Chapter 4: The Grand Plan to Defeat Monsters While Gathering Medicinal Herbs

Chapter 4:
The Grand Plan to Defeat Monsters
While Gathering Medicinal Herbs

 

AFTER OUR LITTLE KERFUFFLE at the guild, we accepted a request to gather medicinal herbs and headed right back out of Astarte. The woods the request sent us to were almost nothing like the Forest of Death—like sure there were trees and stuff, but the place was geared more toward novice adventurers and filled with only your most boring garden-variety monsters.

Once we found a likely looking hunting ground, we crouched in the greenery and got to rooting around.

“Oh, there you are,” I said, plucking some of the herbs we were after.

Filia raised an eyebrow. “You found them awfully quickly, Yuri. Wasn’t that a little fast?”

“No, no. You just gotta sniff around. The scent always gives me a pretty good idea of where they’re hiding.”

This herb-harvesting quest sure was a cakewalk for me. After all, all those years in the forest I’d had to make do without any potions. Injuries could quickly turn fatal if you didn’t have an alternative source of healing, which for me had been herbs. You’ve just gotta know your medicinal plants if you’re going to be stuck in a deadly monstrous forest for a decade, you know? I mean, hypothetically. I never really got injured while I was there, but I was always ready just in case.

As for why medicinal herbs were ever required in a world with recovery magic, it seemed only a few people could cast those particular spells. You had to pay a high price to get one of them to help you out.

That was what Filia told me the day before back at the inn, anyway, puffing out her nonexistent chest and boasting to the heavens. So now here I was in the forest, digging up herbs and dealing with more of Filia’s confused looks.

“Excuse me,” she said, “but I thought medicinal herbs were flavorless and odorless?”

“Nothing smells like ‘nothing.’ Give it another whiff. You don’t think they have a slightly sweet smell?”

Filia sighed and shot me an exasperated look. “And you’re sure you’re a human, Yuri? Not even a dog can sniff out these herbs.”

“Well, how many dogs grew up in the Forest of Death? This is the least any forest-dweller could do.”

As my words reached Filia’s ears, they twitched slightly. “Oh really? I myself am a resident of the forest, and I refuse to lose to you!” she cried, her eyes burning with fiery pride.

“Wanna make it a contest?”

“You’re on!”

Thus did my Medicinal Herb Gathering Showdown with Filia begin. By evening, our one-on-one plant-grabbing extravaganza was still blazing forward!

Honestly I got more absorbed in our contest than I expected. Filia was quite the worthy opponent. Her speed was a near match for mine, as suited a proper denizen of the trees. Often, she spotted an herb I’d missed with a mere sideways glance.

She claimed this was the kind of skill that came to anyone who lived in the forest for years, but I dunno, that kind of lightning-quick herb identification seemed less like a “forest-living skill” and more like a “super elf skill.” And she had the gall to say I wasn’t human!

“Hm! My bag of holding’s nearly full. Perhaps we should call it here?” suggested Filia.

Made sense, so I agreed and we hunkered down to compare our findings.

“Welp, Filia, I have 140. You have 136. Looks like I win.”

By a slim margin, admittedly.

“Mrrrr… If I knew it was going to turn out like this, I would’ve bought a bigger bag back in Astarte! You only won because we happened to stop when you were in the lead. If we’d just had a little longer…” Filia bit her lip in frustration.

Wow, she really hated to lose, huh? Up until that moment, I hadn’t thought of her as the competitive type. She seemed so content to do everything at her own pace. Maybe it was because her pride as an elf was on the line now?

I shrugged. “Well, since we don’t have any more business in this forest, let’s head back.”

“Waaaah, waaaa haaaaa haaaaaa!” Filia abruptly burst into tears. Sprawling on the ground, she covered both of her eyes with her dainty hands.

It was a lot to take in, let me tell ya.

“W-waaah, waaaah! Wah, wah, wahhhhh!” Filia peeked at me through the gap between her fingers.

Suddenly, this indescribable awkwardness settled over us. Was I supposed to say something to her? I’d always lived alone, so…what was the right move here?

While I stood there in silence, Filia opened her mouth. “Yuri, this is the part where you comfort me.”

So that was what she wanted, to the point where she’d put on a weird, unconvincing tantrum. Filia’s childish side had struck again. She took another glance at me through the gap in between her fingers. Okay, “unconvincing” might’ve been too much of a compliment for this performance.

“Well, to be perfectly honest,” I said, “I think it wouldn’t be odd at all if I’d lost to you. You were amazing, Filia.”

“Eh he he.”

On hearing that, a smile bloomed on Filia’s face. She was way too predictable…then again, her sudden turn to delight made me feel a bit awkward still. “Our mission is complete! Let’s head home, herb-buddy!”

“Sure.”

Odd as Filia’s instant recovery seemed, I followed her from behind as always…

At which point a monster leaped out of the tall grass to our right. I recognized its type in an instant. Sure, it was only about the size of a puppy, but it had considerable strength in its forelegs and it was lunging right at Filia.

“Hooah!” A punch from me…

“Haah!” A lightning bolt from her…

“Skreee!” Splorsh…put it together and you get one exploding monster.

“Yuri, can’t you use any kind of magic that’s less…potent?” Filia winced at my right hand.

Yeah, I got what she was getting at. The annihilating strength of my blow meant there were no materials left to harvest. But it wasn’t like I had alternatives.

“Maybe I would if I could, but I don’t have the talent for any magic but muscle magic. I can’t even use practical magic, to be honest.”

Every single other kind of magic was impossibly out of reach for me—and that didn’t seem likely to change any time in the future either. After all…

Filia clapped as if she had just thought of something. “Ah, that reminds me—you don’t have any magical energy, do you, Yuri? Even though magic is ineffective against you, you aren’t able to use it yourself. Doesn’t that feel like an incredibly astonishing waste of talent?”

“Muscle magic is magic though, you know?”

Filia snorted. “If that were recognized as magic, it would mark the end of arcane studies.”

“I see. You’re saying that if people got muscles like mine, it could completely close the book on the history of the study of magic, as it would render the whole field worthless.” I flexed thoughtfully.

“That’s—no, that’s not what I meant at all, that’s not it at all!”

Though we bickered a bit, Filia and I managed to finish our first request safely.

 

***

 

A few days later, Filia and I were undertaking yet another request to gather medicinal herbs—I know, I know, I was kinda done with it too—but something about this beginner forest’s atmosphere felt off.

“Filia, something’s strange, right?”

“Hm. Yes, I believe so. Something happened here. There’s an unusually high amount of residual magic energy,” said Filia, looking grave.

We could both sense it, and whatever “it” was seemed formidable.

“That’s amazin’. Being able to sense residual magical energy and all.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just one of the endless perks of being an elf. How did you notice the abnormality, Yuri?”

“Intuition.” I sniffed. “Smells different than usual, too.”

“Ha! And you call me amazing!”

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. A mysterious presence wafting through the air… Argh, I wanted to travel through this wide world even more! And I wanted to try fighting some strong baddies, too! We just had to muddle through E-Rank first, where they didn’t even assign monster-hunting requests.

The only way to solve that problem all in one go was to lay low and enact my grand plan: “Project Grand Plan to Defeat Monsters While Gathering Medicinal Herbs.”

“Yuri, I forbid you from naming anything whatsoever again for the rest of your natural life so help me Gods.”

“Hey, don’t peek into my mind! So rude…”

Ugh, Filia and her Telepathy. Anyway, back to the matter at hand: this strange presence. It didn’t feel like your usual beginner-forest kind of monster. That probably meant we really needed to defeat it. After all, what other option did we have?

“Walking around and looking for it would be a pain in the butt,” I said. “Let’s fly a little.”

“Fly? Yuri, what are you—eeeek!”

I flew.

My body gradually rose through the air, higher and higher, until I was soaring beyond the tree-tops. I took a quick survey to locate the monster—aaand there it was.

The first thing I noticed was its surprisingly long neck. Even standing on all fours, the beastie was almost the same height as the trees—over thirty feet tall, easily. Maybe it was trying to camouflage itself with its surroundings: its body was the same shade of light brown as the local bark, while its neck and up matched the deep green of the leaves. Its face was covered in shaggy green fur and something yellow sprouted from the top of its head, a banana-lookin’ horn kinda thing. After getting a good, long look to make sure I knew where it was, I dropped back down to the ground.

“Found it, Filia.”

“Oh, marvelous, yes, very good, but what on earth was that?”

“What was…? Oh! I flew.”

“Uh huh.” Filia gripped her temples.

“If you keep kicking the air before you fall, you can fly, right? That’s basically it, in layman’s terms.”

“Ohhhh. I see. I perfectly understand that what you just said was completely absent of any explanation whatsoever.” Filia sighed through her teeth.

But when I told Filia about the monster I’d spied, her expression stiffened. “Hm. That’s…that sounds like a brokirin. I don’t remember everything about it exactly, but I believe it’s supposed to be a B-Rank monster.”

According to Filia, the brokirin was a monster that attacked by repeatedly swinging its long neck. More importantly, it was highly dangerous, to the point that its mere presence could completely upend the forest’s local habitat.

“Worse yet, any beginner adventurer who came upon it would no doubt be killed. I suppose we have no choice but to exterminate the awful thing. Ah, what an unprofitable job…”

“Enh, looks strong. I’m psyched.”

Anticipation coursed through my body. My heart pounded, my blood raced. Alive. That’s what I was feeling, like I was really alive. Existing in the moment, brimming with life!

“Okay, can you cut down on that battle-freak idiot monologue?”

“C’mon, we’re finally gonna face off against an opponent where we can really go all out and hit them with everything we’ve got. Feel that power! Breathe in your destiny!”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

How did she not get it? “Good grief, Filia, this is why you’re so wei—”

“You’re joking; I’m the weird one here?” she balked, wide-eyed.

Well, obviously—anyone logical, anyone with common sense could recognize I was in the right. Ehh, maybe she just needed time to think it through.

“Never mind, let’s not do this right now. What is our plan, Yuri? Shall we decide on a strategy?”

“Hmm… All right, how about this time around I show you the essence of my muscle magic?” I replied, crossing my arms.

“So you’re saying I won’t be doing anything at all. Is there anything I can help with?” she asked.

“Nope!”

“Fine then, I’ll watch you from a distance. I do have good eyesight. Which direction is it coming from?”

“About forty-five degrees to the left, diagonally.”

“Understood. I suppose I’ll watch from atop this tree.”

As Filia said so, she floated up, up, up into the foliage until she perched like a bird on one of the topmost branches of a nearby tree. Wind magic was pretty versatile, huh? I couldn’t imitate that with my muscle magic, and it sure looked convenient.

“Ah, I see it…” she murmured. “Wow, it’s huge, isn’t it?”

“Yup. All right, I’m going.”

“Oh, and Yuri?” Just as I was about to rush away, Filia called out to me and stopped me in my tracks. “Do your best. Please don’t die.”

“No worries. I’m going on a rampage,” I said with a thumbs up and a sharp animal smile.

At full speed, I took off into the forest, heading straight for the brokirin. Its presence was strong and clear, and before long there it was, looming in front of me like a nasty ol’ nightmare tree.

“Wow. You sure are a big fella up close.”

The brokirin sensed I was a threat—the second it saw me, it started gathering gold-green streams of magical energy in its mouth.

“That’s what I like to see! Bring it, big boy!”

I drew my right hand back, just a bit. That was all I needed. Even that spare movement threw the brokirin into a panic. It had to be pretty strong, to sense the danger of my muscle magic upon first glance. Pretty good eyes, at least.

With a rumbling roar, the brokirin swung its massive neck like a great green pendulum, then raised its head up high to hammer it back down. Me? I stood my ground and took the attack head-on.

Always good to know what you’re dealing with.

“Whaaaa?!” I blocked with my left arm but that thing nearly pounded me into the dirt! It was surprisingly powerful. Guess I’d have to take it seriously.

Trembling with joy, I shucked the limiter in my mind. Power flowed from the depths of my body as my form shifted and changed and an overwhelming might spread through my every cell.

“Sorry, ya jerkass giraffe. Looks like I can’t take it easy on you.”

The brokirin faced me directly, stood tall, and opened its mouth to blast me with a torrent of magic. I had no idea what was coming—probably a wind magic bullet or something. At the first detection of wind movement, I could evade, but you know what? I didn’t need to. I firmed up my stance and took the brokirin’s second attack head-on as well.

Sharp gusts of wind barreled into me, chapping my cheeks and biting into my flesh. I grinned up at the brokirin, unscathed.

“Pretty nice, pretty nice. Cute, even. If you’d turned that on anyone but me, I guess that would be the end of it, eh? All right, Filia, are you watching closely?” I glanced up at her and her tree-perch. “I’ll show you just how amazing my muscle magic is.”

As I spoke, I channeled oceans of might into my right arm. The brokirin, once more sensing danger, swung its neck down on me like a wrecking ball, but—too little, too late, you overgrown vegetable.

“Eat this,” I said, and took a swing.

I punched through the air. Didn’t hit the brokirin directly, but with my limiter released, that punch was anything but your ordinary thrust. I’d trained my fists day and night, night and day, and I could surpass the speed of sound.

A tremendous shockwave roared out from my punch, heading straight for the brokirin.

With a brutal snap, the brokirin’s body exploded into pieces, scattering all over the forest. The only part of it that remained intact was its head, which rolled a couple of feet before flopping unceremoniously onto a clover patch. Fragmented pieces of the brokirin’s remains fluttered in midair like falling petals.

“Huh? Did I overdo it?” I muttered.

Wouldn’t have thought something like that mean green broccoli machine could be so totally annihilated. I mean, the only thing left was its head. Oof. Well, a pass is a pass.

I do have a name for that punch that exceeds the sound barrier—I call it the “Pistol Punch.” It’s practically the only long-range spell at my disposal, given that my magic depends on muscle-contact. (By the way, a “pistol” is a certain kind of magic tool—you probably haven’t heard of it, so I thought I’d better clarify.)

I examined the brokirin’s head laying on the ground. Put up a good fight, I’d say! So that was a B-Rank bogey, huh? In that case, an S-Rank monster would definitely be stronger than me. That meant I’d have to get going on even more intense training. My path set, I headed back to Filia, grinning my head off and ecstatic as could be.

“Yo, Filia, I didn’t die.”

“Welcome ba—eek! Yuri, what’s wrong with your left arm? Show it to me!”

Huh. It was a little swollen, I guess—I hadn’t really noticed. Probably from that first hammer attack I let the brokirin hit me with. Taking on that attack while in my normal form had maybe been a little too reckless. Okay, okay, I got a little careless. Something to reflect on.

Filia grabbed my arm with her small, soft hands and frowned. As she did, my arm was enveloped in a gentle white light that shone bright for a moment then faded away. By the time it was gone, my arm had returned to normal.

“Okay. That should be good.”

“Oh wow, thanks! You really are amazing. Do I owe you anything for that?”

“You’re kidding me. There’s no way I’d stoop to taking money from a comrade, especially since we already split the reward for requests.”

“Filia, you’re a good person.”

“No—no, you don’t. Ugh, shut uuuuuup.”

You never knew if she was going to be happy or furious when you praised her, huh. Not quite as cute as you’d think.

“If I might ask, Yuri, what was that last attack? It looked like you made the brokirin, err…explode?”

“That technique? My Pistol Punch. Amazin’, huh? The force of my punch was just like, BLAM!”

Filia nodded slowly, looking either doubtful or resigned.

“BLAM!” I added for emphasis.

She let out a long, put-upon sigh. “Yuri, I completely understand that you are a being that somehow exists outside the realm of common sense.”

“That guy was pretty tough, though. So my motivation was crashing through the roof, like—CRAKOOM!”

“And why was your motivation so high?” asked Filia, and winced like she’d just lit the fuse to a bomb.

Ah. That was right. Because I’d taken care of it, Filia didn’t fight the brokirin. No wonder she seemed so down.

“Sorry. Listen, I know you wanted a piece of that big lug too. How ’bout I teach you a good way to train your muscles and we’ll call it even?”

“You really did just say that with a straight face, hmm? What am I going to do with you, you muscle-brained meathead?”

“Aw shucks, please don’t praise me like that, it’s embarrassin’.”

And Filia let out the loudest sigh yet.

 

***

 

After we returned from the forest, we rushed to the Astarte guild to report our encounter with the brokirin. Such an out-of-place monster in a forest often visited by novice adventurers could be bad news, after all. Once we got to the guild, we headed straight for the receptionist counter.

“There was a brokirin in the forest?!”

“Yup. Take a look, we even have monster materials.”

I showed the panicked receptionist the yellow thing I’d plucked from the brokirin’s lolling head. Boy was I glad that it didn’t completely explode without leaving anything behind at all. If I didn’t have proof, the receptionist not only might not believe me, she might think I was trying to pull one over on her.

“Y-yes, this does look like the fruit that grows atop the brokirin’s head.” The receptionist nodded sharply. “We are sincerely grateful for you reporting this information to us.”

In a flash, the receptionist girl dashed to the room behind the counter, disappearing from view. I lingered by the counter and scratched the nape of my neck. This seemed pretty urgent after all. It didn’t look like she was rushing to get me in trouble or anything, so I could probably relax.

It occurred to me then that while things were slow, I could take care of selling the materials. I made for the counter on the opposite side of the guild, but I’d barely taken a step when someone called out to me.

“Excuse me, fella, do you have a minute?”

The person behind me was a sharp-looking man with a full head of spiky blond hair. For all his wild features, he looked to be no more than twenty years old or so.

“Who’re you?” I asked.

This guy…was overflowing with sheer power. The monsters in the Forest of Death? Dust motes in his piercing blond hair. The brokirin? A midday snack.

“Oh, me? Heh. I’m Babandongas. I’m an adventurer just like you and the little missy over there,” said the man matter-of-factly. “That’s a real nice lookin’ monster part you got right there. How about you sell it to me? I’ll pay you for it, properly.”

“Why should I do that?”

“Ah, well… See, I got me a kid sister. Her birthday’s comin’ right up, and wouldn’t you know, I’m almost outta time to get her a gift. The fruit on top of the brokirin’s head is called an ‘overhead fruit’ but it ain’t nothin’ of the sort. We’re talking a high-quality magic stone here. As luck would have it, my kid sister happens to like stones of the magical variety. More unfortunately, they’re a bit of a pain to find, so you don’t see an opportunity like this often.” Babandongas vigorously scratched his spiky hair, perhaps to hide his embarrassment.

Hm. He didn’t seem to be lying. I couldn’t detect any ill will, either.

“What do you think, Filia?”

She shrugged. “It’s fine with me. Besides, it’s not mine to sell in the first place.”

“In that case, I’m good with it, too,” I replied. If Filia and her Telepathy said it was fine, then it was definitely fine. I handed the monster’s fruit over to Babandongas.

“Really? I can’t thank you enough!” he exclaimed.

With that, we traded the stone for a good amount of cash.

Babandongas went on as he counted out our pay: “You seriously helped me out here. My kid sister, she’s really been buggin’ me about this magic stone. I even went into that Forest of Death—you know the one, pretty vicious—to hunt down some monsters, but I couldn’t get my hands on a single good one. There was talk that there’s an ultra-strong humanoid monster living deep in the forest there, too, but I never saw anything of that sort. All talk, I figure.”

After saying his piece, Babandongas turned on his heel and headed out of the guild, brimming with delight.

“Can I ask you one thing before you go?” I called out.

“Hm? What is it?” Babandongas turned to face us.

I pointed to his spiky head of hair. “Your head looks like it’s erupting. Are you okay?”

“Ah, nah! It’s just a hairstyle, man, nothin’ more!”

And with that, our business was done. We left the guild and returned to the inn.

“That man looked quite strong, wouldn’t you say?” Filia mused.

“Yeah. He might be even stronger than me.”

If I were still living in the forest, I probably wouldn’t have encountered anyone with anywhere close to that level of power. What else could be out there in the wide, dangerous world? I could hardly wait to find out!

“That look on your face again?” Filia ran a hand down her cheek. “The battle-loving idiot is daydreaming again, I see.”

“I’m not a battle-loving idiot. Call me the Great Muscle Fanboy.”

“A muscle fanboy,” said Filia flatly. “You really think that sounds any better, do you?”

“Mu-SCLE, Mu-SCLE!”

“Okay, so to be perfectly clear, now you’re just chanting the word muscle. That’s not communication. That’s just the word muscle. And you’re…you’re still doing it. There’s nothing there, Yuri, it is just the word muscle, please use your words, I am going to lose my mind.”

Ah, Filia! Being unable to understand Muscle Talk just meant she had a long way to go in the art of muscle training. I had faith in her: if anyone could learn the lingo, it was my sharp elven buddy.