Home visit~Act II~

2006/01/08 16:51

The car speeds along.

Speeding toward Y-ko’s house.

Y-ko’s father is behind the wheel.

Sitting in the passenger seat, clad in a nice suit, is me.

We are the only two souls in the car.

I am alone with my girlfriend’s dad.

This is a time of tribulation for a man.

But I was keeping the conversation moving,

saying things like, “Isn’t it cold?”

Small talk, safe little pleasantries.

Even though I felt on the verge of tears.

Suddenly, he expressed an interest in the paper bags I was holding.

I had two large paper bags cradled on my knees.

He probably assumed that I had brought some kind of present or offering.

Y-DAD:	What’s in the bags? Snacks of some sort?
ME:	Ah, yes. I didn’t want to show up empty-handed, so I got something at the store.
Y-DAD:	Well, that’s very thoughtful of you. And two large bags’ worth, at that.

… Actually, not quite.

ME:	Well, one of them is, yes… But the other one…
Y-DAD:	…? What’s the other one? If it’s not some kind of snack… liquor?
ME:	Er, not exactly.
Y-DAD:	Not snacks, not liquor… Which means… what?
ME:	… Do you want to know?
Y-DAD:	Well, I am rather curious now.
ME:	……… It’s a bag full of shjo manga that Y-ko left in my apartment.
Y-DAD:	…… Huh?
ME:	… I gathered them all up while cleaning and figured I would give them back to her.
Y-DAD:	…… That many?
ME:	… Yes. She comes over and leaves them with me, because she says she doesn’t have any room for them. I was hoping there might be space for them back at your house.
Y-DAD:	……
ME:	……
Y-DAD:	………
ME:	………
Y-DAD:	………… I’m sorry about this.
ME:	… No problem.

Well, I assumed it would be Y-ko who came to get me…

Then I could have handed them directly over to her.

After this bit of conversation, we had made it to the house.

I thanked her father and got out of the car.

As we walked in the front door, there was Y-ko—

Y-KO:

You’re late!

… Absolute injustice.

It’s your fault for not telling me which station was actually closest.

ME:	… Happy new year.
Y-KO:	Happy all that. Hey, you’re in the suit! You didn’t really need to wear it…
ME:	I thought it would be proper to present myself in the best light.
Y-KO:	Hmm? What’s that?

Her eyes swiveled to the bags I was carrying.

ME:	A little souvenir, and—
Y-KO:	What is it?

Before I could finish my sentence, Y-ko had grabbed both bags away.

Y-KO:	This is heavy! What’s in here?!
ME:	… A little souvenir and all the manga you left in my apartment.
	I gathered them all up while I was cleaning, and I brought them here.
Y-KO:	Why did you do that?!
ME:	You can’t just leave these huge stacks of shjo manga lying around my place.
	A lot of my friends from school come over all the time.

What if they get freaked out by it?

I mean, I’m already freaked out enough.

It’s how I’d feel if I saw piles of shjo manga at my friend’s house.

Y-KO:	Who cares? Let them! Let it blow their minds!
ME:	I can see the new year hasn’t improved your temperament…

As we stood talking, her mother came down the hallway.

I delivered the greeting that I had practiced numerous times on the train ride.

ME:	It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. I’m Y-ko’s boyfriend—
Y-MOM:	Yes, dear. Come in, come in.

I was guided to the living room, and Y-ko’s father returned from parking the car.

Y-KO:	You haven’t eaten yet, have you?
Y-MOM:	We’ve got a nice big home-cooked feast ready!
Y-DAD:	Living alone tends to narrow the range of one’s nutrition.
ME:	Thank you so much…!

Wow, they’re really nice.

The food was brought out in a huge, fashionable pot.

ME:	That’s a gorgeous pot.

Yes, very colorful and cute.

I can see that Y-ko’s mother picks her kitchenware carefully.

Y-MOM:	You think so, too? Isn’t it nice?
ME:	Yes, it’s very attractive.

And then she let slip a bombshell.

Y-MOM:	It’s a Le Creuset.
ME:	…?!

… Pardon?

Le Creuset?

That sounds so familiar for some reason.

As a matter of fact, the first thing that popped into my head was this man:

*Rau Le Creuset, ZAFT commander from Mobile Suit Gundam SEED. The lineage of Gundam characters wearing masks or sunglasses proceeds as follows: Char and Kycilia (Gundam) → Quattro (Zeta) → Haman (ZZ) → Carozzo (F91) → Chronicle (Victory) → Schwartz (G) → Zechs (Wing) → Jamil (X) → Harry (Turn A), and lastly, Le Creuset of Gundam SEED.

As I stood in shock, she began to describe her Le Creuset to me.

Y-MOM:	It’s really quite incredible.
	It won’t overcook the vegetables, and the curry it makes is just fantastic.

As she spoke, I could hear Le Creuset ranting within my head.

CREUSET:	Hah… As if I would ever let vegetables overcook!
CREUSET:	Curry? Couldn’t be easier… for someone like me, of course!
Y-MOM:	And the heat goes right to the vegetables, so cooking is a snap. It’s a housewife’s best friend.
CREUSET:	Boils like a charm, cooks curry with its eyes closed, better than any other!
	There is no stopping it! This is every housewife’s dream! Every housewife’s desire!! Every housewife’s ultimate fate!!!
ME:	Pfft.
Y-MOM:	…? What’s wrong?
ME:	Coff… Kff… Ah, ahem. Sorry, nothing.

I couldn’t contain my laughter, so I stifled it with a hasty cough.

This is truly the work of a supervillain.

He’s even got unsuspecting housewives on his side.

Y-MOM:

…? Well, all right, then—

And she grinned, for some reason.

Y-MOM:

And it has nothing to do with Rau Le Creuset, understand?

It seems that Y-ko and her Gundam otaku brother had the same reaction to the pot that I did…