Evangelion.

2006/04/16 18:51

Well.

Are you all familiar with Neon Genesis Evangelion?

Even if you’ve never seen the show,

you might have heard the name before.

Even now, a decade after the show was originally aired, the two heroines,

Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu, are incredibly popular and well-known characters.

Even in the comments section of this very blog, I receive very welcome messages recommending the show to me.

But since I don’t have a lot of time to watch that stuff

and I don’t have the courage to go and rent it in person,

I must admit that I had never seen this thing we call Eva.

Until now.

Y-ko’s friend Yumi (age twenty-something, housewife and fujoshi),

being in possession of the entire series on DVD,

brought the show over to Y-ko’s for a viewing party, to which I was invited.

In actuality, it was more like a “make sure I see Evangelion” party.

My very first Eva.

To be truthful, I was expecting to be blown away.

Now, enjoy the tale of my first Eva viewing.

Y-ko’s place.

Today is the day of my very first Evangelion experience.

I was conflicted. I didn’t know if I really wanted to take this major step,

but everything in life is a character-building experience, so…

I can’t deny the fact that I had an interest in seeing this series,

which left an undeniable impact on our culture.

Okay.

I’m ready. I step into Y-ko’s apartment.

Y-KO:	Aha! Here he is!
YUMI:	Hello.
ME:	Hi. My name is—
YUMI:	Uke-Sebas, right?

… Why is it that all of Y-ko’s friends greet me with this?

Are you describing me to all your friends using that term, dear?

Once I had assured her that I was not a Sebas, and certainly not an uke,

I took a seat next to Y-ko.

YUMI:	So, I hear this is your first time seeing Eva, Sebas?
Y-KO:	It’s true. He is so picky about this stuff!
YUMI:	Well, we’re watching this for your sake today, Sebas!
Y-KO:	If only this would help him get over his finicky nature…

… Excuse me?

You sound like a mother griping about her son’s taste in food, Y-ko.

YUMI:	Well, I’m sure he’ll be hooked.
Y-KO:	Of course. By tomorrow, all he’ll be able to say is “Ayanami moe.”

I will not.

I will never in my entire life say such a thing!

ME:	… Oh, right. Here, I bought some cake.

I offered the cake I brought over in the hopes of diverting the topic.

If there’s one thing women love, it’s sweets.

You can’t hope for a better item to change the subject of a conversation.

YUMI:	Wow! How thoughtful of you!
Y-KO:	You see?! This is his Sebas-ness coming out!
YUMI:	Incredible! You’ve got him disciplined to the bone, Y-ko!
Y-KO:	Don’t worry! Pretty soon, he’ll be the perfect Sebas in any situation!
YUMI:	That’s great! A Sebas-raising project!!
Y-KO:	I’ll make him into the perfect man!
Yumi and Y-Ko:	Da-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

……

The conversation has taken an unfortunate turn.

I suppose you might call this a major backfire.

Dammit.

I have a feeling that nothing I do will turn out right.

Maybe it’s time to retreat and regain my footing.

Then again, I have a feeling that steady footing will not be enough to win this fight.

ME:	Well… I’ll go make some tea or something.
YUMI:	Ooh! Is this going to be real fancy tea?!
Y-KO:	Yes! Just wait until you see what my Sebas cooks up!
ME:	All you have here is Lipton, Y-ko…

Just wait until you see, indeed.

YUMI:	But a real Sebas can overcome that.
Y-KO:	Yeah.
ME:	Don’t be ridiculous.

Besides, I don’t even know how to make tea the authentic way.

I’ve never learned how to do it.

I headed to the kitchen, half in retreat.

I know my way around Y-ko’s house.

I heated up some water in the pot.

Sigh…

As the sounds of women squeaking and giggling drifted through the door,

I vaguely watched the rising steam puff out of the pot.

Well, at least Yumi seems like a nice person.

She brought those DVDs just so I could watch them.

She’ll probably explain stuff about Evangelion so that I understand everything the first time.

I guess I should just be gracious and accept their consideration.

I put the tea bags into the tea server and poured the hot water in.

After a few minutes, I poured the tea into the cups I had set aside.

There we go. Perfectly normal, acceptable tea.

Not particularly great,

but not particularly awful, either.

Suddenly, as I was pouring the second cup, I noticed something.

The chattering had stopped.

……?

Next, I realized that the TV was on, when it hadn’t been earlier.

… Can I go cry just a bit?