Chapter 5: They Were Going to the Elf Kingdom, or So It Was Told

“I want to go check out the elf kingdom.”

The residents of Renya’s household had been enjoying a nice cup of Frau’s tea in the guest room when he made that announcement out of the blue. Everyone stared at him.

People here commonly drank a type of tea known as dark tea, which produced a black liquid that smelled just as bad as it tasted. Frau, instead, had served them something of much higher quality — black tea. In fact, black tea was considered the very best of teas. It was trailed by the green and yellow teas, which were of medium quality. Renya thought that green tea tasted more than good enough, but it was Frau’s personal policy to use only the best that she could find, so she stubbornly continued to serve them black tea. There was one time when Renya had muttered under his breath something along the lines of “if we had spare cash lying around, I’d rather use it to pay off the loan,” to which Frau simply shrugged before declaring that regular repayments had already begun.

Apparently, Renya Manastone Industries (CEO: Frau) had been on a roll lately thanks to his mana allowing them to constantly produce manastones, the sales of which were providing them with a steady source of income. Buying a property on a loan and then having that property pay its loan back seemed like a rather unusual situation that Renya wasn’t sure if he was okay with. Frau, however, pointed out that since their income relied on resources that ultimately came from Renya’s mana, it could be said that they were his indirect earnings. There was nothing wrong with him working to pay off his own loan.

Back in the guest room, Renya’s abrupt comment almost caused Shion to spew out a mouthful of black tea. She managed to set her cup down on the table and, after confirming that all liquids would remain in their appropriate orifices, stared at him.

“Pretty sudden, huh?”

“I’ll admit it’s sudden, but I mean… Now that we can actually go, don’t you want to take a look? I’ve never seen an elf before.”

“In terms of creatures that are interesting to look at, I would put them pretty close to the bottom of the list…” murmured Rona as she brought her cup to her mouth with both hands.

“Are they really that boring?”

“Yes. First of all, you would be lucky to catch a glimpse of them behind their egos.” Rona lowered her cup and began rattling off descriptions, putting up a finger for each one. “They have pretty faces, but in a weird, unearthly way, and you can’t tell what gender they are. Their body shapes are similarly vague. In other words, the males are small, and the females are flat. Or so I have heard.”

“Whoa, whoa! What do you mean, ‘small’ and ‘flat’?”

“You know exactly what I mean. But, well, I haven’t seen them for myself, so I suppose I can’t say for certain. Their long lifespans give them plenty of time to work with, which might explain why many of them have laid-back personalities. Conversely, they’re also extremely fussy, and if you rub one of them the wrong way, they can hold a grudge for years. Such a pain. Also, they love nature, so they have little interest in arts and crafts, and they build their structures around trees and branches that already exist.”

“Issues of subjectivity aside… you sure know a lot, don’t you?”

“Why, thank you. Flattery will get you everywhere with me, you know?” Rona grinned, much to chagrin of Shion, who fixed her with a glare. The look in her glowering friend’s eyes seemed to say, “Even I know that much.”

“But what made you want to go to the elf kingdom so suddenly?”

“I’m sick and tired of the guild watching over me. They’ve been breathing down my neck ever since that incident.”

After the death of over two dozen parties in a forest near the city, Renya had a creeping feeling that the guild had been keeping a much closer eye on him. He had always known that suspicious figures would wander around the vicinity of his house from time to time, but recently, he felt like he had been spotting them with increasing frequency. Fortunately, none of them had gone so far as to step inside the house. That fact offered him some relief. It was then that, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Frau gazing intently at him.

“What’s the matter?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. But, if everyone goes to the elf kingdom, will Frau be home alone?”

The fairy’s sad expression gave him pause. While she could go outside by bonding herself to him, he had no idea if she could get through the transfer gate.

“I mean, if you can go through the gate, then I’ll take you along,” he said, making a mental note to ask Azu about it later.

“If you’re going, then we’ll go with you. We’re paying for our own usage fees, though, right?” asked Shion.

Renya nodded before adding, “If Frau lets us use the manastones she made, though, I suspect we’ll be able to go for much cheaper. There’s also that discount that Azu promised to get us.”

“That’s true, but… are we just going for sightseeing?” asked Rona with a perplexed frown.

The concept of “travel” as Renya understood it — excursions that cost a significant amount of money per trip — was not commonplace in this world. Nobles or wealthy business owners were the only kinds of people who might do so on occasion. While merchants certainly went from place to place to sell their wares, the vast majority of townsfolk went from womb to grave in the same city. This did not apply to adventurers, of course, but neither were they townsfolk.

“Is there something wrong with sightseeing?”

“Well, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with it, but…”

Rona’s frown lingered, but Renya was determined to see this through. Traveling for work was not traveling, and he had had enough of the former. He was in the mood for some sightseeing. And some hot springs, to be honest. He wondered if the elf kingdom had hot springs.

“All right. Now that’s decided, let me go find Azu. I’ll ask him about how to use the gate and book a trip along the way.”

“Shion and I will start packing then. We’ll start with the weapons.”

“Huh? We are?” asked Shion, her expression profoundly blank. “Why do we need weapons to go sightseeing?”

Two fist-shaped hammers slammed down onto her head. If only they could knock the stupid out of her.

“Each transfer can handle a maximum weight of 150 kilograms. You can send two people together if you want, so long as you’re under the limit. I promised I’d get you a discount on the price, so here it is. Assuming you’re bringing your own manastones, you’ll only be paying the usage fee, which comes to one silver per head. If you’re going to the elf kingdom, they need to be informed of your arrival. Also, the gate destination needs to be adjusted. All in all, it’ll probably take two days. Any questions?”

Upon being asked about the transfer gate, Azu’s response was swift and concise. They were in a teacher’s office, and the mage had his elbows on his desk. His fingers were folded.

Renya grunted. Azu’s answer was certainly right on the dot. Almost… too on the dot. Renya squinted at the mage, trying to figure out how he went about reading people’s minds.

“What?” Azu raised an eyebrow.

“Why’d you assume we’re bringing our own manastones?”

“The one over there…” said Azu as he pointed at the short figure beside Renya. “Frau, was it?”

Renya had brought the fairy with him while Shion and Rona stayed home to do the packing.

“The market has seen a large influx of manastones,” Azu continued, “and they all came from a fairy. It hasn’t caused the price to plummet yet, but even the school is starting to pay attention. Just so you know, people are asking questions. About where all these manastones are coming from.”

“Tch… Nosy bastards.”

“Tha— Huh? Uhh, Frau? Excuse me?”

“Frau said nothing. Also, Frau is a good girl and talks with the merchants about it, so everything is a-okay.”

Renya felt like he’d just heard something terribly unnerving, but a glance at Frau revealed nothing but her beaming smile. Had it been Shion or Rona, their eyes probably would have darted away, but Frau looked at him straight on. This fairy had some nerve. It was actually kind of impressive.

Frau had actually asked Rona and Azu to introduce her to a few merchants, possibly because she wanted to set up some kind of shop in the house using the old storefront space. Those merchants served as an entry point for her, allowing her to move her manastones into market. The details of her operations, however, were a mystery to Renya.

“Frau knows to keep things nice and modest. Too many eyes is a big no-no, so Frau has been selling at a slow trickle to avoid attention… But the school moved a little bit faster than Frau thought…” said the fairy as she ground her teeth.

“What’s the problem? It’s not like you’ve got anything to hide, right?” asked Azu nonchalantly.

“Frau has nothing to hide. But they were too fast in sniffing out Frau as the source.”

“Well, it’s not like the school just sits there and twiddles its thumbs all day. They’ve got ways of gathering information.”

With many children of the nobility under their care, the school was hungry for all relevant information regarding local occurrences, seeking to keep themselves constantly informed. A simple “we didn’t know” would hardly do if anything befell their precious charges. Frau’s operation had apparently brushed against a strand of their high-strung intelligence network.

“Hey, uh, to be honest, I really couldn’t care less about any of that…” said Renya as he hesitantly butted in, feeling distinctly like he was being left out of the conversation. Suddenly, Frau and Azu seemed to be speaking an entirely different language. As terms such as “gathering information” and “intelligence network” got thrown back and forth, Renya felt his eyes beginning to spin.

“How many manastones will we need?”

“It takes about a gold’s worth of manastones to activate it, and each activation can handle two transfers.”

“So, let’s say Frau and I go together… Then Shion and Rona, and the luggage is maybe two more times? Five transfers in total means three activations. Do we have enough manastones for that, Frau?”

The weight limit of 150 kilograms per transfer was barely enough for one adult plus gear. There was no way they could fit in a second adult. Frau, however, was light enough to tag along with Renya, so the two of them could make the leap together. Regardless, they still needed three gold’s worth of manastones, which was about as much as Renya had amassed from the goblins back at the settlers’ village. It seemed a dizzying quantity to produce on short notice, but Frau put his worries to rest with an easy nod.

“It’s a piece of cake. Frau can have them ready right away.”

“Damn. Impressive.”

“All thanks to Master.”

All this time, Renya had been supplying Frau with a near-constant flow of mana. A particularly serious event might interrupt it, but those were few and far between. While Frau compressed the mana for storage, there was always a limit to how much she could hold. This issue was cleared when she gained the ability to crystallize mana, effectively ensuring her mana would never overflow. Nevertheless, Renya’s ever-growing mana pool necessarily resulted in more mana being fed to Frau with each passing day.

“I wonder how much mana I actually have right now.”

The first time he had it properly tested, he was told it was hopelessly small. The second time, Caryl called him a monster. He hadn’t measured it carefully yet, but judging from his ability to cast large-scale spells and keep multiple spells active for extended durations, he figured the pool was getting pretty big.

“Probably enough for that mana-measuring orb to let out a blinding flash before exploding and taking the whole city with it.”

“Ha ha. Of course,” said Renya, playing along with the joke. “No, but seriously…”

He trailed off when he saw Azu’s face.

“Wait… are you being serious?”

“As serious as I can be.” Azu nodded soberly.

Renya gave a hesitant smile.

“You know I’m only human, right?”

“I sure do. Which only makes it harder to explain the massive increase in your mana capacity in such a short time,” replied Azu. “Generally, they don’t grow much to begin with.”

Renya fell silent for a minute, pondering his response.

“What say we go with the fruits of hard work?”

“If hard work could go that far, then how much have I been slacking off?” said Azu mockingly before shifting his tone. “Anyway, none of that matters. You can’t explain talent. It is what it is.”

“Master is just that good,” said Frau with a pleased hmph. Both Renya and Azu wore smiles as they watched the fairy proudly puff out her chest as if she were the one being praised. The former was tinged with embarrassment, while the latter had the gentleness of an amused parent.

“That’s right, Frau. Your master is awesome.”

“Quit that, damn it! What’re you trying to do? Praise me to death?”

“Not at all. I’m just expressing my boundless reverence for Mr. Renya, teacher of the year.”

“Oh, I get it. This is about that, right? Lealis gave you a good talking-to and now you’re getting back at me,” said Renya with a glare.

Azu shrugged it off, putting up his hands up in a “I have not the slightest idea what you’re talking about” manner.

Beyond the transfer gate was supposedly a long tunnel, past which lay the elf kingdom. Frau held Renya’s hand as they walked toward it. When they reached the end, the first thing Frau said was,

“Master, what’s that?”

With a curious look, she turned toward Renya, who found himself at a loss for words. The first answer that came to mind was “somebody ripped off the work of an author from my previous world,” but that hardly seemed like a reasonable response. He mulled over it for a while.

“That… is telling us we’re here.”

He went with the safe answer in the end.

Two days after putting in the request with Azu, Renya and the girls had been told that the gate was ready for use. With their luggage already packed, the four of them simply stuffed everything into his inventory and headed off, arriving at the school practically empty-handed. Upon meeting up with Azu, he showed them to the room with the transfer gate.

As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until very recently that they realized it was possible to use one less transfer by storing the luggage in Renya’s inventory. They were fortunate for it to have occurred to them right in the nick of time; saving one activation of the gate was no small matter.

The room itself proved to be rather boring. On one wall, there was a door just about tall enough for an adult to pass through while standing up. There was little else. A hole was beside the door, and Azu haphazardly tossed a bunch of manastones into it. The door in the wall then opened, revealing the empty space beyond. It was pitch black inside.

“All right. In you go,” said Azu as he pointed a finger at the blackness in a profoundly indifferent manner. Renya stared at him.

“Okay, hold on a damn minute. Is it just me or is that a terrifying door to walk through?”

“What are you scared of? It’s just a hole in the wall.”

“Are you kidding me?! It’s blacker than death in there! Are you sure it’s okay to go in?!”

“If it wasn’t okay to go in there, it wouldn’t work very well as a gate, would it?” said Azu in a patronizing tone.

Regardless, Renya found himself extremely unwilling to step into a murky darkness where he couldn’t see anything. Something about it made him feel a very primal sense of dread. Were this the darkness of night, he could feel things out; there were ways to tell what was going around him, albeit to a limited degree. The darkness beyond the door, though, was different. He couldn’t feel anything past here.

“Master.” Frau pulled on his sleeve. “Frau will go first. Master can hold Frau’s hand and follow behind.”

“You hear that, Renya? Even the little one’s fine with it. Meanwhile, look at you…”

“Maybe the two of us should go first, then?”

Frau had offered to lead the way. Azu’s lips twisted upward into a mocking grin. Even Rona proposed going in first after seeing Renya’s hesitation. The pressure was reaching critical levels. Renya took a deep breath.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go,” he said, taking a step forward.

“Master, Frau goes with Master too,” said the fairy, her voice still slightly concerned. A small hand wrapped itself around his, insisting on braving the darkness with him.

As it turned out, there was no long tunnel. As soon as Renya walked through the gate, the darkness faded away, revealing the wooden walls of a room. They had stepped through a door in the wall. There was a hole to the side for inserting manastones. The room was almost identical to the one they came from, right down to its boring design.

Before them stood the source of Frau’s curiosity.

An elf regarded them, her bright turquoise eyes ending in long slits at the sides. Her golden hair reached down to her waist. Two ears, long and thin, were at either side of her head — an overt reminder of her race. Her delicate features and slender face were undeniably attractive. She wore a leather chest guard atop an undershirt, both grassy green. Her boots were likewise, and only her skirt stood out in black. To a learned observer, it would have been an exemplary display of elven fashion, but the nuances were completely lost on Renya, who simply looked on with the wide-eyed wonder of a clueless tourist.

“Is she the greeting elf?” asked Frau, her hand still clasped in his. Upon hearing the question, the elf bent a little at the waist and lowered her head.

“I belong to the Adventurers School. My name is Croire. I have been assigned to be your guide here.”

“Our guide?”

Renya raised an eyebrow. He didn’t remember asking for a guide. Behind him, Rona appeared out of the gate with Shion following soon after.

“Correct. It would be a problem if humans were allowed to roam around unattended.”

“You’re telling me we have to follow you everywhere?”

“Should you wish to avoid unnecessary trouble, I recommend doing so,” said the elf named Croire, never once attempting to make eye contact. There was a tone of finality in her voice.

Though her mannerisms appeared polite, there was an arrogance to her words that rubbed Renya the wrong way, causing his brows to furrow. The look on Frau’s face suggested some displeasure as well. Shion, having completely failed to grasp the situation, regarded the proceedings blankly.

Rona simply declared war.

“Roam around unattended? Hah. As if this shabby little hut had anywhere for us to roam. And don’t worry about the rest of your city. We won’t gawk — we’ve seen plenty of forests already.”

“…Oh dear. What is that creature? It appears to be blobs of fat on legs. It can even speak our language. How curious. Is it a pet or something?”

It felt like the room’s temperature suddenly dropped below freezing. Renya quickly excused himself from the intersection of their gazes.

“Language? No sane person would call this a language. Whoever came up with it clearly doesn’t know what practicality means.”

“I commend you then, for displaying such proficiency with it. You’re a smart creature, aren’t you? Are you a new species of some sort?”

“Hey, um… Renya?” whispered Shion.

He felt a second hand on him. With Frau clinging onto his sleeve, Shion pulled at his shoulder.

“What? Can’t you see how tense things are? Don’t say anything stupid.”

“Um, well… I can sort of tell too, but what exactly are the two of them saying?”

“Huh? What do you even mean by that? They just said—”

He stopped when he noticed that the fairy clinging onto his sleeve looked perplexed as well. The fact that both of them were confused presented a certain possibility.

“Wait… are those two speaking Elvish?”

“I don’t know if it’s Elvish, but I have no idea what Rona’s saying. Do you, Renya?”

He did. And he also realized that he hadn’t the slightest idea why. After some thought, he concluded that it was probably due to the skills the girl had given him, one of which was “Foreign World Language.” This was, he decided, quite possibly a blessing and a curse all in one. Evidently, he understood the languages of both humans and elves, but he made no mental distinction between them. Moreover, this skill would likely function the same way when he spoke as well. In other words, it was quite possible that every single race in this world could understand what he said. Therefore, a feat such as speaking in a different language to avoid being overheard was physically impossible for him. He rubbed his temples, feeling frustrated by how impractical the skill was.

Meanwhile, the conversation between Rona and Croire grew ever more heated.

“I was informed of a visit by humans, not a creature made of fat blobs.”

“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to be able to tell the difference. After all, you elves are so flat you can barely tell your own genders apart.”

“Oh dear. It seems like the creature has rather poor vision. Or perhaps too small a brain, considering it’s too stupid to know the difference between males and females.”

“Says the race that takes 200 years to reach adulthood. I wouldn’t talk about brain sizes if I were you.”

“Okay, so I’m glad you two get along so well, but…” said Renya as he waded into the verbal battle. Left alone, these two might keep hurling insults at each other until sundown. His next words, however, got stuck in his throat when two pairs of murderous eyes glared at him.

“Ahem. I believe you referred to yourself as Renya? I recognize that you are human, but I’m dismayed to hear your awful suggestion that I get along with this despicable creature of fat. I had heard from Azu that for a human, you’re on the decent side. I ask that you don’t disappoint me.”

“I’m sorry, Renya, but is there something wrong with you? Are you suggesting that I’m friends with this scrawny twig of an elf?”

They went back to glaring at each other.

“Okay, Rona, come here for a minute,” Renya said, grabbing Rona’s shoulder and pulling her away from the staring contest. He turned away from the elf and, ignoring the pointed gaze he felt on his back, asked Rona in a low voice. “So? What’s the deal? How come you’re picking fights right out the door?”

“…Well, as you can see, elves are naturally a slender race,” mumbled Rona. There was a hint of embarrassment to her hushed voice. “Therefore, humans who are… fuller in proportions are seen by them as being too fat. Or at least having too much meat on their bones.”

“So?”

“This isn’t my first time in the elf kingdom. I’ve been here on a short trip for work before…”

According to her, she had been accompanying some Triden dignitary in her role as a knight at the time. Female knights were a rare sight for elves, and when they arrived here, she was forced to endure a long shower of gazes. With the gazes, of course, also came plenty of comments, the most polite of which referred to her as fleshy. The rest were various obscenities appended to the word “fat.” As she was part of a diplomat’s retinue, no one mocked her to her face, but the hushed murmurs — kept just loud enough for her to hear — and private smirks left her with more than a little hate for the elves.

“I guess that’s also why you can speak their language?”

“I’d rather not, but being the egoists they are, the elves refuse to use the common language.”

She then mentioned that the majority of elves honestly believe their language to be the most beautiful and brilliant one in the world.

“Personally,” she continued after making a disgusted face, “I don’t like it. It has multiple words that mean the same thing, and there are far too many modifiers and they’re all too long. I think it’s an extremely impractical language.”

“Okay, sure. Some of that was a bit irrelevant, but I get where you’re coming from.”

Renya patted Rona on the shoulder and instructed her to stand by with Shion. Then, he turned to Croire. At a glance, with her delicate figure and short stature, she would have passed for a middle school student. Her age and experience, however, seemed to exude from her in an aura that no middle school student could ever hope to match.

“My companion caused some trouble. I apologize for that,” Renya said as he lowered his head.

First, the apology. When first impressions were still being made, it was not appropriate to let any antagonism show, regardless of what one thought on the inside.

“I apologize as well. It appears that I let my emotions get the better of me.”

When Renya looked back up, he was surprised to find Croire lowering her head as well. All the talk about elves being arrogant egoists had made him expect a snide remark or two in return.

“You looked surprised. Though, I suppose I can’t fault you.”

“Oh, uh, sorry. It’s just that I’d heard you’re a proud people, so I was caught off guard a little… Is there a reason for it?” he asked curiously.

The elf regarded him intently. After a while, she beckoned him with her hand and led him away from the others. Once they were standing in the corner of the room, she spoke again.

“What I’m about to tell you is a secret. Do you understand?”

“…Sure. I won’t say a word to anyone else.”

Seeing that he nodded, Croire leaned toward him and whispered into his ear.

“The truth is, the elf kingdom has seen a certain trend in recent years. Some elves have been trying to change the ideals of beauty. You could call it a reformation movement of sorts…”

“Hm?”

“They’re proposing that women more endowed in flesh, such as your companion there, embody a form of beauty in their own right. They’ve even suggested that the sexual potency of such women may eclipse those of normal elves, making them superior…”

“Hmmm?”

Renya frowned. The conversation seemed to be heading in a strange direction.

“So, what you’re saying is…”

“…If I’m to be honest, I’d say that this might be what one would call ‘jealousy.’”

Renya looked at Croire. He would have thought the elf was sulking, had it not been for the faint color in her cheeks. His mouth opened, but no words came. He closed it and blinked a few times. All he could do was stare at her.

It was said that elves usually built their cities in forests, and the town Renya’s group found themselves in after stepping out of the transfer gate was no exception. Elves were also referred to as forestfolk, and true to that name, they shared a common desire to live in the woods, preferring the company of trees to rocks or sand. As a result, elven architecture often employed living trees as pillars in their construction. Some structures were such a peculiar sight that Renya simply had no idea how they were even built.

As it turned out, the place where Renya’s group had stepped out of the transfer gate was actually a room in the Adventurers School of the elven city of Gran Kain. Their guide, Croire, happened to be a student of the school.

“Why did they send a student?” he asked as the elf led them out of the room.

First of all, he didn’t think they needed a guide, and even if one was to be arranged, a school would surely assign a teacher. Which school would send one of its students on a job like this? As they walked toward the outside of the school, Croire turned her head back toward them and gave a simple answer.

“Because she’s exceptional, probably?” She went through the motion of proudly puffing out her chest. It was only the motion. One could not, after all, puff out what was not there.

“They must have made a mistake, then, putting such top-level talent on a job like this, don’t you think?”

“The task is to prevent trouble before it occurs. Mediocrity will not suffice.”

Renya had meant for his comment to be a tad slighting, hoping to provoke a response from Croire. Her cool and unaffected response, however, told him that his attempt was unsuccessful. It made him reconsider things. While he had seen his fair share of things — over ninety-four years’ worth with both lifetimes combined — it was possible that the elf before him dwarfed him in sheer number of years lived. If so, it would make Croire the first person he met since coming to this world who was actually older than him.

“Elves live pretty long, right?”

“Disregarding the abrupt change in topic, yes, we do.”

“How old are you? I can’t tell at all just by looking.”

“I will be seventy this year.”

“…Seventy?

He was still the oldest.

Recalling that Rona had mentioned something about elves reaching adulthood at two hundred years old, he gauged their lifespan to be approximately ten times that of humans. Based on Croire’s appearance, he had figured that even if she wasn’t 200, she’d be at least 140 to 150 years old. Seeing that his estimate was wrong, he took another good look at the elf walking in front them, regarding the back of her figure. A thought occurred to him: maybe his ten-times-of-humans idea wasn’t entirely wrong. Maybe she was actually the equivalent of a seven-year-old human.

“Yes?” asked Croire. As though she felt him staring, she turned her head toward him. It was a little concerning how she kept walking forward while looking backward. “There’s no need to worry,” she added. “I won’t bump into a wall. I don’t need to see forward to walk forward.”

“Huh. Neat trick. Color me impressed… Anyway, how old exactly is that? Like, relative to other elves.”

Croire looked at him like he was daft.

“Master is a Wanderer, so Master is a teeny tiny bit clueless about this world,” explained Frau.

Renya looked at the little fairy holding his hand. He had thought that the only ones in his party who could talk elf were Rona and him with his skill. Frau, however, turned out to speak fluent Elvish. That left Shion as the sole member who was in the dark, and her apathetic expression suggested that she had given up entirely on trying to converse with the elf.

As for why Frau could speak Elvish, she said that it was because elves and fairies were similar beings. Apparently, elves might as well have been half-fairies.

“A Wanderer… I see. How… exotic,” said Croire with an expression of genuine surprise.

“Can you not use the word ‘exotic’? I’m not a circus attraction,” replied an irritated Renya.

“I can understand if you’re a Wanderer. Were you a regular human, I would have deemed you an ignorant imbecile.”

Everything she said had thorns. She did not seem to like humans at all.

“Appearance-wise, elves mature at about forty years of age. These forty years are referred to as the growing phase. The next 160 years are referred to as the maturing phase. Only after reaching 200 years of age are elves considered adults.”

“Huh. So, you’re in the middle of the maturing phase.”

“That is correct. The maturing phase is when we accumulate knowledge and experience. In human terms, I would be considered fourteen or fifteen years of age. You may also wish to know that while there is individual variation, our lifespans tend to be about a thousand years.”

“It’s also a well-known fact that elves don’t experience much change in their physical appearance.”

Rona chimed in from behind Renya. At first, he had no idea whether she was speaking Human or Elvish, but he managed to deduce from Croire’s lack of response that it was probably Human. Only later, through repeated experiments and the help of Rona’s proficiency in both languages, would he come to understand the finer nuances of his speech. If he envisioned himself speaking in Human, it was perceived as Human; if Elvish, then Elvish. This phenomenon translated to writing as well, and these newfound discoveries greatly elevated his opinion of the skill’s practicality.

“Once elves fully mature, they look the same until they die. They maintain their youthful appearance for a long time and no elves ever appear elderly, so people have at times suspected them of being immortal,” Rona explained. “In actuality, though, they do age. Elf kids turn into elf adults, and then they grow older and older. They just don’t turn wrinkly.”

“Renya, I don’t know what the blob of fat is saying, but I’d prefer for you humans to not speak secretly amongst yourselves.”

“Why don’t you go and learn Human if you hate being left out so much?” came Rona’s caustic reply.

Croire’s expression darkened a little.

Aha, thought Renya as he noticed the elf’s reaction. Rona must have switched to Elvish just to taunt Croire. He was getting the hang of this.

“On a more immediate note…” said Rona, her eyes narrowing warily. “Why am I getting the distinct sensation that we’re being watched?”

As a matter of fact, Renya felt the same. Ever since Croire had led the four of them out of the room and through the school, numerous people gawked at them from various windows and shadowed spots. The gawkers probably believed they were being subtle about it.

They were not. It was actually rather blatant, and it was equally blatant where, or rather, whom their gazes were focused on. Not a single line of sight made its way to Renya, Frau, or Shion. Clearly, the object of their interest had also noticed. He took a moment to appreciate how sensitive women were to being looked at. It was honestly a very faint sensation — almost imperceivable without careful attention.

“I’m feeling a lot of people staring at me. It must be the elves. I doubt there are even enough humans in the elf kingdom to provide this many eyes…” murmured Rona. “I know what they’re thinking. They’re probably snickering about how fat I look. The fools, not realizing that large breasts are a sign of a loving mother, and large hips are a sign of safe births… Very well. Allow me to re-educate these poor misguided creatures. By force.”

Now, even Renya was gawking at her. Brainwashing elves seemed like a great way to cause some sort of interracial conflict. Before Rona, whose evil laugh sounded a little too convincing, had a chance to make good on her promise, he quickly pointed at the person standing behind her.

“Shion! Stop her!”

“Got it!”

Shion nodded and jumped on Rona just as she pulled out her scary-looking mace.

“Let-me-go!”

As the two girls wrestled, Renya whispered a question to Croire.

“These eyes on us… I assume it’s that reformation movement you mentioned?”

“It pains me to admit, but…” She showed no overt displeasure, but she kept her eyes down as she nodded.

Apparently, Rona had fans. Hiding behind various places of cover scattered throughout the school, elves who had awakened to the appeal of fullness in women were casting furtive but passionate gazes at their newfound idol. For them, seeing a human was probably rare enough; one of Rona’s proportions must have been downright exotic. It wasn’t hard to imagine how they’d want to take a good long look at such a magnificent example of the feminine figure.

Of course, the appreciation only went one way.

“What are the chances they get physical?”

Renya was worried some of the more driven elves might attempt a blitzkrieg of sorts.

“I won’t say none… but in that case, you won’t be faulted for any action you take in response,” answered Croire in a cool, detached manner. The implication was, then, if push came to shove, he could get away with manslaughter.

“In fact, I’d appreciate it if you killed a few. Kill them all if you want. The other elves might thank you for it.”

“I guess the curve-loving elves are a minority?”

“For now… but unfortunately, their numbers are growing rapidly,” said the elf through gritted teeth.

Renya shrugged.

“You really mean it?” he asked before glancing at the still-struggling Rona. “Because I’m just going to sic her on them if you do.”

Croire followed his gaze.

“I certainly don’t mind…” she said before turning back to him, “but is she quite strong? Strong enough to fight against elves in the forest?”

“Who knows? I’ve never fought elves before, so it’s not like I can tell.”

“Should her strength prove lacking, with proportions like those… Well, just be aware that incapacitation and abduction are both well within the realm of possibility.”

“Uh, you know, I’d imagined elves to be fairly mellow people, what with the whole nigh-immortal thing and all… but I’m getting some pretty predatory vibes from what you said,” said Renya as he reconsidered his plan to set Rona loose on them. He’d rather not come back to find a bunch of radical elves in possession of a Rona-shaped sex toy. He suspected that they wouldn’t either, because they’d then discover that their kingdom, along with their entire forest, had been burnt to the ground. That last part, he didn’t say out loud.

“I ask that you see it as a wave of changing opinions that’s spreading through the elven population with the young elves at the center of it all,” said Croire in a flat, emotionless voice. Something about it seemed insincere.

“Sure. I get the official stance. Now let’s hear how you see it.”

“It pains me to admit that elves are increasingly being infected by a virulent strain of human thought, characteristic in its origin from the groin rather than the head.”

“Okay, being human, I feel like I do need to mention that we’re not all like that. I mean, I admit a lot of us are, but…”

“Of course, as a race, so long as we’re making children…” Croire sighed before spitting, “It matters little to us whether it’s with humans or elves.”

“Won’t that just make the kids mixed?”

“Mixed?”

Renya and Croire stared at each other, neither understanding what the other was asking. Enter Frau, professional explainer.

“Master, when humans and elves make babies, they’re always the same race as daddy. That’s why if an elf takes Miss Rona away and they love each other very much, all their babies will be elves.”

The euphemism did not make her example any less disturbing.

“In that case, what if Croire and I had a baby?”

“You’ll have a nice little human baby.”

“What in the world are you talking about?!” exclaimed a red-faced Croire.

“It’s just an example. Geez. I don’t mean it for real.”

“You most certainly don’t. As if I’d ever… with a human…” muttered the flustered elf, the rest of her grumbling growing more and more indistinct.

Renya shook his head and smiled wryly. Someone’s head was definitely in the gutter. Croire, however, seemed to have taken his smile to mean something else and poutingly turned away. She kept her face forward as she walked.

As Renya rushed to catch up with the sullen elf, he heard another bout of angry growls and labored breaths from behind. The struggle between the two girls yet continued.

Maybe I shouldn’t have brought them along.