Trivial battles 2.

2006/04/02 21:52

Now, then.

In response to Y-ko’s question of what pushes my buttons,

my answer, “three-dimensional women,” was instantly and definitively cut down,

but I’m not giving up yet.

… So, the question proceeds, what now?

Hmm.

Well, in response to her challenge,

I did announce that I would teach her the benefits of three-dimensional love.

Since I had deftly (and surprisingly) seized the reins,

it was my turn to be on the attack for once.

Y-KO:	Th-the benefits of three dimensions?
ME:	Well, I prefer to skip the lecture and go straight to the hands-on part of the lesson.
Y-KO:	… Huh? Wait!
ME:	So, will you be taking your clothes off yourself, or do I need to do it for you?

Proceeding straight to the main course, the event par excellence of three-dimensional love!

But of course, there is always that third option “with the clothes on.” Ha-ha-ha!

Y-KO:	Taking them—? What?!
ME:	… I’m only kidding.
Y-KO:	…… You’re getting too used to this. No more whispering in my ear from now on.
ME:	Why, thank you. I’m blushing.
Y-KO:	That wasn’t a compliment, Sebas.
ME:	My name isn’t Sebas.
Y-KO:	Of course, Uke-Sebas.
ME:	Not Uke-Sebas, either.

If anything, I’m in a “seme” mood. The S side of S and M, if you will.

There are days when even I am in that kind of mood. Days my native warrior’s blood threatens to reawaken.

Y-KO:	Now you’re just changing the subject! We’re supposed to be talking about two-dimensional characters!
ME:	We were, and then I told you how I don’t care about them in the least.
Y-KO:	Starting off: Evangelion!
ME:	No, listen to me.
Y-KO:	You have to find Rei hot! It’s a prerequisite!
ME:	Listen.
Y-KO:	Or wait. Is Pretty Cure a better starting point? How about Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura?!

What can I do?! said the frantic gaze that Y-ko set on me.

… Actually, I was just wondering the same thing about you, my dear.

……… Really. What’s to be done?

Aha… Got it.

In the words of some ancient person (I think)…

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

Change of plans.

ME:	… All right. Let’s start with Pretty Cure.
Y-KO:	… Huh?
ME:	Then we can move on to Sakura, followed by Evangelion.
Y-KO:	Okay…
ME:	Then I will have awakened to the lure of Rei Ayanami, and by extension, all 2-D girls.
Y-KO:	… Yeah.
ME:	Ultimately, I will go on a shopping spree of ero-games and girly anime DVDs, culminating with a flood of cute little figurines that I will display on every flat surface of my room.

Ah, the delights of two-dimensional moe.

Just saying this stuff is creeping me out!

ME:	And once I’ve fully converted to the side of two-dimensional girls, I will, naturally, lose all interest in you, my dear.
Y-KO:	… No way.
ME:	Huh? You don’t like that?
Y-KO:	Not at all. That’s really creepy.
ME:	What a funny thing to say! You were the one recommending this course of action!
Y-KO:	Shut up! I don’t want that, okay?!
ME:	Even though two-dimensional moe is the norm, and three-dimensional moe is heretical?
Y-KO:	Stop making things so confusing! A maiden’s heart is conflicted and complicated!

Maiden?

ME:	That’s funny, because after your birthday, you’re going to be twent—gff!!

…?!

She hit me!

Talking to an older girl about her age is taboo.

Alas, Y-ko, I think the time has passed when you are allowed to call yourself a maidbkjasfhrkqwel.