Epilogue Conversation

What can I do to go out with a fujoshi?

Recently, I’ve been seeing some questions in my mail folder along the lines of

“What can I do to go out with a fujoshi?”

So I’ll give you an answer here, but…

Remember that fujoshi are still girls,

and you can get close to them by treating them like any other girl.

Invite them to movies or out for dinner, have nice conversations with them,

and I can’t see why you wouldn’t have success.

ME:	… Plus, if you really love someone, you won’t really care about that stuff.
Y-KO:	Not to mention, normally the girl would prefer to hide her “rotten” hobbies from her boyfriend, you know?
ME:	… Strange, I thought I just heard you say something really hard to believe…
	Anyway, anything you’d want to warn about after you become an official couple?
Y-KO:	Like… accepting her fujoshi thoughts and finding out all of the things that turn her on, maybe?
ME:	I see. So what would those things be for you, for instance?
Y-KO:	Hmm? Well, obviously suits, glasses, all kinds of stuff.
ME:	What else?
Y-KO:	What else? Hmm… Maybe… cigarettes.
ME:	Cigarettes.

So typical…

Let me guess, next she’ll probably say “the sight of a man backing the car up.”

Y-KO:	I think I really have a thing for people who hold their cigarettes very elegantly. Even
	better if they take good care of their fingers and nails.
ME:	Aha…

… Better write that down so I can practice it later.

Wait—huh?

ME:	Uh, Y-ko, you know that I don’t smoke.
Y-KO:	Hmm? Yeah, I know.
ME:	… Can you love me even if I don’t smoke?
Y-KO:	Yeah. I hate the smell of it, anyway.
ME:	………… Pardon?
Y-KO:	I like people who hold cigarettes fashionably, but I hate people who smoke them.
ME:	…………………

Is this selfishness or just ludicrousness?

What are you supposed to do?

Sit around and eat cigarette-shaped chocolates like you’re really cool?

… Hmm?

ME:	Why did you decide you wanted to go out with me, then?
Y-KO:	Huh?
ME:	I mean, you’ve never even seen me holding a cigarette.
	Was there anything else that factored into the decision?
Y-KO:	… These are really embarrassing questions you’re asking…
ME:	Oh, what’s the big deal? Just answer!
Y-KO:	Well, if I had to list something…
ME:	It would be…?
Y-KO:	You put bookmarks in your books.

… Pardon?

ME:	Uh… bookmarks?
Y-KO:	Yeah. I thought that was really moe.

You found that to be really moe?

What a totally arbitrary thing!

So I tried to do all these things to make you like me, and they were for absolutely nothing?

I’m sort of shocked right now!!

… And I can’t stand the fact that I feel relieved that I did put those bookmarks in!!

Conclusion

We’ve explained about various moe points that people might have, such as

bookmarks, invitations out to movies, glasses without lenses, and suits,

but does executing these things properly guarantee that you can successfully woo a fujoshi?

Unfortunately, I cannot give you a nice and easy nod of the head in response to this.

To be perfectly honest, I think that Y-ko is a special case, and isn’t useful for comparisons.

ME:	Y-ko, I’m getting more questions about how to seduce a fujoshi…
Y-KO:	What? Put bookmarks in your book, wear a suit and glasses, and ask her to a movie!
ME:	That’s a very random suggestion…

Y-KO:	Look, different people will have different moe points, all right?
	Just because you know what makes me tick doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily work on other fujoshi!
ME:	That is a good point… But that still leaves the question…
Y-KO:	Why not teach them tactics to get women in general,
	not just how to get me in particular?
ME:	I see.
Y-KO:	By the way, what do you do when you try to get with a girl?
ME:	Go on the attack. Simple as that.
Y-KO:	Of course, the seme approach. You nasty sadist!
ME:	That’s not what I meant!
Y-KO:	Don’t try this at home, kids!
ME:	Who are you talking to?!
Y-KO:	We match up well since I’m a masochist at heart,
	but more normal people might be freaked out, so take care with this!
ME:	Seriously, who are you talking to? More importantly,
	you know you’re a complete and total sadist, woman!

………

In conclusion…

don’t use this blog for romantic advice.