Chapter 17: Dialogue with my Childhood Friend

「...Haa.」

Honoka let out what must have been her umpteenth sigh in her room.

The cause was, needless to say, her childhood friend Kanato. Since being pushed away by him a few days ago, Honoka hasn't been able to resolve the murkiness in her chest.

Even when she tries to talk to Kanato, Shigure is by his side. Even when she tries to talk to him in the classroom, he coldly pushes her away. Because this is a result she brought upon herself, Honoka can't forgive herself.

(I want to have a proper conversation somewhere... somewhere he can't avoid me and will talk honestly...)

「Ah!」

Honoka exclaims as if struck by an idea and hurriedly leaves her room. She hesitates a bit at the entrance, but her course of action doesn't change.

Kanato's room is on the floor below this one. She can reach it just by going down the stairs.

▼▽

I was frozen in front of the monitor.

What is displayed on the screen is unmistakably Honoka.

Since she lives on the floor above in the same apartment building, it isn't unusual for her to come to my place, but I couldn't understand why she'd come at this moment.

For what purpose?

Did my mother say something to her?

Or is she here to hold a grudge against me?

「Oh my, isn't that Honoka-chan.」

While I'm organizing my jumbled thoughts, my mother, who has finished washing dishes, comes over. Without paying any attention to my hesitation, she pressed the call button with her index finger.

「Honoka-chan, it's been a while~ What's wrong? An errand from Manaka-san?」

「Ah, no. Um, is Kanato-kun there...?」

「He just happens to be free right now. I'll call him~」

Saying that, my mother ended the call. I couldn't blame my mother, who doesn't know about the situation between Honoka and me, but I held my head.

「Oh my? What's wrong? Go quickly.」

「...Kaa-san, I'd like some time to prepare.」

Pushed by my mother's back, I head to the entrance.

What kind of face should I meet her with? Actually, what should I talk about? We're in an awkward situation after all...

While I was thinking, I reached the front door and took a deep breath. There's no turning back now that I've come this far. I steeled myself and put my hand on the doorknob.

「Ah, h-hello...」

「...Well, come in.」

▼▽

I bring Honoka to my room and sit facing her across a small table.

Looking at Honoka fidgeting somewhat, it seemed she hadn't come without purpose.

「Want tea? Or would you prefer coffee?」

「Ah, t-tea please... Kanato's room has changed quite a bit.」

Honoka looked around my room and said.

Come to think of it, the last time Honoka came to my room was when we were in first year of middle school. She hasn't even come to this house since then, let alone my room.

Now that we're second-year high school students, my hobbies have changed from back then. Naturally, the things I have would change too.

Even though we're childhood friends, having someone of the opposite sex stare intently at my room felt somehow ticklish.

「It's been a while since you came... A lot has changed.」

「We're already second-year high school students...」

Deep silence flowed from there.

Looking at Honoka hanging her head, I realize there's conflict happening within her.

Just as I was thinking of asking a question to make it easier for her to speak, Honoka broke the silence.

「Hey, the things you said, is it because of me...?」

The "things" probably refer to our morning exchange. Even though she doesn't know my situation, Honoka probably realized I have my circumstances.

To that simple question, I answer without evasion.

「It's for Shigure.」

Having come this far, I can't lie to Honoka. I have decided to tell her without hiding anything.

Honoka caught her breath at my words. Then she sighed deeply as if to say "I knew it".

「She's your girlfriend, after all... I'm sorry for badmouthing her. It was my fault.」

「...She's not my girlfriend.」

「...Eh?」

Honoka looked up. I looked straight into her eyes and said.

「She's not really my girlfriend. Some relationship trouble came up, and I'm just helping her with it. So we're not really dating.」

「Is that so...?」

「Do you think I'd lie about that?」

When I said that, Honoka's expression brightened.

「T-Then, can we go to school together in the mornings like before...」

「No, we can't.」

The sound of ice collapsing in a glass rang out.

I maintain my composure and continue calmly.

「...Sooner or later, I thought I'd have to separate from you. Just because we're childhood friends doesn't mean we should always be together, it wouldn't be good for either of us.」

「B-But if you're not dating, then there's no reason we can't walk to school together...」

「Unfortunately, she's dealing with a particular person. There's no telling when trouble might arise. …Besides.」

I took a breath and said.

「I want to protect Shigure. By her side.」

I don't think the old me would have said such a thing. My principle was to quickly escape from troublesome things.

But now it's different. I want to protect the existence called Shigure Ren. I want to keep hold of her who seems like she'd fly away somewhere at any moment. For that, I'm prepared to make some sacrifices.

I'm not a hero or anything. It might end in a miserable result. Even so, I found myself wanting to protect Shigure.

「...Sorry.」

Honoka hung her head powerlessly after hearing my words.

「...I see. I'm the one who should apologize... How selfish of me. After saying those awful things...」

Honoka stands up smoothly and heads toward the door.

「Honoka?」

「...I'm going home. Sorry for coming suddenly...」

Honoka left those words and went out of the room.

From beyond the closed door, I can hear Honoka's small footsteps. I could only listen to them in silence.