So, maid cafés are all the rage these days.
They’re being featured in the news and TV shows all the time.
It seems like the rest of society is ready to welcome their existence.
But for some reason, it seems that my girlfriend has a problem with them.
| Y-KO: |
It’s not fair that only the maids get all the attention. |
| ME: |
… Pardon? |
| Y-KO: |
I mean, don’t get me wrong! They’re sexy! They’re moe! I want to rip their clothes off! |
|
And I want to touch them!! |
| ME: |
Um, please don’t do that. Settle down before you start disturbing the peace… |
| Y-KO: |
Oh, but wait! It’s not that moe if you take all their clothes off! What should we do?! |
|
Make them half-naked? Is that the answer?! |
| ME: |
I don’t know! And don’t include me in your weirdo fantasies! |
|
So, uh, what exactly is your point? |
| Y-KO: |
Well, I mean, guys are the only ones who can enjoy maid cafés! |
| ME: |
But you just said you liked them… |
| Y-KO: |
Guys might like undressing the maids and touching them all over, but—! |
| ME: |
What kind of maid café allows you to do that?! It would be illegal! |
| Y-KO: |
And sure, I’d probably have a lot of fun undressing and touching them, too, but— |
| ME: |
Are you just ignoring me? And you’re admitting that you would enjoy it, too! |
|
Where am I supposed to fit in this conversation?! |
| Y-KO: |
But enough of the jokes. |
| ME: |
What?! Is this for real?! You’re only joking?! |
| Y-KO: |
Would you settle down? You’re getting awfully excited about these maids. |
| ME: |
What is your problem? Are you picking a fight with me? You are, aren’t you? |
What’s with this shabby treatment?
I’m getting a bit depressed…
| Y-KO: |
So, guys are supposed to go crazy with moe lust at maid cafés, right? |
| ME: |
They go crazy? |
| Y-KO: |
They do. But what about the girls? |
|
Why not have butler cafés for them? |
… Um,
I don’t know why you’re asking me.
| Y-KO: |
Yes! Butler cafés! With refined and old-fashioned decorations! |
Ah. (Inner monologue)
| Y-KO: |
The moment you open the door, it’s a lengthy line of butlers!! |
I’ll pass, thanks. (Inner monologue)
| Y-KO: |
And in unison, they say, “Welcome home, young mistress”!! |
You’re not much of a “young” mistress anymore. (Inner monologue)
| Y-KO: |
Not to mention, all the bases are covered. From Shota to Sebastian!! |
Ah, Shota and… and… Sebastian?! (Inner monologue)
| ME: |
Wait, what’s a Sebastian?! |
| Y-KO: |
When you talk about butlers, you’re talking about Sebastian! |
| ME: |
Oh no, I hate the fact that I feel like I know what you’re talking about! |
| Y-KO: |
And Sebastian is seme!! |
| ME: |
Now that I really don’t care about!! |
| Y-KO: |
What? Why? You’d rather have Sebas be an uke? |
|
No way! Ha-ha-ha.
Sebas has always been the seme. It was decided ages ago. Too bad! |
| ME: |
I don’t care! What do you mean, “decided ages ago”?! |
|
And it’s not “too bad” or anything to me!
Also, don’t shorten it to Sebas like it’s a nickname or something!! |
What the hell? What’s the big idea?
I’m getting so tired of this, Patrasche…
| Y-KO: |
And the Shota would have to be ***, of course!! |
| ME: |
I… see… |
| Y-KO: |
Nobody over five feet would be accepted for the job! |
| ME: |
I wouldn’t accept you. |
| Y-KO: |
The pairing has to be Sebas x Shota, right?! |
| ME: |
Why are you asking me? And what do you mean by pairing? |
| Y-KO: |
Thirteen is the juiciest age for the Shota, right? |
| ME: |
I said, why are you asking… Oh, never mind. Yes, I’m sure it is. |
| Y-KO: |
Oh, wait! But if he’s thirteen, there might be some legal issues!! |
| ME: |
I imagine there would be. |
| Y-KO: |
Dammit!! So my enemy is the law!! |
Indeed.
In which case—
… Oh, and for the record? This conversation occurred at a friend’s house.
There’s a limit to how fearless one person can be.
I’m sure that every Wednesday at the butler café would be Glasses Day.