Prologue: Natsuki Takeuchi is Definitely Crazy

“Would you go out with me?” Takashi Jonouchi asked, without a hint of nervousness in his voice. He was confident that he would not be refused.

They were standing behind the gym at Prefectural Seishin High School. It was the most common place for students to ask other students out, and Takashi saw no reason to deviate from this practice. He didn’t need an ostentatious display to get attention. “By the book” would work well enough for him.

He had everything a girl could possibly want: good looks, good grades, and fabulous wealth. Of course, one girl had rejected his advances previously, but he had taken that as a learning experience, and studied diligently since then.

“I’m sorry... Could I ask you one little question?” the girl asked.

Takashi’s initial shock that he had been turned down flat became relief as she continued.

The name of the girl, standing there with head cocked in puzzlement, was Natsuki Takeuchi. She was famous as one of the most beautiful girls in the first-year class.

She wasn’t just “cute” like most high school girls. She was genuinely beautiful, with an air of maturity that was lacking in most girls of her age. She had short-cropped hair and cold eyes, and never flirted, which could easily lead one to believe that she was arrogant about her appearance.

“Sure, what do you want to ask?”

“Who are you?”

She doesn’t even know who I am?! Takashi thought, so forcefully that he only barely managed to keep himself from saying it out loud.

In the interest of surprising her, he had sent her an invitation to meet him without using his name. Perhaps he had merely been arrogant.

“R-Right. Forgive me, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Takashi Jonouchi.”

He restrained himself from appending, “You really don’t know who I am?” Even he knew that that would sound pompous.

“Okay, Jonouchi. So? Where, concretely, am I supposed to go with you? As I’ve never met you before, I have no idea what this might be regarding.”

Takashi was dumbstruck. Did she really not know what he meant by “go out with me”? That was the kind of silly misunderstanding that happened in manga, not real life.

Maybe she’s feeling shy and trying to deflect the subject? No... probably not...

Natsuki’s expression suggested total sincerity.

“What I meant was, I want you to be my girlfriend. What do you think?” he asked, trying to take her in good faith.

“By girlfriend, you mean, you want a romantic relationship? I’ve never been in one of those, so I’m uncertain as to what exactly it entails. I have some ideas of what a girlfriend does, but they might not line up with your own, so could I ask for more detail about what it is that you expect? I can’t exactly give a proper answer to something I don’t fully understand.”

Is she making fun of me? Takashi was starting to think she was more trouble than she was worth, but he didn’t want to give up on her quite that easily.

“Well... we’d call each other, we’d email each other... we’d go on dates...” Takashi stammered as he tried to explain. He had vague ideas about what girlfriends did, but he was finding it was hard to put that into precise words.

“Dates... that means going out into town and eating things together, right? And you call and email each other, too... and that’s fun?”

Is she suggesting that she doesn’t find that fun? Takashi thought, starting to feel paranoid.

“Of course,” he continued, smoothly. “Any man would be happy to spend time with a beautiful girl like you.” He decided this might be a good place for some flattery. One of Takashi’s core beliefs was that Japanese men were not good at complimenting women. The ability to do this effortlessly, then, was an important skill.

“So if I become your girlfriend, we’ll go out together, eat food, and call and email each other... and that’s all I have to do?”

“Yes, that’s right. You’re just asking to make sure we’re on the same page, right?”

“Yes. I think it’s very important. Becoming a girlfriend is like forging a contract, so it’s important to get everything clear before you agree to it. The image I associate with a romantic relationship is physical contact, but are you saying you don’t require that?”

“W-Well...” Takeshi stammered again.

Of course, that was Takashi’s ultimate objective, and the dating was just a way to get there, but you couldn’t just admit to that from the start. You had to go down a lot of annoying side roads to get the girl in the mood.

“Shall I assume that you don’t want to have sex with me?”

Her casual use of the word caused Takashi to freeze up at first, but it faded after a moment. Perhaps this was for the best. If they were both interested in the same thing, why fight it?

“No, I do want to have sex with you.”

It was then that Natsuki smiled at him for the first time. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Huh?” Takashi asked, confused. That was not the response he was expecting.

The next moment, her beautifully proportioned face drew in close to his. They seemed about to collide, but the next minute, her face was gone, and he felt her behind him.

Her breath tickled the back of his neck and the faint, feminine aroma caused his heart to race.

“See... You just smell awful to me... Did you know that people prefer the smell of members of the opposite sex who have immune systems different from theirs on a genetic level? Which means our immune systems may be similar... I’ve heard the instinct is there to prevent incest, but I don’t know if it’s true.”

She was so close to him... This could be his chance. He could turn around and continue his confession. He could embrace her and whisper words of love...

But he did nothing but stand there.

“Huh? Isn’t that Takeuchi?”

“Sakaki, don’t look! At times like these, the polite thing to do is to pretend you don’t see!”

The nearby sound of a young man and woman’s voices snapped Takashi back to reality — how long had he been standing there? — as they came around the corner of the gym. Judging from their uniforms, they were students of Seishin High School, just like Takashi.

Natsuki must have known them, because she swiftly began walking in their direction. All Takashi could do was watch in astonishment.

“Well, I should be going,” she said. “That’s right, I forgot to give you a proper answer. Sorry, but I can’t go out with you.”

Natsuki didn’t even turn back. It was as though she had no interest at all.

Takashi could do nothing but stare after her in a daze as she left.

Then she latched on to the approaching boy.

“Whoa, where did that come from? Get off me!”

“H-Hey, Takeuchi! What are you doing?”

“Yes, you smell so much better, Sakaki!” Natsuki buried her face in the boy’s neck.

All of the coldness in her voice had vanished, and she sounded like any ordinary girl her age.

Sakaki...

Up until that point, this had all been acceptable. All he had been doing was trying to make a move on a beautiful girl, and she had turned him down. That should have been the end of it. But not now. He couldn’t simply give up now.

What the hell is going on?

Jealousy welled up in Takashi’s heart despite his attempts to suppress it.

You’ve gotta be kidding! Who do you think you are? He began to step forward, threateningly... then stopped dumb again as he recognized the other girl who was with him.

“Takeuchi! It’s one thing to turn a boy down, but at least try to show a little consideration...”

Isn’t that... Aiko Noro?

Takashi’s mind immediately went blank. An unpleasant sweat was forming on his forehead.

Aiko Noro was the only other girl who had ever rejected him. The only two women who had ever blown him off were both getting friendly with one other man.

And how did Takashi fit into this diagram?

“Dammit!” he shrieked as he went running off. This sort of humiliation was far beyond his ability to deal with.