What do you think of school uniforms?

2006/05/11 21:28

Smack in the middle of Golden Week.

After extolling the virtues of the high-collar, stuffy male uniform we call a gakuran,

Y-ko announced that she would later wear her own high school uniform.

I, of course, have no course of action but to declare my excitement at the prospect.

However,

Y-ko is not the sort of girl to be satisfied by this alone.

In fact, I think that the following was her true purpose.

Enjoy this conversation with Y-ko.

Y-KO:	So, did you have a gakuran for your school uniform?
ME:	Hmm? Yes, I did.
Y-KO:	… Well, I’m bringing my girl’s sailor uniform.
ME:	Huh?
Y-KO:	Doesn’t that mean you should be doing something in return?
ME:	Uh…
Y-KO:	I’m going back home at the next vacation, so you ought to bring your own uniform!!
ME:	………

… I should have figured.

In fact, I think I’ve already gotten rid of it.

It’s been four years since then, you know?

Of course, if we’re going by age, Y-ko’s uniform has another * years on mine, and she still kept it…

ME:	I think I already threw it away…
Y-KO:	Wh-what? Why?! You’re supposed to keep them, remember?!
ME:	Why would I do that?
Y-KO:	Because as long as you have your uniform, you can always be a high schooler! You’ll be a perpetual eighteen-year-old!!
ME:	… No, I think you can only pull that off for another two years, max…
	No ma’am, I didn’t say anything.

I have said nothing that would warrant being jabbed with a high heel again.

It hurts.

So do the glances of the people around us.

Y-KO:	Well, I was only kidding.
ME:	So you stabbed my foot as a joke?
Y-KO:	Why, did you want me to insult you and call you names, too?
ME:	Please, no…
Y-KO:	“You Sebas!!”
ME:	Seb…?! And you intend that to be an insult?!
	Does that mean you’ve always been insulting me?!
Y-KO:	Oh! Look, here come two more gakurans!
ME:	Don’t change the subject or look away from me.
Y-KO:	The one on the right is the uke, huh?
ME:	Please don’t plead for my agreement.
Y-KO:	… The right one is the uke?
ME:	I’m not the one you should be asking!!
Y-KO:	So selfish… And you just changed the subject.
ME:	… No, the one who is being selfish and changing the subject is you.
Y-KO:	Shut up. The problem is whether you still have your gakuran or not!
ME:	You think that’s the problem?!

Okay, fine. I get it.

I pulled out my phone and called home.

My mom is a housewife, so she’s bound to be home at this hour.

I’ll crush Y-ko’s hopes right here and now.

Of course my old school uniform is gone.

One ring, two rings.

Three and a half, and she picked up.

It’s been ages since I heard her voice.

I’m sorry that this is the best excuse I could find to call, Mom.

ME:	Uh, hello? It’s me.
Mom:	Hmm? What’s up? You rarely ever call.
ME:	Actually, I wanted to ask you something.
Mom:	What?
ME:	You threw away my gakuran, didn’t you? Like right after graduation?
Mom:	Gakuran… Oh, your uniform?
ME:	Yes, my uniform.
Mom:	No, I haven’t. I’ve kept it nice and safe in the dresser.

……… Huh? You haven’t gotten rid of it?

ME:	No, wait… What do you mean, you haven’t thrown it away?

Oh, crap. Y-ko just heard me say that and pumped her fist.

Mom:	Well, I was going to throw it away, but when I think of those three years you wore it, I just get so emotional…
ME:	Emotional?! What…? I don’t understand what you mean!
Mom:	Well, I mean… Oh, sorry! Pot’s boili—[Click.]

ME:	Pot?! What was that about a pot?! Hello?!

Mom?!… Mooom!!

…… She hung up.

……

Okay, look on the bright side.

Just because it’s still there doesn’t mean I have to bring it.

… So I won’t.

Yes, as long as I don’t bring it here, everything is fine.

Gotta say it.

Gotta tell her I won’t bring it back.

How would I explain to Mom what I plan to do with it, anyway?

“I’m not bringing it back.”

There.

That’s perfect.

I turned to Y-ko with purpose.

What’s with this aura of ecstasy around her?!

I just know she’s imagining something terrible!!

In fact, she just might be thinking about me!!

No, I know for a fact that she’s imagining me!!

And she looks so damn happy…