OTOME ROAD ~EPISODE II~ 2005/12/13 00:12

My Girlfriend's a Geek — LNCrawler · All chapters

Otome Road~Episode II~

2005/12/13 00:12

Ikebukuro.

As a citizen of more rural lands, this single word conjures many images into my head.

Images of fashion and coolness.

A neighborhood full of young people.

Perhaps it’s only just a giant business park.

Then there was that guy on Ainori who called himself “the wolf of ’Bukuro.”

And something about a king in the West Gate Park.

I never actually watched that drama, though.

But,

on the other hand…

I never knew there was actually a real Otome Road.

I’m sitting in a family restaurant on the way home from Otome Road now.

I was forced to carry Y-ko’s numerous purchases

—and it was a pain.

More to the point—

the cart was unbelievably heavy.

I can only assume the bags are full of BL books and magazines.

How much did she sink into this trip?

I hope she doesn’t leave them all at my place.

These things floated through my head as I carried the cart up the stairs.

The restaurant is mostly empty.

Hang in there, manager.

Don’t let the recession get you down.

We were guided to the nonsmoking section by the waiter and finally got off our feet.

ME:	So, was it fun? Was Otome Road worth it?
Y-KO:	Yep. It was great. It was a real battlefield in there… Oh, you want to see?

See? See what?!

Y-KO:

Look, my spoils of war!

And here they are!

Y-ko proudly began to show off bits and pieces of the stuff she had in the absolutely packed cart.

What’s with all the titillating, suggestive, can-you-see-it-or-not art?

… No, no! You don’t need to show me. I’m perfectly fine!

I really don’t want to be looking at these gaudy illustrations in a diner,

and especially not before I eat!!

Plus, you bought wayyyy too much, lady.

ME:	Look at all of this! No wonder it seemed heavy; you bought a metric ton of the stuff!!
Y-KO:	I sure did. It was really hard!
ME:	… Hard?
Y-KO:	Yep. Like, you know how these books are hard to check out because they’re always kept in plastic bags?
ME:	Is that right?
Y-KO:	It is. I mean, when they do that with the newest books from Shnen Jump, it’s not a big deal, because you’ve been reading the stories week to week in the magazine, and you know what they’re like.

So, Y-ko-san, you’re saying that you read Jump every week and also buy the volumes?

I mean, that’s cool and all. I think Death Note is pretty good, too.

Y-KO:

So it means you have to judge the whole thing based on the cover.

Ah, yes, I understand.

That’s how I feel when I buy porno magazines.

Of course, what she’s buying are essentially porno mags, too.

Y-KO:	So what you really need in this case is the ability to judge a book by its cover.
ME:	I see.
Y-KO:	What do you call that? You know what I mean. The skill of an artisan.
ME:	Uh, what makes you an artisan?
Y-KO:	You have to make sure they can’t fool you by putting all their effort into the cover!!

H-hey! Don’t shout!

Hold it in… Don’t let it out!!

Y-KO:

Gaze upon the truth with unclouded eye and make your decision!!

With unclouded eye? Uh…

Didn’t the guy from the movie Princess Mononoke say something like that? (← trying to escape my immediate reality)

Y-KO:

Some call this skill the mind’s eye.

I’m not going to respond.

I’m going to ignore her and drink my water.

Y-KO:	It’s like, um, how did that go…
	Thiiink… don’t feeeel… Right?
ME:	… Bfft! (I snorted my water)
Y-KO:	Ewww, gross! Don’t blow your water on me!!
ME:	… Sorry.

But it should be against the rules to make Bruce Lee facial impressions.

ME:	I think you actually have that backward.

It’s supposed to be “Don’t think, feel,” not “Think, don’t feel.”

Y-KO:

………… Oh, dang! I was so close!!

No, you weren’t! You were completely 180 degrees wrong!!

This is not doing Bruce Lee any kind of justice!!

ME:	Okay, I can see that you are indeed a professional in the ways of judging BL publications.
Y-KO:	Huh? What are you talking about?

… Pardon?

Y-KO:

Of course I don’t have any skills that fancy. I mean, the number of times you get burned in this hobby is incredible in the first place.

…… Errr…

ME:	What in the world were you just expounding on, then?
Y-KO:	Oh, that?
	Just a kind of ideal fujoshi state of mind that I wish I could pull off.

What the hell do you mean by that?

… Hmm?

… Which would mean…

ME:	I’m sorry, what criteria were you using to buy them, then?
Y-KO:	Huh? What do you mean?
ME:	Well, you weren’t judging them by the cover, right?
	How do you decide which ones to buy, then?
Y-KO:	Oh, that’s easy.
	The lottery ticket method. Buy as many as you can, and you’re bound to strike gold once in a while.

… Unbelievable.