COSPLAY. 2005/12/23 00:02
Cosplay.
2005/12/23 00:02
—“A miniskirt Santa… would be so great.”
It all began with this comment from Y-ko, as she sat eating a mandarin orange.
| ME: | … Huh? |
| Y-KO: | I mean, everything in town is all decked out in Santas, right? |
| ME: | Yep. |
| Y-KO: | So what if on Christmas Eve… |
Ah, yes, I can see where we’re heading with this.
| Y-KO: | … you had lady Santas dressed up in miniskirts? Wouldn’t that be totally moe? |
Yes, very moe.
Ridiculously so.
It’s too bad that written words can’t convey sarcasm of the type I’m using now.
| ME: | Yes, quite moe, indeed. |
| Y-KO: | I know, right?! Okay, honey! I’m gonna do this for you! |
| ME: | Oooh! |
| Y-KO: | I mean, hell, I want to wear that outfit! |
| ME: | Oh, so it’s all about you, is it?! |
I thought you just said it was for my sake.
And why would you want to wear that?
| Y-KO: | And that means you’ll have to wear the reindeer costume. |
| ME: | Oh, sure. If that’s what miniskirt Santa wants, that’s what miniskirt Santa ge— |
…
……
………
| ME: | —No, wait. I can’t do that. |
What the hell do you mean, reindeer costume?
Like full-body tights with hair stuck to them, the kind you’d see in a comedy show?
| Y-KO: | Aw! Cheapskate. |
| ME: | I’m not being a cheapskate. I’m giving you a perfectly ordinary reaction. |
Besides, what’s so fun about seeing a guy wearing full-body tights?
| Y-KO: | I was gonna take a picture and send it to everyone… |
| ME: | I see. Yes, that does sound like f— |
| What in the world are you thinking?! |
Am I supposed to be turned into a laughingstock for doing this?!
| Y-KO: | What am I thinking of? The ten best ways to spend your Christmas? |
| ME: | … Uh… I see… |
Is this really something I should be yelling at her for?
I mean, it is an event that only comes once a year…
She just wants to enjoy it.
| Y-KO: | Either that, or the best way to drag you into the ways of the fujoshi before Winter Comiket. |
| ME: | Wint… Com… |
…
……
………
I take the preceding statement back!
I also avoid confronting the truth—that I’m already being dragged there efficiently enough as it is.
… I’m ignoring the fact that I’m already half-lured at the moment.
I’m also ignoring the fact that you can dress up like Santa at any time of year.
Hang in there, reason.
| Y-KO: | …… Okay, a nurse outfit. |
| ME: | … Uh, that’s not the issue— |
| Y-KO: | … Your favorite. A pink nurse outfit. |
Arrrgh—I should have realized that Y-ko would know my secret favorite—
| ME: | Wait a minute. How did you know that I had a thing for pink nurse outfits? |
| Y-KO: | Because of your secret computer folder… |
| ME: | Excuse me?! |
Did she see it?! Did she look inside?!
| Y-KO: | You have such a wonderful girlfriend… but you’ve got this thing for pink nurses… |
| Heh-heh-heh… | |
| ME: | Eek! |
She’s holding this against me!
| Y-KO: | So, what’s it going to be? |
| ME: | I, er… I’ll think about it… |
Not Comiket…
… I just can’t…
| Y-KO: | Argh! Make up your mind! Be a man! Decide right here and now!! |
| ME: | Um… |
| Y-KO: | Are you going to buy the cosplay suit or not?! |
| ME: | … Huh? |
You were talking about that?
I guess she doesn’t even care about the Comiket part.
Well, that’s better for me…
| Y-KO: | … Well… Okay, fine! |
| ME: | … What do you mean? |
| Y-KO: | I’ll even throw in some neko-mimi, too!! |
| ME: | Cat… ears… |
| Y-KO: | Pink nurse uniform with neko-mimi!! |
Pink nurse with cat ears.
Pink nurse with cat ears.
Pink nurse with cat ears.
… (Imagining)
……… (Agonizing)
What a ridiculously tantalizing combination!!
| Y-KO: |  Neko-mimi nurse! Neko-mimi nurse! Nama-mugi nama-gome neko-mimi nurse! |
| ME: | Hey… no… |
No fair putting it into that song!!
A man’s sense of reason is as flimsy as a single sheet of paper…