Chapter 50: Leaving for a Dream

Chapter 50:
Leaving for a Dream

 

YOU SURE ARE a piece of work. Kaworu flashed a half-smile. Do you remember what I told you when you got your wings?

“I think it was something like… If a human tries to become more than human, their vessel won’t survive.” Shinji said.

Right. Even before your heart was stolen, you were starting to feel out of sync with your own body, weren’t you?

“Was I?”

When he’d confronted Armaros in the Atlas Mountains, and failed to save Asuka, Super Eva had wailed in despair and erupted in flames. His flame body and his real body had fallen out of step with each other.

Your body was about to break down. But just before that could happen, a certain someone neatly divided you into two parts and allowed you to find a peculiar kind of stability.

“You mean what the Lance of Longinus did? You make it sound like having my heart stolen was a good thing.”

Ultimately, yes. A miscalculation of the black giant. But he’s merely a tool. I doubt he’s capable of regret.

“Your advice… How do I say this? You cut right to the essence of things. It’s hard for an ordinary person like me to figure out what you’re talking abou—hey, what’s so funny?”

Come on, how could you be ordinary? I chose you. Kaworu laughed. When people try to get close to you, you turn them away. That’s how you preserve who you are. That’s your way. Beauty in self-reliance.

“Are you making fun of me?”

At the same time, you also want someone who’ll fawn over you endlessly. I could have done that, but if I had, the world would have closed at that moment.

After his creation, man’s first failure came because he believed the words of the first person made from him—the beautiful imitation, Eve.

“What do you mean, beautiful imitation?”

Failures are repeated. Look at you now. You’ve handed your heart over to a red kitsunebi.

“Who, Asuka? Or are you talking about women, like, in general? I don’t know if you should call Asuka a beautiful imitation. If she heard, it wouldn’t go very well for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she yelled at you all night. Besides, if you look at our chromosomes, it’s men who have an extra one mixed in. That makes us the imitations. At least, that’s what Maya-san told me.”

And you’ve given your body over to a white paper doll. Even as you dream, the embodiment of your power flies through the sky because she is deep within you.

 

“Oh, no…” Shinji mumbled. “I’m supposed to be—”

A little earlier, just as he flew past Hokkaido, Shinji had reestablished a comms signal with Nerv HQ. After that, he’d finally felt able to relax, and at some point, he’d fallen asleep.

While he was unconscious, he must have buried his face in Rei Trois’ lap. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw were the ribbons on the boundary between her black lace underskirt shorts and the porcelain skin of her lower thighs.

“—flying,” he finished.

“We’re flying,” she said.

Trois’ left hand was on the control stick. Her right hand seemed to have been gently stroking the side of his head, but she’d stopped when he awoke. She lightly pressed her palm against his shoulder as if to say he could go back to sleep if he wanted. But he felt far too awkward positioned like this.

“When you’re sleeping,” she explained, “Super Eva reacts a lot more slowly. You’re like a large ship. I can mostly keep you on course, but that’s about it.”

“Oh…”

He was surprised. Not only had Super Eva not fallen from the sky, as he might have expected, but Trois had been able to pilot him.

The Eva’s control sticks—also called image controllers—didn’t actually control anything. Instead, the entry plug transmitted the pilot’s thoughts directly to the Eva as part of the feedback system. But thoughts weren’t perfect.

In the realm of the mind, an indistinct boundary separated concepts like yes and no and stop and go. The levers existed to clarify such boundaries. The mind commanded, and the sticks sent the verification code. The controls also helped the pilot stay aware of their own thoughts.

And now, Trois had piloted Super Eva. Shinji had thought the Eva wasn’t capable of moving while he slept—and before now, he never had. Did that change because Trois has controlled the Q.R. Signum in my chest? What will change next?

 

This time, Kaworu said as his voice faded, the Eve is no imitation. That’s why she’s been prepared. But imitations quickly melt into the real thing…

“What?” Shinji asked.

“I didn’t say anything,” answered a beautiful imitation. At least, according to Kaworu.

Inside the LCL, Rei Trois looked at him with her bright red eyes.