said Loli Loli. “What’s so fun about this?”

“Beats me. Go ask the grown-ups.”

Loli Loli and I continued to munch on our Donuts Sans Holes while marveling at how easily those two entertained themselves.

“Okay!” said Ashley suddenly. “Now that we’ve finished, I think it’s about time we have a serious talk.”

Yeah, we couldn’t just hang around forever. It was about time that we started putting our information in order.

“Can I see that letter again?” asked Filia.

“Sure.”

Taking the letter from Moichi, Filia read the contents once again. Her eyes moved smoothly as she read, but they stopped suddenly as she focused on a specific part.

“This part right here, it troubles me,” Filia said. “‘This shop shouldn’t exist.’ What does that mean? Moichi, do you have any idea what you might have done to warrant such resentment?”

“No, not a clue. I mean, this village is pretty isolated from other villages, so our villagers have relatively strong bonds. Around here, everybody just works together, you know?”

He was right about that. The strength of those bonds were evident to me even as an outsider. Did that mean the culprit wasn’t a villager?

“Could it be someone from outside the village?” I asked.

Moichi shifted his gaze up as he racked his brain. Then he clapped his hands together with a slap. “Oh! Yeah, just yesterday, an unfamiliar man came to my shop!”

“Care to tell me about him?”

“Yeah, he was this unhealthy-looking fella in a black coat. He shoved the donuts he bought into his coat pocket after he bought ’em, so he left a pretty big impression, you know?”

An unhealthy-looking man with a black coat? Was that who I thought it was? I looked over at Filia, and Filia was looking over at me.

Javagiir. The S-Ranked adventurer we’d met back in the donut shop in Jeepupp. Could he have been the guy behind it?

No, it was hard to imagine that he would do something like this. He really seemed to love donuts, after all. If anything, he would probably go out of his way to help a donut shop. I glanced at Filia, and she nodded.

“Filia and I might have an idea who that coat guy is,” I said.

“Huh? Really?!” said Ashley, surprised.

“Yeah. We’ve only met him once, but he was quite the donut fan. He probably came here because he specifically heard tell of the donut shop in this village.”

“And you’re saying that he’s not the culprit?” asked Ashley.

“I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think he’s our guy. Still, he’s an S-Rank adventurer. If we tell him what’s going on, he might be able to help us guard the town.”

“Fortunately, we have money to cover that if we must,” said Filia, lifting up the bag of holding at her hip.

If Javagiir wasn’t willing to help us purely out of goodwill, he might sign on as part of a request. Getting an S-Rank adventurer to fulfill a request was pretty pricey, but the amount of cash we had saved meant it wouldn’t be a problem.

“No, I couldn’t ask you to do so much…” said Moichi.

Filia shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, all right? Ashley has always been good to us. This is our way of saying thank you.”

“Big Sis…”

I shook my head too. “If that’s not enough to convince you, then build a small household shrine and dangle from it to train your muscles while you worship muscle itself. If you do that, Moichi, you will be granted the divine protection of muscle.”

“Moichi, please just ignore whatever Yuri says,” said Filia.

Why?! I was just trying to be friendly and give him some advice. Jeez, young people these days.

“Wait, wouldn’t something like doing muscle training on a household altar normally be considered taboo?” asked Filia.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Muscle training is the purest act in the world. The altar would be pleased.”

“Are you serious?” asked Filia.

“Abso-positively.”

“I am completely unable to hide my bewilderment. You just responded in the affirmative with absolutely no hesitation …”

“A-anyway,” said Moichi with a slight grimace, “I’m really glad that you all are going to such lengths to protect my shop.”

Suddenly, Loli Loli shouted, a huffy expression on her face. “What about me? I don’t want to be left out!”

Oh, right—we’d put off explaining the situation to Loli Loli. We needed to give her a rundown of what was going on too.

“Moichi’s shop might get attacked,” said Ashley. “And we’re going to stop that from happening. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand! That means that you’re all great, right?” Loli Loli looked at us with sparkling eyes after hearing our story. She looked at us like we were heroes or something… “It’s not good to do bad things!” she added. “If you do bad things, then you need to be punished! I’ll help you! You should be honored!”

And, just like that, Loli Loli decided to throw in with us.