9

THE PROPOSAL

And so the zombie uprising of Shiwanashi Forest saw its conclusion.

Every now and again, stray zombies would crop up here and there, but there would be no more large outbreaks, the people surmised.

Also, there were far fewer casualties among the elf army than had been initially feared.

They were elite soldiers, yes, so that contributed. But what really helped was the fact that Zell had gone around healing them all while Bash was wiping out the zombie horde.

While they had all been close to death, fatally wounded by zombies and slowly bleeding out, an orc appeared all of a sudden, saving their lives.

What’s more, the same orc had broken through the ranks of the zombie horde to reach the lich and come to Thunder Sonia’s aid.

The elf army was filled with talk of the heroic orc and his deeds.

Some debated over which events had actually transpired and which were mere rumors. Many found it hard to believe that Thunder Sonia would ever have had trouble felling a single lich. But then when Sonia came out and confirmed it herself, everyone had to accept it.

“We must express our gratitude to the Orc Hero. But how? Shall we write a formal letter of thanks to the orc nation?”

“Hmm…”

Thunder Sonia crossed her arms, thinking over Aconitum’s suggestion.

She was grateful, of course.

Aconitum’s cheeks were flushed pink with good health. He’d been right as rain ever since Bash’s fairy companion, Zell, healed him along with the others.

After the fight, Sonia had dashed back to her poor fallen grandnephew, hoping to at least retrieve the body for a decent burial. But she had found him sitting up, a pile of shining white fairy dust on top of his head.

She couldn’t help but notice the look of disgust on said fairy’s face as the tiny creature hovered nearby, muttering “So gross…” under their breath.

“Hmm…”

Bash and his companion had saved her precious Aconitum, her darling Tum-Tum, from certain death.

And they had also come to the aid of Thunder Sonia herself, in her hour of darkest need.

So yes, of course she was grateful.

Buuut…

“Okay, but what I still want to know is: Why did he come to this town in the first place?”

“Why?”

“Yeah.”

Sonia nodded emphatically. For a moment, Aconitum paused. His eyes rolled up to the ceiling as if he was thinking, Strength! Give me the strength to deal with this senile old granny!

“Wipe that look off your face! How dare you mock your elders?”

“But… So… You really don’t know?”

“Are you saying you do?”

“Of course I do.”

Thunder Sonia mashed her lips together and jerked her chin at Aconitum as if to say, Spit it out, then!

“He came to stop the zombie orc uprising in the Shiwanashi Forest, of course.”

“Okay…but why?”

“Well, think of it this way. His own people were causing trouble in what’s now effectively a foreign country. The orcs are a prideful people, and they tend to take responsibility as a group when one of them does something bad. The orc was here trying to protect the image of the orcs.”

“Huh?!”

“I mean, think about it. His actions. They all make sense. He comes to town and starts off by gathering information. Then the next day he’s out there slaying zombies. He keeps it up, gathering zombie heads, then at some point he finds out General Baraben is back and zombified. I was kinda out of it at that point, but I definitely remember the orc confronting Baraben and dueling him one-on-one, in a fair fight. I mean, what better way to show everyone the true pride of the orcs than by sending an Orc Hero to dispose of their own country’s trash, right?”

“Hmm, I suppose.”

Thunder Sonia nodded.

The orc’s actions certainly tracked with Aconitum’s theory.

And that was the conclusion Sonia had pretty much come to during the battle, as well.

It sure seemed like Bash had traveled here to save the general he once admired from the fate of undeath. To grant him eternal peace.

But Sonia was still filled with a nagging sense of doubt.

Something was plaguing her.

If she were the Orc King, she would never have sent Bash to take on an entire zombie horde, plus zombified general and mage, as a solo operation.

Ah, he had the fairy with him as well. All right, so there were two of them.

Still, wasn’t it standard to at least send a few troops along to provide backup?

If she had been the one to go out alone… Ah, but wait. No. She never did. She always had Aconitum with her.

What was it that was bothering her anyway? Thunder Sonia couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Apparently, a similar thing happened in the human country. Bunch of bandits got wiped out.”

“Huh? Nobody told me about that.”

“I just heard it as a passing rumor.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?! Something like that is major news, and… Wait! I know what’s been bugging me now!”

It had come to Thunder Sonia all of a sudden.

The day Bash came to town. When they ran into each other at night on the street.

“Answer me this, then, why did the orc deliver that whole I’ll be back to see you again speech to me? That was so weird! How did he know I’d end up fighting General Baraben?”

“I’m not sure…”

“And then remember how he said ‘Heh’ to me? ‘Heh!!!’ Unbelievable! Remember? ‘Heh, you’ll find out, soon enough’—that’s what he said! When is ‘soon enough’ supposed to be? Wait, what if he was the one who stirred up all the trouble in the first place, just so he could swoop in and look like the hero later?! Although, I doubt it; I didn’t sense any magical ability in him at all, let alone the amount needed to conjure up a lich…”

“Hmm…”

Aconitum was looking doubtful now, too.

It was true. Bash’s actions that night on the street were very odd indeed.

It definitely seemed fishy, as if the orc was plotting something in secret.

But from the way he had handled General Baraben with such respect, it was hard to believe he was the true mastermind behind it all.

In fact, Bash had acted like…well, a hero.

“Lady Thunder Sonia?”

There was a knock at the door just then.

“Yes? What is it?”

“You have, um, a visitor downstairs.”

“Gah, who could that be? Cally? Tell him I’m taking the day off. I’m tired from all the work I did yesterday. Even Thunder Sonia needs to recharge! Tell him to finish the rest of the cleanup on his own…”

“Ah, no, it’s not General Calendula. It’s…the orc.”

Thunder Sonia and Aconitum turned to look at each other, eyebrows raised as far as they would go.

The great tree where Thunder Sonia lived was home to the elite.

Naturally, it had a lobby on the ground floor with a twenty-four-hour concierge service—and guards.

When Sonia arrived in the lobby, she found all the guards surrounding a single figure in the center.

There was also a considerable throng of spectators in attendance.

The guards didn’t seem tense, though. In fact, they were smiling in a welcoming way as they gazed at the guest.

All eyes were on this one man, standing in the center of the crowd.

He had green skin and a swarthy face. His chiseled body had been stuffed into an elven outfit, for some reason.

It was unmistakably an elf-made suit.

It was the kind of thing an elf male would wear to a ball or formal event. It was dark green with black piping.

It was far too short around the wrists and ankles, but the overall effect was quite dapper.

Perhaps he’d left his greatsword behind. Sonia couldn’t see it anywhere.

Beside the orc’s ear floated his fairy companion, arms crossed, legs spread shoulder-width apart in a haughty, prideful, midair stance.

It was Bash and Zell who had come to see Sonia.

Why’s he wearing those fancy duds? What does he want?

Frowning warily, Thunder Sonia made her way over to Bash.

The crowd all began to murmur with excitement.

Maybe he wants to discuss a loosening of the rules of the treaty we signed after the war? What a fool! Choosing this opportunity to renegotiate the treaty just proves that he set up this whole thing to get something out of it! I had no idea orcs were capable of such sophisticated subterfuge, though. Ugh, but I guess I should give him some kind of pass for the great deeds he committed during the zombie battle. After all, it helped out the elf nation as well. Dammit!

Thunder Sonia put her hands on her hips and glared up at Bash.

The orc’s expression was stern and grim, with just a hint of nervousness.

“Well? What’s your business with me? And are you sure you want to speak right here?”

“Yes, here’s as good as anyplace else.”

“Then, spit it out. I’m a busy woman, you know!”

“Hmm…”

That’s when Thunder Sonia actually took a good look at Bash himself.

She hadn’t actually gotten a good look at him since the whole Nightmare of the Shiwanashi Forest incident. Not up close anyway.

The Orc Hero Bash…

At the very least, he hadn’t caused any trouble to speak of since he came to Shiwanashi.

And despite the town being filled with lady elves, there had been zero reports of any attacks on women.

Truth be told, he’d been nothing but helpful to the elves ever since he arrived.

He was magnificent in the zombie battle, too. Certainly, he had earned his rank of Hero.

Right… This man’s a true hero.

Titled as such by the people of his nation.

In fact, they seem to revere him as much as my people revere me, the great elf mage, Thunder Sonia.

Which means he’s shouldering the expectations of the orc race. So all his actions have to be oriented toward guiding them to a more prosperous future, right?

So it’s obvious that what he wants is to renegotiate better terms for the orcs.

The terms of the treaty had been particularly harsh on the orcs, and as such, they were lagging behind the other nations when it came to rebuilding and forging a better future.

“Elf Archmage, Thunder Sonia.”

“Hmm?”

Bash withdrew something from his breast pocket.

The object glinted gold in the light. The guards took a step forward in alarm, but Thunder Sonia was as still as a stone statue.

What use did a strong man like this have for a pocket-size weapon? Even without his greatsword or shortsword, he could do just as much damage with his meaty fists, couldn’t he?

“Here.”

The orc offered Sonia the object. It was…a necklace.

A shining, gold, expensive-looking necklace.

Just like the ones elf men offered to their sweethearts when proposing marriage.

“Huh? What in the world?”

“I’ve been smitten with you ever since I first laid eyes on you. I want you to marry me and bear my children.”

There was a pause.

A moment of complete silence all around.

Thunder Sonia blinked, unable to process what the orc had just said.

Um…what did he say? What does “marry” mean again? Why is he trying to hand me a necklace? What’s going on?

The cogs and gears clicked and turned in Thunder Sonia’s head, until finally things made sense.

What the—?! Did he seriously just propose to me?!

The gears started whirring and turning faster.

Why marriage, though? Calm down, Sonia; think about this rationally! There must be some explanation! Think! Right, right… He did say he’d be back to see me again. So this was his goal all along. To propose…to me! How ridiculous! Why?! Why marriage?! Why me?!?! From the first time he laid eyes on me? That’s too much! I won’t fall for that! He left me lying on the ground untouched like spoiled food! When he had me right where he wanted me!

Thunder Sonia was often guilty of losing her cool, but she was not an unintelligent elf.

In fact, all her centuries spent thinking about what was best for elfkind had made her cautious. She was always trying to think two steps ahead.

She had only met this orc once before.

There was absolutely no reason for him to be interested in her this way.

If it was true, and he really had fallen for her at first sight, then why had he not taken her during the Nightmare of the Shiwanashi Forest incident? Why had he not done what orcs were known to do with their conquests? If he had only done that, she’d probably be a mother of three fat little orc pups by now.

So what he was saying right now was a lie. It had to be.

What was the truth, then?

Hmm, but wait. She heard he was gathering information in town.

Mostly, from the still-single elf ladies, the ones who were desperately looking for foreign hubbies.

Perhaps he had heard about Sonia’s…predicament…from them?

About how she was desperate to find herself a man as well—and had struck out countless times when trying to ensnare a human male and trap him in her web? Goodness, what if he knew about all of it? She couldn’t take the shame!

(He probably thinks I’m desperate! An easy lay!!!)

The blood rushed to Thunder Sonia’s head then as her anger bubbled over.

“The answer is no!!! Who’d want to have your babies?!”

The crowd all gasped.

Then they began whispering and nudging each other.

What? Stop it. I’m right here. Enough with gossip already!

Thunder Sonia was extremely annoyed, but she kept her sharp gaze focused on Bash.

Glaring at him as hard as she could, she tried to project an aura of apathy, so she wouldn’t look like a loose woman, or an easy lay, as he clearly thought she was.

Bash, however, was pouting slightly.

“I see. That’s too bad.”

Then, putting the gold necklace away inside his breast pocket, he turned on his heel and walked out.

Without even looking back.

His exit was so sudden that Thunder Sonia had to fight a wild, random urge to call him back.

The orc’s shoulders were slumped, and he looked…sad.

“What the hell was that about…?”

Thunder Sonia was muttering to herself.

The orc’s true motivations were a complete mystery to her.

Bash was heading back to the inn with heavy footsteps.

“Aw, Boss. You know, I really thought you picked the perfect opportunity and all. You helped the lady out when she was in dire straits, then when she was still swooning, you showed up looking all dashing. You know, in the texts the elves print, that strategy was ranked number three in the ‘Top Ways to Win Her Heart’ article…”

“Thunder Sonia is an elf archmage. She has her status in society to consider.”

During the course of the zombie battle, Bash had started to remember who Sonia was.

She was the elf mage who had inflicted such heavy wounds on him after General Baraben fell during the battle of the Shiwanashi Forest.

At the time, though, he didn’t see her face, and he didn’t even know her name.

Thunder Sonia had worn a mask during their battle.

Bash wasn’t sure why, but actually, it was a special mask designed to heighten and focus her magical abilities.

She had also been strung all over with heavy, clunky, enchanted elf protective gear and reinforced armor pieces that concealed her figure when she fought Bash. What’s more, neither of them ever introduced themselves at any point either before or during their bout.

Bash had heard of a great elf mage, of course, but he had never heard the name Thunder Sonia.

In truth, he had never seen her face nor heard her name until he came to Elf Town.

In a way, he was not lying when he said he fell for her at first sight.

Their battle had left a deep impact on Bash as well. He had been wounded badly in battle many times before, but by the time the war drew to a close, Bash was so skilled that it had become a rare, outlier event.

So he was somewhat shocked to find himself so grievously injured right as the war ended around him.

He had been dazed and could not remember how the last stand of the orcs had been lost in the end nor how he had managed to escape from the elf army that had closed ranks around him.

All he remembered was crawling into a bear hole and being discovered by Zell some time later.

The elf archmage.

Bash had heard of this person.

She was a high elf who had been alive since ancient times. She was said to be 1,200 years old.

Tales told of a blessed child who was born with power gifted to her by the god of thunder. Should this guardian goddess of the elves ever lose her virginity, it would completely nullify her powers.

With her virginity being the source of her magical gifts, she could never be wed.

So Bash had already pretty much predicted how his proposal would go down.

But to hear the rejection from her own lips… It had been a heavy blow to take.

“I saw the whole thing!”

All of a sudden, Bash realized someone was calling out to him.

He turned to see a female elf standing there. Arm in arm with a human man, the lucky dog!

The woman had the look of a high-class warrior, and Bash immediately recognized her.

It was the female elf who had given Bash the tip about the Great Eagle’s Perch.

“Ah, I know you…”

“You proposed to Lady Sonia! Good for you! I didn’t know the orcs had it in ’em!”

“Uh, yeah…”

It was Azalea, of course. Bash still did not know her name. For some reason, she seemed very excited.

“Too bad she turned you down, though! I know you’re an Orc Hero and all, but really, Lady Sonia is just way out of your league.”

“So it seems. But there are still plenty of other female elves about.”

“Wait… What did you just say?”

Azalea’s expression darkened.

Bash tensed up by reflex, curling his hands into fists. But the next moment, Azalea’s expression cleared again, and she snorted with laughter.

“I get it… You really are an orc, aren’t ya?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Well, I don’t know about your people, but here in elf country, we hate men who chase after anything in a skirt! You’ll find that out the hard way if you try to offer the necklace to any other elf woman right after proposing to Lady Sonia, of all people!”

“So you’re saying that my chances of taking another elf to be my wife are…low?”

“The lowest!”

“Hmm.”

Bash growled, annoyed.

Had he known the shiny gold necklace was a one-time-use item, he might have rethought his purchase.

Still, it was just like war, wasn’t it? If you missed your chance, then that was it.

You could only know the real repercussions once the opportunity was already gone.

“Then there is nothing to be done but to move on.”

“Aw, don’t look so sad. You’re a fine fellow! I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“I hope so.”

Bash couldn’t help feeling sad, though.

He tried his luck with Sonia, knowing his chances of success were slim. But he hadn’t realized that doing so would ruin his chances with all other elf women.

Bash was levelheaded and stoic, to be sure. But he had feelings, too.

“Well, I gotta get going now. I’m having a nice dinner with my hubby to celebrate a successful battle!”

“Um…excuse us…”

Azalea began marching off, dragging her husband by the arm. The man had a weak sort of face and tottered along meekly behind his wife.

So this was her “hubby,” was it?

He looked to be the weakest specimen among all the human males that Bash had ever seen. He didn’t look like he had any special magical powers, either.

Based on everything Bash knew about what women wanted (which did not amount to much knowledge), he couldn’t imagine how this man ever had a shot at getting married.

“Wait. I want to ask that man there a question.”

Bash called the couple to a halt.

Azalea turned around slowly.

Her eyes were as fierce as a dragon’s. They seemed to say: Lay one finger on my darling hubby, and I’ll show you what true pain is!

“How did you manage to get this woman to marry you?”

“Huh?”

Azalea’s eyes flicked over to her hubby.

Now her eyes were filled with curiosity, as if she’d like to know, too.

The man hesitated, shuffled his feet, and coughed before answering.

“Um… Azalea saved my life during the war. I was captured by a succubus, and it wasn’t looking too good. I was completely out of strength—and mentally almost gone, too. If it wasn’t for Azalea… Well anyway, after the war, I came to the elf country to track her down… I wanted to thank her for saving my life, you know? And I found out she was looking for a husband. I thought, My goodness, this is my chance! Azalea was way out of my league, and I knew it was a stretch, but I just had to gather my courage and ask her…”

“…I see.”

Bash was ashamed of himself.

For a moment there, he had suspected the man of casting some kind of spell or using some other underhanded method to win her affection.

But no. The man had simply taken a chance. Fortune favors the bold, after all.

The man may not have been much of a fighter, but he still went out there and faced the battle head-on. As a result, he emerged victorious.

Bash was no stranger to throwing himself into impossible battles. But this man was different. He saw a chance and fought for it, despite the odds.

The orcs did not shy away from fighting battles with unfavorable odds. The act of battle itself was what was sacred to them.

But even Bash knew it was foolish to throw away your one chance on a battle that was impossible to win.

Which philosophy was correct? Bash couldn’t say.

All he knew was that General Baraben and the great war chief, Gandaguza, had done a similar thing and lost.

“Thank you, that’s very helpful.”

“Oh, uh, okay. Well, good luck out there.”

The man bowed politely to Bash, before heading off arm in arm with Azalea.

Maybe it was Bash’s imagination, but it looked like Azalea had an extra spring in her step and was snuggling up closer to her hubby than before.

Bash watched them go, his heart aching with envy, as they walked away. He imagined he could see little cartoon hearts floating over the happy couple.

“Well, if it isn’t Bash! You’re still in town then, Boss?”

Now someone else was calling out to Bash.

He turned to see another human male–elf female pair.

But this time, it was the man with whom Bash was acquainted.

It was Breeze…otherwise known as the Strangler.

Ah, but he’d seen the elf woman before, too.

Now he remembered. She was one of the three women who’d been chatting up that man when Bash first came to town. The one who’d said: “I’d fight a dragon for you, honey! I really, truly would! After all, I’d do anything for my man!”

“…So it seems you’ve found yourself a match.”

“Yep! I sure did!”

Breeze grinned lecherously, his arm around his beloved’s waist as he squeezed her buttock possessively. The elf blushed but made no protest.

Bash got a faint whiff of a musky, animalistic smell. It was the same kind of smell that wafted from the Breeding Grounds back in the orc country. Apparently, the two of them had spent an enjoyable night together.

Filled with such envy he could barely stand it, Bash gulped.

Now he would never have a chance with an elf lady like this.

“What’s next for you, Boss?”

“Hmm. It looks like there’s nothing left for me here. I’ll have to move on, but I’ve got no leads for where to go next.”

“Oh yeah. The business that brought you to this town is over and done with, I guess.”

The orc lich had been defeated, and all the zombies were slain, after all.

On top of that, Bash had saved the elf archmage and put down the zombified orc general, to boot. You could say that the orc reputation was well and truly restored in elf country.

Yes, the Boss’s mission here had been a smashing success, but now it was over.

…So concluded Breeze.

“…But if you’re looking for your next objective, I heard something that might interest you.”

“What?”

“Well, I don’t know all the details myself, buuut…”

“Just say it.”

“No, I mean, I really don’t know the details. All I’ve heard is that in Dobanga Pit… That’s in dwarf country, you know… Well, I’ve heard there’s a similar kind of situation going on there right now.”

A similar kind of situation…?

Bash’s brain lit up with huge, flaming letters spelling out the obvious.

Interspecies marriage boom!

Here in elf country, both Azalea’s wimpy hubby and Breeze, who was also down on his luck, had managed to land themselves hot elf brides.

Bash had as much chance as either of them, but he’d blown his shot. Still…he had been so close.

His mistake was gunning for Thunder Sonia, who was too far out of his league. Still, he’d gotten pretty close. He had a shot. Just like he had with Judith, the sexy knight from the human country.

If the dwarf nation was experiencing an interspecies marriage boom as well, then there was no reason for Bash to strike out a third time. The next time, he could very well meet…the one.

“Understood. I appreciate the information.”

“No problem! Well, it will probably be a tough fight ahead, but good luck! I’ll be rooting for you!”

Then Breeze and his new bride walked off together.

“The dwarves, eh…?”

“Dobanga Pit is due north of here, Boss.”

“Let’s go, then.”

“Roger that! I’ll follow you anywhere, Boss!”

Bash’s search for a bride in the elf country had ended in failure.

But Bash decided to shake off the defeat and pin all his hopes on this new prospect, up north, in dwarf country.

That day, a shock wave rippled through the elf country.

A certain piece of information spread through the grapevine like wildfire.

If this was the human country, they would have rushed to print newspaper headlines about it.

The elves didn’t have a cheap, tabloid news culture, but this rumor concerned the great Lady Sonia, so everyone was immediately interested.

It was passed around by word of mouth, and soon it was all anyone was talking about.

“The reason Lady Sonia wasn’t defiled in the Shiwanashi Forest was because the orc in question was so captivated by her beauty! She awakened his heart to true love!!!”

The gossip soon spread far beyond the Shiwanashi Forest region, and within a few days had permeated the entirety of the elf nation.