Don’t make me take off your high school uniform.

2006/05/04 12:14

How are you all spending this string of holidays we call “Golden Week”?

Some go back home to visit family, some work part-time jobs, some go on vacation.

There are many ways to spend the break.

On that note,

I have a Golden Week story to share with all of you.

Late April.

As Y-ko and I walked through the town, as is our frequent habit,

we passed a group of high school boys wearing their school uniforms.

… After we walked by them, Y-ko mumbled in my ear.

Y-KO:	Don’t you just love uniforms? Especially those heavy button-up ones.
ME:	… Why are you soliciting approval from me?
Y-KO:	Oh, come on! You know those gakuran outfits are hot.
ME:	Since when did I ever have that opinion?!

How could I possibly get excited over those stuffy things?

Y-KO:	A male high school student and his gakuran! It’s the perfect combination!!
ME:	Listen to me!
Y-KO:	Shut up! Stop trying to interrupt my fantasies!!
ME:	Why are you yelling at me?!
Y-KO:	Ah! High school boys! The best!
ME:	… Let it go on the record that I am officially warning you not to commit any crimes.
Y-KO:	How rude! What crimes do you accuse me of attempting?
ME:	Attacking high school boys.
Y-KO:	Ha-ha-ha… Not funny. Why would I attack them? What would I do?
ME:	Well…
Y-KO:	It’s a pair of high school boys that I’m into!!

And she gave me an exasperated look like

What would be the point of me attacking them?

ME:	Actually, I think that would also be a crime, of a different sort.
Y-KO:	Oh, fine. I get it. You’re just jealous because I like high school boys.
ME:	Huh?!
Y-KO:	Fine, fine. If it makes you feel any better…
	I’ll wear my old high school uniform for you!!

… Huh?!

No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

You’re jumping way over several points in the conversation.

Y-KO:

I still have my uniform from high school, you know.

And I bet it really smells like Tansu Ni Gon right now!!

I mean, how many years old is that uniform at this point?!

Y-KO:

Heh-heh-heh. I’ll bring it back next time I see my parents.

No, that’s all right!

I’m not asking you to do it!

Y-KO:	…? What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Oh, I get it.
	You’re so excited at the prospect, you can’t even speak.

… No!!

ME:	… Miss Y-ko?
Y-KO:	Hmm?
ME:	I think a twentysomething in her high school outfit is a worse crime than attacking some innocent high school—aaargh!!

She stomped on me with her high heels!!

That hurts!!

It feels like my ankle’s just been carved with a knife!!

Y-KO:	Honey?
ME:	Yes?…!!

What’s with that terrible, mirthless smile?!

It’s so terrifying and fixed… just like a Noh mask!!

Y-KO:	The next time you make a crack about my age…
ME:	Y-y-y-y-y-yes?!
Y-KO:	I’ll kill you.
ME:	I-I-I-I-I’m sorry.
Y-KO:	Good. As I was saying, I’ll be getting my uniform next time I visit home.
ME:	I… I can hardly wait.

Oh, to hell with it.

Live and let live, I suppose.