The day the fujoshi was let out of the bag.

2005/11/19 00:09

I’m good friends with a classmate from college. Let’s call him S.

S moved to Tokyo with his high school girlfriend,

and they’re still going strong.

By the way, he’s listed as “living with his father, who is on a business assignment,”

but that’s a complete and total fabrication. He actually lives with his girlfriend.

To be honest, I’m jealous.

The “S couple” and the “Me and fujoshi Y-ko couple” get along well.

We often find ourselves eating out and doing things together.

Back when they didn’t know about Y-ko’s secret identity yet, we went out for drinks.

We heard them talk about their high school, and we told them about the place we worked.

A fun time was had by all.

By the way, within the relationship between S and his girlfriend (let’s call her her **),

she is the one who wields the power.

From an outside perspective, she’s like a fire-breathing wife.

While we sat listening to their still very lovey-dovey conversation,

my own secret weapon, the now solidly drunk fujoshi Y-ko, decided to drop a bombshell.

Y-KO:	** is a total tsundere, you know?
**:	Huh?
S:	Tsundere?

Yes, you can tell these people live together.

They are on the same wavelength.

But this is terrible!

If they ask, “What’s a tsundere?” the only possible result is disaster!!

Must change topic… must change topic!!

I need something, anything I can use to change the topic!

ME:	Whoa! This fried chicken is great! You’ve gotta try it, Y-ko! Here!
S:	What’s a tsundere?

………

… Don’t just sidestep me like that, S-kun.

Don’t you realize the spot you sidestepped onto is a land mine?

Are you sure about this? Do you really want that?

Well, there’s no stopping at this point.

My girlfriend didn’t come equipped with brakes.

Y-KO:

Well, you see, a tsundere is .

Oh dear. Y-ko-san looks so happy about this.

Please, just stop yourself before they get totally freaked out.

Y-KO:	It’s a person who normally acts all touchy and angry around someone.
	But then when they’re alone together, she gets all sappy and lovey-dovey. Just like **!

Right there! Stop right there!

But alas, what did wishes ever accomplish?

I’ve got to stop her… with action!!

Give me your strength, fried chicken—

ME:	Whoa! This fried chicken is like—
**:	What? Am I really like that? A tsundere, huh? I don’t really get it…
	Who’s an example of one?

Don’t just sidestep me like that, **.

Don’t you realize the spot you sidestepped onto is terrible, uncharted wilderness?

Are you sure about this? Do you really want that?

Well, there’s no stopping at this point.

My girlfriend’s got the pedal to the metal.

And here she comes.

Y-KO:	Well, for example, Asuka from Eva, right?
	And Kaoru from Rurouni Kenshin, too, I guess. Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon, too. Oh, but—also—[omitted]—!! … and—plus—like that. Get it?

S and ** sat there in stunned silence.

I don’t know what to say. Other than that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry you had to get riddled with otaku terminology like machine-gun rounds.

ME:	Um… well… Sh-she’s pretty drunk right now, you know!
	She’s not usually like this—okay, never mind, she is, but she usually hides it better in front of other people! So… so… Please, let me pick up the check. I insist.