My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister Chapter 11

The Third Life and Thereafter – 3

“I want you to protect my littlesister.”

WhenI said that, Crow just tilted his head while making a wondering expression.Then, while keeping this pose, he inquired,

“Why?”

“Because I want to protect her.”

WhenI answered, he bent his neck even more. That movement looked somewhat strange.Because he was coiled in black robes, he looked like a magician or a life-sizepuppet.

RecentlyCross came to my room every day without fail. Unlike the first time he invadedwithout permission, he conscientiously knocks the window glass with his beckand waits for me to open it, however, I still didn’t know how he managed topass through the iron grid. If my eyes wander away from him for a mere instant,before I knew it the next second he stands in the middle of the room. And atthe same time he has taken his human form.

“…Well, alright. Since you desireso.”

Crowwho laughed and made a small smile was bewitching. The unreadable andartificial expression he was making was somewhat similar to Soleil’s, but Ithought it looked more human, and that unbalanced reminded me that I didn’tknow the true nature of this being. To put it badly, I wonder if you could sayhe seemed eerie.

“But it’s strange. Why do youtreasure that little sister so much?”

Walkingmeaninglessly around the room, his appearance as he was rampaging through thedresser and the bookshelf like it was no big deal was not so different from thetime he was a bird. That’s why I felt it proved that bird and that man were thesame being.

“Don’t you think a little sister isan existence that should be cherished?”

WhenI answered this, Crow threw himself on the bed I was sitting and laughed.

“Right, I guess so. But you know,that, I think it’s a sophism.”

“A sophism?”

“Yup. Saying ‘since she’s a littlesister, she must be treasured’, it’s only a fragment of the truth.”

Ithink he is older than me. But according to what I saw, I also had the hunch hewas considerably younger. If you looked closely, his features were those of ayoung boy, but at the second you thought so, he would show a mature expression.I truly think he was a mysterious man.

“You like your fiancé, right? Isn’tshe your love rival?”

Theman who was slumped on the bed said so while raising his almond eyes.

“… Have I told you aboutSoleil-sama?”

“No. But I can tell just bywatching.”

Crowraised a cheerful laugher. I really wonder from where he was watching. At leastI’ve never exchanged words with Soleil in front of him. In the first place,Crow appeared in the middle of the night, and because he came only to my room,even if he said he was watching me I actually didn’t feel it was the case.Maybe during day time, he was taking a different form? I thought about askinghim, but I suddenly realized he wasn’t the kind of man who would obediently andhonestly answered such a question.

“Saying 'it's because she’s my rivalin love' won’t become enough of a reason to not cherish her…”

Atleast that was the case for me. For me who knew what would happen from now on,I had a reason to treasure her. This time too it was the same. In order to notlose my little sister, I’ll do the things that must be done. That was it. Andso, I will use the things that can be used. Just like last time.

“Moreover, didn’t you say thatcompensation will be unnecessary? That you’ll lend me your hand.”

“Well, I certainly said so. I don’tneed any reward. Reward in monetary term that is.”

“…”

“Don’t make that face. I’ll fulfilmy promise. … But I haven’t heard your answer.”

Crowwho abruptly rose up put his head on my lap, behaving like a spoiled child.

“However, I want a motive.”

“… A motive?”

“A motive for me to make a move.”

Thesilent air froze. I felt it. It was neither warm nor cold, so to speak, it waslike I was pierced by a pair of eyes that were like two pitch black stones. Itwas as if they were telling me they wouldn’t allow me to evade the question.

“… … Just once.”

“…hm?”

“Once, my life was saved by mylittle sister.”

That’sright. And so, I can hardly leave my little sister. I’m feeling indebted toher. I’ve the obligation to protect that frail little sister.

“In my childhood, there was a time Iwas about to be kicked by the horse I was taking care of.”

Isaid I was taking care of it, but it’s not like I was earnestly doing it. Fromtime to time I would go to the stables to take a breather from my studies, andthen I would assist the stable boy but only to the degree of landing a hand. Inreality you could say I was in the way of his work. I thought so at that timetoo. And so, everybody who was there at that time was careless. Usually it wasa docile horse, nobody thought such a thing would happen. The stable boy wasalso beside me, holding the horse’s bridle. That’s why, nobody expected thehorse to raise its front feet, frightened by me who had stumbled upon a stone andfell down in front of it.

… … Bigsister!

I clearlyremember the hands of my young little sister that covered my back. My littlesister hadn’t been here from the beginning, she simply happened to be passingnearby by chance. As usual she had been sick and confined in bed until a fewdays before, and probably because it wasn’t good to always stay shut in herroom, her maids brought her out for a walk as a light exercise. There, shecaught sight of me who was about to be kicked by the horse. Really, it onlyhappened coincidentally. Then she tried to protect me as much as she could.

The horseneighed and his huge figure over us drew near. I, who couldn’t even movebecause of fear, was protected by my very, very small little sister. At thecritical moment, if the stable boy who noticed the situation hadn’t pull on thebridle, my little sister’s head would surely have been kicked by the horse. Itprobably wouldn’t have ended well.

“… That’s all?”

Crowwho was listening to my story showed a dumbfounded expression.

“… … Yes, that’s all.”

But“that” was more than enough. In those days, because my sickly little sister hadbeen isolated most of the time, I had barely exchanged any words with her atall. Even though some distance was born because she was a little sister from adifferent mother, since we were physically separated, there were even lessoccasions to come in contact. I knew I had a little sister, but I wasn’tstrongly aware of her existence. Whether she was here or not, I thought it wasthe same. And yet. That child, called me “big sister” and tried to protect me.To the point of wholeheartedly using her whole body.

“In short, you were moved by herkindness.”

“… Right. Maybe that’s the case.”

Silviaprotected me on the spur of the moment, when she came back to herself and sawwe were both safe, she was trembling a little. She tightly shrank herexcessively helpless and slender limbs and clang to me, crying it had beenscary. That’s why I embraced that body while making a vow. I swore I wouldprotect that small and frail little sister. The next time something wouldhappen, I thought I should protecther.

Andyet.

“… … Ahah, good. It’s good, verygood.”

Apair of pitch black eyes looked toward me. I didn’t know what he was thinking,but his sharp eyes had become softer, loosen in delight.

“Alright, I understand. I’ll protectyour little sis.”

SinceI don’t dislike those human-liked emotions, said Crow while playing and rubbingthe back of his head over my laps. When I reflexively stroke his forehead, fora second, Crow made an engrossed expression and soon laughed with satisfaction.

Onlya little time remained before I graduate from the academy. If things continuelike this and nothing happens, Soleil and I will get married. Then, after threeyears, that summer will come again. That summer where Silvia is attacked in arobbery and die.

Thistime, I wonder what on earth will happen? Can I do it well?

I’mscared. I think I’m just scared.

But,if I don’t do it well, I’ll be condemned by Soleil again.

*

*

Theday Soleil and I got married, Silvia took part to the ceremony as a relative.

After theceremony itself, we assembled outside the church where a small garden had beenprepared and received blessings from our relatives and old friends. My littlesister stood before Soleil and I with my parents and congratulated us with asmile. Be happy, she said as she laughed. Despite it being my own weddingceremony, I only remembered clearly my little sister’s appearance. Her silverhairs were gathered loosely and she was wearing a light red lipstick that drewone’s eyes. It looked really attractive on her white skin. Just like that teaparty where the two of them met for the first time, she was wearing a beigedress close to a white color and was showing a little smile. The ephemeralfigure of the petite and delicate little sister who didn’t leave the house muchwas eye-catching and stood out a lot more that I, the bride.

Soleilgave his thanks to the congratulating words Silvia expressed. Beside me, that cold pair of eyes slightly loosened. But the face I saw from profile carried atinge of lamentation that couldn’t be hidden. He couldn’t be with the one heloved. Once again, he was realizing this.

Icouldn’t look at his face any longer and when I suddenly raised my eyes, abovemy head I saw a black bird flying in big circles. As if it was laughing atme.

“… Crow.”

Soleilwho heard my mutter with his sharp ears bent his head with a puzzledexpression. When I shook my head and said it was nothing, he left it as it was,stifled a yawn and dismissed it with a bored “I see.” It was as if he didn’thave any interest. As if it was completely not worth worrying about it. Andthen, his gaze once again turned toward my little sister.

Todayshould have been the happiest day of my life. The me of the first lifecertainly believed this. It took several weeks to choose today dress. And yet,there were still part I wasn’t please with so I embroidered them myself. Eachtime I inserted a needle, I felt I took a step closer to happiness. My mouthwould smile widely as I made that wish. But, if you attentively observed thesituation like I was doing now, you could see Soleil didn’t have the slightestbit of affection toward me. In order to not let anybody sense it, to not letanybody realize it, he pretended nothing was wrong, but I knew that in realityhe found me annoying and was tired of me.

Tothat extent, that much. I’m not loved by Soleil.

Whilewatching the icy profile of Soleil who pledged an eternal love before God, Irealized this man would deceived even God like this. He was a person who sealedhis own love for the sake of politics. A person who chose to defend his landsand people rather than love. In that way, it can be said that since he was able torestrain his emotions and take rational decisions, he was the ideal figure for anadministrator. The people who lost sight of their road due to love were not few.But, him, would never do that. He chose me for that.

Andit was that person I fell in love with. Even when I see his appearance that canbe interpreted as being cold-headed, there is no way my emotion would subside.

That’swhy, in front of God, I pledge a true oath. I would continue to love him at alltimes. Even if he didn’t love me, I could swear a love worth of two persons’share. By doing so, maybe someday rewarding times would come.

Andthen, I became Soleil’s wife.

…… I think my third life was, if compared to the previous lives, spent inoverwhelmingly calmer days. While making preparations for that summer day, Ialso lead a social life as the wife of a marquis, fulfilling my duties asSoleil’s spouse without a flaw. Everything was for the sake of avoiding theincident that would happen during the summer of the third year. It wasnecessary to build personal connections and to furthermore strengthen thoserelationships. I worked vigorously in order to make the necessary arrangementsand lay the groundwork.

“Because it’s you Iria who told meto, I looked into it, but what the hell do you want to do with such a small group of bandits?”

Crowtilted his head, mystified. But he cooperated without any further pressing mewho was dodging his question ambiguously and didn’t give a reason.

“I don’t know what you’re trying todo, but anyhow, since I’m bored, lending a hand is no problem at all” he saidwith a smile.

…… And then, one day. An unforeseen incident occurred.

WhenI arrived at the place I had been called because he had something to talk aboutwith me, I discovered that Soleil had brought along my little sister. Silviahad a green and stiffed expression, and Soleil was standing in front of such alittle sister as if to protect her. When I stared at their figures wonderingwhat happened, Soleil said to me with a noble face that looked no differentfrom usual,

“… Silvia is not to blame.”

Abruptlystarting the conversation with those words, first of all he urged my littlesister whose complexion was bad to sit down. But Silvia silently shook herhead. Tears were accumulating inside her big eyes, as if she was enduringsomething she closed her lips tightly like she was about to cry at any moment.Seized by a presentiment, my back trembled a little.

“… She got pregnant.”

Soleilwho suddenly inhaled a long breath declared this with a voice devoid of anyintonation.

“… Who is it?”

Mymuttered words fell down inside the wide drawing room. I knew it in my head,but my mouth couldn’t catch up with my understanding and movedunintentionally.

“Silvia is pregnant with my child.”

Thistime when the words were clearly told, my mind became pure white. Yes,literally pure white.

Therewas only the three of us in the drawing room that had been cleared out ofpeople beforehand. That’s why my unsteady breathing sounds echoed clearly. Thevoice that finally managed to squeeze out the word “Why?” was shaking greatly. Thetrembling word that was said as if I was spitting out a lump of stone from thedepth of my chest rolled down without any meaning.

Silviahad a frail body, it was concluded it would probably be difficult for her to wantchildren. For that reason, she didn’t have a fiancé. Inside the noble societywhere it is said giving birth to an heir is the women’s role, she was at anoverwhelming disadvantage. It was supposed to be the case. Until that moment.

Notknowing what to do, I kept repeating “Why?” like an idiot. With a voice thatseemed to be about to vanish, Silvia answered in a mutter, “Big sister, I’msorry.” While keeping her figure at the corner of my field of vision, my eyesmoved toward Soleil’s face. I’m sure today was our wedding anniversary. Theanniversary of our second year. Only two years have passed.

WhileI was making the arrangements to face the summer of the third year, in a place Ididn’t know, those two had many lover meetings over and over again.

Theonly one who kept his composure at that time was probably Soleil. Even thoughit could count as an infidelity, he told in a clear voice that didn’t revealthe slightest feeling of guilt “I am in love with Silvia.” In my previous life,in the one before too, they were the words I didn’t receive not even once. Nomatter how much I devoted myself, no matter how many times I said I lovedSoleil, those words were never returned, not even once. Those words, has my littlesister obtained them only because she was “Silvia”? Will she build a happyfamily while I literally couldn’t even hold in my arms the child I gave birthto? Those things, were what I originally should have got.

Iscreamed loudly. As if my shout could shatter the world to pieces. Even thoughI knew such a stupid thing would never happen.

*

“… Iria, why are you crying?”

Iwas laying on the floor rounded up like a fetus when an oddly sweet voice camefrom above. When I looked up, Crow’s beautiful face was right there. At thattime, when they heard me screamed, the escorts barged into the drawing room. Iunconsciously searched for the figure of Al, but then I remembered that after Igot married I left Al behind at my parent’s home. When I told him to protect mylittle sister rather than me, his face looked hurt for a second before he managedto erase his expression. After having barged into the room, the escort of themarquis house whom I had never exchanged even a single word with, carried me up asI was still in a confused and shocked state, then he threw me into my room andlocked it up from the outside.

“… Crow, Crow,”

IfI’m allowed to give an excuse, then I’ll said that at that time, I was surelyat my limit. I, who had gone over my critical points many times, who had tastedtrue despair, at that moment,  I hungonto the nearest person who offered me a gentle expression, Crow. That why, Italked about the path I was following, about everything regarding the incidentsI couldn’t perceive as reality. Surely, I must have wished for someone to pityme and show me some compassion. I wished for someone to console me “You’veendure well by yourself.” And then, I wished for them to tell me “It’s alrightto not worry anymore.” Anything was fine, I just wanted a reason to livethrough this cruel reality.

“Iria, Iria …”

Afterhaving listen until the end to the story I told while sobbing convulsively andspitting out words bit by bit, Crow called my name.

Wouldhe believe in such an absurd story? But I wanted him to. Otherwise.

Aslender finger scooped up my chin. In my field of vision that has been forciblyraised up, Crow’s face appeared. Regarding what this white face that was like amask was thinking about, nothing could be read from his expression. His pitch-blackpair of eyes was reflecting my weeping and anxious expression.

“If what you are saying is true,then…”

Crowcut his words at that point and stared intensely in my eyes. It was as if hewas trying to peek into the depth of my heart. When I thought that, as expected,he didn’t believe it, my feelings sank, but then they were risen up by hisfollowings words. However, his next words were not ones of sympathy norkindness.

“It’s almost like hell.”

Lickingthe tears shed on my cheeks, Crow laughed.

“Hey, Iria. The place called hell,is were sinner goes, right?”

“Sinner…?”

“People who committed sins fall downto that place after their death, no? And then, there they receive theirpunishment, don’t they”

“They receive…”

Theirpunishment… ?

“If this is hell. If you’rereceiving your punishment. Then, what kind of sin did you commit?”

Crow’scold fingers tightly grasped my hands like he was scratching a short pilecarpet and pinned me down from above.

“Why is it happening to you and youalone?”

“Why is it only you that repeat thesame time?”

Severaldrops of water fell on Crow hand that is covering my trembling fingers. If thisis a punishment. If this is the reparation for committing a sin. Then my sinmust surely be having wished for my own happiness. In other words, it had thesame meaning as wishing for Soleil and Silvia’s unhappiness. Certainly, the meof my first life was delighted by Silvia’s death.

Butwas it a sin worth of giving rise to this much of a hell?

“Can it be that you, you think thatyou’re the only one unhappy… … ?”

Howdid I answer Crow’s question? I don’t remember anymore. What I remember, is myown figure as I stood alone in my room.

“However, my lady, you’re not the kind of person who would choose to endher own life.”

That was what had asserted Al’svoice.

Still,I was always anxious, and after my marriage I never brought an edged toolinside my room. Because I feared the possibility that I would injure my skinmyself. Whether it was scissor, knife or razor, I didn’t leave anything in myroom. So, I braided a rope with the bed sheets I tore with my tooth.

Iwasn’t sane. I wasn’t sane, but I completely understood what I was doing. Theinfant I could never embrace not even once, my little sister will surely holdhim inside her arms. When I imagined Soleil’s face as he was smiling in happinesswhile looking at the two, it became easy to carry it out. It’s already over. I’vealready lost my purpose. I cannot watch the appearance of that child who hadbecome happy, I cannot watch Soleil building a future with someone else.  If it’s a punishment, if it’s the reparationfor having committed a sin, then. This reality will simply continue. A suddencomplete reversal of the story will not occur.

Ihung the rope around my neck. The tips of my toes slipped off the chair I was steppingon.