Otome Road~Episode I~

2005/12/05 10:41

In December, the temperature drops to where it feels like the air is stabbing your skin.

Perhaps due to this, I could feel prickling pains all over.

… No, actually, I don’t think that’s the temperature.

I feel like it’s actually hundreds of stares jabbing me all over.

… Am I just imagining things?

No, I’m not imagining things.

… It hurts.

…… The stares hurt.

……… And if I don’t meet those stares, my heart hurts.

The first couple walked through my line of sight.

They looked to be about college age. The girl seemed excited

while the boy, a step behind her, had his head drooped down.

Oops, our eyes met.

I don’t know him.

We’re just passing strangers.

However, for some reason, the instant we passed, I could see a message in his eyes.

Why is this? It’s like I can feel his heart in the palm of my hand.

Strange. Is that look in his eyes… pity?

… I could feel the message pouring out of that gaze.

Aw, crap. I feel like—

Y-KO:	Come on! Walk quickly!
ME:	Aw! I just felt like I was going to make friends within enemy territory!
Y-KO:	I have no idea what you’re talking about… Ooh, here we go!

That’s right. I’m on Otome Road.

In accordance with my girlfriend’s schemes, I’ve been dragged along as bag holder,

but I have to be honest—it’s rough.

This is hostile territory. It’s an away game.

To be honest, I feel like a Giants fan who just got caught in a big pack of Tigers fans.

Or some poor dumb salaryman who wandered onto the ladies-only car of the train.

Aha! I can see that jiggly-necked basketball coach now!

But Anzai-sensei…

ME:	Anzai-Sensei… the stares, they hurt.

*Coach Anzai: A character from Slam Dunk. The coach of Shohoku High School’s basketball team. A former All-Japan player and a ferocious college hoops instructor. He played a rather mild role in the story, but the legendary scene in which Mitsui tearfully says, “Anzai-sensei… I want to play basketball…,” put his name into the annals of manga history.

Y-KO:	Huh?
ME:	… Uh, nothing. Let’s just go.

I’m ready. I’m going to fight.

I walked ahead of my girlfriend, who was equipped with a two-wheeled cart for ferrying goods, and attempted to enter the store, but she called out after me.

Y-KO:	Hang on. You wait here.
ME:	… Huh?
Y-KO:	Look, I’m not going to be that cruel. You can wait for me out here.
	See you in a bit!

Roll, roll, roll, roll…

And she disappeared into the building.

… Yes, that was very nice.

I appreciate the gesture.

But if you were going to be nice, I wish you had done that from the beginning

… Hmm?

What’s this? I feel more stares.

Counter to my expectations, I had seen guys here and there,

so my presence shouldn’t be attracting that much attention.

… But wait.

Yes, I did come here with my girlfriend.

But she just entered that cave of monsters alone.

Which means…

A lone man.

Otome Road.

In front of a store.

(Like Odagiri in the card CM.)

… No, wait.

I’ve got enough otaku in me to write a SEED novel.

There’s no reason I should feel timid around these people!

Yes, I have a right to be here!! (People call this emotion defiance.)

Fujoshi attacks.

You feel stares.

Critical hit!

You take fifty damage.

Fight, spell

defend, escape.

You escaped.

… I’m sorry. I can’t do this.

The stares are hurting me.

I can’t defend against them wearing these traveler’s clothes for armor.

Not to mention being left out in front of the store.

I run into the nearby convenience store with teary eyes.

What is this feeling?

I’m in town!! Woohoo!!

I made it back safely!!

That kind of feeling.

And just then…

a phone ringtone echoed throughout the store.

All eyes gathered on me again.

They stabbed right through me.

Why?

Didn’t I change it?

Didn’t I set it back to the usual pop song?

Why am I hearing “M—M—nurse” coming from my jacket pocket?

“Tell me, Grandpa!” (in Heidi, Girl of the Alps’ voice)

It must be Y-ko’s doing. (in Grandpa’s voice)

… Enough anime references.

… As I felt the rage against the sadistic terrorist Y-ko building within me,

I checked the screen to see what text I had received.

Oh, and I immediately changed my ringtone, of course.

The message was from Y-ko, deep within the bowels of that hell forbidden to male-kind.

FROM:	Y-ko
TITLE:	oh crap, it’s a treasure trove

I see.

Well, at least she seems to be enjoying herself.

As far as I’m concerned, her happiness is the main point of this excursion…

… Hmm? Wait, there’s text in the body.

FROM:	Y-ko
TITLE:	oh crap, it’s a treasure trove
BODY:	but the stares from the people around me are painful

Well, dear, you are somewhat fashionable,

which would set you apart from everyone else here.

I’m sure that will lead to some painful glares.

But, see… Don’t you see?