Drunken otaku, fujoshi Y-ko.

2005/11/25 16:37

Well, it pains me somewhat to say this,

especially when my blog is in the top rankings for the category of anime and manga, but…

I basically don’t watch anime.

The only series I’ve ever watched in its entirety is Mobile Suit Gundam SEED.

Even Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny, of which I am supposed to be writing a novel, I’ve only seen about half of.

Also, maybe some parts of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing…

Oh, but I also watched Slam Dunk and Dragon Ball!! (I’m pretty sure.)

I’m not really good at being in the same place at the same time every week for a year.

…… Ow! I’m sorry! Stop throwing rocks at me, please!!

I am writing a novel, which makes me technically an otaku when it comes to Gundam SEED!!

So…

I don’t watch anime,

but I have this anime otaku girlfriend.

We were drinking at home.

Y-KO:	Hey, what’s your favorite Gundam?
ME:	Um, SEED, I guess.
Y-KO:	What? I thought that guys were supposed to love the UC* series.

*UC: All the works that take place in the Universal Century between Mobile Suit Gundam and Mobile Suit Victory Gundam. SEED belongs in the CE (Cosmic Era).

ME:	Um, sorry. The oldest one I’ve ever seen is Wing.
Y-KO:	Are you kidding?! If you’re into Gundam, you should be all about Amuro!!
ME:	… I don’t even know what you mean by UC. I basically don’t watch anime…
	The only other shows I’ve watched like that are Slam Dunk and Dragon Ball.
Y-KO:	You know what? You’re really wasting your life.
	Open your eyes! Wake up and feel the moe of Roy x Ed!!
ME:	Roy x Ed?
Y-KO:	It’s a wonderful pairing from Hagaren. (* Hagaren: Fullmetal Alchemist)

And she giggled, “fu-fu-fu-fu-fu.”

My brain was busy translating each fu into the fu from fujoshi.

… It’s a land mine.

It has to be a land mine.

In fact, you’re the one who needs to wake up.

I can’t keep this conversation going.

I have to ignore it. Play it off.

Be cool. Pretend to be cool here, me—

ME:	—Oh, yes. Hagaren is very good, isn’t it.
Y-KO:	Isn’t it? Isn’t it? So why don’t you watch anime?
ME:	I’m not good at watching shows every week for an entire year…
	That’s why I don’t watch drama shows either, you know. If I can’t handle a three-month seasonal show, how will I do it for a year?
Y-KO:	No… Say it ain’t so, Bernie…
ME:	Huh? Did you call me Bunny?… Like a rabbit?

Crunch!! (sound effect)

ME:	Aagh… Huh? Huh?
Y-KO:	A-a-a-a-apologize!!
	Apologize to the gunota all over the world, right now!! (*Gunota: Gundam otaku.)

Oh, er… I’m sorry…?

But softly or not…

*Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket, Episode 5, “Say It Ain’t So, Bernie!”