Chapter 31: A Person in Spirit

Chapter 31:
A Person in Spirit

 

AS THE PITCH-DARK SPACE of the tunnel network raced by, something grabbed Super Eva’s hand. Shinji was startled but not afraid. The hand was warm.

<<Shinji! I found you!>>

The voice seemed to come from overhead. Shinji recognized it immediately.

“Asuka?!” he asked.

When Super Eva turned to look over his shoulder, he expected to see the red giant, Crimson A1, the mix of Asuka and Eva-02. So he was surprised when he saw Asuka’s human face. There in the strange corridor was Asuka, outside her Eva, unclothed save for countless red shapes swirling around her, so fast that they were a blur, like a robe of heat and wind.

Shinji didn’t understand what was happening. He began to consider the real possibility that he was hallucinating.

Asuka rushed toward him, though he couldn’t get a sense of where she was in relation to him or how big she was, either. He caught her and felt his arms around her—and her at his chest. Whether that was his own chest or Super Eva’s, he couldn’t tell. It felt like both.

“Trois…I think maybe I’m hallucinating.”

“No, that’s the Second—” Child, Trois was about to say, but she started over. “That’s Asuka. I see her. But physically, I can’t make out where or what she is.”

Right now, she was human-sized, and she happily buried her face in his chest, with her hands on his shoulders.

Wait, this isn’t right. This isn’t like her.

<<You were the one crying, telling me not to go anywhere—but then you left me. You’ve got some explaining to do!>>

Ever since the Q.R. Signum had replaced his heart, the entry plug had felt chilly, no matter how warm he set the LCL. But now he felt warmth spreading through it. Was this happiness? A feeling of security?

Asuka noticed Ayanami Trois sitting behind Shinji.

“Cinq!” Asuka said. But that Ayanami was no longer in this world. “Cinq…you got home ahead of me. I see you melded into Trois. Oh, Cinq, I’m so sorry I left you.”

But rather than correct Asuka, Trois replied, “It’s all right.”

Startled, Shinji turned to Ayanami.

She really was Trois, and yet her gentle expression belonged unmistakably to Cinq.

Cinq’s memory—or was it her consciousness?—spoke through Trois’ lips. “I can only see myself in the connections I have with others. That’s what limits me—but it also gives me a sense of values. I made the right decision, and I feel fulfilled. You mustn’t feel bad for me. And that goes for you, too, Trois. I was able to express who I am.”

Shinji didn’t notice that Trois was crying into the LCL. Cinq’s words had provided salvation from her guilt over Cinq’s birth and death.

Trois was the one who’d come up with the plan to form a mental link with her three clones to create an orbital Angel interception network. Ultimately, Cinq’s death flowed from that decision.

“Trois,” Asuka said, grinning. “You look good in that dress.”

Who was this straightforward, sincere girl? Who was this person who’d found Cinq within Trois and who looked straight into Shinji? Was this who Asuka had kept hidden beneath her pride?

“Whoever picked that out must have had a good eye,” Asuka said.

At least she still knew how to brag. Shinji wanted to believe this was Asuka and not an illusion. She separated from his chest but kept both hands on his shoulders as she mounted the front of the pilot’s seat. The red forms continued swirling around her body like clothing. The skirt—if it could be called that—billowed around her legs.

“Shinji,” she said, “I flew all the way to the moon by myself. I guess I came home with a crowd, but still, don’t you think I’m incredible? Tell me I’m incredible.”

She batted her long eyelashes at him, but it sounded like an order.

Shinji’s expression had been frozen in shock, but now it shifted to one of confusion.

Asuka had come home from the moon—but her data had merged with that of her Eva. He’d thought there was no hope of reconstituting her alone.

Yet here she was, right in front of him. Smiling. Is this really her?

He began to think about everything that had happened to them, and he started to grow emotional. No, I can’t let myself cry now.

He knew she’d make fun of him for it later.

“Yeah, Asuka,” he managed. “You’re incredible. I…I’ve got a lot of respect for—”

She pressed a finger to his lips. “Respect feels too distant. You can keep it.”

Shinji didn’t care anymore why or how she was here. Her presence was enough.

She’d made it to the moon by herself, she’d battled an Angel Carrier in low gravity, she’d discovered the moon’s Ark, and she’d made it home to Earth even after losing her body.

Now she’d reclaimed her self, in body and mind. Astounding.

What could a guy even say to that?

“Asuka, you’re…you’re one crazy son of a—”

“Watch it.”

Probably not that.

Shinji couldn’t believe they were talking like this again—sharing words, sharing apologies…

Asuka suddenly looked into the far distance, as if someone had called her.

She stiffened and then looked toward Shinji.

“Asuka?” Shinji asked.

Her smile had vanished. Her stare was piercing, her voice wary. “It wasn’t you. Then who?”

The flow of LCL in the plug reversed, as if blown by a gust of wind.

“You didn’t bring me here, Shinji! It wasn’t you!”

In an instant, she’d separated from him. Then she was outside Super Eva once more.

“What?” Shinji asked. He felt like he’d been pushed away.

The whirling red wind hid Asuka behind its veil, and the vortex grew wider and bigger until it was as large as an Eva. It flew away through the tunnels.

Then Shinji and Trois heard the sound, coming from the direction Asuka had gone.

THRUM!

They both froze.

“That’s your…” Trois whispered.

Shinji looked at her over his shoulder. “My heart? How?!”