1

Near U.A. High School, Shota Aizawa led All Might to a back-alley izakaya started by a former faculty member of the U.A. Business Course. The well-worn noren curtain facing the alley bore the name of the establishment—Sanzaru, meaning “three monkeys”—and just behind it stood a ratty sliding door that promised cheap eats within. Ducking past the curtain and through the door revealed just the sort of hole one might expect to find down an alley, with a counter that seated five or six and a few standard tables. Nestled off to the side was a low table for customers who preferred sitting on the floor, on tatami mats, with an alcove featuring a daruma and other typical izakaya decorations.

It was only a bit past opening time, which probably explained why the place was empty. The smiling yet taciturn proprietor invited All Might and Aizawa to take the low table, and they did so, sitting down opposite each other. Within minutes, they had appetizers, drinks, and bone-shaped chopstick holders in front of them. As a nondrinker, All Might had ordered nonalcoholic beer, while Aizawa got a glass of the real stuff.

“How about a toast?” said All Might. His right arm was bound in a cast, so his left held the glass aloft.

“To what, exactly?” asked Aizawa, making his companion stop and think.

“To a successful round of home visits, let’s say.”

The training camp earlier that summer had been meant to prepare the students to test for their provisional hero licenses, but everything had gone awry when the League of Villains had attacked and kidnapped Katsuki Bakugo. A few days later, heroes and law enforcement came together to organize a pair of raids designed to rescue Bakugo and put an end to the league, and the operation ended with a brutal battle between All Might and the league’s mastermind, the man known only as All For One. All Might’s Quirk, “One For All,” had been passed down through the generations in order to one day defeat All For One, but since All Might had already given it to Izuku Midoriya, he’d had to fight this final battle with what few embers remained within him. The clash left him drained of his former might, forcing him to announce his retirement from his position as top hero.

Though the wicked mastermind was now in prison, his successor—Tomura Shigaraki—and the rest of the League of Villains had slipped through the authorities’ fingers. All For One had revealed during the battle that Shigaraki was in fact the grandson of All Might’s own master, which gave the hero more than a little pause. Despite this, he’d resolved to focus on the task at hand—raising Midoriya to be the next Symbol of Peace.

Though safety and security for its students had always been a priority, the recent events had prompted U.A. High to step up its game by implementing a dormitory system. The faculty also hoped this change would allow them to identify a potential mole who had been leaking intel to the villains.

During the home visits they’d made that day, All Might and Aizawa had explained the dorm system to the parents while formally asking permission for the school to look after their children in a greater capacity. At one point during the day, All Might had promised to buy Aizawa a drink.

“Anyhow, cheers!”

“Good work today.”

Their glasses clinked, and it was down the hatch with the chilled beers. Nothing quite like that cold fizz at the end of a summer’s day. All Might had newfound resolve about his role as an educator, so it was on days like this one that he wished he could still drink the hard stuff. As he placed his glass down, he was shocked to find that Aizawa was still going at it; by the time Aizawa slammed his own glass onto the table with a satisfied “Phew,” it was completely empty.

“You don’t hold back, do you, Aizawa? Fond of booze, I take it?”

“No more than anyone else.”

All Might reached for the large bottle to pour Aizawa another, but the latter said, “Don’t bother. Easier for me to,” before filling his glass for a second time. It suddenly dawned on All Might that he and Aizawa had never been alone like this before, so why not take advantage?

These two didn’t exactly see eye to eye. While Aizawa lived by the law of rationality, All Might was always going above and beyond as the Symbol of Peace, providing a little more than anyone asked for. But now Aizawa was class 1-A’s homeroom teacher, with All Might as his official backup, so of course it’d make more sense if they could communicate and get along. All Might figured that alcohol was just the thing to relax Aizawa’s rational ways and break down the wall guarding his inner thoughts.

Today’s the day I really become friends with Aizawa!

With clenched fists, All Might turned his thoughts to this goal—finding a topic they could bond over.

“You come here often?” asked All Might.

“Now and then,” replied his tight-lipped companion.

“Sure, sure. Any recommendations from the menu?”

“Um… I never eat much here. Should we order something for you?”

“Ah, that’s all right. I don’t eat much in general.”

Aizawa had managed to drain his glass again during this uneventful exchange. He poured himself some more and finished it just as quickly.

“You never told me you’re such a hard drinker, Aizawa.”

“I’m not, really.”

Huh? He still seems perfectly sober?

All Might flashed a friendly smile but tilted his head in puzzlement. Even with three whole glasses of beer in him, Aizawa was his usual detached self. He drank so nonchalantly that All Might wondered if the proprietor hadn’t accidentally brought a bottle of nonalcoholic stuff.

“That’s real beer, right?” said All Might, checking the bottle’s label.

“Obviously.”

“Do you not get drunk, then?”

“I don’t remember ever getting drunk,” said Aizawa after a brief pause.

So the guy can handle his liquor. All Might was still convinced that a drunk Aizawa would be more open to friendship, so he encouraged his companion to keep pounding them back. Aizawa obliged.

“Tell me—what do you do on your days off, Aizawa?”

“I sleep.”

“Any TV shows you’re into lately?”

“Not really.”

“I hear that a good hot compress does wonders for dry eye!”

“I’m aware.”

With a rigid, strained smile on his face, All Might racked his brain. Aizawa seemed no different than usual, but “usual” meant being at school, surrounded by noise and action. In stark contrast, the izakaya proprietor said nothing and no cars rumbled past in the alley outside, so when the two heroes’ conversation flatlined, an awkward silence settled over the place. Meanwhile, Aizawa showed no signs of inebriation. Maybe he never would. Maybe he’d only agreed to come on the spur of the moment but was already regretting it. Clearly not interested in conversation, Aizawa just kept drinking.

Oh lord…

No villain could make All Might flinch, but a spot of awkwardness was enough to make him crumple. It’d been too much to expect that he and Aizawa would be instant friends, especially since his companion was likely also aware how much their outlooks on life differed. But a memory from earlier in the day suddenly popped into All Might’s mind.

“Because I’m gonna be a hero!”

That had been Midoriya’s declaration to his mother when she’d seemed ready to withdraw him from school. The boy was willing to sacrifice U.A. as long he could still attend another school with a hero course.

I can’t give up either!

All Might was determined to support his brave little successor, who never stopped pursuing his dreams. What sort of mentor would he be if a little awkwardness stopped him in his tracks? Besides, from the moment he’d decided to go drinking with Aizawa, All Might had had a certain question on his mind. It wasn’t one that would necessarily lead to friendship, but it felt just as important. All Might cleared his throat and spoke.

“Can I ask you something, Aizawa?”

“What is it now?”

“Do you have any tips for teaching? Or a way to get in the right frame of mind, as an educator?”

Aizawa squinted and furrowed his brow, as if he’d just been accused of having two heads. All Might hastily went on.

“Since I’m still so new to this teaching gig, I mean.”

Since All Might had questions about a profession, why not ask a professional? Though Aizawa was no charmer, he’d already earned the trust of twenty impressionable adolescents, so All Might was hoping to emulate the man’s approach to education. In a two-birds-one-stone sense, shoptalk might also be the thing to help them bond.

All Might was ready for an answer, but Aizawa remained silent.

“Aizawa?”

The taciturn teacher scratched at his cheek, seemingly annoyed.

“If there are tips out there, I wish someone would tell me. We’re dealing with a whole set of different personalities and backgrounds, each growing at different rates. If there were a quick and easy instruction manual for this job, society would’ve been villain-free a long time ago.”

Aizawa had been an educator for years, so the weight of his words hit All Might hard.

“Right. Of course…” said All Might. He shrank a bit, visibly ashamed that he’d been hoping for shortcuts at a job as important as this. He’d even been planning to look for how-to books on the way home, thinking the answers would be easily laid out for him.

“You’re saying it’s important to recognize each student as an individual, right? I’m routinely shocked by how fast those boys and girls seem to grow. In fact, one who’s always walked in my shadow seems to be setting his own course lately…” All Might was still looking deflated, but a hint of joy glinted in his eyes as he sipped his drink. Listening in silence, Aizawa shot him a suspicious look.

“And who might that be?”

“Huh?” said All Might, lifting his head. The student he had in mind was, of course, Midoriya.

“I’ve been meaning to say something, actually.”

“Really, now? I’m open to any and all advice!”

“About Midoriya.”

At the sound of his mentee’s name, All Might’s heart nearly stopped, and it took every ounce of willpower to keep a straight face.

“W-what about Midoriya, exactly?”

“I don’t think you should play favorites the way you do.”

“N-no, it’s not like that…”

“He’s got a similar Quirk to yours, and he puts in the effort to match, so I get your interest in him. Educators are human, too. But you can’t let that show so much. That sort of bias is antithetical to your role as a teacher.”

Midoriya’s Quirk wasn’t just similar—he had the exact same Quirk that All Might had once possessed, though All Might couldn’t very well come out and tell Aizawa that. Besides, Aizawa wasn’t wrong; successor and mentee or not, Midoriya shouldn’t be getting special treatment from a member of the U.A. faculty. All Might suddenly doubted himself, wondering if he’d been shortchanging his other students.

“Yes, you’re right…” he said, shrinking even more, like a schoolboy scolded by a teacher.

We’ll never get chummy at this rate!

The cloud of awkwardness hanging over the room had only grown.

“Also…” began Aizawa, but his ringing phone cut him off.

“Heya! MC Mic is crashing the 1-A teachers’ secret get-together! Start me off with a beer, Chief! Hang on—‘start me off’? That seems a little rude to the beer, considering it’s about to keep me company!”

After hearing about the rendezvous on the phone from Aizawa, it hadn’t taken Present Mic even five minutes to show up and plop himself down next to his colleague, who hadn’t technically extended an invitation.

“What’s up with that, giving me the cold shoulder? You’re s’posed to let me know whenever you’re going drinking!”

“Leave.”

“One-word answer? Brrr, man, brrr! That shoulder’s positively icy! Hey, Chief, how about some piping hot yakitori skewers to raise the temp over here! Salt flavor! Might as well toss in some morokyu, shiokara, and karaage too!”

Present Mic’s show-stopping appearance livened the place up instantly, making a more relaxed All Might breathe a sigh of relief. Aizawa and Mic had been classmates themselves, so they already got along, so to speak.

Mic’s beer showed up soon after he bellowed out the order, and he raised his glass in a toast.

“Knocking back a cold one after work is my idea of heaven, boys! You two make for an odd couple, though—like oil and water! Manage to do any mixing yet?”

Argh! Don’t make a point of it!

All Might panicked, since Mic was never one for delicacy around sensitive issues. The sharp-eyed Mic noticed All Might’s discomfort and grinned.

“Oh? Try to mix oil and water, and they just stay separate, huh? This’s why you shoulda invited me from the start, since I’m the kinda guy who can liven up any party! And hey, ain’t this our first time sharing drinks, All Might?”

“I believe it is, yes.”

There’d been talks of a welcome party for All Might at the start of the school year, but circumstances just hadn’t allowed for it. The food arrived, and All Might asked Mic a question while picking at his plate.

“Do you go drinking with Aizawa much?”

“Sometimes! I invite this guy out plenty enough, but he’s a tough nut to crack!”

“Who could possibly go drinking that often? I’d rather spend my Sundays doing nothing,” said Aizawa, butting in.

“What are days off for, if not hangovers?”

“Literally anything else.”

“You gotta do some irrational stuff once in a while, buddy!”

The sight of Mic egging on his apathetic friend was a common one in the staff room at school, but throwing alcohol into the mix only seemed to dial it up several notches. Somehow, though, Aizawa actually looked more relaxed than earlier, meaning that Present Mic had managed what All Might had not. He’d have to watch and learn from this performance.

“You two were in the same year at U.A., right? Mind if I ask how you became friends, despite your, er, differences?”

Mic gave an enthusiastic nod.

“Right, sure! Well, my friend here never seemed to have much to say, so I figured it was my job to chat him up and loosen his nerves!”

“I was never nervous,” grumbled Aizawa, sipping his beer and still apparently stone-cold sober.

Paying the quip no mind, Mic went on. “Given how little he talked, I was convinced he was a robot made to look like a real boy! Plus, he’d always snooze during breaks between classes. He’s all about doing the bare minimum, right? So for a while, our classmates took to calling him ‘Power-Saver Sho’! Ain’t that right, Sho?”

Aizawa’s eyes popped open wide, and before All Might knew it, Aizawa had Present Mic in a sleeper hold.

“Urk!”

“You’re the one who started that nickname…among plenty of other inane ones…”

“Right, like ‘Prince of Slumberland,’ a.k.a. ‘P.O.S.’! Or how about ‘Snooze Master’?”

As Present Mic recounted the insulting nicknames fondly, Aizawa tightened his grip without a moment’s hesitation.

“Not another word.”

“Not too tight now, Aizawa!” blurted All Might.

“This is the only way to get him to stop blabbing.”

“Uncle, uncle! I give!”

But Mic’s cry fell on deaf ears, as Aizawa seemed determined to put his colleague down for a nap of his own. Not wanting to see one pro hero knock out another, All Might was preparing to intervene when the door to the izakaya rattled open.

“Evening, Chief… Oh? All Might? Eraser? Mic?”

“What’s going on over there?”

It was Midnight and Thirteen. Though Midnight was in civilian clothes, Thirteen still wore his usual space suit.

“H-help…” croaked Mic.

“I’m guessing Mic didn’t know when to shut up? He reaps what he sows, I say,” shot back Midnight, clearly used to walking in on such scenes.

“No, no, no! We oughtn’t make trouble in public!” said Thirteen.

Aizawa released his grip as his conscientious colleague’s point struck a chord. Mic explained the whole thing to the two newcomers, who joined the table. Midnight sat to Mic’s right, while Thirteen took a seat next to All Might.

“I’ll have the usual, Chief! And tea for you, Thirteen? Just like always?”

“Yes, thank you… Actually, on second thought, why don’t I indulge today?”

Thirteen ordered a lemon sour, prompting a quizzical look from Midnight.

“You never drink, though.”

“All Might is with us today, making this a special occasion indeed,” said Thirteen, probably beaming under his space helmet. As their little drinking party grew even livelier, All Might started feeling less and less awkward.

“I’m thrilled to get to drink with you all, even if I can’t really drink, so to speak! I have to ask, though—aren’t you uncomfortable in that suit, Thirteen?”

“I’m far more comfortable this way, actually,” replied Thirteen as he removed his helmet and placed it to the side in anticipation of food and drink.

“Got the lemon sour and…tequila, here,” said the proprietor, setting the drinks on the table.

“Your usual is tequila, Midnight?”

Another toast prompted Midnight to take a swig of her drink, impressing All Might.

“You’re clearly a strong drinker, Midnight.”

“Oh? But I’ve only got a taste for the stuff that really sets my gut on fire.”

“That’s U.A.’s biggest boozehound for ya! If only she weren’t such an obnoxious drunk!”

“Obnoxious? How so?” asked All Might, shocked by Mic’s declaration.

“If you don’t shut up, Mic, you’re going to find yourself pickled like one of those tequila worms,” said a glowering Midnight before taking another gulp of her drink.

“Do it. For all our sakes,” muttered Aizawa between sips of beer.

“What kinda friend sells out a friend, friend?” said Mic. “You forgetting who came up with ‘Eraser Head’? Your old pal here gave you that cooler-than-cool hero code name!”

“If that means I owe you some sort of debt, I’ll pick another name.”

“How about P.O.S.?”

“Shut. Up.”

Aizawa went for a standard headlock this time, which had Mic crying “I give, I give!” in no time at all. Midnight didn’t lift a finger to intervene, but she did shake her head as if rejecting an idea.

“No, ‘100 Proof Mic’ would probably just be the wrong sort of party in your mouth.”

“Oh yeah? What would I taste like, d’you think?”

All Might fretted, unsure if it was his place to say anything. At his side, Thirteen finished a sip of his lemon sour and spoke.

“Um, you’re fond of Yakushima cedar trees, aren’t you, All Might? I’m a nature lover myself, and I often watch nature documentaries! In fact, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about those cedars for a while now!”

“You should’ve spoken up sooner! I always welcome a talk with someone who understands what makes those trees so great! Nothing can match their sense of majesty, I say!”

“Agreed! Their incredible vitality borders on the divine.”

“There is something sacred about them, isn’t there? Overwhelming yet inviting…and always leaving me oh so inspired to try harder.”

Thirteen made an unexpected face.

“You clearly feel the same way I do, All Might, and I had a feeling we might find common ground over this. I, too, feel inspired when watching those documentaries… Oh, speaking of, have you had a chance to catch Yakushima Cedars: Life in Perpetuity?”

“Oh, was that one that they aired? I must’ve missed it!”

“Yes, it was incredible! Shall I make a copy for you?”

“Would you? Much appreciated!”

Each man gripped his drink in one hand while the passionate conversation about trees went on, and before he knew it, All Might had already forgotten about the earlier awkwardness between him and Aizawa.

I never imagined I’d find someone so willing to chat about Yakushima cedars… Maybe this outing wasn’t a mistake after all?

The excitement over this shared interest got Thirteen riled, leading him to drain his lemon sour all the faster. By the time All Might realized that his fellow nature lover was acting odd, it was too late.

“Nature’sh jusht, like, sho amazing! We couldn’t even breathe without nature, y’know? Tell me y’get it too, All Might?”

“Th-Thirteen, I think that drink’s gone to your head! Here, have some water…”

“Water! That’sh another one of nature’sh great giftsh! Nope. Won’t drink it. Don’t desherve it. Tell me your thoughtsh about water, All Might.”

Thirteen was tripping over his words at full throttle, leaving All Might feeling cornered and flustered.

“I-I think we ought to treat water like the precious resource it is…?”

“Shure, but how? I want shpecificsh.”

“Um, M-Midnight!”

Midnight responded to All Might’s call for rescue with a bewitching smile.

“Thirteen happens to be a clingy drunk.”

“You could’ve mentioned that earlier!”

“Only didn’t because we were all here having a good time already. Anyway, here, All Might… Wait. You can’t drink. Ah, Eraser—drink this.”

The glass in Midnight’s outstretched hand held a dingy fluid. While All Might had been otherwise occupied, she’d gotten her hands on several more drinks whose empty glasses now littered the table.

“What is that, Midnight?” asked All Might, struggling to peel a very attached Thirteen off of him.

“Just making cocktails out of other cocktails. The ones straight off the menu are so boooring, y’know? Booze is just like life—bound to get dull without spice, adventure, and new experiences. So here, Eraser, I’ve got a new taste sensation just for you.”

“No. I’ve already got a drink,” said Aizawa with a scowl.

“Such a bore. Are you like this in bed, too?”

“Bed? I prefer a sleeping bag.”

“This is Midnight’s drunken Quirk, All Might! She mixes up nasty cocktails and tries to pour ’em down our throats!” explained Present Mic.

“I drink them too, though. Finding out what they taste like is such a thrill! Wouldn’t you agree, Mic?” said Midnight, setting her sights on Mic’s mouth.

“Thanks but no thanks! I make a point of not drinking stuff that looks like dirty dishwater!”

“Enough bellyaching… Just drink.”

“No, wait… Stop!”

With adroit timing, Midnight poured the brownish-gray solution into Mic’s open mouth.

“Well? Describe it. I need to know,” she said, cheeks flushed with a rush of blood and eyes glinting like a bird of prey’s.

“Blech…”

Present Mic slumped down in his seat, and All Might trembled in fear.

A taste capable of shutting up Mic…? Terrifying… How lucky for me that I can’t drink!

“Too stimulating for him, I suppose? Well, for my next creation, how about this…some of this, and… Hey, Chief? Can I borrow some condiments? Whatever you’ve got back there!”

“Never seen anything so irrational…” spat Aizawa between sips of beer, still going strong. Beside him, Mic came back to life.

“Gahh! That gutter water sent me straight to hell and back! My dearly deceased ancestors were coming in for a hug and about to gimme a tour of the place! Yikes!”

“In that case, this next one will have plenty of miso—the heart and soul of Japan and its people—and just the thing to please your ancestors… Heh, I wonder how it’ll taste?” said Midnight. This got Thirteen’s attention.

“Misho? That glorioush, miraculoush fermented gift from the earth! Raishing thoshe plantsh takesh fertile shoil, which you get from the volcanoesh going BOOM and lotsh of rainwater shprinkling the fieldsh… Are you even lishening, Midnight?”

“Coming in loud and clear, Thirteen. Give me a second, and I’ll have this miracle of nature ready for you,” said Midnight.

“Abort mission, Thirteen! The only miracle would be you surviving a close encounter with that drink!” warned Mic.

“How rude. I’ll try it first… Hmm… Intense, somehow nostalgic… Kind of bittersweet. Reminds me of a one-night stand.”

“Whoa! How’d you turn that into a flavor?”

All Might sat back and observed his colleagues letting their hair down—a side of them he’d never seen. Even as they squabbled and schemed, he was glad to see them generally having a good time. Still, he felt uncomfortable being the only one whose drinks weren’t working quite the same magic.

I wonder if my being sober is somehow throwing a wet blanket on this party…

Maybe this group was usually even more animated? The more All Might thought about it, the guiltier he felt. Casting a glance at Midnight menacing the others with her deadly cocktails, All Might whispered to the silent Aizawa.

“I think I’ll head out soon. But you guys have fun, okay?”

As he grabbed his bag and started to get up, All Might felt a hand grab his own. Aizawa released his grip just as quickly and started scratching his head, as if the sheepish hand didn’t know what to do with itself. His listless eyes darted side to side a bit.

“What is it, Aizawa?”

“Why not stay a little longer?”

“Ah, but…”

“I wanted to tell you something today,” muttered Aizawa, dropping his gaze.

“W-what?” asked All Might, steeling himself to get scolded by the teacher again for his deficiencies as an educator. He couldn’t have been more off the mark.

“Thank you.”

“Huh?”

“Because you fought for us all in Kamino…I didn’t lose any students. They’re still around for me to watch out for.”

“Oh. That…” said All Might, feeling warmth well up in his chest. He’d spent his life fighting to keep people smiling, and here was visceral proof that his efforts had meant something.

“That’s why…I’m thanking you.”

I appreciate the sentiment more than you know, but alas…

“Aizawa, that’s a daruma.”

The whole time, Aizawa had been addressing the round, red daruma decorating the alcove just behind All Might.

“Knock it off, All Might. I’m being serious…”

“Me too! I’m telling you, you’re talking to a daruma doll!”

“Whew! Eraser’s good and drunk, looks like!” said Present Mic, who’d noticed Aizawa’s mistake.

“Huh? Aizawa is actually drunk?” asked a shocked All Might.

“Since way earlier, yeah! Those finishing moves he used on me are proof! Also, he’s the type who doesn’t remember a thing about being drunk later on!”

All Might recalled Aizawa’s earlier line about not remembering ever getting drunk.

How long do these parties usually run, I wonder?

Since Aizawa had stopped him, All Might couldn’t very well leave early, and his lack of experience with such functions meant that he wasn’t sure of the proper way to bring them to a close. As All Might pondered his dilemma, Thirteen blurted “Oh, I know!” and started to make a phone call.

“Ah. Cementossh? What do you think about the shplendor of nature? Wanna come chat with me and All Might about it?”

“Huh? Why Cementoss?” said All Might in surprise.

“Ah, another drunken habit of our young friend. He calls up anyone and everyone, hoping for conversation,” explained Midnight.

“Hmm? Where’re we drinking at? Shanzaru, of course. Ahem, Sanzaru.”

Not long after Thirteen made his call, the group was joined by Ectoplasm, Vlad King, Cementoss, and Hound Dog.

“Why did nobody inform me about this get-together earlier?” said Ectoplasm.

“We were just talking about drinking together sometime. This is perfect,” said Vlad King.

“And now the gang’s all here,” said Cementoss.

“Wouldn’t want the kids seeing us here like this… Grr…” growled Hound Dog.

Nine teachers now sat around the table, with Cementoss next to Thirteen, then Vlad King and Hound Dog. Ectoplasm joined Midnight on the other side. Each ordered drinks and food, leading to yet another toast.

Ah, we could be here awhile, now! thought All Might, hiding his frustration with a forced smile.

Hound Dog lapped up a few sips of his sake and spoke.

“Everything in moderation, okay? We’re supposed to be setting examples for the kids.”

And that’s why Hound Dog is fit to be school life supervisor!

All Might nodded vigorously in agreement, feeling reassured that the strict, by-the-books Hound Dog would keep this party from getting out of control. Once again, though, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

“I’ve never felt prouder to be class B’s homeroom teacher!” shouted Vlad King passionately, slamming his fists on the table. He was already on his third whiskey-and-soda highball.

“Didn’t expect any less from the parents of my brave little go-getters, but still… When they agreed to put their children’s safety in my hands, it…it…made my heart leap!”

A deluge of sloppy tears drip-dropped into Vlad’s mug.

“One highball, extra salt?” quipped Midnight.

So Vlad King is a weepy drunk, apparently…

Seeing the grown man cry knocked All Might off-balance a little, but he recovered and said, “The class A parents were good sports about it too, right, Aizawa?”

“Mhm,” said Aizawa with a nod.

“Class A too, huh… A toast to both our classes, Eraser!” said Vlad, still openly crying. On his knees, he shuffled over toward Aizawa with mug in hand, forced his colleague to clink, and drained his salty highball.

“I admit your kids have taken a tiny lead so far…but class B is gonna catch up soon, and then some. Cuz my kids’ve got talent and drive to spare!” said Vlad.

Aizawa bristled. “Yeah. Well. So do mine.”

Vlad froze, and the tears dried up.

“I recognize class A’s superiority, for now. But my kids’ talents make them better suited to open-minded teamwork! Meanwhile, all those standout Quirks in your class make it harder for yours to work together, since they’re each trying to hog the spotlight!”

Aizawa scowled at Vlad’s obvious provocation.

“You act like teamwork is the end-all, be-all. Of course it matters, but first they need to figure out their Quirks and train to use them individually.”

“That’s a vase, Aizawa,” said All Might, who’d been observing the war of words between homeroom teachers. As it happened, Aizawa’s argument had been directed at a decorative vase just next to the daruma he had mistaken for All Might.

“Did you say something, All Might?”

“Yes, but now you’re talking to the daruma again.”

“Fool! Class B’s got the best kids! They’re my precious little scamps!” said an increasingly emotional Vlad. Without waiting for another response from Aizawa, he started weeping again. Next to them, Midnight gulped down another of her mystery cocktails with a smug look of satisfaction.

“Let’s go to karaoke, everyone. We can keep drinking and sing while we’re at it,” suggested Ectoplasm, but the others were too caught up in their own nonsense to hear him. Thirteen suddenly remembered something and draped himself over All Might.

“All Might, let’sh continue our talk about the importansh of water,” he said, still slurring his words.

“Huh? Right! Very important, water! No doubt!”

“Sho how do we really protect thish planet’sh water, then? Gimme your thoughtsh!”

All Might felt pinned between a space suit and a hard place, but a neighbor was ready with aid.

“Knock it off, Thirteen. You’re bothering All Might… I can handle him, All Might. Don’t you worry,” said Cementoss with a warm smile. Thirteen took this as an invitation and sidled up to his bulky colleague.

“What do you think about water, Cementossh?” said Thirteen.

“I think it’s a great gift from Mother Nature herself. How about you, Thirteen?”

“Agreed! A precioush gift from nature!”

All Might was impressed with Cementoss’s skillful pivot, but then he noticed Thirteen’s space suit helmet in Cementoss’s hands. The man was stroking the helmet gently, as if pacifying a small animal. Though Present Mic had been mocking Aizawa’s drunken state, he now noticed All Might’s confusion and explained.

“That’s just how Cementoss gets when he’s drunk! The guy loves round things, I guess. Weird fetish, huh!”

“Care to give something round of mine a good rub?” teased Midnight.

“That’s inappropriate,” said Cementoss, with his characteristic flat smile.

“Would anyone else like to go to karaoke? It would be fun, I’m sure,” said Ectoplasm, but once again he was drowned out by the others’ banter. After a few more failed attempts, he got fed up and stood. That got their attention.

“Enough! I will go to karaoke alone!” said Ectoplasm before falling over backward. Midnight caught him before he could hit the floor and laid his head on her lap.

“Is he okay?” asked All Might in a worried voice.

“Just his bedtime, that’s all,” said Midnight. Indeed, Ectoplasm was out like a light and snoring loudly.

“Nature’s own memory foam pillow! Color me jealous!” yelped Mic.

All Might suddenly felt exhausted.

They’re only getting more and more wasted… Why, Hound Dog is the only one left with his senses about him!

Hoping to confirm his own thoughts, All Might turned toward Hound Dog at the end of the table.

“One bone… Two bones… Three bones… Hee hee.”

At some point, Hound Dog had collected everyone’s bone-shaped chopstick rests, which he now stared at while lapping up sake.

Spoke too soon.

It made perfect sense, since Hound Dog’s Quirk gave him canine features and qualities. Vlad King stopped weeping and bragging about class B long enough to notice the bones, too.

“Collecting bones there, Hound Dog…? Pass your bones this way, gang! We got a dog in need!” said Vlad, still crying. It seemed like anything could set the man off when he had alcohol in him. Once all the chopstick rests were piled in front of Hound Dog, the canine hero’s eyes started getting misty.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, pal… A toast! To your bones!” said Vlad. The two friends clinked to commemorate the moment.

“Youth is a beautiful thing,” said Midnight, stroking the sleeping Ectoplasm’s hair and taking a swig of one of her cocktails. At that moment, Ectoplasm’s eyes popped open. He sprang to his feet, gripped an empty beer bottle like a microphone, and started singing to an unheard melody.

“E-Ectoplasm?” said a stunned All Might. Across the table, Mic took a beer bottle for himself and started emceeing.

“Attention, villains throughout the land… There’s a hero standing up to fight back… Yeah, Ectoplasm’s got a song for this cruel, harsh world… It’s that old, classic hit ‘Heroes’ Bar,’ so don’t touch that dial!”

With Mic’s intro over, Ectoplasm’s refined, dulcet tones started in right on cue.

“Besting villains takes a toll, and heroes need some sustenance…”

“An oldie but goodie!”

“Your costume’s stench may sting the eyes.”

“Sure, cuz who’s got time for laundry?”

“But come as you are, to the heroes’ bar!”

“Bar! Hey, that’s where we are!”

“Serving up smiles, for one and all!”

“You’ve got a great smile too, pal.”

As though in a trance, Ectoplasm went through the song. Mic made his quips between the lyrics. The whole table cheered. Just another staple of drinking parties, it seemed.

How do I get out of here…?

All Might was feeling at a loss when Ectoplasm dove right into a second interminable song. As the party’s single sober participant, he felt like the only one with the power to end it. Unfortunately, he hadn’t a clue how to go about it amid the noise and chaos. He slipped away to the restroom to clear his head, but even that couldn’t snap him out of his funk. On the way back to the table, All Might bumped into Mic in the corridor.

“Heyyy, All Might. You look bushed!”

“Ha ha ha… Just surprised that you guys always manage to party this hard,” said All Might with a weak, forced laugh.

“Always?” said Mic, looking puzzled.

“Huh? It’s not always like this, then?”

“Nah, today’s special. Our usual teetotalers are drinking, and our boozehounds are really knocking them back.”

“What’s special about today…?” It was All Might’s turn to look puzzled.

“It ain’t every day we get a chance to drink with the greatest hero around. You’re the hero the heroes look up to, man,” said Mic with a grin. “Whoops, my bladder’s about to burst! Scuse me!” he added before rushing to the restroom.

From the corridor, All Might surveyed the other seven at the table. The scene had resembled some chaotic layer of hell just a moment ago, but Mic’s words had put things in a new light. The final lyric of “Heroes’ Bar” sprang into his mind.

“‘Serving up smiles,’ was it…? Heh,” said All Might, chuckling to himself.

His nonalcoholic beer didn’t have to spoil the fun. Not when he had his new colleagues’ smiles to keep him going. He found this resolve just in time, because the party suddenly noticed his absence.

“Where’sh All Might gone to?” asked Thirteen.

“He’s right here, you,” said Aizawa.

“Eraser, that’s the daruma again.”

“Huh? Did he just up and go home?”

All Might smiled and called out to the panicking table as he walked back. “Just a trip to the bathroom, that’s all.”

At once, the entire group (minus Aizawa) stood up and crowded around him.

“We shtill haven’t chatted about nature! Oh, I know! Let’sh go shee those Yakushima cedarsh right now and talk about ’em until dawn!” said Thirteen.

“But the planes and trains have already stopped for the night!” protested All Might.

“Why don’t I whip up a cocktail that’ll give you the full Yakushima experience, then?” said Midnight.

“Cedar flavored? No thanks! That’s bound to be one bitter drink!” said All Might.

“All Might, if you need to relax, why not try rubbing this delightfully round helmet? I find it helps me clear my mind. Oh, but then I’ll need something else that’s round for myself… No matter. Lend me those biceps of yours, Vlad?” said Cementoss.

“Now you’re the one being inappropriate, Cementoss.”

“Maybe I can go without that sweet, sweet roundness for a minute…” conceded Cementoss.

“Never mind that. Let’s go to karaoke. They have special discounts at this hour,” said Ectoplasm.

“Ooh! A chance to hear All Might himself belt one out…? I’m getting emotional just thinking about it! Eh, Hound Dog?” said Vlad.

“Ah… Ah… Awooo!”

“That’s Hound Dog’s happy howl, for sure.”

“I’m really not much of a singer…” protested All Might.

“But All Might is over here…” said Aizawa, who hadn’t glommed on to All Might with the others. He reached clumsily for the daruma on the shelf, sending it rolling to the floor.

“Are you hurt, All Might…?”

“For the last time, Aizawa, that’s a daruma!”

Still yammering away, the clingy group of drunks brought All Might back to the table in the tatami corner.

“Why don’t we take it easy, everyone?” said All Might, but there was no reasoning with them anymore. The happy thought of being served up smiles evaporated, and All Might swore to himself that this would be his final drinking party.

Sanzaru was a small izakaya tucked away in a back alley near U.A. High, and its name referenced the three wise monkeys who see, hear, and speak no evil. Despite the noble origins of the imagery, a humbler, more straightforward interpretation was perhaps warranted here—what happens in the izakaya stays in the izakaya. In that sense, heroes and educators alike could spend a night drinking and unwinding without the usual pomp and circumstance. They too were only human, after all.