Captain – Chapter 358 – Why a Fleeting Thought

“Why aren’t you going back to your room?”

The familiar footsteps sounded from behind, followed by an equally familiar, reassuringly calm question.

“Thinking about some things.”

Roy turned slightly, leaning against the ship’s railing, and smiled at the approaching First Mate, realizing that this scene had seemingly occurred many times before.

Whenever she had troubles, he would appear beside her, whether in cold rain and wind or amid gunpowder and blood.

This feeling was good, yet it also made her more uneasy.

“Caine, I want some alcohol.”

Suppressing her complicated thoughts, the Captain smiled and spoke quite matter-of-factly, like a spoiled cat.

Since the former officer had changed from being her personal First Mate to the Mermaid’s First Mate, she had rarely made such… personal, coquettish requests of him, perhaps not wanting to burden him further.

Until tonight, this surprising yet unsettling night, she had shown that lazy, carefree demeanor after a long absence, expressing closeness through a deliberate manner, as if commanding a servant.

As if… she wanted him to take care of her one last time.

Why aren’t you going?

Seeing the First Mate standing silently with no intention of moving, Roy blinked, quite puzzled, thinking she had hinted clearly enough.

“Again?”

After some time, the young man spoke expressionlessly.

The young woman became increasingly confused, making a questioning “Ah?” sound. Before she could say anything else, he grabbed her wrist, holding it tightly, just like at Frans Island when they left that tavern.

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As if saying, I won’t let go.

Except that time, he was worried she might hurt someone, but this time, he didn’t want to repeat past mistakes, didn’t want to… let her leave again.

“What are you doing?”

Feeling the force on her wrist, though still confused, Roy at least understood his determination. After a tentative struggle, she allowed him to hold on, asking with a wry smile.

“Captain, are you planning to leave alone again?”

Caine’s tone was flat, with no discernible emotion.

Hearing this, Roy was slightly stunned, then completely understood. She raised her other hand in a “surrender” gesture: “Misunderstanding, a huge misunderstanding. In this miserable wind and rain, without even a place to land, where could I run to?”

Seeing this, the First Mate’s expression eased slightly, but quickly turned stern again due to her next carefree remark.

“Besides, if I were to run, I’d wait until we reached Satin Island…”

Feeling pain in her gripped wrist, the Captain changed her tune: “No, no, no, what are you talking about? I never thought about running!”

After another round of pleading, the young man finally released her hand, though his expression remained unpleasant, like a lion that had been startled awake.

“I really just wanted a bottle of alcohol. How did you come to that conclusion?”

Rubbing her somewhat pale wrist, Roy’s expression was also slightly grave, though the worry in her eyes had diminished considerably after this commotion.

“It’s your fault. You’ve fooled me too many times. When I see you like this, it reminds me of those past troubles.”

Knowing which incidents the young man was referring to, Roy felt somewhat guilty. However, hearing him shift all the blame onto her, even though she was in the wrong, she still forcefully rebutted: “How is this my fault? In my view, it’s your old habit acting up again.”

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“Old habit?” Caine repeated with slight bewilderment.

“Concern leads to confusion, concern leads to confusion. I’ve said it many times. Even if you… suspect me, you should consider the current situation, at least provide evidence, right? Otherwise, isn’t it just outright slander and defamation?”

Roy argued righteously, secretly rejoicing, thinking that if she were truly determined, would she have left any evidence?

“I’ll go get the alcohol.”

Knowing he couldn’t win the argument, Caine didn’t respond further. He turned and walked toward the wooden door leading to the cabin, leaving only a calm remark.

Though it felt like punching cotton, making the young woman uncomfortable for a while, she knew she had won this argument again and couldn’t help grinning, quite pleased with herself.

The First Mate didn’t go for long, seemingly still harboring hidden concerns.

Taking the wine bottle handed to her by the young man, Roy deftly pulled out the wooden cork, casually tossing it into the dark icy sea. After taking a small sip, she heard the First Mate’s somewhat anxious breathing and shrugged, saying: “There’s no need. I really won’t run.”

“Your promises have never been reliable.”

Caine also leaned against the ship’s railing, opened the cork, and took a drink, then coughed several times due to the rum’s strength, his face reddening considerably: “Tell me, what were you thinking about?”

Originally planning to refute the young man’s “defamation,” but then realizing her own trustworthiness was indeed lacking, Roy felt somewhat embarrassed. Seeing him offering a way out, she quickly said: “Just those troubles with the Box.”

Seeing that she was still worrying about this journey, the First Mate frowned slightly and asked: “But didn’t you say you had already made your decision?”

Just recently, on that large bed in the Captain’s quarters, she had declared so resolutely that she was done, no longer working for the devil, and unwilling to help the Lady either. Naturally, she was following Admiral Isaac’s wishes.

If so, what was there to worry about?

“You really do trust him.”

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Knowing what the First Mate was thinking, Roy pursed her lips and said: “You must understand, regardless of who he really is—whether a pirate traitor or an Auran hero—to us, he has always been an outsider.”

“And an outsider’s sweet words are the least trustworthy.”

Though feeling that Admiral Isaac was not one to break promises, since this was the Captain’s attitude, Caine didn’t say anything more, only asking: “So, Captain, you still think he’s untrustworthy?”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly.”

Roy swirled the bottle and explained softly: “Everything has multiple aspects; you can’t generalize. Even if I’m willing to support him, I can’t possibly trust him completely and be without vigilance. Only a fool would do that.”

“Moreover, it’s precisely because of his attitude toward me, toward the Siren, and his passionate feelings for the world’s living beings, that I can’t help but be wary of him.”

“What kind of reasoning is that?”

Never having heard such an argument and not readily accepting it, the First Mate couldn’t help but ask.

In his view, it was precisely the love for all beings in the world, or rather humanity, and the unwavering determination to sacrifice oneself for the greater good, that was the most important reason why Admiral Isaac deserved respect and trust.

How had this become a threat in the Captain’s eyes?

“Being emotional and sentimental can be quite fatal.”

Tilting her head back for a drink, Roy wiped the alcohol from the corner of her mouth and looked at the puzzled First Mate, smiling as she asked: “Caine, if—and I’m saying if—there came a day when I became an existence like the devil, what would you do?”

No answer, only the sound of rain.

As if having anticipated this result, the Captain smiled indifferently and continued: “If there truly came a moment when you held the Box and the key, and had to choose between me and the entire world, who would you… choose?”

Still no answer; the rain sound seemed more quiet.

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Was this such a difficult question?

For someone like Roy who follows her heart and is sufficiently ruthless, this question wasn’t difficult, because in her eyes, a person closer to her, even just one, would outweigh millions of people in the world.

So the choice would be simple, clear, and cold.

But Caine was different.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love her, nor was it because he was too rational to the point of indifference.

Quite the opposite. It was precisely because he was too sentimental, deeply loved his country and the people of Auran, and had a strong sense of responsibility, that he was troubled by the greater good and found it difficult to decide.

Or rather, no matter which outcome, he would be deeply pained, unable to extricate himself.

“See, isn’t it difficult to choose, or perhaps impossible to choose?”

Roy asked in a light tone, a cunning look appearing in her eyes, like a fox pleased with a successful prank, delighting in it. But Caine knew she was just trying to dispel that gloomy, oppressive atmosphere that made it hard for him to breathe.

As if saying, it’s fake, it’s all fake, don’t think about it.

“That’s why the power of emotion is truly great.”

The Captain lowered her eyelids, looking at the indeterminate level of alcohol in the bottle, and said softly: “I imagine hundreds of years ago, when Admiral Isaac departed from love for the sake of the greater good, he must have been very pained, even regretful.”

“Perhaps, just like you, he couldn’t make a choice at all, until a fleeting thought suddenly arose when the final moment approached.”

“So who knows, this time, where will his fleeting thought lead?”