Chapter Three: The Great Honey Plot

Chapter Three: The Great Honey Plot

We went to Eldant Castle to report Amutech’s activities—as usual. Also as usual, in attendance were me, Minori-san, and Hikaru-san. Everything really was exactly the same as normal, but I felt like I had a lead weight inside me. Today was the day when, allegedly to save Amutech and protect Eldant’s demi-humans, I had to try to chat up Petralka.

I let out a long sigh. How many sighs was this? I’d lost count. Hikaru-san, walking beside me, jabbed me with his elbow. “Try to look more important.”

“Yeah... but... y’know?”

“Another man is about to steal Her Majesty the Empress away from you. Can you really live with that?”

I didn’t say anything. Was it just my imagination, or had I fallen into a trap with no way out? I was just sighing again when I noticed something. “Huh?”

Our morning reports normally took place in the smaller of the two audience chambers, and I had expected it would be the same today—but the knights were guiding us toward the larger hall, the one where we had first met Prince Rubert.

“Are we over here today?” Hikaru-san asked.

“That’s correct. Her Majesty instructed that you be brought here when you arrived.”

Then the knights called out, in voices loud enough to be heard on the other side of the thick wooden door, that we had arrived. Without a moment’s delay, the door opened with a heavy creaking, and we went inside.

I entered the audience chamber still beset by a clinging anxiety. Inside, it looked a lot like it had last time: knights and advisors lined up along a red carpet, at the far end of which sat Petralka on her throne, flanked by Garius and Zahar.

“...Oh.”

And standing in front of Petralka was, of course, Prince Rubert with his attendants.

“Well come, Shinichi,” Petralka said. We could physically feel the attention of the room shift to us as we walked toward her.

Halfway there, I spotted Eric-san and Rydel-san among the counselors, and my heart got even heavier. Naturally, they were staring at me as if they might be able to telepathically communicate the message, “Please help us!”

I came to a stop in front of Petralka—meaning, right next to Rubert. “E-Er, s-so we’re in this room today?” I started. This was normally the part of the conversation where I would lead with some pleasant chatter, but I could barely keep my voice from scraping.

I felt Hikaru-san tug on my sleeve, and looked over at him. “...Oops.”

Minori-san was already down on one knee, her head bowed, and Hikaru-san was halfway there. I quickly knelt myself—and then I understood. This was not going to be an ordinary audience between me and Petralka. I couldn’t just stand there and shoot the breeze with the empress in front of Prince Rubert and half the Eldant nobility. I had to act like someone who was meeting the absolute monarch. Wait—was it going to be like this the entire time Rubert was here?! Was I going to have to make my move on Petralka with the entire court watching?! We were way past Nightmare difficulty here—this was impossible!

While I was mentally coming apart...

“You need not stand on ceremony,” Petralka said with a smile. “We simply called you here because Rubert has expressed an interest in the nature of your activities. By all means, do as you always do.”

I looked up with a sigh, this time of relief, and got up.

“For some time now I have heard talk of you,” Prince Rubert said, his lips upturned. “They say your country boasts a proud and rich culture. I humbly ask you, if you would, to tell me of your land.” There was that princely smile, that breeziness and nobility that seemed to meet in some far-off plane to create that perfect Real-ness, all but overwhelming me.

No way! This was impossible! Trying to outdo this guy in a courtship contest was like taking on a Perfect Zeo*g with a B*ll! I wasn’t sure I even belonged in the same category of human being as him!

“Er... Uh...” I was suddenly frozen. How pathetic.

Prince Rubert cocked his head curiously, and Petralka supplied an explanation-cum-lifeline: “Shinichi is not accustomed to these surroundings. He sometimes jokes about by doing or saying uncouth things, but you may freely ignore him.”

Okay, so it was a lifeline where I got thrown under the bus.

“Oh, I am much the same,” Prince Rubert said, smiling generously. “I get anxious in such stiff settings.”

“You jest, Rubert.”

“I am quite serious. Especially here—” he said, turning toward Petralka, “—because Your Majesty’s beauty leaves me speechless.”

Daaaaamn. Was this a play? Was he an actor? Because I’ve never, ever met someone who could say something like that with a straight face and really mean it! O Rubert, a prince to be feared...!

“Prince Rubert, you have such a mouth on you,” Petralka said, but she didn’t look exactly displeased.

Ahh. I guess it really does make a girl happy to hear that sort of thing, even if she knows you don’t quite mean it.

“Such a mouth as speaks only the truth,” the Prince replied without missing a beat. Of course. Still... I had to admit, he didn’t sound like he was flirting. He and Petralka both had this tone like they were just exchanging hellos. I guess they’d had this sort of conversation more than once. But that in itself implied that Rubert knew a side of Petralka that I didn’t.

The idea of Rubert and Petralka getting married hadn’t clicked for me; I just hadn’t been quite able to imagine it. But when I saw them standing there bantering with each other, suddenly it started to seem real—and I saw why Eric-san and Rydel-san would feel so much urgency. All political problems aside, if and when Petralka announced publicly that she would accept Rubert’s suit, it would be very difficult to go back.

As all this was running through my mind, though, Petralka gave a little cough and said, “Ahem, Shinichi...” She seemed to want to say something—seemed to expect something—but I didn’t know what it could be.

“Y-Yes?”

“Is there nothing you wish to say?”

Anything I wanted to say?

Right here and now?

...............What was she hoping for from me?

“No, n-not really...” If anything, I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and making everything worse. But the moment the words were out of my mouth, I saw Petralka’s face darken. “Er, wh-what’s the matter?”

“There is no matter,” she said, and looked away from me. Ahh, she looked so cute when she did that—no! Now was not the time to be getting all moe-moe. Completely confused, I—

“Hrghaahh!”

—made a bizarre sound when something jabbed me in the side. I glanced over and saw Hikaru-san: his eyes were still fixed ahead, but his elbow was pointed toward me. “The paper,” he said softly, not moving his eyes. “You have it, right?”

For an instant, I didn’t know what he was talking about, but then I realized. I took a step forward, ahead of Minori-san and Hikaru-san. So now I was standing there, but I still couldn’t quite bring myself to... you know. I glanced back at Hikaru-san as if to say, “Are we really doing this?” and he replied with a glare that seemed to communicate, “Hurry up and do like we said, you nastyotaku!”

“Ahh... ahem.” (Very long pause.) “Mic check...? One, two.” All too aware of Hikaru-san staring directly at my back—to say nothing of Eric-san and Rydel-san—I took a deep breath and continued. “Your Majesty, Petralka an Eldant the Third.” I deliberately tried to lower my voice a bit. Stand up straight. Look important.

“Hm...?” Now Petralka was looking at me again, intrigued by my unusual tone and behavior. She was obviously wondering what was going on.

Were we sure this was going to work? Despite the question in my mind, I could still feel Hikaru-san’s gaze; it was almost like a physical pressure. If I tried to run now, I wasn’t sure he would let me make it out alive.

“You seem to be in fine spirits today, Your Majesty.”

“...............Huh?” Petralka blinked. God, that was cute.

“It never fails when I have the honor and pleasure of attending Your Majesty but my heart does dance in my chest. The glimmering cascade of your silver hair, the shining jewels of your— uh...”

What was I supposed to say next?

In a rush, I grabbed the piece of paper folded in a pocket of my pants. Hikaru-san’s “script” was written on it. Crib notes, if you will, for what to say to Petralka. The night before, Hikaru-san had forced me to recite it more than a hundred times, so I’d been pretty sure I had it down by heart—but now I was sure glad I’d brought it. Trying to hide the piece of paper with my hand, I read unsteadily from my notes.

“The shining jewels of your eyes that remind me of emeralds—that was it! Emeralds. And I confess you do look even more magisterial...alal... ow!” I bit my tongue. It hurt. The only thing more painful, somehow, was Hikaru-san glaring daggers into my back. I could only assume he was wondering how I could forget my lines, how I could bite my tongue, and how badly he was going to thrash me when this was all over. But I couldn’t help it! I’d never chatted up an empress before!

I was struggling to get out the next couple words when Petralka gave me her severest look. “Shinichi...”

“Ee-yeth?”

“We are sickened.”

“That hurts—!” I exclaimed without thinking. Here I had practiced so hard! Yes, I knew I didn’t sound as smooth as Prince Rubert! And yes, I agreed that Hikaru-san’s script probably laid it on a little thick! But to just dismiss all of that by saying you’re sickened?! It’s inhuman!

“Do you have a fever?”

“That hurts, too! I’m feeling completely fine and normal, thank you!”

If anything, her pitying glance hurt most of all. Don’t look at me like that!

I somehow managed to suppress the feeling that I was going to break into a million pieces (it helped that I was terrified of Hikaru-san, whom I could practically feel vibrating with rage behind me) and desperately tried to remember how the rest of the speech went.

“Uh, a-anyway, Your Majesty’s most reverent physiognomy is akin to a great opening blossom, and, uhh...”

“Hrm! Do not tell us...” Petralka seemed to be catching on. “Are you... a false Shinichi?!”

“What?”

“Reveal your true self!”

“What makes you think I’m an imposter?!”

“The real Shinichi would never say such things!”

Wait, how could she be so sure about that?!

“Just how awful do you think I am?!”

“Awful enough to exclaim ‘IS THAT REALLY AN ARCHETYPAL LITTLE GIRL CHARACTER?!’ upon our first meeting!”

“I told you, I’m sorry about that!”

“Now, tell us: are you a doppelgänger? An ot**rworld monster? Or a thief in disguise?! What have you done with the real Shinichi?!”

“I am the real Shinichi, Your Majesty!”

...and so it went. For a while longer, I tried my best to follow Hikaru-san’s “guaranteed strategy for getting the Petralka ending,” doing everything I could to heap praise on her.

But she pushed it all away with just those three words, “We are sickened.”

Report over, we left the audience chamber. We all walked silently through Eldant Castle’s huge hallways for a few minutes, but finally I stopped and looked at Hikaru-san.

“That was a total failureeeee!” I exclaimed, my eyes brimming with tears.

“I admit it was odd,” Hikaru-san said, cocking his head. “It should have worked...”

I had followed Hikaru-san’s script to the letter, working my way through the unfamiliar words of praise. Oh, how I had worked for those words! Though after Petralka’s remark about being “sickened,” the rest had been a desperate struggle. But I did it: the “Your voice is as charming as the twittering of a young bird.” The “Your skin is as pale as the new-fallen snow.” Even, after a beat at the very end, the “S-Sorry... I couldn’t find the words to express your beauty, Petralka...” And...! And...!

Arrgh! Just remembering it makes my flesh crawl!

To have someone who’s totally not even the least bit attractive suddenly spring that sort of talk on you—that would be sickening!

“B-But look, it was partly the way you delivered it,” Hikaru-san said. He sounded hesitant. I guess the look on my face was scaring him. “Your voice was kind of cracking, and you kept sort of choking on the words...”

“Well, what was I supposed to do?! That stuff is embarrassing!”

“I can say it with no problem.”

“That’s because we’re completely different characters! If you’re so cool about saying whatever, then say, ‘Awww, my bad, I guess your sweet little Hikaru got it all wrong. I’m so orry-say! ♪’ Say it!”

“Hrk?! What, do y-you have some sort of humiliation fetish? You want it right here, right now? Shinichi-san, I knew you had a filthy side, but—”

“You forced me to say all that awful stuff!” I wailed. No matter how strenuously I had objected...

“Point is,” Minori-san said, “you wouldn’t have to be an empress to think that display was suspicious. Shinichi-kun is right when he says it wasn’t very in character.”

“I knew you’d understand!”

Ahhh! If I had a hole, I would Lupi*-dive into it as fast as I could!

I was squirming with the thought of how dark my own Dark History was.

At that moment—the audience must have ended—I saw Eric-san and Rydel-san coming down the hall toward us.

“Shinichi-dono!”

“What in the world happened?”

They approached at long strides, sounding less angry than bewildered, and a little afraid.

“That isn’t going to help us very much!”

“Have you forgotten you’re our only hope, Shinichi-dono?”

“Come hell or high water, we simply need you to convince Her Majesty of our plan...”

I was pretty well cornered by their intensity. “Y-Yeah, believe me, I know,” was all I could muster. But no matter how I looked at it, I could only see how impossible the situation was, how unimaginable, how badly they had chosen the guy to pin their hopes on. Did Petralka like me? Maybe, but that didn’t mean I could charge in there and suddenly start saying all these things I’d never said before in an effort to out-talk Rubert.

But so—who was the right person? I sure didn’t have any names. Seriously, what were we going to do here? As Eric-san and Rydel-san bore down on me with their troubles, I found myself at a complete loss.

“Shinichi-sama.” That was when a lone knight approached and called my name. “Her Majesty summons you.”

“Huh...?”

That was the last thing I had been expecting. Maybe the only thing that could leave me even more flummoxed than Eric-san and Rydel-san had.

The knight took me to a terrace overlooking the courtyard. I had been here before. Petralka sometimes liked to hold little tea parties here as a break from work. And in fact, the familiar tea set was sitting out on the terrace. A round, pad foot table hosted a set of white teacups and a three-tier tea stand holding a variety of delicate treats. It looked a lot like an English afternoon tea; the whole thing oozed sophistication.

Normally the elegance of these things didn’t bother me, but today I was freaked. I felt like I didn’t belong here, like maybe it was even a crime for me to be here. The exact reason for that feeling had to do with the other participants. Namely Petralka, Garius, and Prince Rubert, who were all seated at the round table. Knights and maids stood nearby, along with a person who looked like one of Rubert’s attendants, a woman with long hair tied into a single braid. Every one of them looked like the sort of person who was completely at home at a fancy tea party. That left me, the no-name commoner from nowhere, to agonize and wonder what I was doing.

“So you are here, Shinichi,” Petralka said. She was smiling, as if she didn’t notice my profound discomfort. Considering the “sickening” business just a few minutes earlier, I supposed I should be grateful that she was still willing to smile at me at all. “Hm? What of Minori and Hikaru?”

“Hikaru-san says he’s coming —er, I mean, he is, uh, humbly on his way, Your Majesty.”

Just before the knight had led me off, Hikaru-san remembered some kind of business he apparently had to take care of. He left me there saying he would be with me soon. I guessed he would join us before long. And as for our bodyguard...

“Minori-san... well, uh...” I glanced back. She was standing in the shadow of a pillar a short distance away, watching me intently. She was hardly even hiding, just not getting very close.

“Is something the matter?” Petralka asked, raising an eyebrow at Minori-san’s stalker-esque pose. Fair enough.

“Uh... Let’s just say she’s not feeling very well...”

“Hrm. Isn’t she indeed?”

“Er, but I mean, she’s okay. Not awful or anything. She’s here as my bodyguard, but she’s keeping some distance, to make sure she doesn’t get in the way...” Even I thought this excuse was a stretch. Petralka was looking dubiously at Minori-san (I wasn’t sure she actually believed me). So were Garius and Rubert.

Hmm... Okay, not the most plausible thing.

But this was what Minori-san had emphatically wanted.

“I’m sorry, Shinichi-kun. I just can’t be in that place,” she had said to me, blushing, when she discovered that we were being taken to a tea party not only with Petralka, but with Garius and Rubert. “I mean, Garius-san and Prince Rubert in the same place?! Just thinking about it makes my heart race...!”

In fact, it wasn’t just the blushing. Everything about her looked different. Her breath was coming harder—maybe that was the real clue to what was going on. Frankly, it had me pretty worried.

“But you were okay earlier.”

“We were in the audience chamber, and they weren’t, like, right next to each other. I was able to survive somehow, but...”

“Is that... a needle?”

“I just need a little jab now and again. Right in the palm.”

“Geez!”

What was she, a samurai trying to stave off sleep?

Was it really that bad for her? That was one fearsome fujoshi.

“But a tea party? A private function? No way! Watching Minister Garius and Prince Rubert chat with each other, all smiles... why just picturing it... just p-p-p... ahhh!”

And so we had decided to have Minori-san keep some space between herself and the boys. Which naturally meant not being very close to me, considering I was sitting at the same table.

“Don’t you worry, though. I’ll still keep an eye on you.”

And she was definitely keeping an eye on something from the shadow of that pillar, but I didn’t think it was me. I could see her gaze, intent and glimmering behind her glasses, and I was pretty sure she was looking at Garius and Rubert, who were sitting on either side of Petralka.

“...Hmm, very well,” Petralka said finally, apparently deciding not to press the matter. She nodded to a chair. “Shinichi, you sit there.” Directly across from her.

I didn’t say anything.

“What is the matter, Shinichi?”

“Er, nothing.”

Well, Garius and Rubert were to either side of her, and it was a round table, so I guess in some sense, everyone was sitting “across from her.” No reason to worry, right? Right?

That’s what I tried to tell myself as I sat down—and at that moment, who should appear but Hikaru-san.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, coming quickly over to the table.

But he wasn’t alone. Right behind him were Loek and Romilda.

“Huh? What are—”

Hikaru-san seated himself beside me and whispered, “I asked them to come with me.”

So that’s what had been keeping him. But I still didn’t understand why he had gone to get the elf and the dwarf.

Hikaru-san gave me a pointed smile. “Call it... a little insurance.” Then he turned to Petralka and the others and said, “I hope you don’t mind? I don’t mean to have them sit with us, of course. Consider them like my attendants.” He glanced at the knights, and the woman with Prince Rubert. Each of us, myself included, had various guards and servants, so we could hardly tell Hikaru-san he was the only one who wasn’t allowed.

“We do not object, but...” Petralka glanced at Prince Rubert. I followed her look, and:

Yikes.

My heart went to my throat. He still looked as good as ever, beautiful enough to make even another guy fall in love with him. You would almost think there wasn’t a look that could pass over his face that would make him less gorgeous. But by the same token, it made every little shift of his expression important. And just now, his expression had shifted. He looked ever so slightly tense. Angry? Or...

He didn’t speak right away, but I saw his blue eyes twitch in my direction. That seemed to help him get his calm smile back, and he said, “I don’t mind at all.” He sounded completely composed, not the least bit put out. As if the slip hadn’t even happened.

“...Well, there you have it,” Petralka said.

“My thanks,” Hikaru-san replied with an elegant bow. Loek and Romilda stood behind him, but they didn’t look very comfortable. I could tell the awkward moment hadn’t been lost on them.

A maid approached noiselessly, setting a cup down in front of each of us and pouring tea. I watched the steam rise from the cup, somehow hardly able to stand it.

“Our apologies for summoning you so suddenly,” Petralka said to me and Hikaru-san. It was as if the tea was our signal to begin. Incidentally, going clockwise from where Petralka was sitting, the seats belonged to Garius, Hikaru-san, me, and Rubert. There was a single vacant seat between me and the prince, originally intended for Minori-san.

“Allow me to reintroduce myself,” the prince said. “I am Rubert Wollyn, and I am most interested in the activities of your ‘Amutech.’ It is because of me that Her Majesty Petralka brought you here so abruptly. I certainly hope I didn’t trouble you.”

“N-No, it’s fine...” I said, feeling distinctly overwhelmed.

“In fact, it’s an honor,” Hikaru-san jumped in, as smoothly as if he were born to this. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that his face was a little bit stiff, but it didn’t seem to keep him from rolling with the situation. Maybe that was what came of being a lifelong cosplayer: once he had a role to play, he could and would throw himself into it. “I am Ayasaki Hikaru of Amutech,” he said.

“Oh, uh, and I’m Kanou Shinichi, Amutech’s general manager,” I added quickly. We both bowed our heads.

“So the two of you...” Rubert glanced at Petralka and Garius as if to seek confirmation, then said, “...are the ones who are said to have come to our world from a land that cannot be reached by carriage or by boat, no matter how long the voyage.”

“Um... yes.”

That seemed like a bit of a mouthful—where we came from, we might have just used the one simple word isekai, but I guess when you didn’t have so much as the concept of sci-fi, you had to resort to more roundabout expressions. Granted, we’d arrived here via hyperspace wormhole; it wasn’t like we warped to lightspeed or something.

“Mm. It sounds as remote as heaven or hell.”

“B-Believe me, it’s a lot less interesting than that.”

“I beg to differ. Everything I hear suggests a country of profoundly advanced culture, along with objects that are equivalent in function to magic without actually being magical.”

“Umm...” How was I going to explain this one? For that matter, was it even acceptable for me to just go chatting away about Earth or about Japan? Zwelberich was obviously aware that we had come from another world, but I had no idea how much else they knew, and that was the problem.

Rubert interrupted my search for the right words: “Kanou Shinichi, is that right?” A gentle smile played over his exquisite face. Even I could tell that it wasn’t spontaneous; he had put it there on purpose. Don’t worry, he seemed to be saying, I won’t bite. Then he said quietly, “I’m very... interested in the two of you.” He sounded sweet, sultry, like he thought he was in some kind of romance series.

And just then—

There was a dull sound from behind us. I whipped around to find Minori-san with her head shoved against the pillar.

Ahhh...

“What is Minori doing?” Petralka asked.

“I—I guess her forehead itched? Maybe?” I said with a forced laugh. The needle must not have been enough. I admired her commitment, but if we didn’t find some way to get her out of here, she was going to break her own skull.

“The culture of one land certainly can seem inexplicable to the people of another,” Hikaru-san said, moving promptly to redirect the conversation. “We don’t have any magic in our world, and we don’t have elves and dwarves either.”

“None at all?”

“Not one. No beast people, no lizardmen. Just humans and animals,” Hikaru-san explained to a sincerely surprised Prince Rubert. “And dragons? They exist in our stories, but nowhere else.”

“Hoh...” Rubert nodded, intrigued. “A society consisting entirely of humans, you say...?” His lips edged upward into a smile. He could have been a painting: The Young Prince Imagines a Land Unknown. Then he said, “Wonderful indeed,” and I found myself caught on that. I felt a prickle, like a thorn. It was—

“Where do you live now?” Rubert asked.

“Pretty close,” I said. “Petralka... uh, an Eldant the Third—Her Majesty—has generously provided us a mansion to live in.” I had been just about to do my normal thing and call Petralka by nothing but her first name, but I managed to save it by appending her entire name and title. I suspected it wouldn’t do to refer to the empress in such familiar terms in front of Prince Rubert. I seemed to remember Prime Minister Zahar saying something about how the only people who could call the empress by her first name were her family, people as close as family—and her betrothed.

“Right now there’s me, Hikaru-san, and our bodyguard Minori-san, and then there’s our half-elf maid, our lizardman gardener and maid, plus—”

Suddenly I stopped. There it was again. That stiffness, passing over Rubert’s face for an instant. That look, along with the weird prickling I’d felt earlier, made me pretty sure: it was contempt. Disgust toward demi-humans.

Zwelberich had very advanced magic, but also what you might call a human supremacist culture. Humans stood at the top of the social hierarchy, and demi-humans like elves and dwarves were subject to discrimination or worse. It’s not like Eldant was completely free of discrimination toward demi-humans, but it sounds like it was way worse in Zwelberich.

I thought back to how shocked Myusel and Brooke had seemed the first time I had explained that I wanted to eat at the same table with them. If that was how things were here, I could only imagine what it was like to be a demi-human in Zwelberich. Maybe it made Prince Rubert’s hair stand on end to think someone would live under the same roof as a half-elf or lizardman. Apparently it was so repugnant to him that it caused his perfect mask to slip for a bare instant.

After the slightest beat, Rubert said, “It sounds very lively. What a pleasure.” The tension was already gone from his face. This prince seemed to have more self-control than even Minori-san. In the Eldant Empire, there were elves and dwarves in positions of power, even if not very many, and Rubert knew better than to allow any of his distaste for them to show through.

When I looked closely, I realized that all his attendants, as well as all the knights and maids around him, where human. The attendants were one thing, but the fact that there wasn’t a demi-human even among the maids must have been a deliberate act of consideration on the part of Petralka and her aides.

I thought of what Rubert had said a moment earlier. He had praised the fact that our world had no demi-humans—as if to say he didn’t need them in his own. If this was how an ambassador acted in a foreign state, I could only imagine how he behaved in Zwelberich, where he wasn’t expected to so much as pay lip service to demi-human dignity.

In my own world, there were plenty of cases of humans starting wars with other humans over differences in religion or language. Sometimes large groups of people from other tribes, or nations, or religions were gathered up and attacked or expelled. And those were fellow human beings. Just think what would happen if the people in question literally belonged to another species.

If the dominant worldview in Zwelberich were to spread to Eldant, the local demi-humans would find themselves in a storm of persecution far worse than anything they were experiencing now. At worst, we might even end up with a war between humans and demi-humans, or some kind of genocide—the mass killing of demi-humans. It was all too clear why people like Eric-san and Rydel-san would be worried about a marriage between Petralka and Prince Rubert.

There was an awkward moment of silence as the conversation came to a halt. All of us around the table sipped from our teacups or admired the neatly arranged snacks.

Then, pale fingers extended. Two hands just happened to reach for the same snack, and met in the middle, brushing against each other.

One of the hands belonged to Prince Rubert. The other, to Garius.

Garius pulled his hand back almost as if he had been burned, but Rubert, for his part, only narrowed his eyes in a pained smile. Garius seemed to be barely keeping himself together, but Rubert looked completely composed. Maybe he had deliberately reached for the same snack as Garius, knowing this would happen.

The two of them seemed to be enveloped in a space all their own. There was tension, yes, but no shadow of hostility or contempt. What’s this...? I could practically see the rose petals dancing through the air behind them, but... that was my imagination, right? It had to be. Because the alternative would be frightening.

Suddenly, I felt a rush of sympathy for Petralka, sitting between the two men. If I had been in her place, surrounded on all sides by their little moment, I probably would have been writhing with discomfort. But Petralka looked on calmly as if nothing was happening.

I looked back at five quick rapping sounds, to find Minori-san down on all fours, pounding her fists against the floor. Ahh. The atmosphere had fired the BL flames within her, and she was struggling to contain them. At least it was her fists she was slamming against the ground, and not her head. That seemed significantly less lethal. But I was still kind of worried about the terrace tiles...

Petralka, Garius, and Prince Rubert had all noticed Minori-san’s behavior, too, and were regarding her with perplexity. This was bad, I figured, in a number of ways.

“Hikaru-san, what do we do?” I whispered.

“Let me handle it,” he whispered back, and then snapped his fingers. Loek and Romilda, who had been waiting behind him as if for exactly this moment, rushed over to Minori-san.

“P-Pardon me, Minori-sensei,” Loek said, pinning her arms behind her and pulling her to her feet. That was when I finally understood why Hikaru-san had brought them along. They were going to play the part Elvia had not long ago. Loek wasn’t exactly a bodybuilder, but together with Romilda, who was so much stronger than she looked, the two of them would be able to overpower Minori-san if the need arose. There was just one little problem...

“Ahh...” Loek, still holding Minori-san’s arms, didn’t move. Wait... he was gazing into the sky with tears streaming down his face.

“T-To think that the day would come when I would be so... so close to Minori-sensei! I am—ahh! I am truly—!”

“Cut the creepiness and let’s go!” Romilda, apparently worried Loek would stand there forever, stepped hard on his foot.

“Hrrgh?!” Loek let go of Minori-san, crouching over his wounded foot. Romilda may have been small, but she was a dwarf. She probably had more muscle than I did, and was certainly stronger. Not to mention that dwarven footwear was equivalent to what we would have called steel-toed work boots. So getting stepped on by a dwarf was a little bit like putting your foot in a steel press.

“Wh-What’s wrong with you?!” Loek wailed. I did feel bad for him.

“I said, cut it out!” Romilda exclaimed, then grabbed Loek and Minori-san both by the scruff of the neck, one with each hand, and dragged them away. Wow. Go dwarves. They might not have had the reflexes of a werewolf, but for sheer strength, there was probably no one stronger in the whole Eldant Empire.

In any event, that was three fewer people on the terrace.

“It seems Minori-san isn’t feeling well,” Hikaru-san said smoothly. “Those two will see to it that she gets some rest.”

I didn’t think anyone was going to be fooled by that excuse, but he delivered it so confidently that nobody was quite willing to contradict him. And then he segued neatly into the next part of the conversation: “By the way, Your Highness Rubert. You recently proposed marriage to Her Majesty. Might I ask which aspects of the empress you find most attractive?”

There was a beat, in which Rubert blinked and looked at Hikaru-san with a slight widening of the eyes. He probably hadn’t expected that particular question, and certainly not from a rank outsider like an Amutech employee. Nonetheless, though, his smile quickly came back. “What I find attractive about her? Well, it must be said that real marriages so frequently have but little to do with the preferences or feelings of those involved.”

“Gracious. You mean your proposal was purely political? That you don’t love Her Majesty at all?” Hikaru-san feigned surprised. Geez! Talk about provocative. I was starting to break out in a cold sweat, and I was only watching. He was dancing with infuriating Prince Rubert, wasn’t he?

“Now, now, don’t be hasty. Political it may be, but it is politics that now allows me to join myself to the unparalleled beauty that is Her Majesty. A happier chance I can scarcely imagine.” He sounded so smooth. This was courtship. “For I’ve never known a woman more beautiful. If it were only the composed cast of her features, well, perhaps some other fair lady might offer the same. But the nobility of her bearing and the radiance of her wisdom make Her Majesty a rare creature indeed. Her lustrous silver hair—to see it is to wish one could take it in one’s hands in sweet caress. But even her shimmering tresses pale before the splendor of her eyes, green emeralds lit from within by the effulgence of her spirit. That is what I find most attractive about Her Majesty.”

Okay, so I was pretty impressed that he could say all that at the drop of a hat... and with a straight face. I noticed Petralka’s chest puff out a little, pleased to be showered with compliments, even if they did seem a little over the top. And then I thought she glanced in my direction.

Huh? What?

I blinked, not understanding the meaning of her look, at which point Petralka frowned and turned away. Was she... mad?

“Have I convinced you that my affections are more than mere talk?” Rubert asked.

“I daresay you have,” Hikaru-san said. “Please pardon my most impudent question.” They were both smiling at each other.

I watched them—and felt something nag at me. I totally agreed that Petralka’s hair was beautiful. And her eyes were definitely like jewels, clear and piercing; when she looked right at me, it always made my heart pound. The way she picked up Japanese in a flash, and the simple fact that she dealt with being empress at her age, both showed how smart she was.

But... how could I put this? If I had been in Prince Rubert’s place, I don’t think “beautiful” is the word I would have chosen to express what was great about Petralka. The Petralka I knew was outgoing, kind of boyish, selfish sometimes, and totally committed to everything she did. She was the cutest girl I knew. If you pressed me, I might even have called her lovely... Wouldn’t those be better things to compliment?

Or was this just a case of the interpreter rings not catching the nuance of what Rubert was saying? For that matter, did Rubert know how sensitive Petralka was about her youthful looks? Was he just being considerate?

Or one more possibility: was I overthinking everything?

But then, as I finally wrenched my gaze away from Petralka...

“Oh...”

There they were. Silver hair and emerald eyes of unparalleled beauty.

That was it: the hair, the eyes. They weren’t those of Petralka. They had to belong to someone else. Someone else who was sitting right here, someone who could never be described as “cute” or “lovely,” but only as truly beautiful.

Garius en Cordobal.

I realized he was looking at Rubert, and when I glanced over, I saw that Rubert was looking at him, too.

The knight, Garius, and the prince, Rubert. Exchanging a single, brief glance. But that made it all the more meaningful, all the more important that I noticed it.

Just a second...

Maybe all the stuff Rubert had just said—maybe he wasn’t really talking about Petralka at all, but about Garius. No, there was no maybe about it. That had to be it. Garius being Garius, he was completely expressionless, but there was a faint flush of what might have been embarrassment on his cheeks. He had the same pale skin as Petralka, so a blush stood out pretty obviously.

Hmmm. I was starting to get a sense of what was going on here. I looked back at Petralka, who was just reaching out for one of the snacks. Maybe it was one of her favorites, because there was an innocent joy on her face; it really was adorable. When she noticed me looking at her, though, she quickly drew her hand back and frowned again, then put on a prim and proper expression before reaching delicately for the snack. It definitely looked appropriate for an empress, but to me it was all too obvious that she was putting on an act.

Petralka had lost her parents to a political struggle at a very young age. She’d had to force herself to grow quickly into the role of empress. I knew what a heavy burden she was under—and so it stung to see her forcing herself to act grown-up.

Silently, I looked back at Prince Rubert. Honestly, he really was a good-looking guy. Nothing to complain about. He was relaxed, gentle, like a prince from some storybook. His whole... I don’t know. Vibe? Aura? Whatever it was, it seemed worlds apart from a son of the common folk like myself. Rubert was more than qualified to be the husband of an empress. He was literally born to it.

And yet even still, I couldn’t forget the look of disgust that had passed over his face for an instant a little while ago. It was all the more startling because he was so beautiful. Because he looked so kind. And maybe he really was. But I had to guess that kindness didn’t extend to demi-humans.

What’s more, I assumed he didn’t know the real Petralka. He only knew her as an empress. Did he know the way she puffed out her cheeks like a little kid when she got angry? The innocent sparkle in her eyes when she discovered something new and delightful? The way the simplest thing could bring a great big shining smile to her face? I bet he didn’t.

Yes, I had gotten myself socked by saying something totally rude the very first time I met Petralka—but on reflection, maybe that moment was what had allowed me to see past the imperial mask she wore.

Anyway, Prince Rubert may have proposed to Petralka, but I got the feeling he didn’t see her as an individual, a young woman with her own feelings and goals and desires. Even if he really meant all that stuff he’d said earlier for Petralka, and I doubted it, almost anyone who was a smooth enough talker could have come up with that just by looking at the empress. It was almost a social nicety.

That was a political marriage for you. Obviously, I wasn’t going to sit here and say that every match had to be 100% love, but in my own humble opinion, being married to someone who saw you for your political position more than as a human being... I couldn’t imagine Petralka could ever be truly happy that way.

And so I finally said: “I disagree. I don’t think those are Petralka’s best features.”

A collection of startled gazes settled on me. Prince Rubert, of course, and also Hikaru-san, but even Petralka was looking at me with wide eyes.

“Shinichi...?” she asked.

This wasn’t just about what Eric-san and Rydel-san and Matoba-san had all asked me to do. I, me personally, didn’t believe in Petralka’s getting married to Prince Rubert. I objected.

“Listen to me. I think Petralka’s best feature...” The empress turned an expectant gaze upon me, whereupon I nodded emphatically and clenched a fist to underscore my point. “...is what a total loli she is, obviously!”

“............Huh?” Petralka said finally.

Hikaru-san and Garius sat frozen, transfixed as if by an onrushing avalanche, but I didn’t so much care about their reactions. Instead I stared straight at the wide-eyed Prince Rubert and went on without a pause: “Especially that chest! Smooth as you like! The smaller the boobs, the bigger the deal! And it’s not just the bust! It’s how even at seventeen, she looks like she could pass for an elementary-schooler! What rare quality! Do you hear me? Do you understand? She’s a legal loli! Under Japanese law, you can get married at sixteen, get it?! And we’re talking about someone who legitimately goes around using the royal ‘we’! It’s like they took every moe ingredient they could find and threw it all together in one girl! Unbelievable!! Petralka-san is truly an angel!”

To conclude my speech I pounded the table, breathing hard. I could see Hikaru-san with his head in his hands, but that didn’t matter to me now.

“Shiiiniiiichiiii!” Petralka was glaring at me with a face that would have frightened a demon. The next second, there was a crash as her chair tipped over, and she rushed around the table at me. “Who do you think you are calling a loliiiiii!”

That adorable, pale fist connected with my face.

“Gurf!”

Petralka attacks! Shinichi fainted!

“Who is smooth?!”

Still not satisfied, Petralka jumped on top of me, grabbed me by the collar, and began shaking me violently.

Oof! That’s surprisingly effective...

“We will be damned if you ever, ever learn to measure your pronouncements and not say whatever comes into your foolish head!”

“Oof! No! I really—I just wanted—Prince Rubert to know—the best—thing about you!”

“‘The bigger the deal,’ indeed!”

“I swear it’s true!”

“And when we know you are always looking at Myusel, or Minori, or Elvia!”

“I told you—big is good—but small—small is great!”

“Then you should pay more—”

“More what?”

“More nothing! Silence!” Petralka finally let go of me, but she threw in a headbutt for good measure. I lay there sandwiched between her and the floor, groaning with pain.

I could hear Hikaru-san sigh somewhere above me, out of patience. “What are you doing, Shinichi-san?”

“Me? I’m just trying to communicate what’s best about Petralka... in my own way...”

“Best, hmph! You are the most impudent, most insolent person, Shinichi!” Petralka finally moved away from me, turning to a wide-eyed Rubert. “This Shinichi has been a study in effrontery since the moment we met. His first words to me were, ‘IS THAT REALLY AN ARCHETYPAL LITTLE GIRL CHARACTER?!’ What fool bursts out with such a thing to an empress?!”

Was it my imagination, or—despite her tirade—was there a hint of merriment in Petralka’s expression? She stomped and fumed, but I could see Garius shrug with a wan smile, as if to say, “They’re always like this.”

About half an hour later, the little tea party ended. We left the terrace and headed down a hallway, where we joined up with Loek’s and Romilda’s fathers, who had been waiting for us. We went to a side room the men had reserved for us, where we intended to debrief about the progress we were making. Minori-san, Loek, and Romilda were already in the room when we got there.

“Sorry Loek, sorry Romilda,” I said to the elf and dwarf who had helped remove my berserk bodyguard. “Thanks for your help.”

“Don’t mention it! I’m always happy to help you, Sensei!” Romilda beamed at me. She might like to pick a fight with Loek now and again, but she really was a good kid at heart.

Then I turned to Hikaru-san and said, “You knew that was going to happen?”

“Eh, I had an inkling,” Hikaru-san shrugged. He was looking in the direction of Minori-san, who had a lopsided grin on her face and was muttering to herself. “I know just what they’re saying right now,” she rambled. “‘Jealous? I know it must burn you up to see me making nice with Petralka.’ ‘Feh! I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ ‘Hee hee! How I enjoy getting you all out of sorts.’”

“Oh, absolutely!” someone responded enthusiastically. It was Loek, standing there beside Minori-san. He looked like he was having fun—but did he really understand what she was saying? I know they say love is blind, but is it deaf, too? I was genuinely impressed that he could encounter Minori-san in that state of mind and not go running the other way in terror. Maybe he just didn’t make very good choices. I could only hope for his sake that this elf didn’t stray too far off the path of sanity.

Ahem. Anyway.

“Tell us, tell us! Did it go well?” Eric-san said.

“Well? Well...” I gave them my best ambiguous smile. At the tea party, I had really tried my hardest to speak up for Petralka, but all I’d managed to do was make her angry. Well probably wasn’t the word I would use to describe how it had gone. Then again, I could hardly just chortle, “Nope! Screwed it all up! ♪” Eric-san and Rydell-san’s grim expressions made that obvious.

“Yes. On the whole, I think it went quite nicely.”

“...Huh?”

“Did it indeed?! Wonderful! We knew we could count on you, Shinichi-dono!”

The dads were grinning and sharing looks of huge relief, but I was too busy staring at Hikaru-san in complete shock to appreciate it. I brought my hand up to cover my mouth and whispered to Hikaru-san so the dads wouldn’t hear us.

“Uh, Hikaru-san?”

“Yes, Shinichi-san?”

“Exactly what happened back there that you would describe as going quite nicely? Petralka was angrier than a swarm of bees!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say she was angry,” Hikaru-san said, sounding perfectly confident.

“You... wouldn’t?”

“I have to confess, Her Majesty didn’t look thrilled with my little script. But it seems like if the words come from your heart, Shinichi-san, then it doesn’t matter what words they are—they’ll reach her. Love does make fools of us all, I suppose. It was silly of me to think a rehearsed come-on was the right way to go.”

“Huh? What? I’m not following.”

Hikaru-san looked at me with exasperation, then finally said, “I have no interest in taking the time to explain it right now. Just take my word for it.”

His word. Great.

But Hikaru-san refused to give me any more hints. Instead, he turned back to the dads and said, “I’m chagrined to admit that the script I gave Shinichi-san didn’t work. But it seems error has been the handmaiden of good fortune today, and everything worked out to our advantage.”

“Ah! We are so grateful!” Eric-san and Rydell-san said, nodding. I really didn’t understand what was going on... but Hikaru-san usually knew what he was talking about. And it didn’t look like I was going to get anything else out of him for the time being.

“Now, obviously, I don’t think we’ve scuppered this wedding talk with just one little tea party. We have to stay on the alert. And how Regent Cordobal feels about the match will be of the utmost importance, as well.”

“He’s in love with Prince Rubert, obviously!” our resident fujoshi broke in.

Hikaru-san and I both understood that trying to talk to Minori-san in this condition wasn’t going to get us anywhere, so we tried our best to ignore her, though that didn’t get us very far, either.

“If we could bring Minister Cordobal to our side, it would help our cause immensely.”

“Those two are a complete item! You can tell just by looking at them!”

“Might you try feeling him out on the matter?”

“Oh yes, feel him! The virginal sweetness of Garius-san! I used to be so sure that Garius-san was a top, but just look at that expression! That’s the face of a bottom if you ever saw one, isn’t it?!”

“But if he says he agrees with the match, that would only make things worse...”

“Prince Rubert has to be the top! That easy smile! The look that says, I have you in the palm of my hand! That face is top, top, top!”

“Stop, stop, stop! You filthy, fermenting WAC!” We were never going to be able to have a conversation at this rate! “And that last thing you said is so dangerous!”

What did it even mean for a face to “be top”?! If it ever got out that Minori-san was using Prince Rubert as fodder for her hot man-on-man fantasies, they could probably execute her for offending royalty. Maybe Minori-san had started to forget about the danger, considering how indulgent Garius was toward BL stories.

“That’s enough of that!” I said, then looked toward Rydel-san and Eric-san. I didn’t expect them to let any of this out of this room, but there was still always a risk in letting Eldant people see this twisted side of Minori-san. “At least take that ring off your finger!” I instructed. That would at least stop the dads from understanding what she was saying. Although Loek and Romilda, who had learned some Japanese at school, might still pick something up.

“Oh, boo hoo hoo!” Minori-san griped. Maybe she was upset to have been interrupted when she was on such a roll. But nonetheless, she took the ring off.

Huh, cute. Minori-san already had such baby-like features that a bit of a tantrum from her was sort of adorable. But forget about that for a moment.

“I’ll have you know, I’m right, though!” Minori-san went on. “The fact that another BL lover just like me was stalking them proves it!” She clenched her fist.

“Another BL lover?” I said.

Minori-san chuckled triumphantly. “When Garius-san and Prince Rubert were meeting, all alone, she was there, hiding in the shadows not far away.”

“......Huh? It was just the two of them?” So how did she know about this?

“Here, look,” Minori-san said, then proudly showed me her phone. On the screen was a video showing one of the castle hallways. And indeed, you could see Garius and Rubert facing each other, no one else around. The video must have been taken with a wide-angle lens, because it showed a fairly large area, but the picture was slightly distorted.

“How did you—”

“I have cameras set up all over the castle.”

“Oh, that explains it. Wait, what?!” I exclaimed. “That’s sneak-shooting! And when did this start, anyway?!”

“Pretty early on,” Minori-san said, with no evident sense that she had done anything wrong. “Matoba-san asked me to set up a video surveillance system so we could see how the Eldant side felt about us. They’re watching us, too. Fair’s fair.”

Come to think of it, I did remember a bunch of weird owl-cyclops-things—magical creatures or sprites or something; I didn’t really understand—that had staked out our mansion in the early days.

Anyway, thank God I’d had Minori-san take off her ring.

“So, get a look at this person.” Minori-san zoomed in on a woman hiding in the shadows, apparently watching the two men.

“Is that...?”

“Uh-huh. One of Prince Rubert’s attendants.”

She was right: I recognized the woman from the tea party earlier. Her long hair was tied behind her head.

“You don’t think she’s just there to guard him?”

“But she’s always, like, looking at the two of them. I mean really looking.”

“Uh... okay.” So this woman was rotten, too.

“Trust me. I could be friends with that lady, for sure. Gosh, I wanna talk to her!” Minori-san clasped her hands in front of her chest, eyes sparkling. She looked like a young girl having an innocent daydream, but inside that ample bosom, I knew, beat a dark heart. Her smile was creeping its way from ear to ear.

“Mi—Minori-sensei! If it is talk, I will any time with you!”

“Hoo... hoo hoo hoo!”

Loek had apparently picked up on the words talk with, and tried to turn it into an opportunity for himself, but his words couldn’t reach Minori-san anymore. Shame for him.

“Minori-sensei, you look so funny when you are all excited,” Romilda laughed from beside the two blinking dads. I was actually pretty impressed that Romilda was able to cope with Minori-san in full fujoshi mode with just the word “funny.”

“Ahh, my chest is almost bursting! Oh, the pain... to moe until I can moe no more... it hurts...!”

I pried my attention away from Minori-san and looked over at Hikaru-san. Our eyes met, and we both let out long sighs.

I stepped out of the room, leaving everyone in there with Minori-san, still in her crazed state.

“Okay, where was the bathroom from here again?”

To be honest, I was only partially answering the call of nature. Partly I just wanted to get away from a conversation that didn’t seem to be going anywhere—at least nowhere I could see. I wanted to get the proverbial breath of fresh air.

I’d been to the castle often enough by now to have a general idea of where the bathrooms were. On the first floor, you could even take a pretty good guess where they were based simply on the way the rest of the building was designed.

I went down the hallway, bowing to the occasional knight or bureaucrat that I passed.

“Hm...?” Over in a corner, hiding in the shadows... I thought I saw someone. “Is that...?”

She was small of stature, so she could hide almost anywhere. But one thing she couldn’t conceal was that long silver hair. It was as bright as if it had been made of real silver. I knew two people with hair like that—but only one was short.

“Pe—”

I almost called out to her, but then I stopped myself. I had left her royally peeved just a few minutes ago, and anyway, Petralka thought she was hiding. The polite thing to do would probably be just to walk past. Even if I did sort of wonder what the Empress of the Holy Eldant Empire was doing here of all places. I was just pretending to walk nonchalantly by when—

“Shinichi!” Petralka called my name. I reflexively turned, and our eyes met. She raised an eyebrow. “Hrm. What are you doing in this place?”

“That’s my line! Er... I mean, uh...”

Just for a beat, Petralka watched me struggle for words. Then she gestured me over as if a thought had suddenly occurred to her. “Shinichi, come here.”

“Huh? But—”

“Do not argue, just come here.” A hint of annoyance entered her voice.

Oof. That was a direct order from the empress. No running away from this one. I went over and joined Petralka in the shadowy corner. I was never going to be completely hidden here, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.

“Shinichi...” Petralka said, almost in a whisper. “All of... that... earlier. Is that how you really feel?”

“Guh? No, look, I just—” I scrambled for something to say. It looked like Petralka still hadn’t forgotten about the whole “loli” business. This was bad news... “Your Majesty, you were completely within your rights to be upset with me, uh, most honorably...” I braced myself to get slugged at any time.

Had I meant what I’d said? Sure I had. Even I realized maybe I had gone a little overboard with the way I’d said it, but I really did think Petralka was cute, and I still thought the way I had put it got a lot closer to what was in my heart than some fill-in-the-blank compliments you could give to anyone. Even if... well, okay, I had gone over the top. Yes. Sorry.

“I promise I wasn’t making fun of you,” I said. “Petralka, I think... I mean, really...”

“Is that so?” Petralka asked after a moment, nodding. And then she gave me the slightest smile.

Huh...?

“H-Hey, what...? Are you...?”

Petralka studied a spot on the floor as she said shyly, “Let it be said... that we were... in f-fact, happy to hear it. Ahem.”

Wait, so... not mad?

I looked at Petralka in surprise, and she went on, “Although your grotesque display earlier remains sickening.”

“That hurts, Your Majesty...” I grant that it was the sort of thing a passing policeman would have arrested me for! Really! But I was genuinely trying to express what I truly... You know what? Never mind about that right now.

“We, being who we are, have forgiven you for it. But we warn you against saying such things to any other woman. You would be lucky simply to find yourself in her ill graces, and not on the end of her sword.”

“S-So you’re saying you’ll let it go?”

“We will let it go. You should be grateful to us for our magnanimous and merciful nature.”

“S-Sure...”

Maybe Petralka really did understand that I had been sincerely trying to compliment her, in my own way.

Geez... I knew it was way, way late to be thinking about this, but what must Prince Rubert have thought about my little speech? What if he took my attempt to set him straight about Petralka’s virtues as a declaration of war? What if it sounded like I was saying, “I know her better than you”?

Okay, so maybe there was no what if about it. It had been pretty clear that my message was: “You don’t understand! You don’t understand at all!!” But it really was because I wanted him to know Petralka better. I thought Petralka needed someone around her who would fight for her not as the empress, but as a young woman. And if Prince Rubert didn’t understand that, then I thought he should withdraw his proposal. That’s what I had wanted to get across with my outburst.

I wasn’t out to interfere with Petralka’s marriage. But if she was going to get married, I wanted it to make her happy. Sure, I would be sad if she got married and had to distance herself from me. But if it really made her happy, then any match would absolutely have my blessing.

Er... what am I saying? It’s almost like I...

“Shinichi?” Petralka was giving me a curious look. Right in the face. With her face. So close to my face... So close... Too close, Petralka! With the two of us hiding in the shadows, practically shoulder to shoulder, I could almost feel her body heat, the breath from her lips. Somehow, that made me extremely shy.

Why, though? She’d sat on my knees to read manga before, so why was I getting all anxious now?

“B-By the way,” I said, “why are we hiding?” I hoped the question would keep her from noticing how nervous I was.

A frown passed over Petralka’s face. “There is too much talk. All around us, it is nothing but chatter.”

“Talk? Chatter?”

“After... what happened. Our retainers descended upon us, jabbering about every minor detail of this betrothal to Prince Rubert.”

“Ahh...”

That’s right—Loek and Romilda’s parents had said something about trying to persuade Petralka themselves. They weren’t the only demi-human ministers, and they were probably all getting together to try to stop Petralka from marrying Rubert. But the whole fact that they were so desperate to stop the marriage implied that there were at least some people among the human members of the court who were eager to see it go on. Eldant and Zwelberich had a history of intermarriage, and it seemed likely that some princess of Zwelberich somewhere along the line had brought some of her own ministers with her to Eldant. They’d put down roots and now naturally advocated for continued closeness between the two nations.

Hmmm...

“It was all too much, and we fled.” Petralka sounded like she might heave a giant sigh at any moment.

“Um, Petralka?”

“What?”

“Are you going to marry Prince Rubert?”

“Well...” She seemed a bit lost for words; she looked away from me. Was she embarrassed? No, maybe not. Just for a second, I thought Petralka really liked Prince Rubert, and was seriously thinking about marrying him. But this seemed like... the opposite.

Obviously, it wasn’t that she hated Rubert. She was just setting aside her own feelings to figure out what she should do as Empress of the Holy Eldant Empire. The fate of her nation rode on her choice: should she form a marital connection, or not? At just seventeen years of age, she was being asked to make a life-altering decision, not even based on what she wanted, but on what would be best for her country. Not based on whom she loved, but on who would be the most beneficial to her nation. It was a huge choice to have to make. And a terrible one.

“...Say, Shinichi,” Petralka began, as if she couldn’t take the silence between us any longer.

“Yeah?”

“There is something we wish to ask you.”

“Ask me?” What could she possibly want to ask me? “I don’t know if I’ll be much help, but... ask away.” Even though I didn’t think I had much to offer an empress by way of advice.

“Ahem, well then... Mn. Ahem.” She cleared her throat delicately, and then, without looking at me, she said, “Suppose there was—hypothetically, you understand—but suppose there was a person whom one could absolutely not marry for reasons of... position.”

“Position?” Did she mean like in Romeo and Juliet? Like, someone you couldn’t marry because they belonged to an enemy group?

“This person and you... by no means do you hate each other, in fact... you think rather well of each other. Or... or so you assume, at least...” Suddenly, Petralka sounded a lot less confident.

“What are you getting at, Petralka...?” All this stuff about “thinking well of each other” and “assuming.” It was sounding less hypothetical by the minute. In fact, it sounded like she had someone in mind. Like maybe...

“We are not talking about ourselves, you understand! We are asking for a friend!”

“Oh, uh, sure.” I nodded vigorously, deeply relieved for some reason. So this was all about some friend of hers, after all. Was it normal to blush so hard when you were asking about a friend’s situation, though? I guess it just went to show how innocent Petralka was when it came to love. Gosh, she was sweet.

...Hey, wait a second.

A friend?

Could she be talking about... Garius? Prince Rubert fit the bill for someone he absolutely couldn’t marry. Was Petralka trying to get my advice about the two of them? Of course! Since Rubert had proposed to her, Petralka couldn’t very well go to Garius about this. Instead, she wanted the opinion of a total outsider—namely, me. So why couldn’t she just come out and say she was asking about Garius? I guess she’d been a little embarrassed to let me know she was worried about him. Petralka tried to act strong whenever she could, and this was probably part of that. Gosh! What a sweetie, being so considerate about her cousin like that...

As I was busy moe-ing it up, Petralka went on, “For reasons of position, the two absolutely cannot marry, but meanwhile by this person’s side there is another—even if they do not have, ahem, any kind of special relationship as of yet.”

Ahh. This other person had to be Petralka herself. Rubert and Garius had feelings for each other, but for reasons of state, Rubert had proposed to Petralka.

“Insofar as this other person is of perfectly acceptable position, that person would make the better partner...” Petralka was a woman, which meant getting married to her was, you know, possible, and that alone made her highly preferable to Garius. Not to mention that when it came to imperials and royals getting married, there were matters of succession to consider. “And suppose that this were a source of great anxiety to you... and that you began to think that you had to give in, to give up. But then... there were also moments when you believe the person you long for may not... may not dislike you; indeed, may very much have feelings for you.”

An obvious reference to what Prince Rubert had said at the tea party—pretending to compliment Petralka while secretly describing Garius.

“What would you do?”

“Good question...”

That was one seriously twisted love triangle, I thought. Petralka didn’t say anything, but watched me intently as she waited for my answer. She must have been really worried about Garius, because her face was beet red. In fact, she almost looked like she might cry... Uh, er, Your Majesty? I know I’m supposed to be a neutral third party here, but... when you look at me like that, I start to get this funny feeling...

Okay, the first thing to do was to calm down. Calm down, Kanou Shinichi! We weren’t talking about me. I wasn’t involved. I could be detached and rational about this. I took a deep breath, trying to stop my heart from pounding in my ears.

Who knows what Petralka thought of me as I stood there silently trying to decide what to say? Finally she blinked, looked at the ground, and said, “It has gone unremarked all this time. Perhaps it would be best to continue that way.”

Mm. That sounded like something straight out of a romance manga: better to keep it inside than to confess your feelings and screw everything up or get hurt.

“Of course, even a moment’s thought about one’s position makes clear that things were never going to go on forever as they had. But these recent events have made certain decisions far more pressing...” She almost sounded like she was talking to herself. Suddenly she stopped and exclaimed, “W-We do not speak of ourself, you understand?!”

“Y-Yeah, I got that. I understand!”

“Indeed? We urge you to keep it in mind.”

“Right, I’m—I’m keeping it...”

I nodded almost frantically, but Petralka continued to glare at me for a moment longer. Why did she look sullen?

Oof... The way you stare up at me like that is just too adorable, Your Majesty. It makes me think all sorts of wrong things, so I wish you’d stop. I mean, for one thing, we’re standing way too close, and I can feel the heat off your body, and I’m afraid you can hear my heart racing...

Umm... what were we talking about, again?

Oh, right! The love triangle. Hmmm...

“Okay, so,” I said after a moment’s thought. “Is this really a decision that absolutely has to be made right now?”

“What...?” Petralka blinked, seemingly not expecting my question. “W-Well, it...”

“There’s no answer right now, right? I think maybe that’s okay.”

“Shinichi.........”

“There’s no answer. Maybe that is the answer, for now. Maybe later, when times change, it’ll be possible to find another answer.”

“But... is that not simply running away from the question?”

“Is that a bad thing?” I smiled awkwardly and scratched my cheek. I guess as someone who had run away into home security guard-ism after being shot down by his oldest friend, I wasn’t really one to talk. But then again... “Look,” I said, “I was a NEET once.”

“A neat?”

Oops... I guess she didn’t know that word.

“It’s, uh, well... Huh. Guess I never really told you about this, did I?” The whole thing with my friend, my failed love story—I’d never actually told Petralka the whole thing. Myusel knew, but... “So, uh... way back when, there was this girl I liked, an old friend of mine. And I told her how I felt about her—this was back in Japan, see? But she just... didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“D-Didn’t she indeed?” Petralka looked almost surprised.

“I let myself get totally down in the dumps over it. I shut myself in my room, stopped wanting to do anything. I spent all my time running away from reality... I never went outside. Just stayed in my room, letting time slip away.”

Petralka just looked at me; she didn’t say anything.

“But then the Japanese government, uh, hired me as General Manager of Amutech. It’s a pretty crazy story, but that’s how I got here, to Eldant. That’s how I met you, Petralka, and everyone else here. And I couldn’t have asked for more kindness for a bumbling otaku.”

I wasn’t suggesting in any way that it was a good thing to be a NEET or a shut-in. But let’s just say you never know where life’s going to take you. If you find out you can’t push, try pulling. If you assume you can never run away, if you think straight ahead is the only direction you can ever go, then you might find that some opportunities close themselves off. I had a sneaking suspicion that when it comes to living our lives, there wasn’t really such a thing as “the right way,” nothing saying “this is how things have to be.” If you made a choice, and you didn’t regret it, that was enough.

And if that was the case, I didn’t think there was much to gain from rushing a choice you had to make. Maybe you couldn’t put it off forever, but if you had given it all the thought you could, if you had agonized and ruminated and considered and still hadn’t come up with an answer, then maybe that was a sign that right now wasn’t the moment to make that decision.

“If you absolutely can’t choose one way or the other, then put it off for a while,” I said, again with that awkward smile. “Is that such a bad thing?”

Petralka looked at me, blinking furiously. Then, glancing at the ground, she said, “Can it be a good thing?”

“At the very least, I don’t think it’s... bad.”

“Indeed...” Petralka almost whispered, and then she looked up at me again. This time her face was—bright. Cheerful. I didn’t have a lot of life experience to back up my attempt at sage advice, but I guess it had worked for her. “Indeed.” The smile she gave me made my heart feel like it was going to jump out of my chest.

Argh, this girl is cute to death!

But as I stood there with the moe practically rolling off me...

“Your Majesty!” someone called. I flinched. Er, we’re not doing anything! I swear! Nothing’s going on here!

Before I could start stuttering excuses, I turned around and saw Prime Minister Zahar, breathing hard as he ran toward us.

“Ah! At last I’ve found you!”

Petralka immediately stood up a little straighter. She nodded at me, the smile on her face telling me that a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. And then she went running—in exactly the opposite direction from Zahar.

“Your... Majesty...!”

Petralka (seventeen years old) was off like a shot, and Zahar (definitely not seventeen) was never going to catch her. At last, the elderly minister came to a halt in front of me, out of energy for the chase. He stood there, bent double, trying to get his breathing under control. It hurt just to watch him cough and shake like that.

Ummmm...

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that stuff about it being okay to run away?

“Are... Are you okay?” I asked.

“Th-Thank you... for your... concern...” Zahar huffed.

To assuage my feelings of guilt, I went over to the prime minister and started gently rubbing his back, trying to help him get the wheezing under control.

Cleaning a house means more than making sure everything is spic and span. When Shinichi-sama, my master, comes home, I want him to be as comfortable as possible in his mansion, so not only does the house have to be clean, all the little details have to be just right. Of course, we have our gardener Brooke-san to take care of the landscaping, but I make sure to sweep the entranceway and periodically weed near the front door.

Today that’s just the sort of thing I was doing, sweeping leaves and dirt out of the foyer, when I suddenly found myself sighing. It made me realize how long I had been standing there sweeping the same spot.

This wasn’t good. I had so much to do: laundry to bring in, dinner to make. I couldn’t afford to stand around, uselessly sweeping the same piece of floor over and over. I put the broom away in a hurry, collecting my dustpan and setting it aside. But before long, I found myself letting out another one of those long, unhappy breaths.

Not good? This was downright terrible. All yesterday and today, I had barely been able to concentrate on my work.

“Shinichi-sama...” In spite of myself, I gazed in the direction of the forest—past the interweaving branches, toward the castle that towered over it all. Eldant Castle, where Shinichi-sama was at this very moment. He was, as I understood it, there to try to talk Her Majesty the Empress out of marrying the Prince of Zwelberich. Loek-san and Romilda-san’s parents had seemed to think Shinichi-sama was the best person for this job. And certainly, he was very good at expressing himself to Her Majesty. Yet even knowing that, I still felt...

Anxious. Uneasy. Distressed. And all the more so because I knew how well Shinichi-sama talked to Her Majesty. What if, as he tried to convince her not to go through with this marriage, he began to focus on her as a woman? And if she began to see him as a man? Then...

“I...”

When I had shared with Shinichi-sama my anxiety that Her Majesty had begun to view him as a possible partner, he had laughed it off and said such a thing wasn’t possible. Yet as smart as he was, I believed that this time, he was wrong.

I had been driven to consider my own feelings by talking to Clara-san during her time at our mansion. Until then, I had left them ambiguous, tried not to think too hard about them. I was certainly aware of the immense respect I had for Shinichi-sama, but I hadn’t decided whether it was the esteem of a servant for her master, or if it was something I felt for him as a man above and beyond his station. It wasn’t a decision I had needed—or, honestly, even wanted—to make.

Maybe the same thing was true of Shinichi-sama when it came to Her Majesty. And what would happen if, in light of these recent events, they came to acknowledge that they had feelings for each other? The thought made my heart ache. But look at me: a person of my lowly position had no business interfering in the affairs of my master and an empress. All I could do was watch, and see what happened. That almost crushed me, and yet I had no choice at all. Together, those two facts left me empty.

“Shinichi-sama...”

Just speaking the name of this person I had such profound feelings for almost threatened to steal the breath from my lungs. And yet, it seemed I couldn’t stop that name from coming to my lips. Kanou Shinichi-sama. My master, to whom I owed so much. The person who changed my very destiny. The man who accepted me with a smile, with no thought for the blood in my veins.

I sighed again. How many times was this today? I had lost count. And just then...

“Heartsick, my dear?”

I caught my breath and looked in the direction of the voice. A figure was coming toward me. It wore a long, dark cloak that concealed it almost from head to toe. For the life of me, I couldn’t tell who it was. All I could determine was that this person was about my height—and that the voice sounded like it belonged to a young woman.

“May I ask who you are...?” I said, automatically assuming a respectful posture.

Shinichi-sama had come from another world called Ja-pan, to help bring his land and ours together. In other words, he was a most unusual person. It was what had gotten him kidnapped by the neighboring kingdom of Bahairam, caught up with an anti-government gang, and might yet see him targeted again. Could this person be after him, too?

I kept a close eye on the woman as she came to a halt in front of me. “I travel these lands telling fortunes,” she said. “I heard rumors of the master of this house, and came to inquire humbly if he might wish to employ my services.” I could see her looking steadily at me from under her hood.

“You’re a fortune-teller...?”

“I am,” she nodded.

It wasn’t unusual for fortune-tellers to visit the homes of nobles or prominent businessmen—houses with money to spare. How often in politics or business does one come up against a decision with no easy answer? When such people simply couldn’t decide on their own, they would employ one of these soothsayers. I had even heard it said that some such households kept specialists, a fortune-teller specifically in their employ.

I had been told that my mother, who had an uncommon power called “the Foreseeing Eye,” had used it to help establish her family’s business. Although this power was not quite the same thing as fortune-telling. In any event, this woman might have been hoping that, with a little luck, she could become Shinichi-sama’s—that is to say, Amutech’s—resident fortune-teller. Having such a post with someone who was in the good graces of the empress herself virtually assured a life of ease—or so it would be perfectly natural to think.

“Um, I’m afraid my master isn’t in right now...”

“You, Miss.” The woman almost seemed to be shoving aside my words. “There is much on your mind, is there not?”

“What? Er—”

“Might you be... wracked with love, say?”

I felt myself shiver. Yes, that was it: love. This was love... wasn’t it? Hearing someone else say it made it feel so much more real, almost impossible to doubt. “How... How did you know...?” I asked.

“My crystals show me everything,” the woman said, producing something from her cloak. It was a necklace hanging around her neck, strung with crystals. It had several overlapping leather straps, and in the middle of it all glittered one crystal substantially larger than the others. “I can see. You are beset by a torturous love, are you not?”

I couldn’t form words. I could feel my hair standing on end with shock and fear; it was like she could see right through me.

The woman continued in a voice kind enough to soothe my fears, yet unrelenting in its insight into me. Sounding almost musical, she said, “I will tell you a thing that happens: a maid may grow smitten with her master.”

I could hardly breathe.

“And this, too, sometimes occurs: a half-elf, though of station most humble, may reach beyond her place and dare to love a human being.”

“Wha—?” Without meaning to, I touched a hand to one ear. Inside the mansion, nobody worried about my being a half-elf. They were too kind. This, too, was thanks to Shinichi-sama. So when I was indoors, I didn’t take pains to hide my ears with my hair. But outside...

“I... I—I...” I felt my face grow hot with embarrassment.

“I am beginning to understand.” A small smile crossed the hooded woman’s face. “And what is more... This master of yours, he fails to recognize how you feel for him, yes?”

“You even know that...?”

Fortune-tellers ran the gamut, from charlatans who simply said whatever came into their heads in hopes that it would strike a chord with their audience, to those like my mother who truly had unusual abilities, who could indeed see things others could not. This woman appeared to be one of the latter.

“That, and more. For all appears in the crystals.” The woman’s face was half hidden in shadow, but she sounded almost eager. “What is your wish? Shall I lend you their aid?”

“W-Would you?! Oh, but...” I had nowhere near enough money to hire an actual seer. Even a single question to someone competent enough to serve nobles and their like would surely not come cheap.

“Worry not. I ask not for payment in coin, only in kind. Perhaps you would see fit to put in a good word for me with your master.”

“Oh, I... I see...”

“Look closely at this crystal. It will show you what you should do.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!” I moved closer to the fortune-teller, gazing at the crystal as she said. A few seconds passed. I was perplexed; I didn’t seem to see anything in particular.

“Look veeery closely. Very closely indeed. The crystal is only a catalyst. It is your own will to discover the truth that summons an answer from the void.”

“All right...” I squinted my eyes. And then... What? What was that? A feeling, almost as if I myself was being sucked into the crystal. A light seemed to flash within it, and when I squinted even harder to try to get a better look, I felt myself being pulled further into the blackness... “Wha...?”

My head felt fuzzy; I couldn’t quite make myself think. I tried to bring something, anything to mind, but the thoughts slipped away like water through my hands.

“Hoo hoo...............”

As if from far away, I heard the fortune-teller laughing. Yet I felt as if I couldn’t quite be sure... And finally, the darkness overtook me.