Trouble Descends.

2007/05/16 21:20

I finished buying the groceries for dinner and returned to Y-ko’s place.

After opening the door with the spare key, I was met with the sight of Y-ko

frozen in the Kamehameha position.

—Awkward.

This really feels awkward.

ME:	……
Y-KO:	……
ME:	… What are you doing?
Y-KO:	Ha… ha-ha-ha. You caught me in an embarrassing situation.

And laughing shyly, she pulled the earphones out.

… Watching anime on her computer again, I see.

ME:	… Dragon Ball this time?
Y-KO:	Grr, how can you tell?!
ME:	Well, it was pretty obvious from the pose.
Y-KO:	… I was watching the scene where Gohan shows Videl how to float, and I thought I might be able to do it, too.
ME:	Well, I can understand the intention…
Y-KO:	So I was just making a “wouldn’t it be nice to fly” kind of pose… see?
ME:	See? See what…?
	Plus, that was clearly the Kamehameha pose.
	I think you’d be dismayed at the results of pulling off one of those in your room.
Y-KO:	Oh, come on. Of course I can’t shoot a Kamehameha. Are you that dumb?
ME:	……
Y-KO:	……?

She called me dumb.

Someone who was just making the Kamehameha pose in her room called me dumb.

… If I had Saiyan blood running in my veins,

I would have gone Super Saiyan after that comment.

Y-KO:	Videl is really quite the tsundere, by the way.
ME:	Oh.
Y-KO:	To think, a character that fits my aesthetic vision perfectly, made over a decade ago!
	Never underestimate the power of Akira Toriyama. I’ve made up my mind!
	From now on, I want to be just like Videl.
ME:	… As long as it doesn’t cause me grief, I’m all for it.
Y-KO:	Of course it won’t cause you grief. It’ll be fine.
	But all of that aside, Sebas…
ME:	Yes?
Y-KO:	I want you to strike the Great Saiyaman pose.
ME:	What kind of harassment is this?!

Look at that, a whole wheelbarrow full of grief!

Y-KO:	Uh, you can do his f… foo… hyoo… hyoojon form.
ME:	Wrong! It’s pronounced “fusion,” not “hyoojon.”
Y-KO:	That’s what I said, fusion. Do it.
ME:	No. Plus, I don’t want to bother the people downstairs.
Y-KO:	Okay, fine. Do it in midair.
ME:	I can’t! Only anime people can fly!
	And what the hell is with this obsession today?!
Y-KO:	I got an e-mail from your mother today.
ME:	……… And?
Y-KO:	I hear that at the elementary school talent festival, you and a friend struck the fusion pose.
ME:	Ah… ah…

Mom……

You are ruining my life……

How could you tell her about that?

It’s so embarrassing, I’d managed to forget the whole thing, but you just had to go and tell her, of all people…

Y-KO:	Fusion in front of the entire student body. What a gutsy move.
ME:	Well, what else should I have done? Dragon Ball was all the rage back then…
	We put lots of Shnen Jump jokes into our script for laughs…
	And I was also the only person who was the right height compared to the other person.
Y-KO:	Wow, you even had the heights figured out…
	I bet I could get along great with the person who wrote your script.
	… Oh, but that’s not all I heard about.
	Apparently, when you were in kindergarten, you practiced in front of the mirror, trying to move faster than your reflection.
ME:	……

… Mom…

Have I done something to make you hate me?

Y-KO:	And when dinner came around, you told your dad,
	“I moved faster than the mirror! Will I be a superhero now?”
ME:	……
Y-KO:	Oh, would you stop slumping on all fours on the floor?
	That’s not the pose I was asking for. Great Saiyaman or fusion pose only, please.

Sigh…

I haven’t seen Y-ko having this much fun in ages!

Dammit!

Why do I feel such despair?!

Y-KO:	Man… This is all much too cute.
	Why didn’t you tell me about your adorable past?
ME:	Why would anyone willingly drudge up their embarrassing past?
Y-KO:	Oh, you rascal. Big sister’s very proud of you.
	You were such a little sweetheart!
ME:	……!
Y-KO:	But now it’s time to return to your mischievous past!
	I’ll be Great Saiyaman number two, so you handle number one’s pose.”
ME:	Absolutely not!! You have zero intention of making that pose, do you?!
Y-KO:	Damn, busted.
ME:	I knew it…
Y-KO:	Don’t let it bother you… Ooh, got another message. What does this one say…?
	Ohh, it sounds like she still has video of that talent show presentation.
ME:	What?! Why does she still have that?!
	And more importantly, what kind of e-mails have you been trading with my mom?!
Y-KO:	What kind? The Top 100 Most Embarrassing Stories involving you.
ME:	Mom… What are you doing to me…?

Of all the horrible shocks!

My own mother has turned to the enemy’s side!!

Y-KO:	—Oh, and I’ve been thanking her for these stories by reporting more embarrassing tales about you (in the present) in return.
ME:	……

Th… this is no time to be crying!!

Hang in there, me… Hang in there!!