site 34: Kiryu Kusakabe

You know what the world of the dead is like? There are lots of wanna-be psychics and high-and-mighty philosophers who’ll tell you all sorts of crap about it, but they’re all full of shit. Everything you’ve seen about the spirit world in movies, in manga, in books? It’s all so totally wrong, it’s laughable. Barely any living humans know what it’s like after you die.

But — and this is important — there are a few people out there who do. I’m one of them, actually. Why do I know what it’s like, you ask? I don’t even have to explain. The reason is ’cause, again and again, I’ve died.

The first day I died, it was way too goddamn hot, and the cicadas were annoying as hell. When it happened, this fake version of me showed up out of nowhere. For a second, I thought I had split in two, but I quickly realized I was wrong. The other me was still asleep, and he wasn’t getting up.

That’s when I realized... The other me wasn’t my double. I was dead.

Well, it wasn’t that complicated to figure out. What had happened was obvious enough that even a shithead like me could get it. Honestly, the fact that I’d thought I’d split in two, even for a second, just goes to show that I’ve got the brains of a monkey.

I’d committed suicide. As a result, my spirit had left my body, I guess. I’d thought I’d died, but all I’d done was separate my body and soul. I was able to quickly get back into my body. Ironically, it was after I died that I started to really think about my life a little.

After that, by the way, I died a bunch more times, and each time I was able to go back to my body. After trying it a bunch of times, I finally realized how fucking crazy this power is. People say that if you’re willing to die, you can do anything, and man, have they got that right.

One time, I was outside my body having fun, and I stayed out a bit longer than I’d intended. I was away from it for like two weeks. And even then, I didn’t have any problems.

It does put a lot of stress on my body, though, so I can’t do it that often. If you do it too much, the next day your joints hurt so much you can’t get out of bed. You’d think your bones had all fused together. If I did it for too long, I might die for real. Never tried that, though.

Oh, and there’s one more thing. I don’t quite get how this works, but time flows differently when you’re a ghost and when you’re in the real world.

It’s strange, but what feels like a long time as a ghost isn’t that much time at all in the real world. I’ve come up with this theory that when I’m a ghost, I’m seeing the future at an incredible speed. And when I get back to my body, barely any time’s passed at all. You might not believe it, but I mean, we’re talking about ghosts to begin with. Who knows how any of this shit works?

So anyway, here’s where it gets interesting. A few years ago, I was near Musashi-Seki on the Seibu Shinjuku Line, doing one of my “wandering experiments.” It was pretty late, and all the houses around me had their lights off.

Then I ran into this girl. It was cold as shit, but she didn’t have a coat on, or any shoes, and she was just kind of staggering down the road. I got curious and followed her, and I see this dumb bitch is about to duck under a guard rail and fling herself in front of a fucking train. The train’s coming down the tracks, and the conductor’s blaring the warning siren as loud as he possibly can.

I don’t have the slightest idea why, but even with all this noise I can hear exactly what she’s saying. I can hear her even though she’s got her mouth closed. It was probably the voice of her heart, I think.

Anyway, so I can hear her. It’s the one time I ever really felt like a ghost.

I didn’t know the details, but the girl’s about to kill herself. She keeps telling herself that if she dies, she’ll be happy.

I may be a ghost, but even I don’t much feel like seeing a girl get ground to mincemeat by a goddamn train. So I try calling out to her with my mind. It’s the first time since I became a ghost that I’ve tried this.

And then...

This girl hears me, even though I ain’t even really there, and do you know what she calls me? She calls me a devil! Man, I was laughing my ass off! And the bitch of the thing is this: she calls me a devil, but instead of being afraid, she likes me! Talk about a crazy-ass suicidal bitch! But eh, I ended up kind of liking being called a devil.

That’s when my relationship with the girl began. It was a pain in the ass to keep up a conversation with this crazy chick all the time, but one day she comes to me and say she wants to open a “Black Magic Agency.” And then I get an idea.

—There’s money here, I think.

I mean, this girl’s got a real devil on her side. Y’know, me.

The chick’s a bit of a drama queen, actually. A drama queen with a vivid imagination. Sometimes I wonder if she ain’t hypnotizing herself somehow. She never doubts me.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been able to stay her partner for almost two years. But lately, things have been getting a little strange around me. My bad feeling started around the time this guy Hashigami’s hair showed up in the House of Crimson’s mailbox. The girl was starting to freak out, and that was a pain in the ass for me.

At this rate, she might break the deal, and then I’d lose my golden goose. So what to do?

First, I’d start by finding out who these people were who were trying to find out about her. Of course, I’d have her help me.

And so I go to her shop, and for the first time, she starts saying some weird stuff.

“I can hear your voice more clearly than usual this morning, I think.”

“No shit, huh? Interesting.” I almost bust out laughing. “Yeah, I bet you can. Heh.”

But I didn’t give a crap.