Taking My Girlfriend to Meet My Parents, Part 3.

2007/01/12 22:55

After ten-plus hours in an airplane,

the craft touched down safely in an international airport within America.

After passing through customs (Y-ko having survived the process handily),

we walked to the lobby, where we would meet my parents.

As they weren’t there yet, we sat on a bench to wait.

Either out of relief at making it through the customs gauntlet unscathed

or trepidation at the imminent meeting with my parents—

Y-ko was slightly more wound up than usual.

Y-KO:	Oh, crap! We’re in New York! Starting today, I’m a New Yorker!
ME:	Well, I can certainly tell you you’re not a New Yorker.
Y-KO:	Who cares? It’s a mental thing!
ME:	A mental thing?
Y-KO:	Plus, remember how I was able to speak English properly?
ME:	… You were?
Y-KO:	Yes. I told the flight attendant I wanted “pasta, please.”
	The fact that I was able to communicate with a foreigner means I’m a New Yorker now!
ME:	Sounds like the bar has been set pretty low…
Y-KO:	But when she said, “Something or pasta,” I couldn’t make out what the other word was, so I just ended up going with pasta.
ME:	You don’t make much of a New Yorker!
Y-KO:	Bah. So what? I’m a Tokyoite to the core.
ME:	That’s the first I’ve heard of it!
Y-KO:	I’m a true-blue child of Tokyo.
ME:	… When you eat soba noodles, how much do you dip them in the broth?
Y-KO:	Not at all, actually.
ME:	Wow, you are a Tokyoite!

The stereotype is that people from Tokyo don’t like to use much broth with their soba!

Y-KO:	Plus, I don’t think you’re so bad yourself.
ME:	… Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Now we’re moving on to puns?

The sentiment is appreciated, however.

Y-KO:	In fact, that soba you made with yam was incredible.
ME:	Thank you!

Wait, now it’s not a pun?

This is so embarrassing! This conversation is driving me crazy!

Y-KO:	Really, it was awesome.
ME:	Great…
Y-KO:	How’d you make the broth?
ME:	Five parts water to each part stock!

It was your ordinary bottled broth from the store!

In fact, so were the noodles! The entire thing was bought at the grocery store,

which would mean that my preparation had absolutely no effect on the taste!

Y-KO:	I see. So that’s your secret ingredient, huh?
ME:	Which part, the water or the stock?
Y-KO:	The stock.
ME:	Using preprepared stock kind of negates the entire concept of a secret ingredient.

How is any of that “secret”?

It’s all coming from a bottle of seaweed noodle broth.

Thanks, Yamasa Corporation, for your fine line of soy sauce–based products!

As our usual frivolous repartee carried on,

I received a call on my phone.

… It’s from Dad.

Beep—

ME:	Hello?
DAD:	Aha! Did you land all right?
	We’re about to reach the airport. Where are you?
ME:	Uhh, we’re sitting on a bench in front of the car rental counter.
DAD:	Okay, great. We’ll be there in another five minutes.
ME:	Got it. See you then.

Beep—

Conversation over.

ME:	They’ll be here in five minutes.
Y-KO:	… Okay. Getting nervous now.

… Aha.

She’s nervous; she’s nervous!

It’s nice to see this side of her for once.

Y-KO:	… You can’t help but get shaky nerves once this moment comes around.
ME:	Ha-ha. See how I felt last year?
Y-KO:	Yeah. It was a lot of fun seeing you freak out, though.
ME:	And now the tables are turned.
Y-KO:	I guess they are.
ME:	I’m sure you’ll get used to my parents right away, though.
	They’re the kind of people who can open up to strangers immediately.
Y-KO:	But still, it won’t change the fact that I’m nervous…
ME:	Ha-ha, just be yourself.
Y-KO:	Myself…?
ME:	That’s right. Be who you really are. The usual one I see all the time…
Y-KO:	…… The usual me?
ME:	…… The usual you…

Our eyes met.

Yes.

My geeky, fujoshi girlfriend.

Y-KO:

……… Are you sure that’s a good idea?

… Well, at least she’s aware that it could be considered a problem.

Of course, she wouldn’t be a secret fujoshi if she wasn’t aware of that.

ME:	……… Really, I think you can afford to be the usual Y-ko.
Y-KO:	I can?
ME:	Wouldn’t you get exhausted trying to pretend to be someone else all the time?
Y-KO:	Well, yeah, but…
ME:	I’m not saying you should force your otaku nature out into the open,
	but you should not have to force it into the closet, either.

Yep.

It’s going to be a monumentally draining task to hide something like that your whole life.

She ought to take some of the weight off her shoulders.

ME:	Plus, my parents are fans of manga.
Y-KO:	Really?! Wow, I’m feeling closer to them already.
ME:	In fact, they gave me an entire manga set for a Christmas present one year.
Y-KO:	You never told me that.
ME:	Man, that takes me back… Had the whole series lined up on the shelf.
Y-KO:	Which one?
ME:	A History of Japan manga series.
Y-KO:	That’s what I figured! Good thing I didn’t get my hopes up.
ME:	Okay, enough of the jokes.

Here we go.

I stood up and grabbed my luggage.

Pointed my finger at a couple that had just entered the lobby.

ME:	My parents are here.
Y-KO:	……
ME:	C’mon, let’s go.

Y-ko and I started walking toward them.

They seemed to have spotted us as they were now walking in our direction.

ME:	Still nervous?
Y-KO:	Can’t you tell? I’m stiff as a board.
ME:	Ha-ha, you can play it natural.
	It’s not like you’re coming here to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage.
Y-KO:	Good point. If anything, I’m asking for their son instead.
ME:	I can’t imagine a moment in this trip when that will be necessary.
Y-KO:	Right now!
ME:	Umm… Are you sure you’re really feeling nervous…?
Y-KO:	Hey, you were the one who told me to act natural.
ME:	I figured there would be some kind of limit to that.

Who is she kidding? She’s cool as a cucumber right now.

And then we arrived at my parents’ side.

… It’s been quite a while since I saw them, as a matter of fact.

ME:	Well… Long time no see. Have you been good?
DAD:	Yep.
MOM:	Yes.
ME:	……

… Uh, excuse me?

I’m talking to you, so you could afford to throw me a glance or two.

Clearly excited, they stared straight at my girlfriend.

… I suppose I should do the introductions.

ME:	Uhh… Well, this is my father, and this is my mother.
DAD:	It’s so good of you to take care of this big lug for us.
MOM:	It’s nice to meet you.
ME:	And this is my girlfriend, Y-ko.

—What happened to acting like your natural self, Y-ko!? You’re acting like some kind of Goody Two–shoes!

… And look at that!

I can see that look in my parents’ eyes! It’s that well done, my boy! look!

… Though thinking on it now, Y-ko’s always had a talent for disguising herself as someone else.

This is probably small beans to her!