Christmas.

2006/12/27 20:40

So.

This year’s Christmas.

As my girlfriend wished, she got her shoes.

On the other hand…

I went out and bought a suit Y-ko would like.

And remember, this is supposed to be my Christmas present we’re talking about.

Oh well, it’s not a big deal.

… A suit Y-ko would like.

This is a surprisingly difficult choice to make.

I’m a student, but I already own several suits.

I got most of them for the purpose of working part-time jobs, and Y-ko really seems to get a kick out of them, which is great, but…

Here comes another suit.

… Even Y-ko can’t wind up being completely thrilled when I end up bringing home another example of the same old thing.

So my plan is simple.

First, run through the items I already have.

Striped? Check.

Black? Check.

Gray? Check.

… I’ve got two buttons, three buttons, and even three buttons extending to the reverse of the flap.

… Huh?

Seems to me like I’ve got all the bases covered…

That means we have a problem.

No matter what I buy, I’ll have something resembling it in my closet already, which means any excitement Y-ko derives from the suit will be minimal.

That’s not a good thing.

That’s a very bad thing.

I even considered going the distance and buying a formal tuxedo.

But…

There’s hardly any call for a student to need a tuxedo.

Even if it does make Y-ko happy,

I have to admit that I hesitate at the thought of dropping a month’s worth of living expenses on an outfit simply for Y-ko’s sake.

So…

… What do I do?

As I wandered around the men’s garments area, mulling over my options,

I saw a term flash into the corner of my eye.

It was…

Three-piece suit.

… Yes.

The combination of a jacket and pants with…

… a vest added to the mix.

Yep.

Could this be the very thing that would capture Y-ko’s heart over any other option?

My choice was made…

December 24, Christmas eve.

At our prearranged meeting spot.

Y-KO:	Thanks for waiting… not long, I hope?
ME:	No, it’s fine.
	… Oh, like I promised, I’m wearing the new suit.
Y-KO:	Just what I’ve been waiting for… except for the coat that completely covers it!
ME:	Sorry, you’ll just have to wait.
Y-KO:	Take that thing off.
ME:	It’s too cold!
Y-KO:	I’m only kidding… but based on what I can see of your legs, it seems like a pretty normal outfit.
ME:	I suppose.
Y-KO:	It would have been funny to see you in an all-white suit or something.
ME:	… You want me to make a significant investment for the sake of being funny?
	Plus, this is a Christmas present, so it’s your money I’m talking about, you know?
Y-KO:	You’ve got a point. Let me rephrase that.
	It would have been moe to see you in an all-white suit.
ME:	… A significant investment for the sake of being moe?
Y-KO:	I’d be prepared to throw a few hundred thousand yen down for that.
ME:	No hesitation with that answer, huh…

Okay, so I knew to expect that…

I mean, every time I try to work a figure out of her for how much she’s spent on manga and djinshi over the years, the most I can get is a smile and an “I don’t even want to think about it.”

Not that she’d regret even a bit of it, regardless of how big that number was.

… I’m almost a bit jealous of the way she lives.

There’s nothing in my life that I can feel that enthusiastic about…

Y-KO:	Well, whatever. Let’s get going.
ME:	… Okay.

As we went to the dessert shop for the Christmas cake I had ordered,

I made sure to liberally compliment her on her new shoes, and then we headed back to Y-ko’s house.

Thirty minutes later.

ME:	Well, here we are.
Y-KO:	… Now get that coat off, Sebas, and let me have a good look at the suit you picked out!
ME:	… Well, all right…

I slowly unfastened the coat buttons.

Removed the article that had been covering the upper half of my suit all evening.

It’s showtime.

ME:	… Ta-daa!
Y-KO:	What? It looks just like any old——?!

She stopped moving.

There was silence.

ME:	……
Y-KO:	……
ME:	……
Y-KO:	Mr. Sebas.
ME:	Yes?
Y-KO:	What is that I can see peeking out from between your jacket and your shirt?
ME:	Why, that is what we call a vest.
Y-KO:	A vest, you say?
ME:	Correct.
Y-KO:	Meaning, beneath that jacket you are wearing another sleeveless suit.

… Sleeveless suit?

ME:	Well… Yes, I suppose you could describe it that way.
Y-KO:	… Sebas!
ME:	Yes?
Y-KO:	I will stomp you to your heart’s content tonight!
ME:	What kind of punishment is that!?
Y-KO:	It’s a reward, not a punishment!
ME:	If you want to reward me, think of something else!
Y-KO:	And I’m not going to skimp out on you with heels! I’ll go with full boots, my darling!
ME:	That can only result in broken bones.
Y-KO:	Oh, don’t worry! The boots are cushioned, so I’ll have plenty of support!
ME:	Not yours! I’m talking about my bones!
	If you stomp on me with boots, you’re going to crack my bones right in two!
Y-KO:	Oh, shut up about that already!
	Look——
	Just take it off.
ME:	B-but what about the cake?
Y-KO:	The cake doesn’t matter! Take that jacket off!
	Once it’s off, I’d damn well better see an outfit that a real Sebastian would wear!
	Hurry, hurry—take it off!

…!

Y-ko’s eyes are glinting with intent!

Y-KO:	—Oh, never mind.
ME:	… Huh?

…?

Wh-what?

Have I just been spared?

ME:	Umm… I don’t have to take it off now?
Y-KO:	Correct. I’ve got a better plan.

Y-KO:	Ahh… Merry Christmas, me!!
ME:	Well, I’m glad you’re happy…
Y-KO:	I’m glad to be alive!!
ME:	Uhh… cool…

Oh dear…

Her eyes are glittering and sparkling…

—She’s going to be so disappointed…

Once she learns that the back of this vest…

… is just plain lining.

That’s right.

The vest looks crisp and smart when viewed from the front.

But viewed from behind, it’s like this.

… Alas.

She’ll probably be furious… even though it’s not my fault.

If you have a problem with this, take it up with the gentlemen in England…

… I thought silently

as I pulled the jacket off.

Y-KO:	Eh-heh-heh… That’s right… Let’s see that… vest…
ME:	……
Y-KO:	……
ME:	……
Y-KO:	What’s with the back…?
ME:	… It’s sort of like lining… but that’s how they come.
Y-KO:	Why?
ME:	Because if the back was of the normal suit material, you’d get extremely muggy with the jacket on top like I just had.
	Also, it’s not considered normal protocol to wear just the vest without the jacket.

After all, the gentlemen in England who developed the three-piece suit could never have guessed that there would be people in Japan who would find the vest itself to be “moe.”

Y-KO:	… Yes, I see… So that’s why it’s plain lining…
ME:	… Y-ko…

Her eyes… They’re dead inside…

Well, she was really excited over the whole thing…

ME:	Please cheer up… If there’s anything I can do, just say the word.
Y-KO:	……… Anything…?
ME:	Yes. Well, keeping in mind that there are things I can and cannot do…
Y-KO:	… All right. Why don’t you get down on all fours over there?
ME:	Down on all fours…?
Y-KO:	And then wait. I’ll get the heels and boots.
ME:	What? What are you going to do?!
Y-KO:	Stomp on you.
ME:	I thought that was supposed to be a reward!
Y-KO:	Nope. I’ve changed my mind.
	If I had to call it something, it’d be——misguided rage?
ME:	Please, no!

And why am I getting in trouble for buying a three-piece suit just to make her happy?!