Big news.

2005/12/09 01:23

While I was putting together an extremely taxing and annoying report,

I got a phone call from Y-ko, who was supposed to be hanging out with her fujoshi friends.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no, my ringtone isn’t “M—M—nurse” anymore. Fortunately.

ME:	Yeah? What’s u—
Y-KO:	Bonjour!! Listen, listen, listen!!

Ringggg.

C-could you turn down the volume?

ME:	Sorry, could you tone it down? You’re really hurting my ea—
Y-KO:	Big news!! Oh, and when I greet you in Italian, I want an Italian response!!
ME:	… I’m sorry. Are you drunk? You’re drunk, aren’t you?

Plus, bonjour is French, not Italian.

Y-KO:	So what? Anyways…
	I hear they’re going to open a butler café!!

… What?

Really?

ME:	Um, really?
Y-KO:	Really!!
ME:	Your source?
Y-KO:	It’s this one blog called ****!!
ME:	Okay, uh… Hang on a minute. I’ll check it out.

Tappity, tap, tap…

Yep.

ME:	That’s incredible!! It’s going to be a smash success!!
Y-KO:	I know, I know, I know!! Yes!! This weekend’s plans are set!!

… Now you’re getting ahead of yourself.

This place probably isn’t even open for business yet.

Y-KO:	Oh my goodness, it’s going to be a festival!!
	We’re going to open that bottle of wine we’ve been saving, Sebas.

……

Um…

ME:	Come on! We don’t even have a bottle of wine.
Y-KO:	Yes we do! I’ll go and pick one up!!
ME:	That’s not the same as “saving” a bottle…
Y-KO:	Hey, what was it called? That one bottle that was really good…
	Oh, right! I remember! Moe Moe Chandon?

They might be able to sell a few bottles by riding that fad, but I certainly don’t want to drink it.

ME:	Nice try, but not quite. You’re thinking of Moët & Chandon.
Y-KO:	Oh, who cares? It’s only one letter. Don’t be so fussy, Sebas!!

I think I just got scolded!

And she called me Sebas again!

ME:	… Um, I’m sorry.
	Would you stop calling me Sebas?
Y-KO:	Huh? Why?

Great.

The vaunted “why?” defense.

ME:	Well, because my name is—
Y-KO:	Oh, sorry. Did you want to be Shota?

I wasn’t done with the sentence!

And why are those my only two choices?!

Plus, Shota isn’t even a name!!

Y-KO:	Yeah, of course…
	You’re more the uke type.

…!!

Um… I’m sorry…