Taking My Girlfriend to Meet My Parents, Part 6.

2007/02/06 18:29

We finished dinner and returned to our room to prepare for our baths.

As soon as we got inside the room, Y-ko began laughing.

Y-KO:	Ha-ha-ha. Boy, that was a great story! I’m glad I came!
ME:	……… Well, I’m happy that you’re enjoying yourself.

Y-ko was beaming full faced after hearing those stories about my childhood.

… No, wait.

This is less of a “beam” and more of a “leer.”

… Oh man, that is scary.

Y-KO:	Well, it was funny and all… but it was also pretty endearing.
ME:	Really? That lame story?
Y-KO:	Yeah. I thought it was really cute.
ME:	Well, that’s nice… though I don’t know if I should be happy about that or not.
Y-KO:	From now on, I’ll just have to call you SuperheroSebas!
ME:	Okay, you don’t actually think it’s endearing at all, do you?

She’s just pulling my leg!

Plus, that’s a pretty long nickname!

Y-KO:	Oh, I’m kidding. But I do think it’s a nice story.
ME:	Well, thanks…
Y-KO:	… Come here. I’ll give you a pat on the head for being a good boy.
ME:	Why?! And what exactly did I do to deserve it?
Y-KO:	I’m going to give you a pat for growing up the right way.
ME:	Rrgh…!
Y-KO:	Come on, get over here.
ME:	……

… I walked over to Y-ko’s side.

The palm of her hand rubbed the top of my head.

Y-KO:	There we go. Good boy.
ME:	Ugggh…

What is this emotion? It’s like embarrassment mixed with reluctance to pull away!

… Dammit! I can tell that I’m enjoying this!

I got our toiletries together for the bath and took Y-ko to the bathroom.

Since she was the guest in the house, I let her start first.

My mom showed us how to use the showerhead.

American showers work slightly differently from the ones in Japan.

MOM:	And if you press this here, it’ll come out of the shower.
Y-KO:	Okay, I see. Thank you for the explanation.
MOM:	… And what are you doing here?

She looked at me with a quizzical expression.

ME:	Well, I need to learn how it works, too.
Y-KO:	What? You aren’t coming in with me?
ME:	I’m amazed that you would suggest such a thing in front of my own mom!
Y-KO:	Ha-ha-ha, just kidding… Here.

… Here?

She put her arms up in the air for some reason.

ME:	… What do you want?
Y-KO:	Take my shirt off.
ME:	You are unbelievable!

What is she thinking?!

And why is Mom laughing her ass off?!

Y-KO:	As you can see, ma’am, this is how I treat him.
MOM:	Ha-ha-ha. You’re right, he does act funny when you tease him.
ME:	Well, okay, I can’t deny that, but—
Y-KO:	He’s a very reliable worker, however.
MOM:	What, really?
Y-KO:	Yes. He’s been a huge help on many occasions.
MOM:	Really… Where did we go wrong?
ME:	You went wrong?!
	Shouldn’t you consider that a smashing success?!
MOM:	You could say that, too.
ME:	No, you could only say that.
MOM:	Well, I’m just not used to hearing my son paid compliments, so I didn’t know how to respond.
ME:	What does this say about my reputation with you guys?!

I’ve been given compliments all the time!

Is this how you responded each time that happened?

MOM:	I’m sorry. You know your old mom—I’m a ditz.
ME:	The ditz excuse only works while you’re still in your twenties!
Y-KO:	Really…? So I can use that and get away with it?
ME:	What are you planning to do, Y-ko?!

And then my dad appeared.

DAD:	I’m done with the wash, dear…
	Whoa! Are you taking a bath with Y-ko?

Dad… Don’t make things any worse.

We’ve already been through this joke.

Y-KO:	Yes, we’re going in together.
DAD:	What?!
ME:	Why would you say that, Y-ko?!
Y-KO:	… Oops, sorry. You know me, I’m just a ditz.
MOM:	And she’s safe!
ME:	No she’s not!
	I don’t care if she’s still in her twenties; it’s not an automatic excuse!

And that one was clearly an out!

I’m the one who writes the rule book!

DAD:	… Is it just me, or have your put-downs been sharpened since the last time we saw you?
MOM:	They cut harder… and they have a strong flavor.
ME:	Okay, I understand the “cut”… but “flavor”?
	Am I a beer now?
MOM:	Fizz!
ME:	What is that, a sound effect?
DAD & MOM:	Fizz, fizz!
ME:	Stop harmonizing!

Oh yeah! I remember now!

For some reason, I forgot that my parents are huge pains in the ass!

MOM:	Oh, honey?
DAD:	Hmm? What?
MOM:	If you’re done with the wash, will you wipe down the table?
DAD:	Already did it.
MOM:	Okay. I’ll pour some drinks later if you get the glasses out.
DAD:	You got it!

Hmm-hm-hm-hmmm.

Dad turned back toward the living room, humming.

… Come on, Y-ko. Don’t smile like that.

I know what’s going on.

I’d always had an inkling it was the case.

I just didn’t want to admit it.

—The reason I can’t snap back at you…

—I guess this is what they mean by, “You can’t fight your nature.”