Inhuman Monster.

2007/03/08 20:27

Well.

In the previous update, I made a statement to the effect that “school libraries would never stock anything like BL,” but…

… it appears that school libraries do have BL…

I must admit that I have underestimated the diversity of our places of learning…

Y-KO:	… So school libraries do have BL…?
ME:	The truth can be shocking… and did you really not know that?
Y-KO:	Huh? Well, I don’t go to a library to borrow books,
	I just buy my own. Especially when it comes to BL.
ME:	So it’s been that way since you were a student?
Y-KO:	When it comes to my book collection, I can probably beat your average library.
	Especially when it comes to BL.
ME:	That’s not something I’d prefer to gloat about.
Y-KO:	Want to read some?
ME:	…… I’ll pass, thanks.
Y-KO:	What a waste. I guess I’ll have to do it, then.… Here we go.
ME:	Go ahead, be my g—Wait a minute! Where did you get that book?!
Y-KO:	Huh? From your bookcase.
ME:	Was that always there?!

No, it definitely wasn’t!

I check every week to make sure the number of books stays the same!

Especially before I have friends over to hang out!

Y-KO:	Heh-heh-heh, that’s my secret skill: the mundane dust cover!
	I bet you’ve used that trick with your dirty materials before!

… What in the world are you doing?

ME:	I’ve never gone to such lengths to hide a book!
Y-KO:	I guess you’re right… Porno mags don’t have dust covers, so it wouldn’t work.
ME:	No, that’s not the reason why I don’t do it…
Y-KO:	Oh, are you the DVD type? I bet if I popped open the case of Home Alone, I’d find a completely different disc inside!
ME:	Let’s try not to get too in-depth with this discussion…
	… Though you’re right, I do have Home Alone on DVD…
Y-KO:	Oh, I switched the disc out.
ME:	And put what inside?! When did you do this?!
Y-KO:	Well, you know. Remember how you found out about me putting BL things into your pocket Six Codes case?
ME:	Yes, and it was a very unpleasant surprise…

Imagine seeing the nation’s code of law replaced by BL…

Thanks to that, I’ve been taught to check the contents of my cases habitually…

Y-KO:	Plus, it goes against my personal philosophy to get caught twice with the same method.
	I’ve been looking into alternate methods of hiding my BL materials.
ME:	Look… The reason I don’t want you to bring them into my room…
	… is because I’m afraid that my friends will run across them…
Y-KO:	… Huh? Well, why do you think I’m trying to find ways to hide them?
ME:	Good point! Quite salient! I never realized you were so considerate, Y-ko!
Y-KO:	I know, right?
ME:	Wrong.

I pinched her cheeks and pulled them apart.

Byoiiing.

… Of course, I made sure not to go too far.

Y-KO:

… Mwwohohhww!

Well, I can’t understand her if she talks like that.

I let go of her cheeks.

ME:	… Sorry, you were saying?
Y-KO:	Stop that! What if that causes me to awaken to the pleasures of masochism?
ME:	Is that what you’re worried about?!

I don’t think there’s any cause for concern—you’ll be a black-hearted sadist your entire life!

ME:	I have to admit, though… I’m impressed at your hiding skills…
Y-KO:	They’re good, huh? I’ve been working on them for years.
	As a matter of fact, my hiding system has 108 different techniques!
ME:	Another Prince of Tennis reference, I see…

As a matter of fact,

after the incredible popularity of the Atobe reference last post (so many comments!!), I had to see what the manga was like these days, and it’s really gone off the deep end, hasn’t it?

And to think, when I was in middle school, the most extreme move in the series was the twist serve…

Y-KO:	Of course, in my own apartment, I don’t bother to hide the BL at all.
ME:	I feel that is a problem in and of itself.
Y-KO:	Shut up. You’d be surprised at how useful this object-hiding skill is, though.
	Like when I’m searching for other people’s porno stuff. I already know where I’d hide it!
ME:	Sounds like an incredibly pointless skill. And you didn’t find any in my room, did you?

… At least, none that weren’t brought in by you, yourself.

Y-KO:	Exactly! I was so disappointed not to find anything!
	I even abandoned my pride, crawling on the floor, looking behind the shelves,
	in case there were any holes big enough for a ballpoint pen stem to fit through!
ME:	Who would go to those lengths for mere porno mags?!
Y-KO:	Heh… You only say that because you have no idea of the shock of coming home one day only to learn that your family had discovered your secret stash and put it on display, neat and tidy in your bookcase… If you knew that terrible shame, you’d develop a double-stacked secret drawer to hide your goodies, too!
ME:	Wow… Is that coming from personal experience, then?
Y-KO:	Oh, yes. You wouldn’t believe the screaming.
ME:	… Sounds like it was pretty traumatic for you.
Y-KO:	Huh? Me? No, I was the one who found the stash.
	My brother was the victim.

Oh dear God!!

ME:	Is that the reason why I didn’t see you and your brother speaking very much when I went to visit your family last year?!

It certainly sounds like the kind of thing that could easily tear a sibling relationship into shreds!

And I have to thank God that I never had a little sister like her!

Y-KO:	So, don’t bother trying to hide any porno mags from here on out.
	I’ll find them all and hang them up in a public place while you’re out of the house.
ME:	You inhuman monster!

Oh, the barbarity of it all!

Y-KO:	Oh, it’s not like I told Mom and Dad about it.
ME:	… And why not?
Y-KO:	Because then I could get him to pay for my silence.
ME:	……

* Behind the drawer: A trick that Light Yagami, protagonist of Death Note, utilized with the desk in his bedroom.

* 108 techniques: A reference to the 108-technique Hadokyu style that appears in Prince of Tennis, a tennis manga that is steadily transforming into a fighting manga.