TRIVIAL BATTLES. 2006/03/27 15:57

My Girlfriend's a Geek — LNCrawler · All chapters

Trivial battles.

The other day at Y-ko’s place

when I saw yet another of her BL publications sitting on the table,

I asked something that had been weighing on my mind rather persistently.

ME:	Don’t you ever get bored of always reading these pornographic comics?
Y-KO:	What? Don’t call them that!
ME:	… But that’s basically what they are.
Y-KO:	No, they’re not! You idiot! You colossal idiot!
ME:	Idiot…?

You don’t need to go that far…

Y-KO:

Besides, you read that stuff, too, don’t you?!

ME:	Not in the least.
Y-KO:	… What about ero-games?
ME:	Never even played one before.
Y-KO:	… M-moe anime!
ME:	Nope.
Y-KO:	… Come on, can’t you at least try to be a normal otaku?
ME:	Huh?

What exactly is a “normal otaku,” anyway?

Y-KO:	You’re not getting the proper intake if all you watch is Gundam!
ME:	It’s entertainment, not nutrition!
Y-KO:	Oh, fine… I’m going to buy you some erotic manga that will suit your tastes! Just wait!
ME:	You don’t have to bother!
Y-KO:	Let’s see, I’m guessing you would be into… cosplay-style?
ME:	I don’t want any!
Y-KO:	…? But you like cosplay, don’t you? Turns you on?
	Don’t be shy now. Let the nice lady show you how it works.

I get the feeling that if I let this nice lady show me “how it works,”

it’s going to end up with a lecture on BL…

ME:	… Look, I’m just not into two-dimensional characters. There’s nothing sexy about it.
Y-KO:	……… So, no ero-manga, no ero-games, no ero-anime…
	What the hell do you find to be moe?
ME:	What kind of question is that?

……

If I was forced to say one thing, I guess it would be “Y-ko moe.”

I mean, the only reason I “like” cosplay is because you’re the one wearing it.

… But I can’t. I can’t say it.

It’s too embarrassing to say with a straight face!

Y-KO:	…? Cat got your tongue?
	What in the world do you find moe? What pushes your buttons?

Ummm…

There.

The perfect answer for me.

That includes Y-ko, of course.

She denied herself as an answer…

ME:	What do you mean, heretic? What’s the proper answer, then?
Y-KO:	Two-dimensional, of course!!
ME:	… Is that a fact?
Y-KO:	I know what to do!
ME:	What?
Y-KO:	I’ll show you what’s so good about two dimensions!

… I told you, two-dimensional women don’t have any appeal to me.

…… Is there anything I can say that will get through to her?

ME:	……… All right. But in return—
Y-KO:	… Huh? What will you do?
ME:	I will show you what’s so good about three dimensions.
Y-KO:	… Huh?
ME:	With a bodily demonstration.
Y-KO:	What?!

On the bed… mostly.