"Do it fast if you’re gonna do it fast, lick if you’re gonna lick? Well said, Jeong Tae-ui. Suck and lick. You better remember that well because you’re going to be rubbing against it every day from now on. If I spill even a single drop of what I’m about to release today, you’ll truly see hell, so you’d better swallow hard."

I wanted to snap back, asking what hell I hadn’t seen yet, but my mouth was blocked and I couldn’t speak. The huge piece of flesh shoved into my throat as my head was grabbed and shaken. The three slaps against my uvula made me gag.

But even that wasn’t under my control.

My breath choked, nausea rising. I flailed instinctively, but the strong hand gripping my head didn’t budge. Tears welled up at the corners of my eyes, but Tae-ui himself didn’t even realize.

“Why? This mouth doesn’t move at all. Does it only work when you’re mouthing off cocky words?”

Ilay’s rough muttering voice seemed to come from far away.

Then—

There was a knock on the door. A moment of “Excuse me,” came from Gabe’s voice beyond the door.

For a moment, Tae-ui’s thoughts froze. The hand pressing down on his head also seemed to stop. But then, as if nothing had happened, the hand shook his head again, and the chunk of flesh filling his mouth pushed even deeper. Tae-ui twisted his body wildly. It was almost an unconscious movement. Embarrassment filled his mind, leaving no room to think of anything else.

However, Ilay’s grip on Tae-ui didn’t loosen, and click—the door opened.

Silence flowed. Tae-ui froze as if petrified. Only Ilay’s waist, busy with the intrusive movement inside Tae-ui’s mouth, moved slightly.

Above Tae-ui, whose mind had gone blank, Ilay’s cold voice was heard.

“Is it urgent?”

After a brief pause, another calm voice followed, seemingly just as unmoved.

“There’s no rush. I’ll be downstairs then. Come down when you’re finished.”

And then came the sound of the door closing with a click.

That was all. The brief external interruption ended there. Gabe didn’t say anything to Tae-ui, nor did he cast any fierce or contemptuous glances. It was just a calm, ordinary voice as if nothing had happened. Probably, even if they met again later, Gabe would act like nothing had happened.

But—

“...—.”

Tae-ui barely swallowed the groan rising from his chest. No, even if he tried to groan, the flesh blocking his mouth made it impossible.

He felt deeply upset. No, “upset” was a slight understatement. It felt like his whole body was being torn apart piece by piece, pitiful and painful. It was a sensation he had never felt before. Only after a delay did Tae-ui realize this was what it meant to have one’s pride wounded.

It wasn’t much pride. He had never consciously thought that he had such a thing inside himself, something that must be protected. It had always been naturally there.

But now—

Crouched like a beast, unable to move with his head pressed down, holding another man’s crotch in his mouth, he felt utterly miserable.

“......”

Suddenly, Ilay’s gaze fell down from above his head. But Tae-ui didn’t even feel that gaze. The tear that came to the corner of his eye was not from difficulty breathing or mouth pain.

In that horrible feeling of considering himself pathetic, Tae-ui couldn’t even move a finger. It was such a negative, miserable feeling.

“...Tae-ui.”

The voice was a little lower than usual. But Tae-ui didn’t move as if he didn’t hear it.

“Tae-ui...—Tae-ui!”

Again, two or three times, the voice called his name faintly and anxiously. Tae-ui quietly raised his eyes. Their eyes met. Ilay looked down at Tae-ui with a very strange expression. It was a face Tae-ui had never seen before. He didn’t even know what that expression meant.

Perhaps Tae-ui was no different. Ilay suddenly twisted his face, clicked his tongue, then released the hand pressing Tae-ui’s head and roughly pushed him away. Tae-ui almost rolled off the bed onto the floor, but Ilay quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“......”

Tae-ui silently dropped his gaze, crushed inside. The threatening thing was still raised in front of him. But only briefly—Ilay stood up abruptly and left the bed.

Without a word, [N O V E L I G H T] he walked toward the bathroom but suddenly stopped, shouting out in a burst of anger as if unable to contain it. He yelled loudly enough to shake the entire room, then spat rough words in German as he entered the bathroom. Probably curses. He didn’t come out for a while, cursing as he went.

Why am I the one yelling and causing a fuss? I’m the one who should be angry.

Tae-ui thought gloomily. But he wasn’t angry. His mind was too soaked in sadness for anger. Sitting silently, hugging his knees, Tae-ui stared at Ilay’s back as he entered the bathroom.

Ilay stood in front of the toilet. Unbelievably, he was relieving himself. Muttering curses roughly—sometimes it seemed his name slipped between the incomprehensible German words—he scanned down below, then suddenly stopped. The sound of water dripping into the toilet echoed intermittently for quite a while.

When Ilay turned and came out of the bathroom, his expression was fierce. It wasn’t his usual indifferent face. His eyes were sharp and icy. He grabbed his pants, hastily pulled them on, then suddenly glared at Tae-ui. Not glared, but stared—his glassy bluish eyes.

Tae-ui had seen those eyes before. The eyes that thought “Should I kill him?”

Those were not human eyes. Not eyes that looked at people. They were the eyes of a killer staring at his victim.

“...Yeah, then all the complicated and troublesome stuff will end.”

He muttered quietly. His black eyes, like bluish blades, gleamed with a burning heat as he stared at Tae-ui.

Is he really going to kill me? Kill me for real?

How long was he standing like that? The murderous aura prickled Tae-ui’s skin painfully. Seconds? Minutes? At some point, Ilay took a step toward Tae-ui and stopped. His expression twisted fiercely again.

“...Damn it.”

He cursed under his breath and turned away. Then strode out of the room. Only the loud slam of the door remained.

Tae-ui stared silently at the door for a long time like a lost doll, then finally sighed deeply as usual.

“Damn it... that’s what I should be saying. All the good mood just flew away...”

Muttering “useless bastard,” Tae-ui got up from the bed. Then suddenly touched the corner of his eye. It was already dried out and crusty. Earlier, his tears had come so naturally from the deep frustration and despair.

Tae-ui muttered, “Let the bugs come if they want,” and opened the screen door again. He climbed onto the window frame and sat down. The dim garden stretched below. He sighed heavily.

It’s hard. Harder than when I was always being torn to bloody pieces following him at UNHRDO. At least back then, there was consistency. You could guess how he would react in any situation. But now, I can’t predict his emotional ups and downs at all.

“...Still, that beast probably felt a bit embarrassed...? No, he wouldn’t.”

Tae-ui rubbed his sore jaw and scratched his dry throat. He had no idea why Ilay suddenly stopped and stepped aside like that.

But even so—

“...Ah... I still can’t forgive him. Can’t forgive him.”

Tae-ui muttered like a sigh. That bastard turned my insides upside down more than once, but this, too, is unforgivable. You have to leave at least a little pride to a person.

“How am I supposed to look at Gabe’s face...”

Of course, Gabe would act like nothing happened, and Tae-ui would pretend it too. But the awkward feeling that lingered in his heart would not disappear.

Frowning, Tae-ui tore at his hair.

“Ah, whatever. I don’t care anymore. Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care...”

This kind of embarrassment—though not this blatant—wasn’t the first time. What’s the point of feeling awkward now?

Actually, it wasn’t Gabe Tae-ui felt wounded about. It was Ilay—the man who crushed him to the ground in that situation, and how that man treated him—that hurt his pride.

“Indeed... Yeah, being next to him and suffering like this.”

Tae-ui muttered bitterly. His hands lost strength from pulling his hair.

Ah, whatever... he muttered again weakly, and lowered his gaze back to the garden.

Then. He felt a gaze prick his cheek.

“...?”

Tae-ui turned his head. Outside the stone wall. Someone was watching him from beyond the wall. But when Tae-ui looked, there was nothing there—just a dark alley corner. The same place where the black boy had stood earlier.

“...Who’s there?”

No one answered, but Tae-ui spoke quietly. His low voice brushed the silent garden and reached outside. No reply came.

Tae-ui opened his mouth to say something else, but then—there was a knock on the door behind him.

“Excuse me,” said a tall voice beyond the door. Tae-ui climbed down from the window frame and replied, “Ah, yes.”

The door creaked open two or three spans, and the hostess from earlier poked her head in.

“Aren’t you hungry? I’ve prepared some food, so come down to the dining room.”

“Yes? Ah, yes. Thank you.”

Tae-ui smiled faintly and nodded. The hostess smiled warmly and left after closing the door.

Hearing that, forgotten hunger returned. Tae-ui glanced out the open window again, then shrugged and turned around.

Going down to the first floor, he thought it would feel awkward to eat in the dining room facing Gabe or Ilay. But they didn’t appear until after Tae-ui finished his meal and even cleared the fruit plate for dessert. Only then, rubbing his full stomach, did they come back upstairs.

I opened my eyes. Breathing out drowsily, my blurry vision caught the unfamiliar ceiling wallpaper. Before I could properly wonder where I was, Tae-ui remembered where he was lying.

Ah. Right. It was Seringe.

When you move somewhere new, it takes a few days to get used to the place. I usually realize this in the morning when I wake up from unconsciousness.

I thought I’d be waking up to this unfamiliar feeling for the next three or four days. While tossing and turning, I suddenly caught sight of something before closing my eyes again. Startled, I opened them wide.

“...!!”

Luckily my tongue froze in place. I almost let out a scream without realizing it.

My heart plummeted for a moment, then I patted my wildly pounding chest and blinked. Right in front of me was a neatly sleeping face. A face I was already familiar with. Not a face terrifying enough to make me panic, since I had seen it up close many times before. So even if I unexpectedly ran into that face, it wouldn’t be that shocking.

But still, I jumped up in surprise.

Waking up and opening your eyes only to see the bloody jaws of a slaughtering beast wide open right before you might be less shocking, but this wasn’t that.

I fumbled for a water cup by the bedside. After drinking a few sips, my heart calmed down. I was awake now. Waking up and seeing this face first thing in the morning was enough to wake me fully.

I put down the cup and gazed at the face with complicated feelings.

“...?”

I couldn’t understand. Last night, I went to bed alone, comfortably taking up the whole bed. Naturally. It was my room. But when I opened my eyes, someone was lying next to me.

If not as much as this guy, I’m a pretty light sleeper... How did he get into the bed without me noticing? More than that, why did he squeeze into this spot instead of using the wider bed?

I stared at that face for a while, then slowly got up. Sleep was completely gone. Though my mind was foggy and not working well, I looked back and forth between the ceiling wallpaper and the man lying beside me. Then I slowly recalled.

Yes, I remembered. Another grudge piled up yesterday. No matter who comes in or not, the cruel way he threw me down miserably flashed through my mind, and all the forgotten grudge came back.

In the end, I didn’t see Ilay leave the room yesterday. Didn’t see him at meal time, and he didn’t come to this room either, so naturally I didn’t see him.

Eventually, when I was getting angry at others, I ended up tired and muttering “Ah, forget it” to myself, as usual, and just went to bed.

And now, the face I saw first thing when I woke up.

“......”