Chapter 16: Wielding the 1000-Jun Cudgel

By the time Lawrence rushed to Xiahou Yan’s side in a panic, the Lord had already climbed up from the ground, dusted off his behind, and begun his experiment.

Xiahou Yan tentatively reached out to the nearest zombie.

The zombie shot him a terrified look, swiftly turned around, and limped away into the distance.

Deep in thought, Xiahou Yan turned around and took two steps toward another zombie.

Frightened by the Lord, the zombie shuddered and scurried off without looking back.

Xiahou Yan suddenly turned his head to look at a third zombie behind him.

Startled by the Lord’s gaze, the zombie threw its head back, fell flat on its rear, and then scrambled away on all fours.

Xiahou Yan looked down at his own hands, his gaze complex.

The Guard, Lawrence, practically flew down the slope to the Lord’s side. He was just about to speak when a shrill, piercing roar echoed in his ears. Turning his head, the Guard saw a ferocious zombie charging straight at him with its bloody maw wide open, scaring the living daylights out of him.

However, before Lawrence could hurriedly raise his saber to fend off the enemy, Xiahou Yan wordlessly took a half-step sideways, blocking the path between Lawrence and the zombie.

The zombie’s soul was instantly frightened away—though it seemed its soul was already gone anyway. In that critical moment, it swerved, skillfully dodging the Lord. It carved out a perfect drifting arc around the two humans, then continued its sprint without a single pause, eventually vanishing into the vast tide of corpses.

Its getaway speed was in no way inferior to an old gambler on Earth fleeing from his debts.

"L-Lord..." Lawrence’s teeth chattered. It took every ounce of his strength to squeeze out a trembling sentence. "...T-They seem to be very afraid of you?"

"Your observation skills are incredibly sharp," Xiahou Yan said sarcastically.

The Lord had finally figured it out. For some unknown reason, these wild zombies were filled with a mysterious fear of him. The moment he came within a two-meter radius of any zombie, it would give him a wide berth and flee for its life.

In fact, a "zombie-free zone" with a two-meter radius had already formed around Xiahou Yan.

Beyond two meters, the zombies continued to drool and wander in circles as usual, looking rather dim-witted. But if a zombie accidentally strolled within two meters of the Lord, it would instantly panic as if its crotch were on fire. It would then sprint away like a madman, as if the Lord were an unspeakably foul cesspit to be avoided at all costs.

Xiahou Yan felt a bit aggrieved, wondering if he was really so ugly that even zombies despised him.

Then, he turned to appraise Lawrence. Judging from what had just happened, the zombies still retained their normal desire to attack this half-dead Guard. If he hadn’t blocked Lawrence in time just now, that zombie surely would have pounced on him.

This meant that the only person the zombies feared was Xiahou Yan himself.

"Why the hell are these braindead zombies afraid of me?" he wondered, his mind a tangled mess.

For some reason, the image of a burly old man wearing a black robe and a crown, exuding a chilling aura, suddenly surfaced in his mind.

"Could this... also have something to do with Lord Yama?" he wondered.

"L-Lord!" While Xiahou Yan was still questioning his life choices, a hint of realization and excitement suddenly appeared on Lawrence’s face. He grabbed the Lord’s sleeve and said urgently, "Since the zombies are so afraid of you, doesn’t that mean as long as you’re here, you can repel the zombies for the convoy and get everyone out?"

Xiahou Yan slowly shook his head.

"Based on the current situation, it seems the surrounding zombies only panic when they are about two meters away from me. That means even if this bizarre phenomenon persists, I can at most create a safe zone with a two-meter radius. But that small of an area is nowhere near enough to protect the convoy."

"So..." Lawrence looked a bit dejected after his supposedly brilliant idea was flatly rejected by the Lord.

"So our original plan remains unchanged." Xiahou Yan pulled the crowbar from his belt. "We have to catch a zombie and bring it back this time!"

Lawrence’s expression stiffened. Sometimes he truly doubted if the Lord’s obsession with catching a zombie stemmed from some bizarre fetish. If they ever managed to escape the infected zone one day, he definitely needed to take the Lord to see a doctor.

"But Lord, about catching a zombie..." He thought for a moment before lowering his voice to persuade him. "...It doesn’t seem very easy right now."

Xiahou Yan soon understood the underlying meaning of the Guard’s words.

When he approached a zombie with his crowbar in hand, intending to knock it out with a single strike, the zombie erupted with astonishing speed. It darted away into the distance, kicking up a cloud of dust right into the Lord’s face.

His second and third targets similarly displayed incredible athletic talent. The moment the Lord got close, the surrounding zombies would flee at the speed of sprinters. This made the Lord—who had just sprained his ankle tumbling down the slope—sadly realize that he couldn’t even outrun a fucking zombie.

Xiahou Yan was furious enough to explode. Originally, he had been trying every possible way to hide from the zombies, terrified of being bitten. But who could have imagined that the tables would turn, and he would now be seething with anger because he couldn’t catch up to one!

Soon, however, Lawrence quietly poked the Lord and silently made a hand gesture.

Xiahou Yan followed Lawrence’s pointing finger and immediately spotted an old acquaintance.

The zombie that had initially taken the bait by biting the rooster was still in its original spot, ravenously tearing into the unfortunate fowl. It was completely oblivious to its surroundings. For this zombie that had luckily secured some food, "winner winner, chicken dinner" was undoubtedly the top priority of its undead life.

The Lord and the middle-aged Guard exchanged a glance, their minds perfectly in sync.

With a loud roar, Lawrence charged at the zombie, brandishing his saber in a heroic posture reminiscent of a warrior about to behead an invader. The zombie lifted its head from the chicken meat, blankly staring at this rapidly approaching, foolish human. It seemed to be weighing whether the two-legged beast in front of it or the chicken in its hands was more worth eating.

However, before Mr. Zombie could finish its deliberation and reach any conclusion, a cast-iron crowbar, striking with the force of a thousand pounds, viciously smashed into the sparse hair on the back of its head!

The same kind of crowbar had once beaten the roe out of countless Headhunter Crabs at the Black Mountain Research Institute;

The same kind of crowbar had once been concealed within the four-dimensional skirt of a certain Beautiful Evil Goddess;

The same kind of crowbar had once been carried by countless investigators to the scenes of Ancient God investigations;

And now, this crowbar in the hands of Mr. Xiahou finally got to show off its sharp edge in the Otherworld!

This vengeful strike from 4.9 kilograms of cast iron could only bring to mind the Golden Cudgel in the hands of Sun Wukong as he suppressed the Sea Palace, the Evil-Suppressing Divine Spear in the hands of Li Shuwen as he swept across the eight extremes, or the unparalleled might of the twin iron hammers in the hands of Li Yuanba!

The unlucky zombie’s head took the brutal blow, and without any suspense, it went spinning through the air. It then crashed into the ground with a loud thud, flopping faster and more tragically than the most spectacular flop of a novice web novel author!

"How was that?" the Lord asked excitedly, gripping the crowbar, his forehead dripping with sweat.

"Could you be a little gentler..." Lawrence looked sympathetically at the motionless zombie sprawled on the ground. "You swung that crowbar so viciously. If you accidentally killed it, where are we supposed to catch another one?"

The smile on Xiahou Yan’s face froze.