SUIT.: 2006/12/23 23:07
Suit.
2006/12/23 23:07
Christmas presents.
I prefer to ask what the other person would want and then exchange the desired items on the big day.
So.
This year, for my Christmas present,
I requested what I wanted last year: a suit.
… Y-ko loves suits, too.
| Y-KO: | So, about the usual suit present… |
| ME: | Yes? |
| Y-KO: | I want to make it a surprise this year. |
| ME: | … Pardon? A surprise? |
| Y-KO: | Yes, a surprise. |
Surprise…
Which would mean, I’m assuming, that I won’t know precisely what kind of suit she bought me?
D-don’t tell me that she’s capable of eyeballing suit sizes so precisely, I won’t even need to try it on before she buys it!
What a pointless talent that would be!
But kind of nice!
… I thought on the spot,
but once again, she forged onward by betraying my expectations.
| Y-KO: | This year, you should buy your own Christmas present suit. |
| That way you can try it on yourself beforehand, right? | |
| ME: | … Huh? |
I’d pick out my own present?
True, that would eliminate any problems with the fit…
… but where’s the surprise in that?
| ME: | I have to pick out my own suit? |
| Y-KO: | That’s right. You’d better settle on a sharp one! |
| ME: | … Me picking out my own suit is a “surprise”? |
| Y-KO: | That’s right. |
… Uh.
… Okay.
So that’s your plan, Y-ko.
| Y-KO: | So, I won’t have any idea what kind of suit you bought until Christmas day! |
| I’m so excited to find out what sort of suit you’ll wear! |
| ME: | ………. |
… Yes.
Your entire idea is a surprise!
| Y-KO: | And if you make sure to bring home a suit that I like, there’ll be a reward in it for you. |
| ME: | … A reward? |
| Y-KO: | Yes! I will reward you by stepping on you! |
| ME: | How is that in any way a reward?! |
What a creepy sexual turn-on!
Sorry, Y-ko, but I don’t roll that way!
| Y-KO: | Oh, sorry. Good point. |
| ME: | Well, as long as you get it right… |
| Y-KO: | I’ll make sure to step on you with my high heels! |
| ME: | Never mind, you’ve got it completely wrong! |
What do you mean “make sure”?
You act as though that was the missing ingredient!
| ME: | Look, maybe you’re under a mistaken impression… I’m not a total masochist, babe! |
| You know that, right?! If anything——I’m a slight masochist! |
I definitely don’t derive any pleasure from being stepped on!
…… Right?… Yeah, right. I think.
I mean, I’m only a slight masochist. Just a slight one.
| Y-KO: | …… |
| ME: | …… |
| Y-KO: | …… |
| ME: | …… Would you stop giving me that cold, disgusted glare? |
| Y-KO: | Sorry, not gonna happen. |
| ME: | … Please? |
| Y-KO: | What about the suit? |
| ME: | … I’ll buy it on my own. |
| Y-KO: | Very good. I am expecting a gorgeous one, Sebas. |
| ME: | Yes, ma’am. I’m looking forward to it, too. I like picking out clothes. |
| Y-KO: | And you like being stepped on, too. |
| ME: | What’s with your obsession with stepping on me?! |
| Y-KO: | It’s a desire that stems from intellectual curiosity. |
| ME: | How is that in any way intellectual?! |
It’s a curiosity without the least shred of intellect involved!
I hate the fact that I thought “that wouldn’t be so bad” for just an instant!
| Y-KO: | Death by moe trampling? |
| ME: | What’s with the fixation with stepping on me?! |
| Plus, not only do I not find being stepped on “moe,” it also won’t kill me! | |
| Y-KO: | What if I wore my heels? |
| ME: | How did you get this belief that I love high heels so much?! |
| Y-KO: | Because I want shoes for my present this year. |
| Ones with nice high heels. | |
| ME: | …… I see. |
| Y-KO: | So let’s go buy some tomorrow. |
| ME: | … All right. |
That sure was a roundabout way to get to the point… So roundabout, it doesn’t even qualify as roundabout?
… Oh, whatever.
Sometimes I wish she would just come out and tell me what she wants without all the joking…
Merry Christmas, everyone.